Aftermaths
by HiddenStorys
Summary: What if Alex Drake had been in love with Aria? What if Aria was the one to rescue Spencer? What if Aria has to choose between her best friend and a girl who was supposed to be the enemy? This is the Aftermaths of Season 7 with a Twist. Sparia/Arlex/Ezria/. Hints of Haleb/Emison
1. Behind this mask

The real reason why Alex Drake has Spencer and Ezra locked up, is because she fell in love with Aria Montgomery the second she saw her. However, her new plan of replacing Spencer and making Aria love her, might not work out after all. As Aria becomes suspicious of Alex and creates a plan of her own, which surprsingly only leads her to more confusion then ever. She knew she loved Ezra, she knew she had been attracted to Spencer since they met, but she never would've thougth fallen for the one girl that had made their lives a living hell was even possible. Ezria/ Sparia/ Arlex

As many vieweres, I too was fascinated by Alex and thought it would be interested if she was in love with Aria instead of Toby. I like Ezra and Aria together, but I thought it would be a more interesting approach.

The story starts off after the mirror scene in 7x20 whe it is finally revealed that Spencer has a twin and is AD.

Hope you enjoy! Feedback is also very appreciated!

I don't own Pretty Little Liars, or the characters.

* * *

…

Seconds passed as she starred wordlessly at the figure in front of her.

„Boo!", the girl in front of her laughed out and Spencer stumbled back in shock. Panic rose inside her and she needed a few seconds to process what was happening.

The next minutes passed her in a wave of trance. Alex. Alex Drake. AD. She had left kindergarten early. She had skipped sixth grade in middle school. She had been valedictorian in high school and she had studied law in freaking Washington DC but she couldn't wrap her head around what was happening around her. All of the sudden this girl across from her that looked like Spencer had just cloned herself; this girl with her almost annoying british accent and her witty comments; this girl felt so strange and so familiar to her at the same time.

Spencer blinked a few times. Processing everything Alex had said.

Mary Drake had had a second child. She was raised in London by a wealthy family, given up on because she was having problems early in her childhood and probably bringing shame to her parents, moved to a foster home and started her lonely life after that. She had met Wren at a bar and from then things had moved fast. He was the one who had introduced her to Charlotte, her, their sister. She had wondered about her, about Spencer. But Charlotte never wanted them to cross paths. Spencer couldn't really understand why but maybe Charlotte wanted Alex to herself. In a way she had Ali then, so Alex was all she got. Spencer could understand that in a way. Even it was twisted. Alex told Spencer how Wren and her fell in love, how Charlotte met Dunhill, how the four of them would be the best of friends. That was until Charlotte wanted more. She wanted to start the game again, the A-game. So she left for Rosewood, despite Alex's pleads to stay or to let her come with her – apparently that was the last time Alex had seen her, shortly before Mona had accidently killed her in the bell tower. It sounded tragic almost, out of one of those creepy novels that Spencer read from time to time. Surreal. Alex wanted to honour Charlotte, to continue what she had started and it seemed that she didn't stop at any point. Until she got to know more about Spencer and her life – and how perfect it all seemed. That is when she knew what she wanted – she wanted to be her – she wanted to life that „perfect" life herself. Killing Wren in the process, was necassary, she said. He was a burden, who tried to stop her plan, to stop her from getting what she wanted – Spencer's identity and life. Now he was a sparkling diamond, dangling just beneath his killer's neck.

„Is that what you wanted?", Spencer asked carefully, still processing. „Revenge?"

„You don't get it, love, do you?", her British accent confusing Spencer even more. „You were the lucky one. You've got friends who would murder for you. You've got family. You've got that lad Toby who loves you unconditionally even though his fiancée just died a year ago! You were lucky, Spencer. And it is only fair to share that luck with your sister, don't you think so?"

„What are you planning?"

„Attending a wedding, if there will be a wedding that is..." She smirked amused and let out a little laugh, while moving around the cold room like she was thinking.

„What do you mean by that?" Spencer knew she would only anger that copy of herself if she would be too provocative. She was better off being careful. A part of her was still afraid she would end up like Wren.

„It was supposed to be a surprise, but whatever." She got up from the chair, kicking it into the wall in the process, and Spencer flinched for a moment, earning an amused laugh from Alex.

She proceeded to the entrance of the room, locking the heavy slide doors after leaving Spencer's improvised cell. Then, she fiddled with what looked like a control pad until the grey shutter on the wall across Spencer's cell rose, revealing none other than Ezra Fitz!

Spencer gasped, sitting up in less than a second, and then flinching again when the cold metal around her ankle hold her in place.

„You kidnapped Ezra?!", she shouted in anger and briefly made eye contact with her best friend's future husband and friend, sending him a small smile of comfort and compassion. He did not belong here. It wasn't any of his buisness to be here. But she had to admit that a small part of her felt relieved that she wasn't alone in this.

„Leave him out of this!", she demanded, when Spencer had finally found her voice again. „He does not have anything to do with this! Please. Just let him go."

„He is kind of in the way of things, sorry, love." Alex shrugged her shoulders and send Ezra a fake smile, before she turned to Spencer again. „Show over. Say goodbye.", she muttered and Ezra's and Spencer's eyes widened before Alex pressed some buttons again and the shutter began to close.

„No, please! I'm getting married today! Don't do this! Let me out of here!" Ezra's desperate cries filled Spencer's ears but they were soon met with silence when the shutter closed fully.

„Why is he here?" She sensed that Alex didn't want to reveal that information in front of Ezra, and Spencer could only guess why that was.

„Well, one – he was too dangerous, too close to figuring it all out. And second..." Alex stopped then, smiling at Spencer and reentering her cell, before plopping down on the chair which she picked up in one move and positioned it in front of Spencer's bed.

„You have lovely friends.", she smiled, thinking of one particular short girl with brown hair and that cute little smile she wore on her face.

„What?", Spencer couldn't quite figure out, what Alex was implying. It seemed that her interlectual brain was mashed and nothing made sense anymore.

„My little helper. She is gorgeous! Too bad there is this fiancé that keeps blocking my way."

„Aria? You're into Aria?", Spencer let out, feeling something tighten in her chest, afraid that this monster would end up hurting her little friend.

„I don't know why you look so schocked! You two looked close.."

„She is my best friend! Of course, we're close! God, I swear – you touch a hair on her head and you're dead meat! Leave her out of this! Leave Ezra out of this! You got me, but don't touch my friends! They don't deserve it! Any of it."

„If it wasn't for Aria being such a cutie, she would be right in this gutter with you! I did everything to have her on my side of this game! She is too loyal to all of you! You should've seen her face when I wanted her to plant that recording into your house! She seems to like you."

„Is that what this is about? You being jealous of her turning away from you? You must be sick if you ever thought Aria would volountaryily betray her friends like that! She was scared. She wouldn't have done it if it wasn't for keeping Ezra out of jail."

„She chose him over you, then. Sweet."

Spencer looked at Alex for a moment. Thinking about what she had just said. Aria did chose him over her, over them. But wouldn't she do the same if Toby was involved? She already had. A few years ago. But somehow it still hurt to be bascially told that their long time, fundamental friendship wasn't as important as her love to Ezra. Ezra. The one person who had betrayed her the most, while Spencer was by her side picking up the pieces, and giving Aria the comfort she so desperately was looking for. It hurt. It stung. And she hated Alex for making her feel that way.

"Please don't hurt her.", Spencer winced and Alex stood up and chuckled, moving to the door, before turning around.

"No worries. I won't. We're gonna be good together. Promise"

And before Spencer could comment on that, her door had been shut, and the shutter came crushing down, surrounding her in emptiness, and left with her thoughts.

...

Aria was curled up into a ball on the small couch in her dressing room, her friends huddling around her with worried glances.

"I am sure he is coming", Emily tried to give her lost friend some compassion, but even she, the most optimistic one of their group was slowly losing hope.

"Did you try calling him again?" Aria looked up to her best friend, and nodded sadly at Spencer, who approached her slowly and sat down next to her, placing a comforting hand on her knee and trying to comfort her.

The only thing that kept Aria from breaking fully, were her friends being right next to her, never leaving her side. She was blessed with such pure friendship that she almost smiled at the thought of them always being there for her, after everything they have been through, after everything she had done.

...

Hours passed and Aria was now tucked up in bed, lying next to a sleeping Hanna whose soft breathing was almost lulling her into her own dreams. But every time she tried to close her eyes images of Ezra and his whereabouts plagued her to the point that she couldn't help but to open them again. When she tried to close them again, she was confused when she felt the mattress sink a little deeper. She kept her eyes closed. Thinking, hoping, wishing that maybe it was Ezra who had come back to her. She was going crazy and she hoped he couldn't hear her rapid heartbeat. She sensed a feather touch on her face, when she felt someone brushing a stray of hair, tucking it softly behind her ear. Maybe it was her desperation, but in that moment, even though she knew Ezra's touch by heart, she let herself believe it was him. That was until the person next to her spoke the next words: "I think that you and I are gonna be the closest of all."

Aria held her breath. Her voice sounded familiar. It sounded like.. Spencer? But why would Spencer say that? Of course they were Team Sparia, but that whispering? Maybe she was losing her mind? Maybe she had imagined it?

She laid still a few more seconds, until she pretended to wake up slowly. Adjusting her eyes in the darkness, she almost shrieked at how close the other body laid next to her, their faces almost touching. And yet, she found comfort in the way Spencer laid next to her. It was her. She could make out her face in the dark and could hear her breathing slowly. Was she already asleep?

"Spence?" Aria whispered, unsure if she would get an answer.

Spencer's eyes opened slowly and her lips turned into a smile when she connected eyes with hers.

"Hey. I am sorry, I just came over here. I didn't want to wake you. Hope it's okay."

"Of course.", she smiled because what else would she say?

"Still no word from Ezra?" Aria sighed when she heard his name. "No. Nothing. I don't know if I should be worried or angry, you know? I am so confused. Why would he leave me?" She knew tears were probably starting to fall every second, but this time she didn't care less. Spencer was her best friend. She knew her in and out. It was pointless to hide anything from her anyway. That's when she remembered her friend's cryptic words.

"Spence? What did you mean when you said we two are gonna be the closest of all?" She asked and raised an eyebrow, even though Spencer couldn't probably see it.

Spencer seemed to be a little startled by that question and Aria wondered why that was. Maybe she was losing it, too?

"I just think that you and I have been going through it all, you know. And I couldn't imagine not being there for you, that's all. Hanna has all these problems with Mona and her trying to get pregnant, and Emily and Alison are busy with the girls, so I guess I just wanted you to know that I am gonna be there for you. No matter what."

Aria smiled then. And it was the first genuine smile since before all this wedding chaos happened.

"Thank you.", Aria whispered and searched Spencer's hand in the dark, intervening their fingers and squeezing it softly.

"I don't know what I would do without you. Thank god you forgave me. You and the girls mean so much to me. I honestly don't think I would make it if you weren't here with me."

"You don't ever have to worry about that, Aria. We love you. I am not gonna abandon you. I am not going anywhere."

Arms wrapped around Aria's tiny frame and Spencer kissed her forehead. Pressing her head into the curve of Spencer's neck, feeling her best friend run a hand through her hair, she finally fell asleep.

...

Alex carefully untangled herself from Aria, getting out of bed and moving to the door, but not before looking at Aria once more. She truly was beautiful. And after tonight, even though Aria had her startled for a moment, she was sure there was a realistic chance of Aria being able to see her as more than a friend. She just had to get rid of Ezra and make sure he wasn't ever going to come back. She would be there for Aria. Drying her tears and making her forget. Making her love her and they would live happily ever after. And maybe then, she could finally have the family she so desperately longed for.

An hour later, Alex was at her place again. Going down the stairs to her underground world. She would have preferred to stay in bed with Aria, but she couldn't risk leaving those two dickheads alone. Who would know what they could come up with.

"Morning, sunshine.", she lets out when she reachers Spencer's cell. "Did you sleep alright, darling?", she said in a mocked tone and Spencer glared at her, clearly unable to come up with a witty response.

"You never told me how beautiful your friend looks when she is sleeping. If I didn't know it was Aria, I might have thought it was a little angel."

"You visited Aria when she was sleeping?!" Spencer's eyes widened and Alex couldn't hold back a little chuckle.

"Of course. I almost blew it, though! Shame on me! I will have to be more careful, then."

"She is gonna find out that you're just a cheap copy. She knows me. She knows me better than I know myself."

"Well, I'm sure you're surprised then that she let me comfort her and hug her until the cute thing fell asleep."

"I told you not to touch her! You're disgusting!"

"I am you, Spencer. Deal with it. It's over. I will let you live, cause you're family but this is your new home, you better make yourself comfortable."

"And Ezra?"

"I still don't know what to do with him. I thought about killing him and sending Aria a nice photo, but I know this would just break her heart and I honestly do not know if I could stand that or if she would really be open to something new after that, so I might keep him in here a little while and have him tell Aria himself that she shouldn't hope for a comeback."

"So what? You're gonna keep us here and try to what? make her love you? Ezra is the only guy Aria has ever truly loved. She wouldn't settle for anyone else, believe me. This is a lost cause."

"The thing you're not thinking of, honey, is that Aria has never been in love with another "guy" - she might try something different."

Alex noticed the wave of shock that crossed Spencer's face. She could only imagine what was going through her twin sister's mind.

She would find a way for Aria to fall in love with her. She hadn't went through all of this, hadn't spent all this money for nothing. After all - what could be more romantic than going from best friends to lovers? Aria was a sucker for romantic novels. Alex was sure if she played her cards right, it wouldn't be long until she had her family.


	2. Restless

Thank you for your Feedback. I have so many ideas for this story! It it is still not set in stone what endgame its gonna be though - I am leaning towards Sparia - but what do you guys think? Ezria / Arlex or Sparia? Leave a comment and let me know! Also, English is not my native language - So I apologize for any mistakes!

Enjoy!

Spencer looked up to the blank ceiling. How many days had passed? Three? Four? She lost track of time, and somehow she was brought back to the time she and her friends spent in the Dollhouse, even though she had to admit, that at least this felt more like a prison than a torture place.

She still didn't know what felt more surreal. Her having an evil twin and being locked up somewhere underground with Ezra Fitz or her evil twin having feelings for one of her closest friends. She seriously wondered if Aria could ever find Alex attractive, well basically she wondered if Aria could ever find _her_ attractive. She didn't know why she spent so much time thinking about this. Aria would never love anyone besides Ezra. He was the one. And Spencer would do anything in her power to bring him out alive, she would do anything for Aria.

„Hello again, sister." Her voice was like a knife twisting into Spencer's ears.

„I just wanted to stop by, and have a little talk with our male guest here." Alex winked over to Ezra, whose head turned into her direction.

„I have some work for you to do.", Alex smiled and Spencer could only guess what she wanted Ezra to do. She desperately hoped Aria wouldn't believe his words and would still try to figure out what was going on.

"If you want me to tell Aria to stop hoping for me to come back, forget it!" Ezra seemed determined, but Spencer had a feeling crossing Alex would be impossible.

"It's your choice, really. I could always turn Aria into a nice little diamond, too. What do you think? I think I would like to have a ring...that way she would always be with me, till death do us apart. Actually, I never thought of this before. I like this plan." Alex scratched her head then for a moment and pulled out her little control pad again, pressing some buttons. Spencer could here a door being opened, but her position wouldn't allow her to see anything. It was only when Alex came back into sight with a shiny revolver that Spencer's face lost all color and she panicked.

"Don't touch her!", Spencer cried out and banged on to the wall, for Alex to notice her. She softened then, knowing that the only thing that could really work is try some psychological skills she had picked up from her parents working as lawyers. Think of something, Spencer, she told her herself. Give her a reason she cannot kill Aria. Fast. "Don't kill her!", she cried out and Alex turned to her, curiosity shining in her eyes. "Why is that?"

"I mean, if you kill her, you'll never know the kind of amazing kisser she is, you'll never be able to touch her soft lips, hear her adorable little moan or feel her delicate fingers touch your skin."

Spencer wasn't surprised when she saw Ezra looking shocked, like he had just seen a ghost. To be honest, Spencer wasn't really planning to say that at all. The words just came out without any warning, and she couldn't control herself.

Alex looked closely at Spencer, raising a perfectly shaped eyebrow at her. "How would you know?", she asked, and Spencer might have spotted a tone of jealousy in her voice.

"Spencer?" That was Ezra. She still wouldn't meet his eyes, though. All she could think of now, was saving Aria from turning into ashes. She had to convince Alex that Aria was worth it, even though she felt sick thinking of Alex and her best friend being together.

"It was at a party.", Spencer specified. "We were...a little drunk. It was during one of those college parties. She came to visit me in Washington and we went to some dorm party and got pretty wasted. I was missing Toby, and Aria was still thinking of Ezra, and then all of the sudden we are playing truth or dare and there is this one guy who thinks he is the funniest of all and dares us to kiss. So we did." She hoped they believed her story. It sounded pretty convincing anyway. And it was only half a lie.

"That's it?", Alex suspiciously asked. "Aria _moaned_ in front of everyone at a party?"

Spencer blushed then, feeling like she just got caught. She and Aria had promised to never bring up that night again. It was so long ago, but now it was something Spencer thought about more often than she would like to.

"She stayed at my place that night." That was all Spencer was going to give away. They didn't need to know what happened that night. That night was reserved for her and Aria only.

"Did you sleep with her?" It surprised Spencer that it was actually Ezra's shocked voice that filled the room and not Alex's.

"No! Of course not!" Like she said. She wouldn't give them more information about that night, weather it was true or not.

….

As Alex looked up at the ceiling, she couldn't help but let her mind wander. Alex couldn't get Aria out of her head, not since Spencer had explained how they had kissed. She felt jealously rise inside her at the thought of anyone else touching her. She didn't know where those feelings came from. Even with Wren it had never felt like this.

"What are you thinking about, Spence?" Aria brought her out of her thoughts. A week had passed since Ezra had "left" Aria at the alter and Alex had refused to let Aria stay on her own, insisting that she needed to be there for her best friend.

"Do you still hope for Ezra to come home?", she asked and Aria turned her head away, clearly not liking the direction in which this conversation was going to.

"Sometimes.", she finally admitted, and it almost broke Alex's heart to see her this upset. Almost.

"I just wish I got an explanation, you know? It's not like Ezra to just leave town without a word."

Maybe she should have tried harder to get Ezra to call Aria, Alex thought. She would try again in the morning when it was time to feed them.

"You know, I am never going to leave you, you know?", she said and Aria nodded.

"Come here." She longed to touch her again and when Aria was finally back in her arms, she couldn't help but grin. Softly she stroked the shorter girls hair, lulling Aria into her.

"I love you, Aria.", she spoke softly and when she didn't receive a response she grew worried, only to find Aria soundly asleep in her embrace. She could definitely get used to this.

"Sleep tight, love. I feel like this is the start of something beautiful."

…

Aria stirred in her sleep. Slowly she opened her eyes, and found herself in the arms of her best friend. She was more than glad that she had Spencer to help her through this, and she couldn't thank her more for being there for her and making sure she was not losing it.

She felt Spencer move. Her hand reaching up to hold Aria's and she wondered what her friend was dreaming about. Seeing her breathing in and out, faster than usual, she tightened her grip on her friend's hand, afraid she might be having some of those nightmares that had started way back, when they all had escaped the dollhouse. "I'm here, Spence.", she whispered. "I'm here." She trailed a finger over her hand then, making small circles in order to calm down the sleeping girl beside her. "Alex.", she heard Spencer whisper then and Aria squeezed her eyes for a moment, trying to think of why Spencer would say her ex-boyfriend's name from years ago. "It's Alex, Aria.", she heard her say and Aria tried to make sense of the mumbling that could be heard in the quite room. Alex? Who was Alex? And what did he do that Spencer felt the need to tell her? Was Alex someone who had hurt her? Was that why she seemed so troubled? Tiredness overtook Aria, as she tried to figure out who this Alex guy was and what he had possible done to Spencer. Realizing she wouldn't get any more answers that night and not wanting to wake Spencer, she made a self notice to ask Spencer in the morning and drew her in closer to her, hoping to calm down her best friend, before falling into a deep sleep herself.

…

When Aria woke up later that day, she was surprised when she saw the empty space beside her. It was only seven in the morning, and while Spencer was definitely a morning person, Aria still thought it was weird that she had left so early. There went the plan to ask her about this _Alex_ guy, she thought. Even though she promised Spencer, she would stop looking something told her to keep trying to figure out where Ezra went to. She couldn't shake off the feeling that something wasn't right. Caleb had tracked Ezra's credit cards, and he hadn't used them at all and his car was still parked at the Radley. It seemed like Ezra had just vanished in front of her without so much as a trace or explanation and Aria wouldn't accept it. She couldn't. Her heart still longed for him, even though she was reminded by Spencer everyday that he wasn't worth. She just couldn't help it.

She checked her phone and when she saw that the only new messages she got were from Emily and Hanna checking on her, she sighed and placed it back down on the kitchen counter and went to prepare herself something to eat.

…

"You have to be convincing, though.", Alex demanded and handed a phone over to Ezra, whose legs and left hand were tied up to a chair. Alex was done playing games.

She needed Aria to believe that Ezra wouldn't want anything to do with her anymore. She had finally convinced Ezra to send Aria a message, well more like threatened him, but for Alex it was the same thing. First, she had threatened to kill Ezra, pointing her gun directly to his forehead, when Spencer had shouted out to Ezra that Aria couldn't lose him and that she wouldn't want him to die. She brought up the time when Ezra stood in front of the girls, sacrificing himself on that roof and what that had done to Aria. Ezra hesitated then, but Alex could tell how hard it was to agree to Alex's terms, so Alex had slowly walked into Spencer's cell then, pointing the gun to her head instead and grinning to Ezra. "I know I said she was family, but could you live with the guilt of being responsible for Aria's best friend to be killed off?" Alex noticed how scared Spencer looked in that moment and something must have snapped inside Ezra because he hung his head in defeat and asked for a phone. In the corner of her eyes, Alex could see how Spencer let out a sigh of relief.

"What do I say?", Ezra asked, sounding astonishing professional and Alex couldn't help but feel a little bit proud.

"Tell her that you left the country. That you couldn't face her after she kept that secret of her not being able to have kids. That you thought about it and that the idea of having your own children is just too important to you, and you didn't know how to leave her." Alex's mind wandered briefly, when she tried to imagine Aria listening to Ezra tell her these exact words. In the back of her mind, she hoped for Aria to call her, so she could go over and make sure she was okay. She did care. Maybe she cared a little too much.

From across the room she could make out Spencer shaking her head and what seemed like whipping away a few tears.

"Are you seriously crying over this?" Alex asked sarcastically and let out a laugh.

"You don't know her. You don't know Aria. She is not just gonna be upset, she is gonna be devastated. I know Aria. She isn't going to just listen to these words and move on."

"What are you saying?"

"I just hope she won't hurt herself, that's all." Spencer's words were mumbled and Alex knew Spencer let out these words rather to herself than responding to her question. Alex looked conflicted. She did love Aria. And the thought that she would -

"Let me just tell her that I need time.", Ezra interrupted her thoughts and Alex turned to him, letting him continue. "I know this is not what you want, but I know you care about Aria, so please."

Alex let out a frustrated scream. "Shut up! Shut the fuck up! Both of you! Bloody hell!", she cried, wiggling around the gun that was still shaking in her hand. After what seemed like minutes, she finally turned to Ezra. "Just do it! Just tell her you're not coming home."

Ezra nodded, clearly shaking, before dialing Aria's phone number and holding it to his ear.

"I want to hear her voice.", Alex said. "Put her on speaker. Now." She was becoming tired of this whole shit. Sometimes she thought it would be better to just kill them off like she did with Wren.

"Hello?", a soft voice answered after a few rings and Aria's voiced filled the room. For a moment the cold room filled with silence.


	3. Realizations

**Hey you guys!**

I just finished another chapter! I am having all these ideas, and actually time to write something, so here you go..

And thank you for your kind words! Reviews are always appreciated!

…

A while after Alex had left their "dungeon", Spencer was left with her own thoughts again. Aria's whimpering was memorized in her mind and she felt like she was the one to blame for all the heartbreak her tiny friend went through. She wished she could find a way out and save Aria from Alex's twisted games. She desperately hoped that she, or Hanna, Emily or Alison would pick up on the fact that it wasn't really her that sat next to them when they would go out for a drink. She missed her friends, she missed her mum and she missed Toby, too. She had become so worried about Aria that he barely entered her mind, but she was glad he was safe. She didn't really know what he was up to though. Wouldn't Toby try to talk to her? Why had Alex never mentioned him? She decided to ask Alex when she came back, unsure if she would even get an answer. Truth be told, Spencer's main focus was still on Aria. Her words and cries haunted her and there was no way she would fall asleep. _"Please, Ezra. Don't do this. I know we can make this work. Please"_ Her words repeatedly went through her head, like an old broken record. Seeing Ezra suffer and Alex smiling wickedly, didn't help much.

"Aria.", she let out a whisper into the dark, as if she could her. "Please find us. Please."

…

She didn't call anyone because she wanted to be alone. She thought about calling Spencer, but it would just confirm that she was right and she couldn't handle this right now. She knew Spencer would want to help her in a situation like this, but she didn't want to talk about any of it. She wanted to pretend that that phone call never happened. Was it just the day before that she had told Spencer she just wanted an explanation? And now that she got one? Did she feel relieved, better even? The answer was a fucking clear: Hell no.

A loud knock on the door interrupted her train of thoughts. She didn't move at first. Not wanting company, but when the knocking continued, she slowly got out of bed and looked through the peephole. She saw Hanna standing outside, a sports bag around her shoulder and she seemed like she had been crying. God, now she had no choice but to open up, Aria thought.

"Hanna?", Aria questioned when she opened up the door, and her blonde friend sniffled in response, entering the apartment without much as an invitation.

"Can I stay here tonight?", she whispered and Aria caught up on her tear strained face.

"Of course!" Her walls and anger diminishing slowly at the sight of her and she stepped forward to hug her close.

"What happened?", Aria dared to ask, when she leaned back and Hanna shook her head.

"Can I tell you when we're tucked up in bed?", she let out and Aria nodded, helping her change through her sobs and tucking her up into her bed like a child. She got under the covers herself and brought her close.

"What happened?", Aria asked again. Somehow this helped. Taking care of Hanna made her forget the terrible day she had herself – and she finally felt like she wasn't useless anymore.

"Caleb and I we...", she stopped, tears continuing to stream down her face and Aria kindly wiped some of them away.

"Hey, you can tell me when you're ready, alright? No rush." Her friends have been there for her through it all. It was time that she did the same.

"I'm sorry I bothered you, Aria. I know you're dealing with your own stuff, but Emily and Alison have this date night planned and Spencer didn't pick up, so I..."

"You can always call me.", Aria interrupted and smiled at Hanna.

"Thank you.", the blonde spoke and leaned closer to Aria.

"Caleb and I are trying to get pregnant."

The words hang in the air for a moment, and it was almost like someone had punched all the air out of Aria's lungs.

Seeing the look on Aria's face, Hanna was probably feeling guilty, because she apologized immediately.

"God, Aria! I'm so sorry, I - "

"It's okay, Han.", she whispered and tried to give her a reassuring smile. "Continue."

"The whole thing with Mona is just driving him mad and now this whole pregnancy thing is just exhausting. We fight all the time. I needed to get out of there, and I didn't want to kick him out because I don't know where he could go, so I came here. I should have called."

"No.", Aria was glad Hanna was there with her. She might not have called any of her friends, but somehow she was glad that she didn't had to spend the night alone. Her mind wandered to Spencer. She wondered why she hadn't texted or called her. She was so insistent to stay at her apartment and look after her that Aria almost felt disappointed how quickly Spencer had forgotten about her. She wondered if she was with Toby, but even then she could've texted her, right? The whole day just took out every energy she had.

"Should we try to get some sleep? You can stay here as long as you want, but let's get some rest and we'll talk tomorrow ok?", even though Aria knew that sleep was hard to come, she was too exhausted to keep this conversation going.

"Okay. Thank you, Aria. Good night."

"Good night, Han. Everything is going to work out for you, I promise." Because as much as Aria wanted herself to be happy, her friends being happy was just as important to her, if not more.

…

Alex tiptoed through the dark, careful not to trip over. When she reached Aria's bedroom, she hesitated for a moment, unsure of what she would find behind those doors. She could still hear Aria screaming and her cries seemed to never end. She had been crying for Ezra to come back, pleading with him to work on their relationship and by the look on Ezra's face, he almost gave him. However, ultimately he went through with Alex's plan and that might just saved him his life.

Still, Alex couldn't help but feel nervous when she thought of Aria. She hoped that she was at least breathing.

The door cracked softly, not to loud to wake her though, but it was too dark for Alex to see Aria. She approached her bed quietly and looked confused when she found arms draped around Aria's waist and a blonde head leaning onto her shoulder. It looked like Hanna. A pang of jealousy went through her and she kind of wanted to stab the blonde bitch next to Aria. What was she doing here?, she asked herself. Had Aria called her after what happened with Ezra? Why would Aria call Hanna? Alex thought Spencer and Aria were the closest, and after the night before, she was sure she had a special connection to the girl. She stood there confused, eyes focused on Hanna, when suddenly she heard her sister's name.

"Spencer?" Shit. Alex thought. Aria must have woken up and now all Alex could do was stand there dumfounded for a moment before she came up with an explanation.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to check on you. I forgot my phone at the Lost Woods when I checked on the horses and I was quite busy, but I didn't want you to stay here alone." She hoped Aria would buy that but when saw Aria nodding she knew she had.

She looked at Aria carefully detangling herself from Hanna, and standing up beside her.  
"Let's talk in the living room. I don't want to wake Hanna.", she whispered and Alex nodded.

"Everything okay?", Alex asked, still very confused why Hanna was at Aria's apartment.

"Hanna had a fight with Caleb. She said she called, but you didn't pick up. Makes sense if your phone was at the Lost Woods."

Alex almost chuckled at how well her story had played out and just nodded her headed.

"Oh. So, how are you holding up then?", she wondered if Aria was going to tell her about the phone call with Aria. Had she told Hanna?

"I – not good." Aria turned away from her again and she didn't like it.

"I'm sorry.", Alex tried, hoping she wouldn't have to dig further into the matter and that Aria would just tell her what happened tonight.

The girls sat in silence for a moment, before Alex was surprised to hear Aria's voice fill the room.

"Can I ask you something, Spence?" Alex nodded, uncertain and a little nervous about what was to come.

"When you stayed over, last night, you, you said something in your sleep." Alex's eyes grew wide. What had she said? Did Aria know? No, she wouldn't call her Spencer if she knew, right? Right?

"What did I say?", she didn't even care if she sounded confused at that point, she just hoped she could still pull off the American accent.

"You said something about an Alex? Like, "Aria, it's Alex", and I just wanted to know who it was because obviously you were scared and I think you were having some nightmare. Do you remember your dream? Or can you tell me who this Alex guy is?"

If it wasn't for Alex to sit on Aria's couch she was sure she would've fainted. How could she have slipped that during her sleep? Thank god, Aria assumed it was about some boy.

"I honestly don't know, Aria.", she tried. "I think this whole week has made my mind go crazy, too." She chuckled then, trying to get Aria to change the subject.

"Yeah, mine, too.", Aria let out. "Should we go back to bed? I'm pretty tired."

No! She wanted to shout. You still haven't told me about that phone call! But she couldn't add more damage to the situation. She knew this whole _Alex_ thing was confusing enough. So Alex nodded and the two of them made their way to the bed and got in. Alex was still afraid she would say something in her sleep, but maybe she could just wait until Aria was deep asleep and then leave. She let out a sigh, and then noticed that Aria had turned to face Hanna though and Alex couldn't stand it anymore. She waited until she heard Aria's breathing pattern found a rhythm, and turned the sleeping girl into her, kissing her head and observing her while she breathed in and out.

…

Aria tried to stay still. She felt Spencer's arms tighten around her and lips pressed onto her forehead. It wasn't so much the gesture that startled her, but rather the way Spencer's hands seemed to press into her body. She and Spencer had always been close and sleeping in the same bed was never a problem. When one of them was having a hard day it was also normal for them to hold each other until the early hours, if they didn't fall asleep before that. However, somehow this felt different. The way Spencer's lips had moved on her skin, the way Spencer's arms hold her, was more demanding than ever. Almost like she tried to claim her. Maybe her mind did play tricks on her, Aria thought. She probably interpreted too much into all of it. However, she knew she couldn't get to sleep like this, so she hoped Spencer had already fallen asleep and reached for one of Spencer's hand that pressed into her thigh and removed it softly from her body. She felt relieved when she didn't feel her stir. However, the hand she was holding curled into her almost immediately and Spencer's fingers laced with Aria's. "Spencer?", Aria whispered, feeling a little uncomfortable, but not wanting to push away her friend. Nothing. "Spence?", she tried again, but she didn't receive an answer. Was she pretending to be asleep, too? She turned to Hanna slowly, but she was still asleep.

Aria let out a soft sigh. She didn't know why Spencer felt the need to be so clingy, but if that was what she needed, she couldn't help but be that for her. Someone to cling to. Aria felt a little guilty for not telling Spencer about Ezra, but she just needed time to process things on her own, she knew she would understand sooner or later.

When she felt Spencer move in her sleep, she traced Spencer's hand again to calm her down. Her fingers moving over Spencer's soft skin. Her skin was smooth and she could easily trace out her – Scar? But she couldn't. Why couldn't she feel the tiny scar that went just between her thumb and index finger? She took a deep breath. Running her fingers over Spencer's hand again, checking nervously if it was in fact her left hand she was touching. She moved her fingers, again, and again. But she couldn't feel the freaking scar Spencer got when they were just thirteen years old. When Alison convinced Spencer to try and pet Miss Harper's dog and in turn he had almost bitten off her hand. Aria laid in silence, not sure if she had lost her mind or the ability to feel with her fingers.

She had held her hands the night before, right? Did she come across a scar? She couldn't remember. She just couldn't remember. She was too deep into thinking about Ezra's whereabouts and now that she somehow got an explanation, she felt relieved, still heartbroken but relived – is that why she noticed the missing scar? Her mind was racing. Her heart pounding in her chest. She could hear the pounding in her head, too, silently hoping the girls next to her wouldn't notice.

Hours passed, or was it just minutes? Either way, Aria couldn't find sleep. Her racing mind was trying to stick the pieces together. After a life full of secrets, and torture, fear and A-Games, of locked boxes and Dollhouses, Aria didn't take any chances anymore. She knew the girl next to her not being real was as much a possibility as Noel Kahn's head rolling on some wooden floor. And guess what? Noel's head did roll. Aria felt movement beside her, and suddenly the girl next to her left her side and tiptoed slowly out of her bedroom. Where was she going? Should Aria go up and follow her? Should she confront her? Was there still a chance that it was Spencer? Hand her scar just healed over the course of the last year and Aria had never noticed? And if it really wasn't Spencer – Who the hell had just slept in her bed?

\- to be continued -

 **There you have it!** So Aria has become suspicious, now. The next chapter is going to explore how Aria is trying to figure out what is going on, but as she is smart she won't confront Alex just yet. I think it will be fun for Alex to think Aria still thinks its Spencer and Aria learning more about Alex and her trying to figure out a plan how to save Spencer and Ezra. But what if that plan is just going to confuse her more and start some weird feelings? You will just have to find out, I guess!

 **Reviews and Feedback are very welcomed!**


	4. Whispering Scars

**Hey!** Thanks for all the feedback! Here comes chapter 4! I don't know how long this story will be, but I have still a lot of ideas, so hopefully this journey will last a little while.

The morning sun rose slowly, but Aria had not managed to sleep at all. She saw Hanna moving and was sure she would wake up any minute. Should she tell her about what she was thinking? Had Hanna talked to Spencer since the - since her being dumped at the alter? Or had Emily, or had Ali? If they didn't they would have said something though, right? What if they had noticed something was off with her, too? Would they tell her? Looking over at Hannah she sighed. She figured it would be better to keep it for herself at the moment. Maybe she could try to slip Spencer's name into some conversation in the morning and see Hanna's reaction. She still didn't know anything yet and the last hing she wanted was to bring her friends into some sort of danger. She needed to figure out if it was Spencer that paid her those nightly visits but at the same time she hoped she could do so without giving away that she knew something was off.

"Morning." Hanna's eyes squinted because of the bright light and Aria tried to give her a smile.

"Hey, you. Feeling better?" Hanna nodded, leaving the bed in one move and turned to Aria, while changing into her normal clothes.

"A little. Thanks for letting me stay, but I think I will have to face the madness at some point."

"You're leaving already?" Aria sat up in bed. She wanted to talk, she wanted to mention Spencer, so she could see Hanna's face and now it would just seem weird to talk about her.

"Yeah, I think I just want this to be over with. This whole fighting thing is driving me mad. We're still on for that brunch thing on Sunday with the girls though, right? ", Hanna zipped up her jacket and slung her bag over the shoulder.

Aria nodded lightly. "Okay, sure. Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"Will do." Hanna smiled and gave her a small wave, while Aria stayed motionless in bed, starring at the ceiling and thinking about what she should do next.

…

Spencer could tell Alex was pissed. The way the English girl moved and aggressively threw their plates with some slices of bread to her and Ezra gave it away. She thought about asking what was wrong. Somehow Spencer had given up on the fact that she would be out of this place soon. She was slowly losing hope that her friends and family would find out about Alex. She wished Aria would, but as the days passed she wasn't sure of anything anymore.

"Have you spoken to Toby?", she finally asked, she needed some answers and what was the point anyway? Spencer figured it couldn't really go worse than this.

"I don't give a fuck about Toby.", Alex ranted out and Spencer's lips closed. "Did you talk to Aria last night?", she asked then, feeling like she was pushing Alex's buttons but she wanted to know if her friend was at least physically okay.

"I spent the night with her again. I think she likes my hands. She couldn't stop touching them last night.", she grinned, but Spencer could sense a cold behind her shining eyes. Had Aria noticed something? Had she said something? Was that the reason Alex looked so angry? And what did she mean by Aria touching her?!

"How is she holding up, with Ezra?" Spencer glanced over to Ezra's cell. His shutter was down again, so he couldn't hear them and Spencer wondered if she could bring Alex to talk.

"Doing great. She didn't even talk about him at all.", Alex smiled widely again and Spencer furrowed her eyebrows for a moment, before nodding. She looked down on her slices of bread, picked one and took a bite. Even though she hated this place, she didn't want to starve to death. Spencer found it weird that Aria hadn't talked with Alex about it. It seemed off for Aria to not tell Spencer, but maybe she was just trying to deal with things on her own. She tried to think about what Alex had said. Why would she say Aria liked her hands, though? She looked down at her own hands for a moment, feeling Alex's eyes on her, when suddenly something inside of her snapped. She tried not to give away any emotion and stopped looking at her hands, picking up another slice of bread, waiting for Alex to be out of sight.

…

After feeding the two captives, Alex went up to the living room and let out a gutted sigh. She needed to talk to Aria. Everything was starting to get so much harder and more confusing. The more time she spent with Aria, the more difficult it seemed for her not to make any mistakes. She had to make sure Aria didn't suspect a thing. And she needed to talk to her about Ezra. It was time for Aria to move on. It was time for _them_ to move on. Together.

 _Hey, sorry I left last night. Emergency at the Lost Woods...Can I come over? I will bring coffee. – S_

She pressed send and hoped for Aria to answer soon. She was excited to spend time with her.

Alex was obsessed with her and she felt a pull towards Aria that seemed to be out of this world. Never had she imagined feeling so drawn to someone in her life and if she was honest with herself she was scared. The whole plan started off with going after Spencer and her friends for revenge, never had she pictured herself falling for one of them. But since she got Aria to work for her – she chose her back then because Cece had told her she was the closest to Spencer – she was fascinated by her. She was not only captivated by her beauty, but by her whole appearance and her strength. She loved strong women. Bloody hell, she was one herself.

 _Can we meet at the Brew? I'm in town. - Aria_

Alex smiled. Of course she would have preferred to go to Aria's place and try to make a move, but she was still joyful to see her. She was the one thing that was making her smile. Genuinely smile. And even though her dark soul longed for more twisted torture sometimes, all she really wanted was to have someone who loved her, a family.

 _Sure. Meet you in ten. - S_

…

Aria tried to stop the sweating of her hands as she sat in the crowded place. The Brew reminded her of Ezra but she tried to not let her thoughts go there and calmed herself down. Spencer – could she still call her that? - was going to be there any second and she couldn't show any doubtfulness. She had to act like everything was normal. Should she tell _Spencer_ about Ezra? Was it possible for _her_ to know something? Her thoughts were swirling again and a part of her wished she wasn't alone in all this. She was still debating telling Hanna, or even Emily and Ali, but she didn't want this to blow over, she needed to be as careful as possible.

"Hey, Aria." Spencer sat down at their table. Her lips turning into her slight smile and her caramel eyes shining. She looked 100% percent like her friend. She _embodied_ Spencer and a cold shiver ran down Aria's spine at the thought of it. What if she really was Spencer?

"Hey, Spence.", she smiled but when a waiter approached them, she sent the girl in front of her an apologetic look. "Do you mind if I go ahead and use the bathroom for a sec? Can you order for me, please?"

 _Spencer_ nodded quickly. "What do you want?"

"My usual.", Aria smiled and turned into the direction to the restrooms.

Once inside, she looked at her reflection in the mirror. Her coffee order was so complicated, not even Hanna or Emily usually remembered it. But Spencer did. She knew by heart. She let out a small sigh and joined _Spencer_ again.

They talked about small stuff, _Spencer_ told her about some problem at the Lost Woods and how she had to call a plumber because there was a leak in one of the restrooms and Aria told her that she had done some grocery shopping and almost ran into Jenna. The way _Spencer_ talked seemed so natural, so much like Spencer and for a brief moment Aria wondered if she imagined things.

"Hey ladies. I got your coffees. Dry soy cap, unsweetened, no foam?" Aria starred at the waiter for a second and then smiled at him, indicating it was hers. He placed the cup down and placed the other one in front of _Spencer_. She took a sip and inhaled the strong flavor, still a little surprised that she actually got her usual. There was no way this wasn't Spencer, was there?

"How are you feeling, today?" Spencer asked suddenly and Aria decided to jump in and tell her about Ezra.

"Ezra called.", she let out and she could see the surprised look on her _friend's_ face.

"He told me to stop calling, that he needed time. He left Rosewood and he is trying to build a new life at this new place. He isn't gonna come home any time soon. He seemed so cold. I don't know what to think...I just - " Aria's eyes closed briefly, and she felt tears building up in them. She squeezed her eyes tightly, forcing them to stay closed for a minute, trying to not let any tears fall.

She heard a sigh escape Spencer, and saw that she reached out her left hand for Aria to grasp. She did and she squeezed it in hers, but she still couldn't feel Spencer's scar and it freaked her out. Now that she was so aware of it, it was all she could think about.

"I'm really sorry, Aria. He is an idiot." She shook her head and tightened her grip on Aria's hand.

"He doesn't deserve you anyway. He's a fool for leaving you behind and disappearing to New York."

Aria nodded. "Yeah, you're right. Thank you.", she smiled and kept her hand in hers.

For a moment the two women looked into each others eyes, both smiling and holding hands. However, Aria just hoped that the other woman didn't notice the way her teeth clenched, the way her heart raced, or the way her hand gripped the coffee cup as tight as she could. She was now completely sure that this person in front of her was not her _friend_

Whether it was Spencer herself or some cheap copy of her, she knew it wasn't the girl that held a big place in her heart.

Because Aria had never mentioned anything about Ezra being in New York, but _she_ had.

And Aria swore to God she would find out what was going on.

…

As soon as Alex left, Spencer looked down at her hands and her eyes stayed locked on her left hand for what felt like eternity. She traced the tiny scar that ranged from her thumb to her index finger. If you looked at it, you could barely see it. But moving her fingers over it, you could clearly feel it. Her heart filled with hope, when she thought of Aria and what Alex had said about her own hands. She had said Aria couldn't stop touching them and while it would normally freak her out that Aria had obviously hold hands with the enemy, a part of her, a big part of her, hoped that Aria had figured out it wasn't Spencer's hand she had touched. She doubted Alex knew about her scar anyway and if Spencer was right, it meant that this was one thing that could tell them apart. Aria had held her hand millions of times, had caressed it with soft fingers to comfort her in dark moments and scary times, had squeezed it so tightly at times, Spencer thought it would come off. Aria was there the day she had gotten her stitches, not leaving her side when Spencer was brought to the hospital after that dog had bitten her, holding her other hand and whispering kind words when they rode in the ambulance. She had called Spencer's parents and had stayed with her the whole time until she was finally sent home. Aria knew about that scar. She knew. And Spencer had never had more hope since she had woken up in that wicked place. There was a part of her though that filled with worry. She knew her tiny friend was smart but she couldn't help but fear for her safety. She wished she knew what Aria was thinking. Wished she could know what she was trying to do, what she was planning. Hoping she was figuring something out. She wished she could tell her to be careful. She didn't like that she wasn't able to protect her, all she wanted was to keep her safe.

But mostly, she just wished to see her again, have her tiny arms comfort her and not let go. Feel her heartbeat close to hers and hear her laugh, her voice. Have her, and Hanna, and Emily, and Ali, all of them, enveloped in a group hug and being able to see all of her friends' beautiful faces. She needed to see Aria again. She _had_ to see her again.

"Aria,", she spoke to no one in particular.

"Be careful, please."

\- to be continued -

So that's it for now. I'm sure you will like the next chapter, things get a little more complicated then! :D

Feedback is welcomed!


	5. Fire and Heartbreak

I'm blown away with all the feedback and your kind words! Thank you so much! It's so much more fun to write if people appreciate your work. So thanks again, your words mean a lot to me!

So. This is a more of an Aria / Alex chapter where Aria tries to further figure out what's off with this new version of Spencer, overstepping some boundaries...

Enjoy!

Feedback and Reviews are like always very welcomed :)

...

"Do you want to come back to mine? We could watch a movie or something and order in Chinese later? I could use the company." Aria asked, a shy smile covering her lips, when inside she was fuming. But she needed that girl to trust her. And something told her this _Spencer_ wanted to spend with Aria. So what better way to get close to her?

"Sure.", she smiled and they paid for their drinks.

Once back at the apartment, Aria sat her purse down and plopped onto the couch with such an ease that she was almost feeling proud of herself for being so cool about this whole thing.

"What do you wanna watch?", she asked her visitor who had just taken off her boots and joined Aria on the couch.

"I don't mind. Whatever makes you forget about your awful day. I still can't believe he had the nerve to call you. If I was there with you, I would've given him some shit for doing this to you!"

Aria looked over. It was brutal how accurate the words came flying out of her mouth, how Spencer-like they were. It almost made her angry. What if this was Spencer? What if the scar was still there, but she just couldn't see or feel it because Spencer had had some weird procedure done that healed it during those weeks she was busy shooting the movie to her and Ezra's book? And if this was _really_ Spencer next to her, what was she up to? Why would she know that Ezra went to New York and why was she acting so weird lately? She would just have to wait and pretend everything was normal, she would get her answers soon enough, she had to.

"What about Mary Poppins? I love that movie.", Aria asked and the girl on the couch chuckled.

"Sure."

Aria put in the movie and picked up a blanket from the armchair covering them both. She really did love Mary Poppins and it annoyed her that she couldn't even pay attention to the movie. Her phone vibrated and she looked briefly at who was texting her.

 _Pam got the kids, so it's movie night at Em's and Ali's, wanna join? - H_

"Did Hanna text you, too?" Aria turned her eyes to meet the other girl's eyes. Shocked how close this form of Spencer had shifted to her.

"Yeah.", Aria answered her and the girl smiled softly. "Do you wanna go?"

Aria thought about it for a moment. Maybe this was her chance to get the girls on the same track, but at the same time she wondered if it was a good idea for them to spot something. Would they confront _Spencer_ without thinking about consequences if they noticed something was off? Would they just not notice and Aria would lose a big chance to get some answers? Maybe it was better if it was just her and _Spencer_ for that night, and when they met on Sunday, she could still observe all of the girl's interaction with this new side of their friend.

"I'm actually pretty tired and not in the mood to move. But go ahead if you want to." Aria hoped her plan wouldn't get crushed. She was unsure if _Spencer_ was going to get up any second to join their friends, but she didn't seem to move at all.

"I will just say I'm helping out my mum with some open cases." _Spencer_ smiled and Aria smiled back for a moment. "Okay." She tried to get comfortable again and sent Hanna a quick text that she couldn't come because she was feeling too tired and a little ill.

 _Okay, hope you feel better soon. Spencer isn't coming either. You're not ditching us, are you? - H_

Aria rolled her eyes. For Hanna being the last one to figure things out normally, she was annoyingly curious at that particular moment.

 _No. I just don't want you guys to get sick. I will text you tomorrow. Say hi to the girls. Xx – Ar_

She hoped Aria wouldn't bother anymore and she apologized quickly to _Spencer_ for stopping the movie. She pressed play again and adjusted the blanket, feeling a little cold. Maybe it was just the nerves, she thought.

"You okay?", she must have noticed the way Aria shifted under the blankets.

"Mhmm." Aria smiled, she could almost feel Spencer's breath on her neck. That was how close she was. A shiver ran down her spine and Aria figured it was because she still felt a little creeped out by this whole situation.

"You're shaking." Why was she so good at observing?, Aria thought annoyingly.

"Are you cold?" Aria shrugged her shoulders, not really answering, but soon felt arms move under the blanket beside her and wrap around her middle. The arms moved her so she was leaning into the other girl and she felt fingers draw small circles on her waist and soon her thighs as well.

This was definitely not the Spencer Hastings she had grown up with, Aria thought, having trouble breathing normally as the tingling sensation was not helping her concentrate.

The Spencer Hastings she knew was rather shy when being so close around someone, of course there incidents like Ian and Wren, but it was _them_ who had made the first move, never her, if it was? Was it? A first move? Was this – does she dare use the word _stranger_? - trying something? She kept her eyes focused on the TV, willing her heart to stop beating as if she had just run a marathon. The fingers didn't stop and Aria almost let out a squeal when she felt them touch her bare skin just beneath her shirt and a little above her jeans. She turned to the person sitting next to her then, wanting to say something. However, the second she turned to the brown haired girl, lips smashed onto hers and she couldn't move.

…

She was kissing Aria Montgomery. She was kissing her and Aria wasn't pushing back. Alex noticed that Aria had yet to kiss back, but just as Alex was about to draw her lips back, she felt Aria's arms snatch around her neck, drawing her closer. Alex couldn't believe that this was happening. She had dreamt about this moment for weeks now, but nothing could compare to the softness of Aria's lips on hers and her fingers running through her hair. She slowly slipped her tongue into Aria's mouth and their tongues danced for dominance, Aria gripping onto the hem of Spencer's shirt, and almost aggressively pushed her down onto the couch. She opened her eyes for a second, surprised when she saw Aria starring back at her, her eyes having changed from a bright green to a dark brown. She felt Aria pushing back slightly and she almost pulled her into her again, already missing the contact and feeling the distance between their bodies. "Spence?", Aria breathed out from above Alex, eyes still shining and it was like someone had just slapped Alex's face. Of course. Even though it was her plan to take over Spencer's life, it still hurt a little every time that name left Aria's lips. Especially now, when Alex had felt such a deep connection between the two of them. "You're beautiful.", Alex breathed out, letting emotions take over her mind. Aria smiled down at her, pecking her softly and smiling before connecting their lips again, this time more demanding and with a side of aggression Alex wouldn't have guessed coming from Aria. She liked it though. _Loved_ it, how Aria pulled on her hair and kissed her way down her neck. She was intoxicated with that woman and when Aria swirled her tongue over her shoulder blade, biting it softly, she let out the moan she was holding in since it started.

…

Aria continued to kiss the girl's lips, breaking contact only when it seemed necessary to breath. She had a feeling this girl was into her, and now that she was sure it wasn't Spencer who had initiated that heated make out session, she was even more determined to find out who this person was. She crossed out the idea of a mask, she would have noticed that for sure, but then there was only another explanation left and Aria wasn't really ready to give into it. She looked identical. It wasn't so much her hair or her body that Aria was so surprised about being exactly like Spencer's. It was the way her eyes shone with energy and the way the corners of her lips slightly lifted whenever she started into a smile. But now, having this woman so close to her, she could suddenly see all the differences. She continued to kiss her neck, but she noticed how the tiny mole on Spencer's cheekbone was missing, how the color of her eyes was a bit to dark to be the caramel eyes she had looked into so many times. And as she kissed the stranger's lips, she could feel how rough they felt against theirs – so different to Spencer's lips that felt like honey balm. To be honest with herself, the last one shouldn't probably count, because the last and only time she ever felt Spencer's lips on hers was at some party back in Washington, but she was sure these lips now weren't Spencer's anyway - and it was that thought that made it so hard to moan Spencer's name softly and pretend to kiss her best friend. It was not that the girl was a bad kisser. Quite the opposite. The way her hands ran up and down her back, her nails scratching it lightly and her kisses being filled with fire – Aria Montgomery had to admit she enjoyed this, but it still didn't take away the weirdness of it all. She had to focus, anyway. This was what was bringing her to her answers. This was what was hopefully leading her to Ezra, what could lead to the real Spencer.

The thought felt like a bucket of cold ice and she almost pushed away the girl that had meanwhile changed positions and was trailing kisses down her stomach now, pushing up Aria's shirt in the process and while she whimpered and moaned slightly, her eyes rolling almost to the back of her head, Aria suddenly realized what this meant. If it wasn't Spencer that was currently making her grip that brown hair with force, it meant that Spencer was out there. This new person had taken over for her and god knew where her best friend was at this exact moment if not – No! - she would feel it in her heart if something had happened to her. She was still alive. She had to be. She gripped deeper into the ball of hair that was spread out over her chest - Exhaustion taken over her.

…

"You're in a good mood.", Spencer observed and she suspiciously looked for any trace of emotion on Alex's face.

"You could say that.", she said and slipped a tray of food beneath the gap of the door.

"Enjoy." Spencer was surprised when she saw a tray with different kinds of cheese, some freshly baked buns, some fruit and a _coffee_ coming from under the door.

"What's this? Is this poisoned?" She didn't turn her eyes away from Alex. She didn't trust her, and while she was so hungry she would probably eat anything right now, she wasn't taking chances. This looked too suspicious to be true.

"Calm down. It's not poisoned. See?", she slipped her hand through the hole and grabbed a slice of an apple, plopping it into her mouth and pushing the tray further into the room for Spencer to actually reach it, as her left foot was still chained to the bed.

"Why?" Spencer wasn't going to leave it at just that. She needed to know what had happened.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you, love."

"Try me." She was done playing games with Alex. She wanted some answers.

"Well, I spent the night at Aria's again. But let's just say we weren't too focused on watching Mary Poppins." Spencer's blood drained from her face and she felt her chest tighten. It made her skin crawl to think about Alex's hands on Aria, Aria touching Alex – She felt like she was going to be sick. Shocked she gasped at Alex, lips parted in confusion. Just the night before she felt hope rising inside her, she thought Aria had figured out it wasn't Spencer who had spent those nights close to her. Unless – No! It couldn't be. Aria couldn't know about all of this. Spencer knew Aria loved Ezra and her too much to not do anything about it. She couldn't allow another thought like this enter her mind.

"Did you sleep with her?", Spencer's cold voice must have startled Alex because the girl tilted her head slightly, seemingly amused by Spencer's outburst.

"I asked you a question!", she demanded and thought about kicking the tray with the food for a second, but Spencer knew she would regret it later, when Alex was gone and the only noise that would be heard was her stomach gurgling.

"Well, I think we're waiting for the right time." Spencer was furious, but also a little bit revealed that Aria hadn't gone all the way with that monster. She couldn't help but think about the fact that Aria and Alex had in fact at least kissed, if that was what Alex was implying.

"But you kissed her? You kissed and you pretended to _me_?", her voice was smaller than she intended. Still feeling shocked and confused as to why Aria would kiss Alex back, kiss _her_ back.

"I wouldn't call it kissing, making out maybe?", she chuckled. She grew more serious. "And you know, you're not the only one who is not happy with this. I would rather have her call me Alex, no shit, but I am getting used to the name Spencer anyway, so it's alright." Spencer felt like she couldn't breath. Alex and Aria had made out? Aria had made out with her sister thinking it was in fact _her_? She didn't know what she should think of Aria wanting to kiss, to touch her. Those thoughts were buried under years of keeping the secret of the incident on that party ages ago. No way, would Spencer allow them to crawl back only to have them haunt her.

"Oh, and you were right by the way.", Alex interrupted Spencer's thoughts and she looked up again.

"About that little moan thing. It's adorable." she winked at Spencer and Spencer's eyes filled with tears as she looked at Alex leaving the underground.

It was then, when no one else could see her, that Spencer started crying. Her gut wrenching sobs filled the room and she was sure that even Ezra could hear her weeping all through the closed slide doors. Emotions that been bottled up since she got there finally found their way out and Spencer hugged her knees to her body, swaying back and forth while tears streamed down her face, resembling water cascading down from a waterfall. She and Ezra would never make it out of that place. Alex would finally win and take over her life. Her friends and family would be fooled, and she was left with the shallow of what was once her life. And above it all, Aria was going to be fooled the worst, played, by this new version of her who seemed to not stop at any point. How could Aria let her kiss her? How could she not have noticed the missing scar? How could Aria not know it weren't Spencer's lips that she felt on her body when it was Alex that kissed her? Had she forgotten the way Spencer had kissed Aria's soft skin, whispered into her ear how much she meant to her, how she kissed her earlobe and her nose playfully – feeling happy to experience something new with her best friend? She was aware that both of them had made a vow to never talk about it ever again, they had agreed that they didn't feel ashamed, that it was a nice experience but Aria had still clung to Ezra and Spencer herself had been still unsure what she was feeling for Toby at that point. She let her head fall back to the wall with a sigh. Alex was going to make Aria fall for her, she was going to make her hers and all Spencer could do was sit in this shitty place and have her mind wander to images she couldn't handle seeing. Her sobs had stopped, but silent tears continued to stream down her pale face. Her heart was aching in a way it never had before and her thoughts filled with memories of what was once her life. Her heart ached for Aria the most. She couldn't protect her tiny friend from the evil. And something inside her hurt even more knowing she had not only lost Aria as her best friend, but she had lost any chance there was for them as well. She realized how thoughts of Toby had slowly left her mind over time, and now all she could think about was Aria. Her delicate hands, her soft skin, her soul searching eyes. Alex would take everything from her, but taking away Aria somehow hurt more than anything else. It was then that Spencer lost all the hope she ever had and wondered if it had been less painful if she had died the night a bullet went through her body. She was right. Hope did breed eternal misery.

...

What do you guys think? Who do you think Aria should end up with? What did you think of Alex and Aria together (both kind of tricking the other) ?

 **Please leave some words. :)**


	6. Helping hands and Cursing words

Another chapter for guys! I love how most of you are Team Sparia, but there some strong Alex/Aria shippers as well!  
This chapter is going to be a little different, as it is not as dark as the ones before and focuses mainly on Aria. But is kinda necessary to build things up a little, as Aria is still overwhelmed with everything that is happening.

Enjoy!

…

Aria was not surprised when she woke up alone in her bed. She had figured that the mysterious girl wouldn't stay the night. She had never stayed before and while a part of Aria thought that she had left this time because of the previous events and her not wanting to face Aria, Aria also was sure that she hid something that she was trying not to expose. She closed her eyes for a bit, but opened them in an instant when she imagined the mysterious girl's lips on her hers and her hands travelling over her body. She shot up, throwing the covers off of her and ran a sweaty hand through her damp hair. She didn't know why she was feeling this way. This was a stranger, she was thinking about, who was probably behind a lot of shit and as Aria had learned throughout the years of games and torture, she was sure the girl was not innocent either. Hell, if this was really somebody else trying to trick her, the real Spencer was still outside. Aria needed to get her shit together and forget about the eyes, the lips, the hands – Stop! - she scowled herself. She had more important things to do than fantasize about a stranger. She sighed and went to take a shower – turning the water down a little, so that the cool water could free her mind.

After the shower, Aria got dressed, took some money out of her nightstand and snatched her purse from the hanger on the door, before exiting the apartment. She glanced at her phone, but didn't see any messages and she briefly wondered if the girl pretending to be Spencer would text or call her to talk about what had happened the night before.

With heavy thoughts she entered the door to the store, hoping she would be brave and strong enough to go through with her plan. After she got what she needed she left the small shop and pulled out her phone, dialed a number and waited for the person to pick up.

"Hello?", answered a surprised voice and Aria was relieved that it was still the same number.

"Hi, it's Aria.", she took a deep breath, knowing the person on the other line would be a little confused.

"Aria? What - ?", before her interlocutor could finish their sentence though, she interrupted the question.

"Listen. I need you to come to this address I'm going to tell you in a few seconds. I need you to meet me there. But I need you to come alone. No one can know about this, okay? Not Hanna, not Emily, not Ali. And do not try to call Spencer. It's important. I need you to promise not to tell anyone."

"Aria, I don't understand? What do you need me for? What's going on?"

"Please. I know this is confusing but I feel like you're the only one who can help me with this. It's for Spencer."

"Spencer? What has got Spencer to do with this? Is she okay?"

"Look. I cannot talk about this now. Please, please just believe me that this is important, okay?"

"I – Okay." Aria heard the other person let out a sigh and she breathed out in relief.

"Okay, do you've got a pen?"

…

"Aren't you going to eat that?", Ezra asked when looking at Spencer's full plate of food but Spencer didn't even look up when he heard his voice. Alex had pulled up the shutter in front of Ezra's cell for the first time in what felt like days and Spencer knew Ezra had the change in Spencer. A few days ago she had been tired, exhausted and angry but there was still hope in her heart that she would be out there some time soon. All that hope seemed to shatter the day before though, and all she could think about now was how she was probably going to have to stay in there this.

"Maybe.", she shrugged, not meeting his eyes. She couldn't tell him what happened. Ezra had been unknowing to almost everything. She hadn't really talked to him since the night he had to make that phone call and had only seen him once or twice when Alex was kind enough so he wouldn't go completely mad in his dark cell.

"We're not going to get out of here, huh?" His voice was a mixture of desperation and anger and all Spencer could do was shake her head. She felt the same desperation raging inside of her, and wished there was a button to end all of this.

"You know, what keeps me from losing my mind or going completely crazy ?", he asked, obviously trying to make conversation. Spencer shrugged, while letting her head rest on her knees.

"Aria. Knowing she is somewhat safe and not in this shit hole is the only thing that keeps me from losing it. Knowing she is alive is what makes me want to stay focused and sane."

Spencer suddenly bursted into a wave of laughter, unable to control the hysterical snickering coming out of her mouth. "Aria is not safe, Ezra! Alex is watching every step of her way! Waiting for the right moment to seduce her and transform her into someone none of us will know anymore! She is going to rip apart her heart, and break her soul! Aria is not freaking safe! _She_ is the target. She is going to _break_. And we're not going to be there to pick up the pieces! Alex will be. Alex will be there, and the Aria we once knew will never be the same again!" Her cries echoed through the room, startling Ezra, who sat down with his head in his hands and Spencer felt a tiny bit of guilt building up when she looked at his crumpled form. However, she was not helping by sugarcoating this. This was serious. Things weren't okay and the sooner they accepted that, the sooner they could try to let go.

…

Alex was still in a daze about what had happened the night before when she was making her way downstairs again. The way Aria's body moved in sync with her own and the look she gave her when they parted – it was all Alex could think about. She hoped Aria wasn't freaked out but when they kissed, she didn't feel like Aria was pushing back. Hopefully, though, it wasn't just Aria trying to forget Ezra and using her as a rebound, but she had a feeling that Aria had liked the way she dominated their kisses and whispered sweet nothings into her ear. She still could feel the small woman shivering against her, and she knew it had been a genuine reaction. As soon as she got things done in the underground, she would call Aria to have her talk about their night and hopefully things would go further with them. She could hear the whispering voice somewhere inside her head telling her that it was in fact _Spencer_ that Aria seemed to like kissing. That Aria would be falling for _Spencer_ , her best friend who she had known for years instead of Alex, but Alex hoped that somewhere down the road, when they would be in a happy place where nothing could take them apart, Alex would perhaps tell Aria all of it. And because of years that would have had passed, and milestones that would have been made – Aria would forgive her and she could be with the love of her life for the rest of _theirs_. But then again, she kind of liked to be _Spencer_ , so maybe she wouldn't tell her at all.

"What's wrong with you two?", Alex asked when she noticed the tense atmosphere and her gaze shifted from Spencer's to Ezra's and back to Spencer's.

"I serve you the best food in town, which is outstanding by the way, and all you two ungrateful dickheads do is starring into space. You really are weirdos, you American folk."

She saw Spencer still focusing on the white wall in front of her, her back turned to her twin sister and her head dropped slightly.

"Are you alright, darling? Do you need me to go in there?", her tone was light and if you didn't know it better you wouldn't think of it being only a sarcastic comment.

"Don't.", she heard Spencer's firm voice and Alex wondered what made her so pissed off but guessed it was still the fact she got Aria to make out with her the night before.

"I think we need a little privacy here. See you soon, Ezra.", she chuckled and Ezra's shutter rolled down. She noticed that he didn't even fight it anymore and looked at Spender again.

"You know, I could really use your advice on this one. Sisterly advice, I mean." Spencer still hadn't acknowledged her but she continued anyway.

"I was thinking about wearing that gorgeous strapless black dress you have? Aria would like that outfit, wouldn't she? And since you don't really own too much lingerie, I thought about getting some new one. Which color do you think she would prefer? Classic? Like Black? Or something more seducing - like red maybe? I could always go with - "

"Stop!", Spencer screamed at her, having covered her ears, still not facing Alex.

"You're a mean sister you know. No wonder Cece and Melissa never really loved you. You're just a little spoiled, selfish brat, aren't you?"

When Spencer still didn't make an attempt to say something, Alex got frustrated. She hated when people ignored her. It was driving her crazy.

"Talk to me!" Her voice harsh and she pulled out her control pad, when Spencer remained silent. For the first time in days she wanted to punish Spencer for being such an ungrateful bitch. She had treated her well, had made her stay pleasant - but Spencer didn't worship it one bit and Alex grew tired of it.

"No food, no drinks, no light - for one Day. 24 hours. You've got no one else to blame this on than yourself. See you tomorrow - and I expect you to be a lot more responsive by then!"

She pressed a few buttons and the shutter covered Spencer's cell, the lights went off as well and Alex left the dungeon, Spencer still hadn't moved a limp or spoken a word.

...

"So why did you want me to meet you here?", questioned the person who sat in front of Aria. The park was empty and Aria hoped that there wasn't anyone spying on them. Ever since the dollhouse she and the others had grown a little more paranoid than normal, but then again they had every right to. Still, being out of Rosewood felt a little more safe.

"I had to make sure no one saw us. I think there is something going on. Something big. But I can't deal with it on my own anymore and I promised myself not tu hurt the girls ever again. I am not going to be responsible for any more damage and if I am right about this, I don't want them involved. Things have finally calmed down and I don't need for it to escalate again."

"Aria, I know you're going through some weird stuff right now but talking with cryptic words is not gonna help. I need you to tell me what's wrong, so I can actually help you out."

It was true. She needed to explain what was happening. But how could you explain something not even you could understand?

"I know. I am sorry. It's just. This is big. And I don't know how to say it."

"Are you pregnant?"

Aria's eyes widened and she rolled her eyes. She felt a tiny sprang on her heart, hearing those words. Did they not know that she couldn't ...?

"No! I'm not pregnant! Why would I hide being pregnant from my friends?", she was a little bit surprised by her outburst herself.

"I just thought - with you and Ezra and him not showing up at - forget what I said. See? That's why you should start talking."

"I don't think Spencer is Spencer."

It was all she said for a long time and confusion took over the other person's face.

"Is this some sick joke?"

"No, it's not a joke! I am serious right now! Look. Spencer has this scar. We were kids and she got it when this dog bit her and it's tiny but you can feel it if you know it's there and the other night when I was comforting what I thought was Spencer there was no scar."

"A scar?", the other person let out, seeming skeptical as though being confused to not have known about it. "Well, if it's so tiny maybe you just couldn't feel it?" Even though she wanted to roll her eyes again, it calmed her nerves that her words weren't being ignored and that she was actually listened to. It helped her deal with this a little better and made her realize she chose the right person for this.

"Trust me, please. It's not Spencer. It's not.", she let out a frustrated sigh and was close to a break down, when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"I believe you. I believe you, okay? Just calm down a little, please."

Aria nodded firmly, blinking a few times and tried to hold it together. "Okay. I'm fine. Promise."

"Good.", the other person nodded. "Now, tell me what I need to do."

…

So, who do you think this person is that Aria has reached out? Thoughts/Guesses are welcomed.

Next chapter is going to focus on the plan how to trick Alex so Aria can get some answers, but will it work?

Don't forget to leave some words. Much love.


	7. Undercover

Hey again! :) Chapter 7 is here! So some people got it right, I thought about including Toby – but I thought this one was a better fit for this and I really liked his character on PLL (before season 6 and 7 that is), however Toby might just pop up in some chapters later on :)

Anyway, Enjoy! :)

…

"Listen, do you think that all this stuff is really necessary?"

"Caleb, please. Just trust me with this, okay?", Aria pleaded.

"God, Aria. If Hanna finds out about this, it's going to be brutal! I told her no more secrets! Why couldn't you have just asked Toby?", Aria had a feeling Caleb didn't really mean it but it still stung a little.

"I don't know. I guess it felt weird since I haven't talked to him in like forever, maybe?! Plus, you know this stuff better than anyone.", with that said her gaze moved to the surveillance equipment and the computer that had a dozen of open files up. Her plan of exposing this mysterious girl had to go smoothly, if she wanted a chance to find out where her best friend really was.

"Well, Toby could have definitely gotten those handcuffs a lot easier, and getting these wasn't as easy as it may seem, either. This plan better work." Caleb grumped with a small grin and handed Aria a few pairs of handcuffs and what looked like a bottle filled with little pills, as well as some small surveillance cameras that were no bigger than a penny.

"I hope you know what you're doing."

"I am. I have to try. And if this is going to lead me to Spencer, and Ezra, eventually, this will be worth it. That girl knows something." Aria grabbed her bag from the floor, stuffed the things Caleb had given her inside and took her keys.

"Alright. Call me when you get things done and I will drive right to your place, okay?" Aria nodded, feeling nervous all of the sudden and a little scared as she fumbled with her phone in her hands, a message, that she had received just moments earlier, still showing up on her home screen.

 _I agree that we need to talk, but please don't worry. I will be there around 7. See you soon. x - S_

"Aria? Come on, it's already 6.15, you have to get going if you want to be ready to face her." Caleb's voice had softened and Aria turned to leave the apartment.

"You're right. See you latter then."

"Wait!", he called out before she was out of the door and she turned slightly.

"Be careful, okay? Please." She nodded with a smile and left the room.

...

It was still dark and Spencer felt the exhaustion heavily on her whole self. For a moment a thought of regret crossed her and she imagined herself eating the French cheese and the scrambled eggs. Her body shook with tiredness and hunger and her throat felt dry. She wasn't even sure how much time had passed as she could not even see her own hands in the dark. She barely slept and when she woke up to the darkness she felt trapped all over again. It was true what people said, how darkness had a silly way of making you feel powerless and lonely - how it could drive you insane. Spencer was already freaked out by her pitch black surroundings and she had long ago given up on counting the seconds she has spent without a dim of light. Being alone, only having her own mind to distract her from the fear of the unknowing, Spencer let her thoughts wander to places again that were supposed to be hidden far in the back of her head, and that were dangerously close to coming through the surface. She let thoughts of Aria cloud her aching mind and the imagination of her face surround her. She pictured Aria being there with her, holding her and keeping her from breaking fully. She had always thought Toby Cavanaugh was her place to land, her safe haven, but she questioned if it was ever true. It was not that he didn't was there for her or tried to pick up her broken soul when she felt overwhelmed with everything that was happening around her. It was more that tiny voice back in her mind telling her that while Toby had been there for her, so had been Aria but somehow she had never worshiped it enough. She had taken her humble friend for granted, convinced that she would be there - always.

And now that she did know. Now that she realized that Aria has helped her through so much of it all, without even realizing it, she felt terrified when she thought of possibly losing her forever.

...

 _Can we talk about last night? Do you want to come over? - Ar_

Alex smiled and typed in a response quickly. She was excited to see Aria again and she hoped that she and her would would take their relationship to the next level, somewhere deeper than friendship. She debated to let Spencer have a drink for the special occasion but decided against it as she needed for Spencer to understand what would happen if she didn't obey to her rules. Sometimes she got tired of the secretes, and wanted nothing more than to live a happy life with Aria. The thought about putting an end to all of this with two single gun shots, to each head, had entered her mind more than once - the only thing preventing her from doing it being the image of Aria's devastated and tear strained face if she would ever find out.

She looked around Spencer's wardrobe, deciding what to wear and a vicious smile grazed her lips when she looked at the red laced bra and a matching thong that were reflecting through the mirror. Pleased with herself she threw on a nice black shirt of Spencer's and a pair of skinny jeans. She figured a dress was too much, and she didn't want to confuse Aria, as Alex had to keep up with her facade. She put on some more make up and felt ready to conquer Aria Montgomery's heart.

…

Aria heard the door bell ring and prepared herself for what was to come. She shifted in her tight jeans and smoothed out her strapless top. She knew her plan had to work out and she tried not to think of what would happen if she failed. She pictured the real Spencer cheering her on, and thought of seeing her face again. That alone, made her brave enough to open the door.

"Aria.", the girl beamed and Aria smirked inside, knowing she was right to put on something more classy than her pajamas.

"Hey.", she smiled and stepped shyly to the side to let her pass and come inside.

"Do you want a drink?", Aria offered and received a nod. "Sure." Aria smiled, disappearing into the kitchen and coming back with two glasses of iced tea.

"So?", both Aria and the girl started and once again she was shocked how much she behaved like Spencer. Aria and Spencer had always been in sync, but sharing this with someone who only _looked_ like her friend was scary.

"I don't know what to say.", and Aria did mean it. She didn't know what was going on and while she tried to forget about the night, images still popped up before her eyes and she felt nervous talking about it with this mysterious person.

"I want you to know that I don't regret this. Any of it." Aria looked up then, and the girls eyes shone with what Aria could only place as honesty. How could those eyes sparkle and shine and light up the room, when Aria knew that behind them lay a secret so dark her and her friends weren't prepared for.

"I don't either.", Aria let out, following her plan.

Silence took over, until the other girl spoke once more.

"Can I ask you a question?" She seemed nervous and bit her lip and Aria almost thought it was cute, before she pushed those thoughts out of her mind.

"Of course, Spence." Never had Spencer's name left such a sour taste in her mouth before, but she needed to play by her own rules. _Don't get caught, Aria._

Spencer's double scooted closer then, brushing a hand lightly over Aria's cheek, and Aria's eyes instinctively closed.

"Can I kiss you again?", and her voice sounded so soft, Aria might have just said yes on any other occasion as well.

"Yes.", she breathed out and felt anticipation build up inside her. She knew she shouldn't feel this way. Her body just took over her mind and she couldn't do anything to stop it. In her head a small voice tried to tell to focus, told her that she was only supposed to pretend that she wanted this. But as soon as lips claimed her own, she let her hands find their way around the other girl's neck and she tightened her grip, needing to feel closer. She knew _wanting_ this was wrong on so many levels. She knew. And yet, somehow, this felt good. It might had not felt _right,_ but it did make her feel extremely turned on, and a small part of her hated that.

"Aria.", she heard her name being called and pushed back, only slightly, so she could see into the other girl's eyes. They weren't Spencer's eyes she trusted in with everything in her - unconditionally, but they still held a fire that Aria had never seen before. Bringing herself back to reality, she tried to compose herself and started playing along again.

"Spence.", the words still leaving a weird taste in her mouth, but it made her remember her _best friend_ that was currently missing and this girl seemed to be the only key to some answers.

"I like you." To say she was surprised to hear those words would be a lie. She figured it would lead up to something like this, to be honest with herself, Aria had a feeling this girl would play with _her_ in a similar way she played too. However, what made Aria look up into the girl's eyes and made her lips part slightly, was the sincerity behind those words. Aria had always been kind of good at reading people. She was the best liar of their little group, even her friends thought so, so it was easier for her to spot someone who was not telling the truth. But Aria couldn't find anything else than pure honesty behind the girl's words and she wasn't sure why this affected her, but it did.

"I like you, too.", she didn't say Spencer's name then. As it didn't seem right to bring her into all of this. This right there, was a battle between Aria and this girl, and at the same time, she felt like Spencer didn't belong into this moment. Just this one time.

"I am sorry, Aria. To have made a move on you like this, so bold, when I know you're still healing over what Ezra did and I just – I understand if - ", Aria cut her off, pressing her lips lightly agains hers and set in for a slow kiss. So slow, it drove her almost mad. This was different than any other kisses she had shared with her. This was Aria giving herself away more than she should, this was her letting herself fall, and by the time she realized that, it was already too late.

…

It drove Alex crazy how delicately Aria's lips moved in sync with hers, how her touches were small and caring. In this moment she let everything around her go blank. Alex forgot about her shitty past, about her bickering twin sister and about Ezra. She let herself fall into a state of passion, something she had never knew could feel so _right_. She let her fingers caress Aria's face, her body, softly, as to not breaking her small frame, and it surprised her that the urge to be aggressive and bold had left her completely. Alex thought about the times she had been with those English boys from school, the times she had let boys kiss her in bathroom stalls in dirty pubs in London, the times she had been with Wren and thought that she was in love. This was different. She didn't want to rush this. She didn't want for this to be over. _Ever._ So when she softly brushed her hands over Aria's shirt, stopping at the bottom of it, and slowly, as to ask permission, let her cool hands slip under Aria's shirt and feel her hot skin, she kissed the small girl's cheek in a caring way and only continued when she felt Aria nod against her shoulder, her lips gracing her neck.

"You're so beautiful.", Alex mumbled when she pulled up Aria's shirt with ease and she planted soft kisses on Aria's stomach, feeling Aria's hands in her hair.

"Please.", she heard Aria whisper. And that was all that Alex needed as she continued to plant kisses on Aria's skin, making her way down her body, before given in completely.

…

Aria's head clouded with a million thoughts that were running through her mind. She enjoyed the kisses, the touch, but as the girl reached for her jeans, pulling them down, and gracing her fingers over Aria's underwear, she knew she had to stop this before things got out of hand. It was not that she didn't wonder what would happen if she let things go to far, and a tiny part of her – a part she felt almost ashamed of – did want to find out. But she couldn't do that. She couldn't do this to Ezra, and she couldn't to this to her best friend. This girl had taken over Spencer's life, and if Aria let herself give in and sleep with her, she knew she would never forgive herself if this girl had in fact hurt her friend. She tried not to think about what condition Spencer might be in, and grabbed the girl's hand, that was slowly pushing down Aria's underwear, in her own.

"Spence", she called out, nervous and a little scared the girl would just leave Aria alone and her plan would burn into ashes.

"Aria?", her voice was soft though and it gave Aria the courage to speak out her next words.

"Can we just – please? I don't know if I am ready for this. I'm sorry if I -", her sentence was silenced with a peck on her lips and she felt the other girl's hand leave her lower half of her body and instead she felt that same hand caressing her cheek tenderly.

"Of course.", the other girl smiled and kissed Aria's cheek. Aria placed her own hand over the one on her cheek and she gave her a thankful look.

"Do you want to sleep?", she heard the other girl say and Aria nodded.

"Yeah. But I do want some water before that.", she was glad that her voice did sound a little raspy and she heard the girl chuckle.

"Okay. I will get you some.", she felt another kiss being dropped on her lips, but just as the girl made a move to get out of bed, Aria flipped them over, kissing the girl beneath her slightly and moving a hand to tuck a strand of hair behind the girl's ear. "No. I will get it.", she planted another kiss on the girl's cheek. "You relax, okay? You want some water, too, Spence?", she got up and turned and the girl smiled. "Yes, please. But hurry. It's cold when you're not in here." Aria let out a genuine laugh at that and nodded, making her way into the kitchen.

She took out two glasses out of the cupboard, filling them both with water. Then she looked around, as to be sure no one saw her, and opened a kitchen drawer, taking out the bottle of pills Caleb had given her earlier that day, and plopping two pills into the palm of her hands. She held the pills for a moment, looking down at them and sighing when she let them hesitatingly sink into one of the glasses. She felt something heavy in her heart at the thought of giving them to the girl that was currently lying in her bed, but she swore to herself not to back out of this. She reminded herself of Ezra's smile and Spencer's face and gripped the glasses tightly, making her way into the bedroom again.

"There you are. I missed you.", she felt warm for a moment, leaning down and kissing the girl's hair, handing her the glass that was in her left hand.

"I'm here, silly.", Aria said and sat down on the bed. Both girls drank the cold water, feeling relaxed as their dry mouths came in contact with the cooling drink.

Aria settled into bed, drawing the girl next to her a little closer and adjusted the blanket so they were both tucked in.

"I'm sleepy", she heard her small voice and Aria smiled. She knew the pills had started to make an effect and she hoped Caleb was right and that she would be out for some time, that she would wake up only after around 12 hours.

"Sleep well.", Aria whispered, pressed a single kiss on the girl's forehead and felt her snuggling closer, resting her head in the curve of Aria's neck.

For what felt like hours but were in fact only minutes, Aria laid there unmoving. When she came to the conclusion that enough time had passed, she looked over the sleeping girl, shaking her lightly - the girl didn't respond in any way. Caleb had told her to shake her and even lightly slap her at one point as they had to be sure that she was in fact tranquilized.

When the girl didn't even stir after Aria lightly slapped her cheek, she rolled over and got out of bed, looking for her phone.

"She is sleeping.", she whispered into the phone, her gaze still on the sleeping form.

"Put the cameras on.", she did as he told her to and put the small cameras in action, the red light blinking in the dark room.

"Okay, done", she whispered again. The girl had still not moved, but Aria grew nervous as she felt like she would wake up any minute.

"Good. I see her. Get the handcuffs now and place two around both her wrists and then another pair around her ankles on the end of the bed."

She felt weird handcuffing her to the bed, and at any other time she would have probably laughed about the picture in front of her, because it felt a little like out of "Shades of Grey", but this was serious so she swallowed her chuckles and finished the work, but not before whispering "sorry", as quietly as possible. She knew Caleb couldn't really hear her, as there were no microphones placed around her apartment, but she whispered anyway.

"Done."

"Good work.", Caleb complimented her. "I'm on my way now. Stay there."

"Okay", she reassured him and hang up the phone. She sat at the end of the bed, listened to the claiming breathing that filled the room and waited for Caleb to arrive.

...

"Aria?", she heard Caleb when he entered the dim room and she turned to greet him.

"Hey. I didn't switch on the lights because I feared that might wake her up."

"Well, if the pills work right, she shouldn't." He switched on the lights, and Aria saw how his eyes travelled to the sleeping girl. She saw the startled look on his face and could imagine what he was thinking about.

"She looks like her." It was an understatement. Really. She didn't just looked like her. She was the almost identical copy of Spencer Hastings, and she had mastered her behavior and speech to a overwhelming degree as well.

"She does.", agreed Aria, but the longer she spend time with her the more obvious it was that she was actually completely different than Spencer Hastings as well.

TO BE CONTINUED...

There you have it for now! Leave some words please. Your words mean the world to me! Thank you!

Guess what happens next?

Much love.


	8. Saved

Hey there! It's me again.

Glad you liked the previous chapter, and proud of the ones who guessed Caleb was the one who would help Aria!

Have fun with this one! :)

...

"Here, you check out her phone and the rest of her purse, I will try to track down her bank card to see what she's been up to."

"She doesn't have any weird phone calls on this one, it's just us girls she's contacted and Spencer's mum. There has to be another phone. This one is just Spencer's." Aria sighed, she needed something better than this. She took the purse and began to search for some more stuff.

"All these credit cards are labeled as Spencer Hastings. No leads to a double life. She must have thought about this."

"Wait.", Aria called out. "What's this?", she handed Caleb what looked like a remote control and gaped at him confused.

"I don't know. It seems like some sort of control pad. Hand me the phone over. I'm going to see if I can trace back some locations."

After a few minutes, Caleb spoke again.

"Do you know this address?", he showed her a location in Rosewood that seemed not to far away and Aria regarded at the street name.

"I'm not sure, but the street name sounds familiar... Wait! That's the street where Toby built that house for Spencer in!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! But why would this girl go there every day?"

Caleb shrugged. "We should find out."^

"Okay.", and with that Aria grabbed her coat and her own purse, turning towards the door.

"Wait, Aria. What do we do with this one? We can't just leave her here?"

"Stay.", she told him. "I got this."

"No way! You're not going to check this place out alone!"

"Caleb, I'll be fine okay? I'm just going to have a look. I will take her purse okay? Maybe there is a key or something.", she pushed inside the control pad as well, her own phone and purse in case she needed some money.

"Maybe I should go and you should stay?"

"No.", she replied firmly. "You shouldn't even be involved in this in the first place. Hanna will kill me if she finds out I put you in danger! You've got your - ", she didn't continue. She watched the sleeping girl, hoping she would stay asleep for a while longer.

"Gun?", he carefully asked and she nodded tentatively.

"Yes. Okay. I've got mine, too. Just, don't hurt her, okay? Please." Aria didn't know where this was coming from, but she knew she couldn't handle it if something happened to her before she could talk to her, really talk to her.

"I - ", Aria noticed how lost at words Caleb was, so she just looked at him pleadingly, until he reluctantly gave in. "Okay. I promise to be careful."

Aria, accepting his answer, gave him a small smile, waving a goodbye, and sprinting out of the door towards her car.

It was no lie that she was scared. She didn't know what to expect at the house, and she wasn't sure if she even wanted to.

When she finally arrived, it appeared to be normal. She moved further to the property, crossing the front yard and she stood in front of the door for a minute. She rang the bell, waiting if someone was going to answer and when no one responded, she tried to open it, but failed. She fumbled in the girl's purse and was relieved when she did in fact find a set of keys. She breathed out a sigh of relief when one of them fit. Turning around the door knob carefully, she scanned around the room and shouted out "Hello?", but nobody seemed to be home. Roaming through the rooms, she couldn't find anything odd about the place, but once she looked closer she could see that price tags still hung on the furniture and that it all resembled Spencer's house. The furniture, the paintings on the wall, everything.

"Spencer?", she called out, but once again she was welcomed with silence.

After what felt like forever, she finally found something suspicious in the storage room. She hoped her instincts were right, and was a little bit surprised when it was in fact a slide door that opened instantly when Aria pushed it aside.

"Hello?", she shouted out again, but nothing happened. She removed her gun slowly from the retainer around her waist and held it carefully in both hands, not wanting to risk anything. She was creeped out by the long halls and couldn't understand what was happening around her. After turning into different alleys, running through halls and shouting out Spencer's name she was about to give up. She stood in one of the hallways. Her breathing had slowed down a little bit, but she was still exhausted from all the running. She looked at her phone. She had been in this place for over an hour, and she was sure Caleb had probably tried to call her more than a few times, but being under ground there was no chance of having signal. She banged hard on one of the steal walls, letting it vibrate for a minute, and if she wasn't so furious she might have complained about the pain in her hand.

A minute later however, she felt the wall vibrate again. But that wasn't her. She put her hands on the wall, feeling the vibration all over again.

"Hello?", she shouted. "Is someone there?"

The vibration started again, and Aria's eyes went wide. She looked around the room, thinking someone might have come in. Suddenly, the vibration stopped.

"Spencer?" But there was no vibration in reply.

"Is someone there?" Aria felt the vibration again against her sweaty palms, and took a step back. She was sure now that someone was trapped behind the steal walls, but if it wasn't Spencer - who was? Unless? Oh god!, she thought and closed her eyes.

"Ezra?", she shouted out. She screamed his name, hoping he would hear her, and suddenly she felt the wall vibrate again and again, hearing muffled voices. Aria was sure, he was probably trying to shout out to her, too. She turned around the room, scanning it for a moment and tried to think of a way to get Ezra out of there.

"I'm getting you out. I'm going to get you out.", she promised weakly.

That's when Aria remembered the control pad. She put the gun back into the retainer and searched in the girl's purse until she finally found it, fumbling with it, and pressing a few buttons. Then she pressed the big red button in the middle, hoping nothing would explode, like it happened in movies. However, she could make out a door opening at the end of the hall, and she ran towards it.

Once the door was open, she gained sight inside of it and was shocked and a little relieved when she saw what looked like a control room in front of her. She started the computer and wished Caleb was there with her, because he was so much better at this stuff then she was. However, she got to open a plan of the house, zooming in and out, until finally she found the hall she was currently in and saw how there were two descriptions on each side of the wall: _Cell A, Cell B_

Her eyes widened and she clicked on the first one. A small window opened and she could press _roll-up_ and _open_. She did as stated and turned around, but when she noticed that it was actually the wall in front of it she was about to close it again, when suddenly she heard someone sobbing quietly. She pressed for the other cell to open quickly, feeling relieved when she saw the other wall was now lifting as well. She then sprinted to the other cell, where she heard the sobbing coming from, curious to who was held captive with Ezra, already knowing the answer.

That's when she saw her. Aria didn't notice for a moment how Ezra had shouted out to her, the only thing she saw was Spencer's body slumped down on the floor in front of the single bed, her head resting on her knees buried in her hands, while she was rocking back and forth.

"Aria!", she heard Ezra yell again and she turned around quickly. She saw the chain on his ankle and turned to move quickly inside the opposite, open cell.

When she reached him, his eyes shone with love. Aria smiled, tears welling up in her eyes, and she hugged him close. It was then that Ezra tried to kiss her. However, Aria turned slightly, his lips landing on her cheek instead of her lips and he seemed hurt. She didn't want him to be so disappointed, but she felt overwhelmed with the situation and the previous events were still a heavy weight she carried with her. She sighed apologetically and kissed Ezra's forehead, whipping his sweaty hair and caressing his face, noticing a healing wound on his head and she worried for a second of him being hurt.

Her worries were calmed, when she felt his hand on her cheek, guiding her face so they were now face to face.

"Hi.", she whispered then and even though she was never more grateful and happy to see him, something inside Aria just wouldn't let her get closer to him.

"Hi.", he smiled, and this time he caught her out of guard and succeeded in claiming her lips with his own. Aria let him kiss her for a while, finding comfort in his embrace, and feeling like it was the right thing to do. But somehow images of Alex and Spencer clouded her mind, and she stopped the kiss.

Her eyes grew wide. _Spencer_. She needed to get Spencer out, too.

"Spencer.", she let out, pecking him out of habit on the lips and searched for the keys in her purse. She was glad when the chains opened and Ezra was free.

Before she could run to Spencer's cell though, Ezra lifted her up and spun her around for a while, obviously happy that he had finally been saved, but the second Aria touched the ground, she raced over to the other cell.

"Spence?" She let herself in, signaling for Ezra to wait outside the cell for her, handing him her gun just in case someone came in and he nodded. Aria was glad he respected her friendship with Spencer enough to know not to intrude.

Spencer still hadn't looked up, nor had she acknowledged Aria's presence and Aria was beginning to worry that something was seriously wrong with her. She knelt before her best friend. Slowly, trying not to scare her, she placed a hand on one of Spencer's that held her head in place. The contact made something inside of Spencer snap and she suddenly moved her hands to look up, looking scared for a second until her eyes met Aria's.

…

"Spencer?", she heard her name being called. She hated how her mind played tricks on her. It sounded so much like Aria's voice, but Spencer knew it was only part of her imaginations. They hadn't stopped and somehow it was always Aria, who would sit with her in her cell, trying to cheer her up, trying to give her hope. She couldn't remember the last time she had a drink, or something to eat, and she felt like more than 24 had passed. Her body felt weak and it shook with exhaustion and dehydration. Spencer knew she needed water and the dark was driving her crazy as well. Suddenly though, she felt a hand reach hers, and it felt so real that she was startled by the touch and jolted up. When she opened her eyes, the brightness of the room made her eyes burn, but it all seemed to vanish when she met eyes with the one person she had been dreaming about.

"Aria?", she breathed out. Her voice raspy, her lips dry, not sure if Aria was really there, or if her mind was still playing tricks on her.

"I'm here.", she heard her say and suddenly tiny arms wrapped around her tall, but slim frame and she felt a kind of warmth that was impossible to imagine. She shook in her friends arms. Not believing that it was really Aria who held her and whispered words of comforts into her ear. Her own arms wrapped haltingly around her best friend, feeling the need to touch her. She didn't know how Aria had found them, she didn't know what happened to Alex, or how Aria had managed to save them, but for once her hyperactive brain didn't care. All she cared about, was that she was finally back in her best friend's arms and that she felt safe.

"I'm so glad I found you.", she heard Aria whisper, and it had never felt so good to hear Aria's soft voice. She felt Aria plant a caring kiss on her forehead and sighed out in relief.

"Me too.", she managed to say. She was still shaking in Aria's arms, but felt a small shift, as Aria grabbed the purse that was next to her. Aria must have heard how raspy her voice had sounded. Spencer smiled grateful when Aria handed her the bottle of water, and Spencer was about to drink all of it, when suddenly Aria reached for the bottle, and for just a moment Spencer was scared to be punished, feeling like she did something wrong. Aria must have noticed her tensing up, because Spencer felt Aria's hands rubbing softly down her arms. She looked carefully up into Aria's eyes that resembled nothing but worry and love, and saw how Aria's head tilted slightly into the direction of Ezra. She heard Aria call out his name, and saw him moving towards the cell. Spencer felt Aria's arms tighten around her, when her body began to shake again. Out of the corner of her eye, she observed Aria handing Ezra the bottle.

"We should get her out of here.", he whispered and she saw Aria nod. She was too exhausted to complain, when she felt strong arms lift her up. She knew it wasn't Aria, but she knew Ezra was the only one who could carry her out of this place. She felt a tiny hand wrap around hers then, as they moved across the hall, knowing it was Aria who wanted to give her comfort. She smiled at the thought, smiled at the thought of Aria being there with her. She wanted to say something, she wanted to thank her for saving her, wanted to say so much more, but exhaustion took over and for the first time since she had been locked in, she fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.

…

"What happened to her?", Aria couldn't move her gaze from her resting best friend. She wondered why Ezra was still so strong, why he wasn't completely shattered and worn out like Spencer, but seemed almost unaffected by all of this.

"There is so much to talk about, Aria. But I don't think now is the time for all of this." Aria heard him sigh, and she decided to leave it like that and wait until Spencer was feeling better again.

They finally reached the car and Ezra placed Aria's sleeping best friend carefully onto the back seats. He turned around to face her then, wrapping his arms around her waist and drawing her close. He kissed the top of her head, and for a moment she let herself fall into his embrace. "I missed you.", he whispered and a lonely tear fell from Aria's eyes as she remembered the heartbreak and the anger she had been through. "I did too.", she answered, and moved out of his arms. "I'm really glad that you're okay Ezra", she said, kissing his cheek, and moving into the driver's seat, ignoring Ezra's protests when he told her he could drive and Aria could sit with Spencer in the back seat. She wished she could, but she wasn't quite sure which state Ezra was in, so she thought it was safer to drive herself.

They drove in silence, as neither could think of a good way to start a conversation. Aria concluded that Ezra must have noticed something in the way she behaved around him. She didn't want to hurt him. It was the last thing she wanted to do. But so much had happened while he was away. She had tried to move on from him when she thought he wouldn't be coming back. There were things that happened, that he didn't know about. There were feelings and emotions not even she could understand. She couldn't just jump back into place with him. They would talk later, but right in this moment, she would just thank God and the Universe that him and Spencer were _safe_. After all, that was all that mattered to her.

She continued to drive, checking on Spencer's sleeping form every now and then through her rearview mirror, and letting out a tiny sigh of reveal that she was finally resting. It would only take them a few more minutes to be back at the apartment. She had sent Caleb a message that she would be over soon and had managed to get out Ezra and Spencer. She was relieved when he answered and said that Alex was still sleeping, and she also smirked when he added that even though he could kill for answering just now, he was still proud of her. She continued to smile. She knew things would boil up again once they reached the apartment. There was a lot to talk about, there were decisions to be made and questions to be answered; she would have to call Hanna and Emily, and probably Toby soon and there would be chaos, and disagreements, and probably screaming - But in this moment she tried to forget and focus on the few minutes of peace she had left. Spencer and Ezra were finally save again and her plan had worked. She would figure out the rest later. She just wanted to enjoy the quiet before the storm for just a few minutes longer.

...

Spencer and Ezra are finally saved! But the story is far from over!

The big question now is: What will happen to Alex? What do you think is her reaction going to be when she finally wakes up?

Hope you liked the chapter :)

What do you think will happen next?

Also if you have some Sparia or even Alex/Aria prompts - just message them to me and I will try to come up with something :)

Please leave some words. Much love!


	9. After the Storm (1)

Hey folks! Thank you all for your great interest in this story! Your kind words make my day and it helps me to write those chapters more frequently, cause I don't want you to keep waiting! So big Thank you!

Hope you enjoy this one! It's going to focus on Aria's and Spencer's thoughts because Alex is still out haha, but I promise you next chapter will be more Alex centric and also Alex/Aria! :)

Still anything can happen for the endgame, but I know there are some hardcore Sparia fans out there! :)

Much Love!

...

"Before we go inside -", Ezra had picked up Spencer and was now carrying her sleeping friend towards their apartment but Aria had to tell him first about Alex being there.

Ezra turned around then, he must have noticed her change of voice because she could see the worry in his eyes.

"Just to let you know but Alex is inside. And she is chained to the bed."

Ezra's eyes might have well popped out, considering how wide they went after Aria had said that.

"Should I ask?", he let out and Aria shook her head slightly.

"Caleb is there, too. Watching her. I will tell you later. Promise.", she smiled then, hoping it was her most trustful smile, because being honest with herself she didn't know how much she would share about that night.

Aria let themselves in, turning the key and scanning the dim room. Caleb was not in plain sight and she turned on the lights, nudging Ezra slightly and pointing to the couch. Ezra carefully laid Spencer down on the sofa, and Aria decided to go check if Caleb was in the bedroom. She could hear footsteps following her, and knew Ezra was behind her.

"Caleb?", she whispered and when she was fully in the room, she saw him work on his computer.

He turned around then, with a look of both - anger and relief.

"Looks who is finally here! I called you like 50 times, Aria! You can't just go off like that and not text or answer calls for hours! I was worried sick!", he kind of yelled, not even trying to lower his voice.

Aria sighed. "You're right! But there was no reception underground and I had to figure out how to get them out - ", Aria noticed then how his eyes travelled to Ezra and he smiled softly.

Caleb got up and walked up to him, giving him a handshake and an awkward man hug.

"I'm glad you're okay, man. Just be glad that you're back here and have a good reason for leaving Aria at the altar, or I might have just kicked your ass."

Aria knew it was supposed to be a joke, but she couldn't help the memories of that day that came up and she smiled at Caleb for being so protective. He really was a good friend.

"Thanks man. And I sure hope so.", Ezra replied.

Caleb's eyes roamed through the room, and Aria knew he was looking for Spencer.

"Spencer is sleeping. She was pretty shaken up - I don't know what AD did to her." She looked at Alex then. The name fit somehow but Aria couldn't believe that it was in fact _her_ that had Ezra and Spencer locked up. Ezra still hadn't told her all of it. She basically knew nothing and it was time she got some answers.

"Tell me what happend.", she demanded while looking at Ezra, knowing Spender wouldn't be up for at least another hour and Alex would probably be sleeping a few hours longer as well.

Ezra seemed to finally gave in because he grabbed one of the wooden chairs of the rooms, and slumped down, the exhaustion of the past weeks finally hitting him, and started talking. He explained her, and Caleb - who had stopped whatever he was doing - that he had made some reservation for the honeymoon at the Radley and that he saw - what he thought was Spencer - approaching him. He told them how he wanted to thank her for the suggestion but she seemed confused and weird - but as he wanted to follow her and see what was going on she had hit him hard on the head. He told them how he woke up and how he saw Spencer and explained them everything. How Alex Drake was actually Spencer's twin and Mary Drake's second child; how she grew up in London; how she met Wren, and then Charlotte and how they all were this close group. Ezra told them how through the game Alex seeked revenge after Charlotte's death, wanting to honor Charlotte by continuing the game. Apparently she also decided to take over Spencer's life because she was jealous and because she had fallen for Aria a little when she had been observing Spencer and her friends. Aria's cheeks suddenly reddened but she was glad when the boys didn't notice. Ezra explained how they would normally receive food and drinks during the time Alex had them locked up but Alex had told him that Spencer had been punished and wouldn't receive anything that day, which explained her friend's shaken form.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner!", Aria yelled out, angry that he would keep something so important from her, especially when she had been so worried about her best friend.

"I didn't want you to worry more than you already were. I thought it would be better to tell you here, where we're safe. Where Spencer is safe."

Aria nodded, partially understanding where Ezra was coming from.

"You should get your head checked out. I don't like how it looks. It could be infected.", she wanted to sound more caring, more loving, but a small part of her was still mad that he hadn't told her about Alex really being AD back in the cell. Aria wasn't dumb. She had known Alex was hiding something ugly, but albeit she knew she had done some stupid things, and had made some horrible mistakes - she hadn't been prepared for this. All this time she hadn't let the thought cross her mind that AD was actually back. That Alex Drake was in fact the person who stole Emily's eggs and who had succeeded in blackmailing Aria to the point where she had betrayed her friends more than once. A part of her didn't want to believe that Alex could have been part in all of this, she thought the lost girl had just wanted to pretend being Spencer in order to live a normal life, to escape her old one - but now that Aria knew all the horrible things she had done - like kill Wren, like trying to kill Mona who they had thought was suicidal since that incident in Radley - she didn't know what to think anymore. She didn't know why she could still feel Alex's lips, or hear her voice - the voice that held the familiarity of Spencer but was just a little more edgy, a little more daring. Alex. Alex from London. She was a little surprised to find out she was British, considering she had mastered the American accent in a way Aria would have never guessed she was anything than that. Alex. The mysterious girl had a name and Aria had to admit that it fit her perfectly.

"Aria, are you okay?", it was Caleb who brought her out of her thoughts and she nodded. Shaking her head up and down, hoping she didn't look to weird.

"I'm going to check on Spencer. Can you stay here, and watch her?" She didn't wait for an answer though, and headed to the bedroom door.

"What's wrong with her?", she heard Ezra whispering to Caleb, but she turned and closed the door anyway.

Aria made her way to the couch. It was weird. A minute ago, thoughts and images of Alex seemed to haunt her, but now that she was kneeling in front of Spencer's sleeping form all she could think of was her and the relief Aria felt that she was finally saved. She reached out a hand to trace Spencer's face and tuck a fallen strand behind her ear. Now that she had been so close to both girls, Aria could easily make out the differences between the sisters. She was about to remove her hand, not wanting to disturb Spencer's sleep any further, when she felt a hand covering hers, resting softly on top of it. She looked up to see Spencer's opening eyes and her heart warmed when she saw Spencer smiling at her. Before Aria could speak, Spencer had turned her head slightly, kissing Aria's palm tenderly, holding onto her hand like a life line, and intertwining their fingers.

"Thank you for rescuing me.", and even though her voice sounded a little hoarse, Aria could hear the conviction in every word she spoke.

"Drink this.", Aria ordered with a smile and helped Spencer bring the glass of water to her lips.

"Are you hungry? I know you haven't eaten in a while." It hurt Aria to see Spencer like this, but it hurt even more to think about what she had been through.

"A little", the older girl admitted and Aria sprang into action and prepared her some soup. Knowing it would do her good. When she was ready she lifted the spoon so she could blow a little of cool air to the hot soup and began to feed Spencer, who let out a small laugh. "You don't have to feed me Aria. I can eat by myself."

"It's okay. Just let me take care of you." Aria needed this. She needed to know that Spencer knew she was there for her, unconditionally. And then there was also the bit of guilt that hit her whenever she thought of Alex. So she tried to push those aside and focus on Spencer.

Aria was glad that Ezra and Caleb hadn't yet entered the living room, because after a period of silence, Spencer spoke again.

"How did you find us? What - god! Where is Alex?", Spencer jolted up from the couch, but Aria's hand shot up to quickly grab Spencer by the arm in time and she pulled her down again.

"Calm down, okay? Please. I will explain."

"Where is she? Do you not know where she is? She is dangerous, Aria! She is going to go after me, after Etra! Aria, she is going to come after you, too!" Spencer's hectic looks around the room made Aria nervous.

"Spencer", Aria tried, using her best calming voice she could. "You're safe, we are safe. She can't hurt us."

Spencer's face went pale. Her facial expression stoic and Aria couldn't tell what she was feeling, but she was sure of what she must be thinking.

"She is not dead. She is just.. she is resting."

"Resting?! Where? I'm going to kill her! Or hurt her! I don't know!"

Aria was glad she still held Spencer's arms firmly in her hands and that Spencer hadn't gained her whole strength back, so Aria could prevent her from standing up.

"If I tell you, do you promise not do something stupid? Promise you will listen to me and stay here. Please", Aria pleaded and she saw Spencer's face soften, her eyes finding Aria's, and finally she gave in.

"I promise."

Making sure Spencer wouldn't just jump up from the couch again, Aria's hands remained tightly on Spencer's arm, but the older girl didn't seem to mind.

"She is sleeping.", Aria confessed for a while and the way Spencer's eyebrows wrenched in confusion, made her go on.

"We are safe. She - she is chained to the bed. In the bedroom and she is on some kind of drugs."

There was a moment of silence and Aria could feel Spencer's body tense up under her touch. She was sure Spencer fought the urge to run through the bedroom door and strangle the girl, but Aria was relived when she didn't.

Neither spoke, and Aria began to worry, when Spencer suddenly laid her head on Aria's shoulder.

"I really want to go in there and hurt her.", her teeth clenched and Aria didn't know if she had ever seen Spencer look this way.

"I Know. I know you want to."

"How?", she asked Aria and Aria didn't need any further explanation.

How did you do it?

How did you get us out?

How did you save us?

"It's a long story-", Aria began and she knew how lame that sounded.

"After I thought Ezra had left me, Alex, insisted to stay with me. I thought it was you, so I was thankful for the company. However a few nights after Ezra had disappeared, she stayed over and in the middle of the night she began shaking. So to comfort her - you - I took her hand like I always do with you and traced the hand with my fingers." Aria stopped for a moment. Reaching for Spencer's hand and copying the movement. Her heart warmed when she felt the outline of Spencer's scar under her finger tip, and it almost brought tears to her eyes, knowing it was in fact _her_.

"You knew.", Spencer drew her hand away suddenly, her eyes filled with tears and her face hard, as to not want to show emotions. It shocked Aria that Spencer had reacted that way. She didn't know where she was coming from. She tried to touch her again, but Spencer turned her body to the side, not facing Aria.

"You knew.", she repeated her words and Aria could hear her voice cracking. "She kissed you. You two kissed, and you knew it wasn't me."

Aria sat there dumbfounded. Not sure what to say. How could Spencer even know? Had Alex really told Spencer about those nights? In a way, she felt betrayed. She felt stupid for thinking that away, especially because she was not naive enough to accept that Alex's intentions were not good at all. But it still hurt that Alex seemed to have bragged about those intimate moments, moments Aria couldn't forget about - as much as she tried to.

"Spencer I only did it because I knew it was the only way to get answers." Aria tried to defend herself, but there was no reaction.

"Spencer. Look at me." She reached for the side of Spencer's face, turning her head so they could lock eyes. It hurt Aria to see the betray in Spencer's eyes, and for a minute, for only a second, she wanted to kiss her nose playfully, tell it was all some messed up dream and wish they were still in DC. She didn't know where that thought was coming from though, she and Spencer had agreed to never mention it again..

"It was the only way. You have to believe that.", Aria tried again, but it was like she was talking to a brick wall.

Then, after minutes had passed, Spencer spoke: "Did you sleep with her?"

The question caught Aria off guard, and part of her wanted to yell at Spencer and tell her that it was none of her business. But she held her tongue, and just shook her head. Spencer's body began to relax and Aria could see the relief on her face

"But you kissed. Did you like it?", Aria had always loved that Spencer didn't hold back, that she told her the truth about what she was thinking, but in that moment she wished Spencer would have stayed silent. Aria knew she was taking too long to answer, when Spencer raised an eyebrow, obviously growing frustrated.

"Unbelievable.", was the only thing she said and Aria jumped in.

"I was pretending to kiss you, Spencer! It's complicated. But no, I didn't like the idea of kissing a strange girl! It was to save you! But you obviously don't care!" She didn't know if she was lying then. She still felt unsure about the whole situation and it was like her emotions were all over the place, like somebody had sprinkled them onto the floor like they were simple bread crumbs.

"I'm sorry, Aria. I'm being a bitch.", apologized the taller girl and Aria wondered if Spencer had ever really used that word before.

"It's okay.", she whispered - still confused, and a little guilty when she thought about that one moment when she might have debated to let Alex take of the garment she had been fumbling with, more guiltily when she felt heat rising in her body at the thought alone.

"You don't know how many times I prayed for you to save me.", it was Spencer who broke the silence - again - and Aria chuckled.

"You didn't imagine Toby coming in on a white horse and rescuing you from the dragon?"

Spencer laughed with her then, until it died down and she was serious again. "No. Somehow I think I knew you were the one to get me out of there."

They smiled, and there was silence again, and no words were spoken, but this time it felt right. Spencer was back, and she was safe, and she was mostly okay and Aria couldn't express how much of a relief that was - with that she pushed all thoughts of Alex into the far back of her mind.

They stayed there on the couch, Spencer had rested her head on Aria's small shoulder, and Aria had began to trace Spencer's scar again. It was all too comforting to be true, when the door suddenly slammed open and they parted in confusion.

"Shit!", Ezra screamed.

"She's waking up!"

...

I know you've all been waiting to see Alex's reaction - but I just felt that it was important for Aria to talk not only to Spencer, but also to Ezra about what happened down there before facing Alex.

I promise more Alex in the next chapter!

As always, leave some words and tell me what you think! :) - good and bad I take it haha -

Thanks for sticking with me!


	10. After the Storm (2)

I'm still overwhelmed with all your kind words! Thank you for reading this story and reviewing so much! It makes me want to keep this going :)

I'm so excited every time someone reviews this story and you always make me feel a little proud! Thank all of you for that! :)

Hope you enjoy this chapter. And I know a lot of you (if not 90% haha) are Sparia - but Aria still is very confused with this whole Alex thing, so give her some time :) Hope is never lost!

Here it goes...

...

Spencer's heartbeat sped up rapidly, her breathing short and her head was spinning. Ezra's words had hit her hard but before she could say anything, she saw Aria sprinting into the bedroom, Ezra close behind. Spencer couldn't move. It was as if she was frozen to the spot. Suddenly she was scared to face Alex. She knew she had no reason. Aria had told her that she unable to move. And still, the smart girl couldn't get her feed moving.

"What did you do to me? Aria?! Shit, I trusted you!", she heard Alex shout and she listened to the clashing of metal, as she was probably wiggling with her chains to try to get free.

Spencer took a deep breath, preparing herself to face the sister she wished she never had, but before she could even move herself, Caleb came out with a worried look and pulled her inside the room.

"You fuckin' assholes! Let me go!"

Spencer had to admit, as much as she had been anxious to face Alex, she found it quite refreshing to see _AD_ struggle with chains around her wrists and ankles. Somehow it was still a fun sight to witness.

"It's your fucking fault! You selfish little bitch!", Alex had seen her come in and was now furiously yelling out at Spencer.

"I'm the selfish bitch? You are pathetic if you thought you could have pulled that stunt of yours longer than you did! I told you my friends were going to find out the truth!"

"If it wasn't for your little friend here, you would have rotted in that place! Shit, Aria! I thought we had something that night! You cannot tell me it was all fake! I swear those moans were not pretended at all! You're just too scared to fucking admit it!"

Spencer felt her stomach drop at the mention of her and Aria together in bed. She trusted Aria with all her heart, and she believed her when she had said that they didn't sleep together – but she still felt something pull at her heart at just the thought of Aria liking the way Alex would touch her – kiss her – it made her sick.

She looked at Ezra then, who was probably wondering the same thing, as his eyes were glued to Aria and he looked like he was going to explode any minute.

"What the heck is she talking about?", Ezra had turned to Aria now, his words cold and Spencer could see the rage in his eyes. She heard Aria sigh, and it seemed as if she wanted to touch his arm, but she withdrew her hand quickly, avoiding his glance, and sparking a fire she had rarely seen Aria in.

"I let her kiss me, so I knew she would trust me and so she would not be suspicious at all. I needed to do something to get answers, and I knew she liked me – so this was the only way to get you guys out! Both of you! Why does nobody freaking believe me? All I did was so I could get some information out of her! And I did! I risk my life for you morons and all you do is lashing out on me! Pull yourselves together! This isn't Disneyland! So shut the hell up and just be happy to be out of there – Please?"

Spencer's eyes filled with worry when she saw the tears in her best friend's eyes and she felt a pang of guilt, so she slowly reached for the smaller girl's hand and squeezed it affectionately. There were still some things that bothered Spencer about this whole weird thing between her so called twin sister and Aria, but she also understood where Aria was coming from. She felt Aria squeeze back then, but her gaze was back on Ezra, waiting for any reaction.

"We will talk later.", was all Ezra said and Aria rolled her eyes in response, clearly not satisfied with his lack of talking. For a long time no one spoke, no one except for Alex who was still shouting out curse words Spencer had never heard of in her entire life and screaming at them to let her go, promising revenge.

"What do we do with her?"

It was Caleb who asked the question and the first thing that came to Spencer's mind was to drag Alex to her own secret underground, put her in one of those cells, and let her rot there until she would starve to death. She knew though, that this wasn't how normal people handled this situation. Not that they were normal people of course. Then again, Spencer felt like she should at least try and talk to her before they would decide what to do. After all, it might be the last time she would ever speak to her and there were still things out in the open that she wanted to understand, so her mind could finally rest.

"Can I talk to her for a second?"

Spencer was shocked when it weren't her words that filled the room, but Aria's and she dropped her friend's hand like it was fire.

"Absolutely not!", Ezra ranted and for the first time in what felt like years Spencer actually agreed with him.

"Yeah. There is no freaking way you are going to talk to her by yourself!"

Spencer backed up Ezra, not liking at all the idea of Aria and Alex alone in a room – she couldn't even handle the looks Alex was giving Aria with her around and she sure as hell would not let Aria alone with this psycho. She turned to Aria again.

Aria seemed conflicted and she tried to convince them that she would only need a minute to understand, to talk to her about what happened. But there was no way Spencer could bare the thought of Alex hurting Aria in any way possible ever again, and the only way for it not to happen was to be there with her so she could protect her.

"I'm not going to leave you alone in this room with this monster, Aria! Who knows what she's up to! She is a freaking psychotic witch and you're not going to be in the same room as her by yourself - And that's final!" It was Ezra, who spoke again and by the time he finished his rant, he grabbed Aria harshly by her elbow, and tried to pull her out of the room. Spencer could see Aria wince for a second, as Ezra was probably a bit too forceful on her, having his hand wrapped tightly around Aria's arm. In the corner of the eye, Spencer could see Alex wearing an amused look on her face.

"You're hurting me, Ezra!", Aria screamed at him and tried to yank his hand away, but he wouldn't budge and he continued to try drag her out of the room.

"You're not going to be in there any second longer, Aria! That bitch will not lay a finger or even an eye on you ever again, do you hear me?!" His words held a venom, Spencer hadn't seen since the day they about two years ago when their group had accused him of Charlotte's death and his screams made Spencer flinch in fear. Ezra had finally achieved to drag Aria towards the door, even though the tiny girl struggled against his strong hold and Spencer could only witness the desperation and distress in her best friend's face.

"Let her go!", she heard Caleb yell out then and when Ezra didn't obey his orders, and Aria cried out in pain once again, Caleb swung his fist towards the older men's face. Ezra stumbled backwards, losing his balance while releasing his strong hold on Aria, who slumped down to the floor, holding her arm in pain. Spencer could see tears streaming down her face. In one fast step she was by her side, forgetting all about her anger towards her, drawing her into an embrace, careful not to crush her, as Aria winced in pain. Spencer observed the dark mark that formed on Aria's arm. It looked painful, but not too serious. She listened to her quiet sobs and felt Aria's heart beat unevenly fast. Seeing her so upset, Spencer's eyes filled with her own tears and when she felt Alex watching them, she drew Aria closer into her, shielding her from the peering eyes. She spotted Ezra in the corner of the room as he wearily got off the floor, and for a minute Spencer thought he would lash out again - at Caleb perhaps, or even at them, so she held Aria protectively – hoping he wouldn't try to hurt her - but all Ezra did was throw his arms over his head, and letting out a groan, followed by a gasp.

"Shit, Aria. I'm sorry – baby – I'm so sorry." Ezra turned to her and Aria, stepping closer, when suddenly Aria buried her body deeper into her and Spencer looked up at Ezra, anger probably flickering in her eyes.

"Ezra, she is scared. Please, just give her some time.", Spencer was surprised how calmly she had spoken those words when all she wanted was to rant at Ezra for frightening her friend.

"Okay. I should - I'm leaving.", Ezra announced, holding his bloody nose, and he watched Aria as she continued to cry into her best friend's chest. Spencer felt Aria stir under her arms and peek up at Ezra, giving him a small smile and a nod – the gesture baffled Spencer but she didn't say anything - glad Aria wasn't moving out of her arms and relieved that Ezra would leave after what had just happened.

"I'm – I'm really sorry, Aria. I – I will call, okay? We should talk. I will call you. Bye. I love you. I love you so much." Spencer saw Ezra still watching Aria and she felt her move slightly. "Okay. I know, me too.", the small girl answered with a nod and smiled sadly all while Spencer couldn't help the small pull at her heart.

"Take care of her, okay?", Ezra's eyes were on her then and she nodded briefly, promising herself that she would. A second later, Ezra was out of sight.

…

The three of them that were left, looked warily at each other. Aria had thanked Spencer for calming her down, but moved out of her arms when she saw Ezra leaving the room. She stood up and glanced down on the girl in her bed, who had stopped screaming and was now looking intensively at the small group. Aria desperately wanted to talk to her alone, and she knew she had hurt Ezra and she knew she was hurting Spencer – but she just needed some time to comprehend what this all was about – she didn't get why they couldn't understand where she was coming from.

"Guys?", she spoke, turning to Spencer and Caleb and Spencer's head began to shake uncontrollably.

"No way, Aria! I'm with Ezra on this one! I don't think he was right to hurt you but he was a hundred percent right, when he said you should not be left alone in this room with her!" Aria knew Spencer had a point, but she wasn't about to give up on this. She looked at Caleb then, hoping that at least he would _try_ to understand and she knew he was on her side, when sighed softly.

"Spencer.", he began, touching her arm slightly so she would listen.

"I think we should let Aria have some time. Give her five minutes. No more. And then you can come bursting into the room again, okay? Just five minutes. She needs this. And I know you do, too, afterwards."

Aria saw something change in Spencer's eyes and she was glad Caleb had found a way to open her eyes – She knew she had made the right decision by calling him to help her – she still felt horrible when she thought how Hanna would find out and probably hate her, but she hoped Hanna would eventually understand that she had never put Caleb into real danger and that it was so Hanna wouldn't be dragged into it and stay safe.

"Five minutes." Aria felt Spencer's eyes burn into her and she gave her a thankful nod. Reluctantly, Spencer left the room with Caleb leading the way, but not before sending Alex a glare that, if looks could kill, would have decapitated her on the spot.

"If you wanted to talk to me so you could give me some kind of lecture - you can leave. I don't need to hear it."

"I'm not here to give you a lecture."

Aria tipped nervously from right to left. Now that she was alone with Alex, she didn't really know what to say. Maybe this was a mistake.

"So - what are you here for then?"

Aria saw Alex raising an eyebrow - even though she was chained to the bed on the ground, her self-confident level was still up in the sky.

"Why?" The question hung in the air and Aria wondered if Alex knew what she was referring to, until she heard her start talking.

"Just because." And Aria wanted to swipe that stupid smug look Alex wore off her face.

"Cut the crap, Alex. Just tell me."

She twitched her lips in thinking.

"You answer my question, I answer yours."

"In all honesty?" If this would bring Aria some answers, she could handle some stupid questions.

"Yes. In all honesty."

And even though it was wrong on so many levels to trust her, she believed her. It was odd, really. But something just told Aria that Alex wasn't lying. That she was actually telling the truth for once.

"Okay, Deal."

The room met with silence again, and Aria waited for Alex to ask her question.

"Why did you go along with this? I mean, why kiss me? You didn't have to do that. You could have just waited until we were ready to sleep and hand me that water - without all this kissing and touching and moaning."

Aria was surprised when she heard Alex ask about their kiss. She wasn't prepared for that. Those thoughts were like some forbidden area, and she wasn't sure if she wanted to enter that. She debated lying to her face, but something inside her told her to go with the truth and Alex probably could spy a lie anyway which would just crush all her chances at having the answers she needed.

"I -", Aria started and looked Alex in the eye again. She saw how the cocky grin had left her face, and all Aria could see was the anticipation and the tension that Alex's face portrayed so vividly. She didn't want to lie any longer.

"Part of me wanted to go along because I knew I could earn your trust by being closer to you. I knew from that first kiss that you weren't Spencer."

Alex's eyes widened then, and it was almost as if she wanted to say something, but she bit her lip and stayed silent - indicating for Aria to continue.

"The day before – it was just a day or two after the wedding - when you spent the night. You were having troubles sleeping and you stirred in your sleep, so in order to calm you down - to calm who I thought was Spencer down - I took your hand and traced it with my fingers. Anyways, Spencer has this tiny scar just between her thumb and forefinger, it's so small you barely see it. But you notice it. So when I didn't feel it on your hand I got suspicious and then I started to notice more little things, like a mole, or like the difference in the shapes of your eye color.. I didn't know who you were but I had figured out that you weren't Spencer but that you pretended to be her, so I had to find a way to get answers. I wanted to know where Spencer really was, and I wanted to understand why you would take over someone else's life and how you could be so alike and different at the same time. I didn't know at first how I would handle this, if I could handle it. However, I knew the only chance to get information was for you to confide in me. So I kissed you back then, because I knew this was a way for you to trust me fully, so you wouldn't suspect I knew something was up."

She sighed then, and Alex still hadn't said anything. She hadn't interrupted her and Aria knew she was waiting for the other reason to come.

"The other part. I don't know how to explain it."

She paused then, and when her eyes moved to Alex, she wondered if she really was as vulnerable in that moment as she appeared to be.

"I'm not going to tell anyone Aria. I promise. I just want to know."

Her voice had changed then. And Aria couldn't believe how soft and sad it sounded.

"A Part of me wanted to kiss you, Alex. There was even a part of me that didn't want to stop.", she had whispered that last part so quietly that for a moment she thought Alex hadn't heard her - but judging by the surprised look on the girl's face - she had. Aria felt almost ashamed to utter those words out loud, but she also felt a little relieved that they were finally in the open.

"You did? I - Wow. You know I never meant to harm you - in any way. I know I did and I'm sorry for that. I dragged you into this mess. My hatred for Spencer made me lose my mind. I really am sorry. You have to believe that."

Aria exhaled sharply, knowing that five minutes had long passed and she hoped that they wouldn't be interrupted any time soon. She needed this.

"I don't know what to believe, to be honest. I do want to believe it's true, though. I just don't know if I can trust the words you say. It's my turn, by the way. I answered your question. So I want an answer to mine."

When she saw Alex nod in agreement, she directed her question to her.

"Why me? Why did you choose me? Why not Toby, or Caleb or even one of the other girls?"

"Aria.", and Aria's eyelids briefly closed at the sound of her name being said in Alex's British accent.

"I fell in love with you the minute I saw you. And that's not a lie."

Surprise washed over Aria's features and her mouth hung open, but Alex ignored her startled face and went on with her story:

"I thought I loved Wren, I thought what I had with him was the kind of love that conquered all. That was before I knew about _you_. Charlotte showed me some pictures one night in London, told me about her games and that's when I saw you in one of them. I asked her who you were, and she told me everything she knew about you. I was hooked, but I never thought I would ever meet you in person. I forgot about you after that, not really forget, but I started to think less about you. Wren and I were happy for a while, until the Charlotte died when my heart broke into pieces. She was the only real family I ever had. She was everything I had left. She _loved_ me. She was the sister I always wished for. So when I found out that she died, and that Spencer and all of you were back in Rosewood, I became angry. I believed that you guys killed her, so I wanted revenge. I never truly understood why Charlotte loved the games and the torture so much until I was the one controlling it. Having you on my side was a bonus. As soon as I saw you again, I felt so conflicted. I was still captivated by you and I wanted to get to know you, but I feared you were the one killing Charlotte. And then there was Wren. I realized after a while you weren't responsible for her death and when I found that file later on it was my chance to get you on my team. I really did enjoy you having to work for me, and I really did wanted to meet you, but I was scared. When I found out Mona was behind it all I asked Wren to take care of her, but she promised us she would help us with our plan. It was around the time that you and Ezra decided on a day for the wedding, that I knew this was the perfect time for me to kidnap both of them. It was perfect. You would think Ezra would have left you, and then you would fall for me - as the loving and caring best friend. I took care of Wren, I didn't actually wanted him to die, but he left me no choice. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with _you_ , but once again you were the extraordinary and smart woman I started to fall for, and you figured it out, you found a way to trick me."

Aria wanted to say something then. Alex's confession made her feel dizzy and Aria was too confused to place her emotions right. She hesitantly whipped a lonely tear from her face, not believing the words that were spoken. This girl _loved_ her and it seemed like Alex was actually coming clean, laying all her cards on the table, for only Aria to see. She felt the need to say something, but she was overwhelmed with emotions and she didn't know what to answer. It was all so much. The desire to speak was too much to handle though, so she took a step closer and gave Alex a shy, but warm smile.

"Alex -", she began, her voice soft - but before she could say anything further, the door blasted open, a hectic Spencer rushing through it. Caleb rushed behind her, holding onto her arm in an attempt to stop her, but she was already standing next to Aria.

"Thank god you're okay!", Spencer breathed out in relief, eyes narrowed at Alex.

"Five minutes are up. About four times up actually. So this conversation is over now."

Aria stood still. She didn't move, and she didn't turn to Spencer when her friend called out her name, twice. All Aria was able to do, was stare into the affectionate eyes that flashed right back at her, inside a fire so bright she was blinded by – still Aria refused to look away, knowing this could possibly be the last moment she could express to Alex the emotions that were swirling inside of her. At the time she promised herself to come up with some sort of plan to see her again. Somehow the thought of Alex disappearing forever didn't quite sit well with Aria at all.

…

So, Alex confessed her love – and Aria? She is still confused, but somehow charmed and dazzled by Alex's feelings towards her, so she wants to keep an eye on her - What do you think Aria's plan might be? Any ideas?

Please leave some feedback. Much love!


	11. Changing Tides

Hey! Thank you again for all the support and the reviews :) It makes my day! :)

Here comes Chapter 11.. hope you like it :)

...

Aria hadn't yet acknowledged her, and it was driving Spencer crazy how her little friend was still locking eyes with her psychotic twin sister.

"Do you want to talk to her next?" Caleb's words startled her. Did she? Want to talk to her? What would she say anyway? Would anything she said could make Spencer hate her less? She continued to move her eyes between the two girls.

One of them was her best friend who she would do anything for – the other one was some crazy villain who decided to make her life a living hell.

"No, I don't need to talk to her. I just want her gone." Her words laced with ice and she couldn't care less about the flicker of pain in her sister's eyes.

"You know, Alex. We might be related by blood, but you will never be my family – you will never be my sister."

She knew those words would hurt her, at least a little, so she spoke firmly and made her understand that she wasn't in the mood to forgive – and probably never would be. Aria's mouth opened slightly, but she caught her tongue and held her mouth shut. _Maybe for the better_ , Spencer thought.

"Girls, why don't you crash on the couch for some hours? The sun is still not up, and there is no way to bring her somewhere this late at night, or early – whatever – we should deal with this when we actually _can_ take her somewhere. So you two can sleep a little. I know Aria has been awake for probably more than 20 hours, so why don't you rest a little?"

Aria was about to protest, but Caleb wouldn't let her. "Aria just go sleep for a little while please. I slept earlier, and I'm used to being awake at night since it's the perfect time for me to come up with new software. So please – rest a little!"

When Spencer was sure Aria agreed, she took her friend's hand, leading her to the couch. Now, that she had a closer look at her, she noticed the bags under Aria's eyes and how her skin looked a little pale.

"Lay down, Ar. You do look like some kind of zombie.", she attempted to joke, but when she didn't hear Aria laugh, she furrowed her brow in confusion.

Aria just smiled at her apologetically and moved to the couch, stretching her feed, and when Spencer saw her eyes closing, she knew it would only take seconds for her to be asleep. She grabbed a blanket from the armchair and pulled it over Aria's slim frame. She was about to go over the smaller armchair to rest a little herself, when Aria stopped her.

"Spence?", Aria's voice was barely audible, sleep taking almost over.

"Yeah?"

"Can you stay here with me? Please." Spencer marveled if her friend had ever sounded so desperate, or maybe it was just the sleep talking. Nonetheless, she went over to the couch. Kneeling on the floor beside Aria and playing with a loose strand of hair, hoping the troubled girl would soon find rest.

"You can lay down with me, you know?", Aria chuckled then and Spencer smiled.

"C'mon switch places, though. I am pretty sure I will fall to the floor, if I squeeze in here."

Aria, didn't even question her, and moved from the couch, so Spencer could lay down first and Aria in front of her.

"What if I fall to the floor?", Aria asked sleepily and even though Spencer couldn't see her, she was pretty sure her eyes had already fallen shut.

"I will catch you, tiny." And with that she draped an arm over her, securing her in a tight hold. Her own eyes closed. Lavender. Aria's hair still smelled like lavender. That was her last thought before sleep caught up with her as well.

…

"What are the options?", Spencer asked in her professional chief organizer attitude and Aria would have to bid down a laugh if it wasn't for the situation.

"Well, we could always tell the cops.",

"No, you know how useless the police around here is. Next thing, she is walking free again!", Spencer exclaimed and all Aria could do was nod, silently agreeing with her.

"What about an institution?", Aria asked and was met with questioning eyes.

"Like Radley?"

"Yeah. Just - there's this mental institution in Philly. I looked it up." Spencer gave Aria a look that she would say was more than a little surprised, but she brushed it off.

"Philadelphia is so close to Rosewood, though.", Spencer complaint when Caleb spoke up, too.

"Aria's right, Spencer. We shouldn't be driving with her up to New York or something. They can always transfer her from Philadelphia later on. It's better that way."

"Okay. So it's settled."

"I'm going to call Toby.", Caleb announced and Spencer's eyes grew wide.

"Why?"

"Well I'm sure as hell not going to pull her alone into the car and it's too dangerous for you guys to be near her without her being chained somewhere. This is not debatable."

Spencer rolled her eyes, clearly not amused by the idea of having to explain everything to Toby and Aria didn't really want to have more people involved in this than necessary either but she knew Caleb wasn't going to listen to her anyway, so she remained silent and looked up at Caleb, trying to listen to their conversation over the phone.

.

The door bell rang about twenty ministers after Caleb had hung up and Aria sighed, preparing herself for what was to come, as she knew Caleb hadn't really explained everything over the phone. A minute later Toby came through the door, reaching out to Spencer in an instant and bringing her into a tight embrace.

"Thank god, you're okay.", he whispered in a shaky voice and Aria could see how scared he was for Spencer. She turned away slightly, not wanting to intrude in such an intimate moment.

The next time Aria turned, they had let go of each other, but Toby's arm was still around Spencer's waist and Aria wondered if they would rekindle things soon. She didn't know how to feel about that though.

Spencer filled Toby in, and Aria could almost point out in her head when she would hear Toby gasp, or raise an eyebrow in confusion - it was not everyday that someone told you a crazy story like this one.

When Toby had finally calmed down, he had pulled Spencer back into her, whispering something that made her blush slightly. Aria cleared her throat, indicating it was time they moved Alex to the car.

A few minutes later, with minor complications, but a lot of shouting and struggling from Alex, they were on their way to Philadelphia. Aria was driving, Spencer was seated in the passenger seat, and Caleb and Toby held onto Alex with firm grips in the back of the car. Her hands chained together just in case.

.

"Hi. We have a patient in the car.", Spencer explained and Aria was glad she was the one to speak.

"What patient?" The woman at the reception was clearly confused.

"Well, she is new. We would like to transmit her to this institution. She is my sister actually.", and Aria was impressed how easily the words flew out of her mouth.

"And she is alone in the car?"

"No, our friends are there with her. We thought it was too dangerous to just bring her here."

"I - let me get some doctor, okay?" The lady smiled briefly and hurried into one of the halls.

"Do you think they will take her? I mean what do we say? Do we tell the truth?", Aria rambled and Spencer grinned at her amused.

"Calm down, Aria, okay? Everything is going to be fine.", she patted her head and Aria scoffed at the gesture. _She was not a puppy!_

"Ladies.", an elder man approached them and introduced himself as Mr. Clarkson.

"I've heard you have some troubles with your sister?", his eyes went from Aria to Spencer, who spoke up.

"My sister actually. And yes, she is in the car."

Mr. Clarkson sent some nurses and they all made their way to the car.

"Why is she handcuffed?"

"Like I said. She can be dangerous."

But looking down on Alex, there was nothing 'dangerous' to see. She was slumped in between Caleb and Toby, looking scared and shy and didn't even look up at all. Aria knew she was pretending to be the victim, but they couldn't just let her go - could they?

"Miss? Can you step outside?"

Alex whimpered and nodded then, briefly meeting Aria's eyes and a ghost of a smile appeared on her lips. But no one else Clarkson and some of the nurses led her inside the building.

"She can't be serous! She is faking this whole thing! I swear if she is going to walk out of that building I'm putting her into that hole she build to rot myself!"

The moment Spencer's outburst started Aria took a step closer to her friend, already reaching out to her in order to calm her down by grabbing her hands, but she was beaten by Toby whose arms moved around her waist from behind.

"Don't worry. I won't let her hurt you anymore, Spencer."

Aria couldn't help but sigh.

...

They were waiting for over half an hour, and Dr. Clarkson had yet to return to where they sat in the waiting room. Toby's arms were still around her waist, and even though she felt comfort knowing he was there with them, she couldn't help but think about how different this felt compared to a few weeks ago. She wondered where the butterflies and sparks had gone whenever he touched her. She wondered where the tingling feeling was she got whenever she looked at him.

Spencer spotted Aria sitting nervously across from her, tapping her foot up and down, her front teeth nibbling on one of her nails. She wanted to go over there and hold her and make it go away but she didn't know if this was a good time or if she even wanted the company.

"Are you Spencer Hastings?"

She looked up then, and nodded at the far younger doctor that had approached them instead of Dr. Clarkson.

"Hi. I'm Dean Clarkson. My father runs this place. I'm basically his assistant. He is still with your sister but he asked me to talk to you about some things."

"Alone?"

"This is quite confidential information, Ms Hastings."

"I know, I just - Aria, my friend -", she nodded to Aria then, "she got close to Alex. I think she should be there, too. She could help."

"I'm afraid I can't do that without the consent of your sister, I -"

"Well ask her then! This is important! She has to be kept from the outside world!"

Spencer had long left her place on the sofa and was now angrily facing the man almost eye to eye.

"Spence, it's okay.", she felt a warm hand on her arm and looked into Aria's warm eyes.

"You should be in there with me.", she tried to protest but Aria shook her head, giving her arm a tender squeeze.

"I'm right here. Besides, I told you everything you need to know. Go talk to him."

Spender could see Toby was about to stand up as well, and she decided she didn't want to argue anymore over this, so she stepped ahead, following Dean into his office. She tried to brush off the tingling feeling she felt on her arm - it was probably from when Toby had held her, she just hadn't felt it until now.

.

"So, I talked to my father. Your sister doesn't seem to be willing to talk at all. She told us some of her childhood memories and we run through them to check her story, but she won't tell us anything else."

"We told Dr. Clarkson everything we know. It's the truth. She was trying to be me."

"I know. And I want to believe you. I just can't do anything until there is valid proof. Tell me again - from the beginning."

When Spencer finished the story for the third time this morning, she felt exhausted. Dean asked if they had anything to proof that Alex was in fact pretending to be Spencer, so she told him about the scar on her chest and how Alex had let Wren shoot her to look the same. While he admitted it might be strange, he also said it wasn't enough and Spencer scoffed. She thought about it for minute. And then hung her head when she couldn't think of anything else that could really proof their side of the story. Her brain didn't work well with all the lack of sleep and caffeine.

"Can I go back to my friends? Maybe they have something?"

Dean nodded, and not five minutes later they were back in the waiting room.

"Does anyone of you have proof? Proof about what Alex -?"

Caleb stood up abruptly, not even letting Spencer finish.

"I have the tapes! God! How did I forget! It's all there! How she lashes out on us, her screaming, I'm sure even the part where Alex is talking to Aria is on the thing!"

Spencer breathed out in relief, but the second Caleb was about to hand over the computer, Aria suddenly caught his hands.

"Wait!"

Spencer's eyes moved to Aria in question and Toby and Caleb seemed to be very confused as well.

"Can I go over to look with Dean over these tapes? I was there with her when I bombarded her with questions, I just want to go over this with him."

"I will go with you." Spencer offered, not wanting to let her friend go through this alone any longer.

"It's fine, Spence. Just try to relax for a minute, please?"

Spencer was a little surprised when Aria made her stay, but even more so when Dean seemed to allow it. A second thought entered her mind. What if Aria didn't want them to see the tape? Clearly it would show the conversation she had with Alex - but what was so secretive about it that Aria couldn't tell? Was it because Aria wanted to protect her? Spencer guessed she had to wait and see.

...

"It stays under confidential information right? No one else will be allowed to see them?", Aria was nervous about the others finding out about her talk with Alex, and how she told Aria how she fell in love with her. She couldn't imagine her friends seeing the tapes. She would freak out - especially if Spencer or Ezra found out about them.

"Well, for now, I don't think your friends need to know about that particular part of the tape. I will have to talk to your friend and have her sign some papers in order for her sister to stay here, but that's it."

Aria nodded. "Good. Can I ask you something - and you won't tell?"

Dean shrugged. "Sure."

"Is it possible to visit Alex? I mean is it possible for me to visit Alex? Even though I'm not related to her?"

Dean gave her an awkward smile, but didn't ask and Aria knew he must think she was a little crazy by wanting to come by there more often.

"There is a rule that patients cannot be visited for two weeks when they first come here. It's to help them adapt to the new situation in here. It's important to give them space. However, after those two weeks if Alex allows you to visit, and wants to talk to you - then yes it is possible."

"Okay. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Let's go back to your friends."

Spencer's eyes were focused on Aria, when she and Dean returned. Aria knew Spencer was not going to let this go, but she was sure she could come with some little excuse. Dean prepared the papers, and after explaining everything to them and Spencer signing them, they were finally good to go.

The car ride back to her place was silent. Toby had offered to drive as he saw how exhausted Aria was and Caleb was sitting in the front next to him. The two girls were both sitting in the back, but Aria felt like there was a huge distance between them even though they were so close to each other. Tired of thinking, she rested her head to the window and closed her eyes.

When she woke up she noticed that she was sleeping in her own bed. As she turned, she could see Spencer sleeping peacefully beside her. She moved to look up the time on her phone. It was around 5 in the afternoon. Being awake for so long and then sleep during the day, truly would mess with her sleep schedule. She didn't feel tired anymore and Aria briefly wondered if Ezra had stopped by. She hadn't received a text or call from him, and even though a part of her felt relieved another part also hurt. She decide to worry about Ezra later, though.

She carefully made her way into the kitchen to make some tea. She let the hot drink calm her nerves and sat on the couch, replaying the previous events in her mind.

"Do you mind?", Spencer smiled at her from her standing posting, a coffee in her hands, and Aria wondered how long she had been awake. She patted the seat beside her, moving her legs to make room for her.

"Where are the others?", Aria asked her friend.

"Caleb went home and Toby wanted me to go home with him, but I didn't want you to stay here by yourself."

"Spence, if you wanted to go to Toby's, you shouldn't have just stayed because of me." Aria felt bad then for being the reason Spencer had passed on a chance to talk to Toby alone. She almost felt like she was the one in the way of Spencer and Toby reconnecting.

"Don't talk like that, Aria. I wanted to be here." Spencer's hand reached for hers and both smiled at the gesture.

"So. When are we telling Hanna, Em and Ali?"

"Tonight? I mean I know we were going to have brunch together anyway but I just feel the sooner we tell them the better."

"Yeah. They will be so pissed, though. Especially at me 'cause I was the one who decided to go solo."

"Aria, you did it to protect them. They will understand. I did."

"I hope they will."

...

"I don't believe this!", Hanna exclaimed and accusingly directed a finger towards Aria.

"How could you put yourself in danger like that? How could Caleb not tell me anything?"

"I didn't want you to worry, Han. You had enough going on. I'm sorry. I just wanted to protect you guys."

Aria shifted on her spot on the couch, she had expected that this conversation wouldn't go without somebody getting hurt.

"We could've helped you, Aria! How could you just go inside the lion's cave like that? You didn't even take Caleb with you!"

"I had to keep him safe because of Hanna, Emily! I wasn't about to let him get killed! I didn't want anything happen to you guys!"

"Oh! You're so heroic, Aria! Did you for a minute try to imagine what could have happened if there had been more than one crazy person involved?" It was now Alison who yelled out at Aria. Clearly, the only reason they were so mad at her, was because she had taken a huge risk in saving Ezra and Spencer, throwing her life on the line, and all her friends wanted to was to keep her safe. But it had been Spencer and Ezra that she had been worrying about, so she didn't regret her choices at all.

Emily was pacing around the room, Hanna had her arms crossed around her chest, looking away from her, and Alison was waving her hands in front of her, still lashing out on her for being so selfish. Spencer didn't say anything, only being there to support Aria and brushing her hand against hers. Aria was glad her taller friend didn't try to interfere. Their friends needed this, they needed to get their anger out and Aria was patient enough to grand them this moment.

When Aria knew that they had finally all finished their speeches and lectures, she tried to make them understand one more time.

"Look, I get that you are angry. But, you have to understand, I did not just risk everything, okay? I thought about it. I came up with a plan. I had it under control. I called Caleb to be there just in case. I had to do something, and I didn't want anyone of to get sucked in again in AD's drama. I had to find Spencer. I had to know about Ezra. I am sorry I didn't tell you guys. But I don't regret this. How can I when they are both safe? I would have done it for any of you. I love you too much to let you get hurt."

The girls had tears in their eyes by then and eventuality let go of their anger. They stood around Aria and brought their little friend into a group hug. Spencer joined as well and stood behind Aria, whispering softly into her ear: "Told you they would forgive you, little big one."

...

So hope you liked that! Next chapters will deal with Aria having to deal with Ezra; Alex being treated in Philly, while Aria pays her a visit; and Spencer coming clean with all those confusing feelings for Aria ..

Leave some words. Much love :)


	12. Nobody said it was easy

Here is Chapter 12 for you!

Thank you again for all the reviews! I do write this story for you guys, so every comment is gold, please remember that! I am glad when you like the story and want to see more, so please keep up sending me feedback! I read through every single review and I'm sorry if I don't always respond personally, but life is just catching up, and I have barely time to go on with writing, but I just have all these ideas and I don't want you to wait too long :)

Enough rambling...

Enjoy :)

...

"I heard from Ezra.", the comfortable silence was broken, and Spencer shifted on the couch, distancing herself from Aria and pausing the movie.

"And?" Spencer grew nervous. Ezra hadn't been to the apartment for a week, and despite Aria's protest in the beginning, Spencer had stayed with her every night. She wouldn't admit it out loud, but she had grown to love the nights spend on Aria's couch, talking about life and the future, and their friendship. She had gotten used to visits from Hanna, and Emily and Alison and she felt like their friendship was never stronger. A had finally left their lives - for good this time and she was so grateful for her friends to be there for the aftermath of everything. Especially, for Aria being there for her. Spencer had found safety in the way, they would hold each other at night, both trying to cope with the previous events, and both trusting the other with everything in them. Hearing Ezra had called Aria, Spencer feared this would all be over. She was scared that Aria was going to move forward with Ezra. Technically, her friend was still engaged to him and Aria hadn't exactly made clear if she still wanted to walk down the aisle with Ezra or if she wanted to work on their – what Spencer refereed to as toxic – relationship.

"He is coming over tomorrow. And we're going to talk about things, about us."

Somehow this was not enough for Spencer. What did Aria mean by this? Would they talk and try to work things out? Would they talk and decide that it was for the better to take a break, a step back?

"I just don't know what to say to him, Spence. I don't know what he wants anymore." Aria's eyes filled with tears, and despite her clenching heart, Spencer couldn't stand the sight of her best friend hurting. She took the tiny girl into her arms, hoping to give her the same feeling she got whenever Aria comforted her.

"Aria," Spencer started, and she tried to lock eyes with her. "I think it is time to stop what everybody else wants. You should try to think of what _you_ really want."

She nodded, more tears streaming down her cheeks, soaking into Spencer's shirt.

"Shh.", Spencer soothed. "I'm here, Ar. It's okay. We don't have to talk about this can talk about something else."

She felt the smaller girl shook her head that was still buried into her shoulder. Aria looked up then, and for the first time after everything fell down Spencer could see determination in the familiar hazel eyes.

"I want to make it work. I have to make it work."

And it was in that exact moment that Spencer heard the loud cracking of her heart.

…

Exactly sixteen days had passed since Aria had last seen Alex. She remembered Dean telling her that she could come visit her after the probation time of two weeks, but Aria hadn't managed to bring herself to even call the Byberry institution in order to make an appointment.

"Hey beautiful.", a voice beside her spoke and she turned around in bed to look into Ezra's eyes.

"Hey." She pecked him on the lips, and went to stand up, but Ezra's arms came around her waist, pulling her back to him, kissing her neck softly. Weeks ago, she would've welcomed this, she would've turned in his arms and kissed back, but now everything felt so forced between them. She kept on hoping that things would get better, but the longer she pretended to be happy with their relationship, the worse things got. And to add to all this chaos inside her, Ezra was being extra sweet, treating her like some porcelain doll that would break any minute. They still hadn't rearranged a day for the wedding and they had yet to talk about the big elephant in the room. Ezra had said it didn't matter that Aria couldn't have kids, that they would find a way – adopting or looking for a surrogate – but she still felt like this was affecting him more than he would admit.

"I have to go meet Spencer. I promised her to help her out at the Lost Woods.", the second those words left her mouth, Ezra let go of her completely, starring at her with a questioning glance.

"Seriously? You've been with Spencer this whole time! Until two days ago she basically crashed on our couch for a week! And when I woke up, you weren't even next to me in bed, but comforting her because she once again wasn't able to sleep alone!"

Aria wanted to say something then. Ezra might have been right about things, but he had to understand where she was coming from. She couldn't just let her friend be on her own in times like these.

"Ezra - "

"No! I know she is not herself right now. She needs help! I get that. But let Toby take care of her, let your friends be there for her, for god's sake send her to some therapy sessions! I know she is your friend. I know that. But if this relationship is going to work, we need to spend time together, Aria! You can't constantly choose your friends over me! It doesn't work like that!"

He was pacing around the room and had swung a shirt over his body. Aria could see he was still fuming, but so was she.

"Seriously? Ezra, she just lost her mother to prison, and the twin sister she didn't even know about is treated in some psych institution right around the corner! She doesn't feel comfortable around Toby after what happened with Alex and the other girls don't know half of what she has been through! If she wants me to be to be there to help her get through this, then I will! She would do the same for me. I'm getting tired of defending my friendships to you with the girls that have been there in times you abandoned me!"

Aria had stood up from the bed as well. She might be small but she was steaming with anger, and she was furious Ezra couldn't understand that she had to be their for her friend. She was still a little mad at him for disappearing for a whole week after that fight when she wanted to talk to Alex alone and if she was honest with herself she still wasn't sure if their relationship would survive all the drama that they had been through.

"Just go, Aria. If this is what you want, just leave. But we will never be able to fix anything if we never see each other."

His tone had changed and Aria could see the frustration and sadness in his eyes. She felt bad for yelling at him and stepped forward, moving her arms around him and she laid her head on his chest for a moment. She still felt safe with him, but something had changed and she was not sure what had. He didn't say anything, but he moved his arms around her small frame, holding her there and pressing a tender kiss on her head. She stood on her toes then and reached his cheek to kiss him softly.

"I'm sorry. We will talk later. I won't be late. Promise.", she spoke into his ear, and turned, grabbing a towel on her way and closed the bathroom door.

When she was finished and was ready to go, she spotted him on their bed reading, his back turned towards her. She sighed. He was too focused on his book to even look up or turn. She walked towards the door and left, her heels clicking on the hardwood floor. She didn't look back.

…

"Spencer?" She had let herself in, when she didn't got a response after ringing the doorbell, but there was no sight of her brunette friend.

She stepped further into the small complex, looking around the place to spot if someone had been there. She had already checked the stalls, and realized the horses hadn't been fed so after finishing that she went through the building to look for Spencer, but she still hadn't found her. She tried calling her again, but it went straight to voicemail. Aria was about to give up, as she was currently walking through one of the halls. She was ready to leave in case Spencer might be at her place in the barn, when she heard something. She could barely make out the noise, but as she got closer, she could hear someone whimpering. Panic kicked in and Aria rushed to where the voice came from, opening the door without so much of a knock. The sight broke her.

Spencer was lying on the king-sized bed, eyes closed, but she was shaking uncontrollably, and Aria noticed the drops of sweat lingering on her pale skin. She rushed to her friend's side. Caressing her hand over her cheek in a tender touch, she used her sleeve of the other arm to stripe off the line of sweat that had formed on Spencer's forehead and replaced it with the back of her hand. Shocked, she pulled her hand away. Spencer was burning. She rushed into the bathroom, letting water stream onto one of the washcloth and returned to Spencer's side, carefully dabbing her skin with the cool water. Spencer's eyes opened heavily and a small smile tugged her lips when she made eye contact with Aria.

"Hey, sleepyhead." Aria chuckled, despite worrying about her friend.

Spencer nodded, clearly not able to speak. Aria knew then something was definitely wrong. Normally, Spencer would have bolted out of bed, apologizing numerous times for having lost track, but all she did was looking at Aria, as if she was waiting for Aria to fix her.

"You're burning, Spence. I think you have a fever. Do you have some Tylenol in here?"

Spencer slightly nodded her head towards the door and Aria knew she wouldn't get anything more out of her. She rushed through the complex into one of the bathrooms, and was relieved when she found what she was looking for. She was a little relieved that there were no guests as a cold wave had hit Rosewood and it wasn't the most appealing weather to stay at a ranch.

She went into the kitchen, filled a glass with water and returned to Spencer, who had closed her eyes again.

"Spence, come on. Sit up a little." Aria helped Spencer to a sitting position, adjusting the cushions so she would still be comfortable and handing her the medication. She was glad when Spencer succeeded in swallowing it and helped her to take some sips of water with it.

"I'll make you some tea, alright?"

She was about to stand up again, when she felt a hand around her wrist.

"Horses.", Spencer let out and Aria smiled. "I took care of them. And I will have someone call to help me out in here today, okay? All you are allowed to do is rest."

A few hours later Aria had managed to organize and take care of most of the stuff around the ranch and she decided to check back on Spencer, who had fallen into another deep sleep after drinking some of the tea Aria had prepared.

When she entered the room, Spencer was breathing normally and Aria was glad that she could feel the fever had dropped. She was about to stand up again to tidy up a bit and clean some more around the house, when she felt Spencer grab a hold of her arm.

"Stay, please.", her voice sounded a little bit stronger and she had gained back some color as well.

Aria moved to sit on the bed next to Spencer, stretching out her legs, as the older girl squeezed over slightly, having her head turned to Aria and moving so her hair was brushing against Aria's thighs. Aria trailed her hand through Spencer's long locks, trying to sooth the troubled girl. Somehow she knew it wasn't just the cold that was bothering her.

"Are you okay?", she whispered and she could feel Spencer's head moving against her.

"Not really."

Aria didn't stop to brush through her friends hair, but she looked down at her with a concerned look, waiting for her to continue.

"I dreamt about Alex again. That she took me, and that she took you, too. And then she - and I couldn't save you and nobody knew I was in there and I - "

"Shh.", Aria soothed, lowering her own body, so she could adjust Spencer's body to move her head to her lap, running one hand over her back, while the other one played with strands of long hair.

"You're safe, Spence. I'm here. And Alex can't hurt us anymore. She is locked away."

"You don't know that. You don't know if she still there – or if she escaped." Spencer was shaking under Aria's touch, and even though Aria pulled the thick blanket tighter around the slim body, she wouldn't stop.

"Spencer, she is there. I don't think she could've escaped when she is under observation 24/7."

"Mona escaped. Cece escaped. Even I managed to escape.", came the broken whisper, followed by sobs.

"I will call, okay? Right here. I will call Dr. Clarkson and ask if everything is okay. Sounds good? I will stay here with you, Spence. Don't worry ok."

Spencer's eyes widened and Aria couldn't tell if she saw fear flickering in her eyes, but Aria brushed it off when Spencer didn't protest and pulled out her phone, dialing the number she had somehow memorized.

"Hello?", a nurse picked up and Aria grew nervous.

"Hi. This is Aria Montgomery. I'm calling to check on a patient."

"Patient's Name?"

"Alex Drake."

"What was your name again?"  
"Aria Montgomery, I'm here with Spencer Hastings, her sister. We were there when she was admitted.

"Hold on a second."

From her spot on Aria's lap Spencer looked up, signaling without words that she wanted to listen to this, and as Aria hit the speaker button, she hoped nothing would happen that could bring her into trouble.

"Miss Montgomery?"

"Yes?"

"I spoke with Dr. Clarkson. I'm not allowed to give you a detailed statement about her condition, but I can tell you that Alex Drake is being treated and is allowed to receive visitations if desired. You can make an appointment any time and he would run through the details with you. Do you wish to make one now?"

"Ehm, no. No, thank you. I – I will call."

"Okay, that is fine."

"Thank you. Bye."

Aria hung up the phone quickly and wasn't surprised when she saw the way Spencer's forehead wrinkled in confusion.

"That was odd. Why would she ask you if you wanted to visit? Does they not know we don't want anything to with her again?!"

Aria tried not flinch at Spencer's tone. "Spence, calm down. This is probably just a routine. Don't worry about that. The point is, you are safe – she is not going anywhere and you don't have to fear of her ever laying a finger on you again, ok?"

Clearly too exhausted to come up with a witty response, Spencer nodded, snuggling into the warm of the mattress, looking up at Aria as to tell her to continue to run her hand soothingly through her hair again.

"Thank you.", she heard Spencer whisper and her free hand was cupped with one of her friend's. "Thank you for doing that. I know it must have been a little hard."

Aria gave the other hand a light squeeze. "It's okay, you focus on getting better, okay?"

When she was sure Spencer was asleep, she left the room as quietly as possible and sat down on one of the sofas in the lounge room, playing with a loose end of her shirt.

"Aria?", he picked up at the third ring. "Where are you?"

"Ezra, I -"

"Don't tell me you're still with Spencer. Aria I thought you said you were going to be home early! I thought we could order in and watch a movie or talk! Come home!"

"Ezra, I can't. Spencer has some kind of flu. I found her burning up earlier this morning and I need to take care of some things here at the Lost Woods."

"Call Alison. Isn't she supposed to run this whole thing together with Spencer, anyway? Or call her mother – or Toby! I don't really care who you call – just call someone to take over for you and come home. Now, Aria!"

"You cannot tell me what to do! You cannot just order me around, Ezra!"

"Aria if we want this to work, we have to talk about things! If you're not here in the next thirty minutes I will pick you up with my bare hands!", he started screaming again and for a moment Aria was afraid that he would really show up there and drag her all the way back to their apartment.

"Don't be ridiculous, Ezra. It's one night. I will be home tomorrow."

"Aria, you just don't understand, do you? It's not going to be done tomorrow - next thing, Spencer's nightmares start again and she is back on our couch! I dealt with it for a week and I held my tongue, but Aria this has to stop! You're going to be my wife Aria! You belong here – with me!"

"I'm not going to let you badmouth my friends. Calm down and we will talk tomorrow. I'm getting sick of you acting like a four year old who wants his stupid toy back. I cannot believe you are jealous of my best friend."

"I'm not freaking jealous, Aria!", she heard him yell into the phone. "It just feels like you give a crap about me and this relationship! Ever since I came back to the apartment you are so freaking distant! I know I should've come home earlier, but I was pissed that you didn't listen to me and talked to that psych! You told me, you want us to work this out, but as time passes I feel like you don't even care about moving on! I'm tired of constantly having to reach out to you! I cannot fix this all by myself!"

"Maybe I'm done! Maybe I don't want to fix this anymore!", she yelled into her phone, anger swirling through her body and it was in that moment that the world stood still. She could hear Ezra's heavy breathing on the other end of the line.

Silence. Nobody spoke, and Aria could not believe the words that left her mouth. Did she really feel that way? Did she not want to try and save their relationship? They had been together for as long as she could remember. He was her first in so many ways and she feared to give up the memories they shared. But on the other hand, she hadn't felt truly connected to him since long before the Alex-Drama had started. Hearing the news of her never being able to get pregnant had only been an additional weight to things, and Aria wondered if between the stress of preparing the wedding and her attempts to look for a second and third opinion she hadn't paid attention how her relationship with Ezra had suffered from all the A-drama, from her having kept that file a secret...

It was after a long pause that she heard rustling on the other line. And then she heard his voice again.

"Aria.", and his voice was extremely calm all of the sudden. All traces of anger gone, fear lacing through the way he spoke her name and she could picture him as he sat down, running a hand through his short hair. She knew him in and out. She knew everything about him and she knew she loved him. She did – with all her heart. She just didn't know if it was the kind of love that made you want to get married, grew old, spend the rest of their lives together. And that scared her, more than anything, because even though there had been heartbreaks, and fear and loss – she knew that Ezra Fitz was the one constant thing in her life – but now she wasn't so sure anymore.

"Aria.", she heard him say her name again. And it broke her heart a little to listen to his desperate pleads. "Do you even want this to work?"

There it was. Give or Take. And Aria had never thought she could make such a decision over a phone, in a time slot of seconds – and she settled then that she couldn't. Too much had happened for her to make such a bold move.

"I don't know.", she answered honestly. "I need time. I need time to think about things. _Really_ think about things. I'm sorry. God, I don't know what I am doing. I just - Can you give that to me? Can you give me time?"

Tears were streaming down Aria's face and even though nothing was decided yet she heard her heart break, she felt a part of her life vanish and she feared she would be feeling this hollow for the rest of her life.

"Yes. As long as you need. I love you, Aria. I want this to work. We can start slow again. Whatever you want, but please don't give up on us. Don't give up on me."

Her whimpering had transformed to loud sobs and she tried to breath properly.

"I love you, too, Ezra. I just – I need this. I need to know what I am feeling. And I have to do this on my own. It is not fair to you to stand by and hope. I have to try and figure this out by myself. I do love you. I do. I just need time to find myself again and see where I wanna be. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

"It's okay, Aria. I love you. Just please, don't shut me out. I will give you as much time as you need, I will leave the apartment if you want, but - "

"No! You should stay. I – I can grab a bag tomorrow and – God, why is this so hard?"

"I don't know, Baby. I don't know what is going on in that head of yours but I understand. I will be at work tomorrow, so you can – you can take whatever you want, just please let me know you're safe."

"I will. I will talk to you soon. I love you. I do.", even though things were falling apart she still felt the need to say this. She wasn't sure it was because she felt like she needed to reassure him or herself.

"Aria. I'm scared. I can't help but feel like I'm losing you."

"I'm scared, too, Ezra. And – I'm sorry. You have to believe me. This hurts me as much as it hurts you. But maybe this is for the better, maybe after this things will be better for us. I hope so. I really do."

"I will give you space, I will try to understand. Goodnight, beautiful."

"Goodnight.", and somehow this felt so much heavier than ending a phone call.

…

I hope the strong Sparia shipper can forgive me that there was a lot of Ezra/Aria talking in this, but weather you like his character or not Ezra has become such an important part of Aria's life that it would not be fitting and so out of character for Aria to just break things off with him without being emotional about it.

Next there will be definitely more Spencer/Aria interaction, and I will try to include the other girls :) and soon Aria won't stand it anymore and will pay Alex a visit!

Leave some words. Good / Bad – Just tell me what you think.

Much love.


	13. Memories

Here is Chapter 13

I can't thank you enough for all your kind words! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

To celebrate all your feedback here comes an extra long Chapter - It's around 5000! Words - Longest Chapter I have ever written! Yey!

I apologize in advance to everyone who is waiting for Alex to make an appearance but I didn't think this chapter would end up being so long, so Alex will hopefully be in the next Chapter!

This chapter is going to focus on Spencer and her memorizing their night in DC and what happened when Aria came to visit! A lot of you asked in the reviews to have Spencer think about it and so here it is. Flashbacks are written in italics, obviously.

So enjoy a chapter truly devoted to Spencer's thoughts and her remembering what happened, all while coming to terms with her feelings..

Enjoy!

...

"Aria?"

Spencer's voice laced with worry at the sight of the small woman sobbing in the corner of her room. She approached her carefully, not wanting to scare her, as she had her head buried in her arms. She moved to touch her, wanting her to know that she wasn't alone but Aria flinched, moving her body away from Spencer.

"Aria. It's me.", she tried once more, and Aria lifted her head slightly, her burning eyes starring into Spencer's and Spencer's heart broke for her best friend. She felt much better after taken the tea and the medicine Aria gave her, and felt strong enough to lift the broken girl into her arms as she was sure that the floor wasn't the most comfortable place but Aria would't move. Curling an arm carefully under the small woman's knees, she secured another arm around her back, moving them to the king-sized bed. In an instant, Aria had curled into Spencer's touch, her mouth gracing Spencer's exposed skin just below her neck and Spencer drew in a short breath at the tickling sensation.

When they reached the bed, she tucked in the crying girl, scooting next to her and tightening the hold on her, as she stroked the girl's damp hair, hoping she would soon find rest. While she tried to smooth away Aria's troubles, Spencer couldn't help the irony of the whole situation. After the reveal of Alex as AD, both her and Aria seemed to take turns in reaching breaking points. It was only a matter of time until one of them cracked again and it made Spencer realize the heavy weight of the aftermath that came with answers.

After finding out about Alex, Spencer had thought that things would finally get back to normal. That their lives were free from the pain and the devastation of events. However, every passing day was proof that she was not okay. It was proof that her best friend was not okay either, and that both of them had to tackle a long way of recovery. Still, Spencer couldn't think of another person in the world she would want by her side. Aria had become much more than just a friend over the course of the years, and while she wouldn't give up her friendships with Hanna, Emily or even Alison for anything in the world, her feelings for Aria had shifted in the last few weeks. Maybe it was the way they both held onto each other at night, in a way that there was barely an inch between them, so intimate that Spencer's heart fluttered when Aria's breath would press to her skin. It reminded her of the feelings she got when she first started dating Toby, but somehow it felt so much more intimate than anything she had ever felt before. Looking back at her relationships, she only really considered Alex, Toby and Caleb to count as _boyfriends_ , as the other men in her life had just been flings not really worth thinking about.

Alex was in a way her first love, but all the same it was an innocent, childish kind of affection that was never supposed to last any longer than it had.

Being with Caleb made Spencer realize that the world wouldn't crash if she wasn't with Toby. It was nice to start a relationship with someone she had known for such a long time, but even though Caleb and her fit, their relationship being adventurous, and sexy and different, she knew deep down it was _not_ forever. Caleb's true love was Hanna, and Spencer knew he wasn't hers either.

Toby, was different. He had been there from early on. Having an insight to Spencer Hastings that she granted few people to witness. He was the first to make her brave enough to whisper the three magical words, he was the first she trusted to be with in the most intimate way possible, he was the first one Spencer thought of creating a life with. There was a time in Spencer's life when Spencer imagined their future together. Living in a house he would built for her and their family, and seeing kids running around their garden. She had loved the idea of them growing old together and had been sure he was the one for her. But somehow they hadn't been able to get through this. After their pregnancy scare everything fell apart. The relief she felt when the stick told them she wasn't pregnant was almost too empowering as it made Toby's heart break and shutter in pieces. She had seen in his eyes that a part of him wanted this. A part of him had wanted to start a family at that point, but Spencer didn't. It wasn't long before they couldn't make it work anymore.

Lost in her thoughts, Spencer looked down at Aria. She had finally drifted off into a hopefully peaceful sleep, but Spencer couldn't stop caressing her slim frame, wanting her to feel her presence. She remembered how she was the one to pull her out off the darkness after her brutal break up with Toby. She didn't know who else to call. Somehow, it had always been Aria who understood heartbreak the most.

" _Spencer?", her voice sang through the phone while Spencer could hear the surprising but excited tone in her voice. And even though she had barely slept in the last few weeks and had cried more times and in the other 20 years of her life, she felt a tiny pit of joy at hearing her friend's voice._

" _Aria.", she let out, failing to say all the words she wanted to. She had barely talked to anyone since Toby had decided for them to take a step back. He felt like they weren't on the same page anymore, and he told her he didn't want to be in her way of achieving the tings she strived for. They had argued all night, but Toby's decision to end their relationship was final, leaving Spencer devastated._

" _Is everything okay?", Aria's tone had shifted from joyful to alarmed and Spencer was amazed how well Aria could read her even though they were thousand miles away from each other._

" _I don't know.", she spoke quietly, gripping her phone as it was the end of a life line. "_ _No. It's not.", she concluded, forcing her eyes to stay close and preventing the pressing tears from falling._

" _What happened?" Spencer could picture Aria growing nervous; she was probably biting her lip and pacing nervously around her room._

" _I - ", she couldn't do this over the phone. She didn't want to end up in tears again. Suddenly she wasn't even sure why she called. How was Aria supposed to fix her anyway when she wasn't even in the same state but somewhere in the deep south? What had she been thinking?_

" _Aria, I'm sorry. I don't know why I called. This was probably not a good idea. I just - I'm really glad you're okay. I will text you, soon, and - "_

 _"Spencer!", she heard Aria practically yell into the phone from the other side and she bit down a small chuckle at her violent tone._

 _"Do you want me to visit?", the words were rushed out, preventing Spencer from hanging up. Spencer stood still for a moment. Did she want to? Almost two years had passed since she had last seen Aria in person. They had all wanted to meet for Christmas in Rosewood last year but in the end Aria couldn't make it because she and her family had spent Christmas with Mike who was currently staged at the military in Utah. Spencer had loved seeing everyone again, and things with Toby were still perfect at that time, but she had felt the absent presence of her tiny friend._

" _Are you still there? If it is not a good time, I can understand."_

 _This was it. Spencer could tell her that she was busy with exams and that she needed time to come to terms with things but she would promise to call Aria soon and would tell her not to worry. She would just say she would like to have reunion soon, but that she was just struggling with university. And maybe those were empty promises, but someday maybe she would actually call again. Aria would probably understand, she had probably enough on her mind, and she surely didn't truly care that much about Spencer anyway, not since their friendship had slipped through the distance and the passing time. Aria could handle a No._

" _Please come." This was not what Spencer wanted to say at all! The words had left Spencer's mouth in a moment of trance. Maybe it was in a moment of weakness, but the words were out there and there was no turning back._

" _I'm going to book a flight and I'm coming over for next weekend, okay? Whatever it is, you're going to get through this, Spence. You - ", Aria stopped talking then and Spencer could suddenly hear voices in the background. "Listen,", Aria spoke into phone a second later. "I really have to go now. I got to finish this presentation, but I am going to book that flight, okay? And don't tell me not to, unless you're not there that weekend because then it would be pointless to visit, you know? Anyway, I will text you the details as soon as I can. See you soon, Spence. I miss you." Aria had rambled so fast into the phone that Spencer couldn't have interrupted her flow of speech even if she had tried._

" _See you soon.",She spoke into the phone quickly and heard the soft click indicating Aria had hung up. She looked at the phone at a moment and sighed, but this time it was more of a content sigh, because the weight of the last weeks felt suddenly a little lighter that day._

Spencer smiled at the distant memory. She had promised herself to let the memory stay far in the back of her mind, but since the day she had told Alex about Aria's visit in DC, she couldn't stop thinking about it, and a small part of her that was growing and growing throughout the course of time, didn't want to forget, but embrace it. Her fingers were still brushing through her sleeping friend's hair in a loving touch as she thought about the weekend Aria had finally come visit her.

" _Spencer!", the tiny brunette squealed as soon as Spencer opened her door and moments later Spencer felt a warm feeling surround her shaking frame. Tiny arms held tightly onto her tall, slim frame and a head was pressed into her front. Spencer closed her eyes for a moment. Placing her own arms around the body that clung to her and rested her head against Aria's. She had missed this. She hadn't known how much she had missed this, until Aria was pressed against her so tightly that there was barely an inch of distance between them. Just as Spencer was about to close her eyes and fall into the comfort of her friend's arms, Aria stepped out of their embrace, grinning up at her._

" _Come on, show me around!", Aria threw her bag carelessly into a corner of Spencer's room and Spencer was about to tell her to put it on the desk and not just leave it on the floor, when she felt Aria's hand reach for hers, dragging her into the hallway. And just like that tidiness didn't matter anymore._

 _They took the metro to get into the city and Spencer explained Aria the history of Washington and the buildings' architecture and took her to the White House. She showed her her favorite restaurant and went with her to her favorite spot in the par. Aria's arm was intertwined with hers the whole time and Spencer couldn't help but feel happy with the way Aria's eyes lit up when she talked about the city and why Spencer had grown to love it there. She had noted how differently Aria reacted to Spencer's admiration of the city compared to Toby. When he had visited her in the beginning she tried to drag him around town, but somehow Toby didn't really seem interested. He rather talked about Rosewood and how he wished they could go back together and start their lives as one. Back then, Spencer had thought it was romantic but in that moment, as she saw the way Aria smiled whenever Spencer told her about a part of the city she liked, she didn't really think anymore that Toby had been romantic but rather just annoyed with Washington._

 _Even though Spencer was not in a mood to go out and party until the early morning hours, Aria had practically forced her to one of the dorm parties down the hall. Spencer didn't even know the people that were chatting in the small room, filling up cups or playing beer pong in the kitchen. She stood next to Aria who was engaged in some conversation with James, the guy who had invited them to come over earlier and Spencer nervously sipped on her drink; trying to think of the last time she had alcohol burning down her throat._

" _Hey, what's up?" She turned around to see a tall, blonde guy approach her with her smirk. She could tell by the way his breath smelled that he had had his fair share of alcohol already._

" _I'm good. Thanks." She turned to Aria for support, clearly not interested in chatting with a stranger, but her friend didn't seem to notice Spencer as she laughed about something James had said._

" _You're friend seems busy." He winked and Spencer rolled her eyes. "Yeah."_

" _I'm Matthew, by the way.", he offered his hand, and Spencer took it hesitantly._

" _Spencer."_

 _It turned out talking to Matthew wasn't as bad as she thought as he had just wanted to start a conversation because his group of friends had left to go to some club. Still, Spencer couldn't stop stealing glances at Aria and the way her friend leaned into her new found friend. Spencer knew deep down Aria was still hurting over Ezra, but she didn't think Aria would flirt so shamelessly with the first guy who showed interest._

" _Jealous?"_

" _What?", Spencer turned her eyes away from Aria and looked at Matthiew._

" _The way you are looking at those two is adorable. Are you into him?", he drank some of his coke, having explained that he should cut down on the alcohol and was chuckling at Spencer._

" _No.", Spencer replied firmly, rolling her eyes when he raised an eyebrow._

" _So you are into her then?"_

" _What? No! Aria is my friend. I'm not gay, or bisexual or whatever. I am not.", the way she rushed out those words defensively made Matthew laugh louder._

" _Okay, slow down. You know, it shouldn't really be about labelling things. I know you said you're not gay, but I don't know why people put a label on anything? I mean it should be about the person, right? About character and being attracted to someone and about chemistry? I had a friend who had been straight as an arrow all her life, and then boom she met this one girl on a trip to Europe at the end of college and she knows she is the love of her life. And she swears it is the only woman she has ever really felt attracted to until today. She doesn't faint over women in magazines like she might do when she sees a famous male celebrity exposed with a six pick, but her wife – she says she is the most precious thing on earth. I think that alone is proof that we have it all wrong."_

" _That's a really touching story." The alcohol has stopped to burn and her eyes were fixed on Aria. Somehow Matthew's words didn't leave her mind._

" _It wouldn't be the worst thing in the world to fall in love with a friend, you know." Spencer heard Matthew say and she had already turned around to tell him once more that she didn't have feelings for Aria when she saw him stand up from the couch they shared. "Don't, Spencer. Just think about. I actually have to go now, but it was nice talking to you. See you around. And don't be a stranger." He smiled at her before disappearing into the crowd, moving his way outside the small dorm._

" _Spence!", she heard someone squeal and suddenly Aria had smashed a wet kiss on her cheek and arms circled her in. Aria nuzzled her face into Spencer and her breath tickled her on the side of her neck. Aria swayed them back and force to the rhythm of the music playing in the background, giggling at the movement, and Spencer had to stop Aria from moving as it was starting to make her feel dizzy._

" _Where is James?", Spencer asked and she didn't even try to hide the cynical tone in her voice when saying the guy's name._

 _Aria didn't seem to notice anyway as she shrugged her shoulders and snuggled into the warmth of Spencer again. "You're warm and soft. Like a big teddy bear."_

 _Spencer laughed, patting Aria on the head. "I am so not a teddy bear."_

" _Yeah! You are!" Suddenly Aria leaped up from the couch. "We need shots!" Spencer was about to argue as she could already feel the room moving, but Aria had already returned with two shots for each of them and gave her smile so wide Spencer couldn't resist._

 _..._

" _Why are boys so stupid?" Both girls were sort of stumbling into the direction of Spencer's dorm, swaying drunken from side to side, and Aria had to hold on to Spencer for support so she wouldn't fall._

" _It's because they have a penis.", Spencer snorted and Aria chuckled._

" _Home sweet home.", Spencer breathed out as she fumbled for the keys that were buried inside her purse. Aria was bouncing up and down the hallway when suddenly she started yelling: "Boys are stupid because they have a penis!" Spencer's eyes grew wide at the volume of Aria's voice, and in an instant opened the door, dragging Aria inside the room and closing the dorm. She was relieved that her roommate was staying at her boyfriend's apartment for the weekend and had offered Aria her bed._

 _She was about to say something, when suddenly she felt arms coming up from behind and a head pressed into her back. "I missed you, Spence." She smiled at Aria's words and turned to face the smaller girl whose arms were still around her._

" _I missed you, too. I'm sorry I didn't call more often."_

" _It's okay.", Spencer had told Aria about the messy break up with Toby before in the park and Aria had comforted her in the best way she could._

 _Aria grinned up at her and Spencer tucked back a strand of hair that had fallen in front of her face._

" _Can I ask you something?" She was suddenly nervous. Matthew's words were still circling in her mind and the way Aria clung to her made her weak in the knees. She didn't know if it was the alcohol talking or something else._

" _Of course.", Aria giggled and she warmed at the bright smile that greeted her._

 _"Have you ever … kissed a girl?"_

 _Aria's eyes popped up for second but then she moved her eyes around, looking like she was pondering how to answer the question._

 _"Yeah.", she answered then, giggling and moving her fingers slightly over Spencer's sides. Spencer could feel the goosebumps forming on her skin, her eyes not leaving Aria._

 _"You have?" She was surprised._

 _"Of course! t's fun", she chuckled again and Spencer wasn't sure what to say._

" _You mean in college? Or before?"_

" _I kissed Hanna once. So drunk.", and there was giggling again but this time Spencer didn't like it at all._

 _"Hanna?! What? You and Hanna kissed? When?" Spencer's arms slipped from Aria's body, but Aria refused to let go._

" _Oh come on, Spencey! It was some dare at a party. Don't be jealous, teddy bear!", she laughed as she cupped Spencer's cheeks in one quick move with both hands and pressed without warning her lips against Spencer's. Before Spencer could understand what was happening, Aria had drawn back her lips, giving her an amused look._

" _There. Now we kissed, too." To say she was surprised was an understatement. She could still feel Aria's soft lips on hers, her strawberry lip gloss leaving a sweet taste on her mouth and the way Aria's lips fit to hers astonished her. She had never even thought about kissing a woman before and now that she had, she wanted more – but she didn't want just any woman to kiss, she wanted Aria._

" _Yeah. We kissed.", she repeated in awe and Aria raised an eyebrow at her._

 _"Are you okay, Spence?"_

 _Spencer didn't know what came over her in that moment, or where the sudden impulse came from. She rarely did anything spontaneous, or daring but in this moment alcohol and desire seemed to take over her brain and Spencer's lips crashed down on Aria's without warning. Aria was quick to react, snacking her arm around Spencer's neck, drawing her closer into her. She could feel Aria's lips moving on her own and felt her lips part as Aria's tongue slipped into her mouth, making her moan into her. Spencer's hand cupped Aria's cheeks, tracing her fingers over the porcelain skin. Tongues battled and hands wandered and Spencer's feet shifted towards the bed, never letting go of Aria. Even though the alcohol made her room spin, she was careful not to crush her tiny friend's body when she lowered Aria onto the bed. The need to breath finally won over the desire she had discovered and she could see Aria's chest moving up and down in panting breaths._

 _Spencer's hand moved to the side of Aria's head, caressing her cheekbone and tracing her fingers over Aria's rosy lips._

" _This is new.", she heard Aria break the silence and a smirk formed on the smaller girl's lips. She wanted to say something, her brain tried to communicate with her but Spencer couldn't understand what it was telling her, so she followed the desire that once again rose inside her and reconnected their lips again. Aria's soft moans filled her ears like music and Spencer swore it was the most adorable sound she had ever listened to. The way Aria mumbled her name against her lips let her feel all the butterflies moving inside her and she couldn't grasp on the feeling she got when Aria softly bit on her upper lip. Still, Spencer wanted more. Thoughts of Toby or any other man were long forgotten and all Spencer could see was Aria. Still kissing her with everything in her, she moved her fingers to the garment of Aria's dress, reaching the end of it, and slowly lifting it, so she could trace her fingers along Aria's long legs. She stopped when her hand came in contact with Aria's underwear but Aria didn't seem to notice as she was to busy leaving kisses on Spencer's neck, her fingers scratching along Spencer's exposed back. Spencer's hand travelled further then and reached Aria's abdomen, tracing incoherent words on the soft skin and humming softly as Aria's lips moved against her. She felt Aria's hand reach for her dress, and helped her remove it from her body, before removing hers. Both dressed in underwear only Spencer couldn't help but feel captivated by Aria's beauty._

" _I want you, Spencer.", she heard Aria softly say. Suddenly, Spencer was aware of the weight of those words. The alcohol had worn off and Spencer wanted nothing more than to slip off Aria's bra and panties and experience something she never thought she would even think about with a girl. But as the alcohol left her system, her brain seemed to be put in function and even though she still wanted this to continue more than anything else in that moment she wouldn't risk their friendship over this. Everything until this point they could explain as friends experimenting in college. They could blame it on the amount of alcohol they had drunk and their problems of dating the wrong guys. Everything until this point was innocent. There was only so much of a step to cross the border._

" _Spencer?", Aria's lips moved teasingly down her neck, to the top of her chest, just above Spencer's bra, and Spencer bit down a moan as she felt Aria's tongue make small movements on her bare skin._

" _Aria.", she moaned and forced her hands not to rip off the last barrier of clothes._

" _Stop.", she whimpered suddenly and Aria drew back instantly, rolling away from underneath Spencer. Spencer felt the warmth of Aria's body leave her and she turned to Aria who was now sitting on the end of the bed, covering her body and looking around the room in the dark, probably for her dress._

" _No. Aria, no. Babe.", Spencer's hands moved to Aria's slim frame. Softly encircling her and drawing her close, kissing her head and shifting her so that both of them were lying down on Spencer's bed again. Feeling the cold she pulled up the blanket, covering their almost naked bodies. She could see Aria's tears through the dim room, as lights from passing cars flashed into the window. She kissed them away in a light touch, moving her arms up and down Aria's body. Upsetting her was the last thing she wanted to._

" _It is not that I don't want you, Aria. It is not that. Because I do."_

 _She felt Aria move closer, her eyes locking with hers and a small smirk formed on her lips. Spencer let out a sigh of relief at seeing her smile._

 _"Then what is it?", Aria's hand had moved to caress the side of Spencer's face and she felt the tingling from her touch all down to her toes._

" _I don't want this to be a drunken mistake, Aria. We are hurt and we had had alcohol and we live in different parts of the country." Spencer didn't know why she said that last part. Was she thinking for even a second to make this a long term thing? Either way, she knew she wouldn't let an one time incident ruin their long time friendship. Aria's mind felt probably as dizzy as hers, and she had probably had even more alcohol than Spencer had and she sure as hell wasn't going to take advantage of her best friend._

" _I'm not drunk anymore.", came the soft whisper as Aria played with the straps of Spencer's bra, making it hard for Spencer not to lose control._

" _We still are. A little bit. And that is okay." She kissed Aria's nose playfully making her giggle softly. "I don't want this to be some one night stand. I want to think of this as an experience I made with my best friend. Something I could have never done with anyone else."_

" _Yeah." She could feel Aria's head nod against her. "I like the idea of that."_

 _Spencer could feel how Aria's breathing slowed down a little and she knew it would not be long until her friend drifted off to sleep. She brushed her fingers through her short locks with one hand, caressing Aria's arm with the other – the need to physically touch her not wearing off as she felt herself being lulled to sleep by Aria's pattern of deep breaths._

" _I am really glad you came. I love you, Aria.", Spencer whispered quietly and closed her eyes, believing the other girl had already falling asleep._

" _Love you, too, Spence.", Aria mumbled, her lips tickling Spencer's neck as they moved in speech. Spencer sighed contently, tightening her hold on Aria as she kissed her tiny head once more before closing her eyes; feeling truly happy for the first time since before she broke things off with Toby._

Spencer's hand didn't stop to move through her friend's hair. She smiled at the distant memory. When they had woken up the next day, Aria had kissed her cheek lovingly before moving to take a shower and get dressed as she couldn't be late for her flight. After she had packed everything she had sat on the edge of the bed, where Spencer had laid motionless for a moment, just starring up at her. She had said that she didn't regret what had happened and that she would treasure the memory in her heart but that it was for the best to keep quiet about it. Spencer understood where she was coming from. She didn't want that night to affect their friendship either and it was too risky to bring up the memory again in case someone listened. So they decided to let it be what it was. A memory between two friends experiencing one another before taking the final step. Having a sleeping Aria tightly in her arms, she kissed the bridge of her nose softly, snuggling into the warmth of her body and closing her eyes, thinking about Matthew's words. Maybe it wasn't the worst thing in the world to fall in love with Aria. Maybe it really wasn't.

" _Aria?", Aria had already passed security and waited patiently in line with the other passengers as Spencer's mind began to burn with an unanswered question._

 _She saw Aria turn and raise an eyebrow in confusing, but not without smiling at her through the slim walls of glass._

 _"I kiss better than Hanna, right?", Spencer asked a little nervous and waited patiently for Aria to answer._

" _Of course you do, Spence.", Aria laughed and waved her hand in a goodbye one more time._

 _Spencer grinned in satisfaction. She really enjoyed being on top of her game._

 _..._

I hope you liked the Chapter and are not too disappointed that Spencer stopped them, I just thought it something Spencer would do and following the story of Pretty Little Liars up to the point where AD is revealed as Alex Drake, I think it would have changed the relationship between Spencer and Aria in a much more drastic way if they had in fact slept together.

Leave some words please, feedback brightens my day! see you next time!

Much love.


	14. Cry for help

I am back again. As always, thank you for the kind reviews.

This chapter is going to focus on Aria, and yes - finally Alex will be in it! :)

Enjoy!

...

"What happened last night? I've never seen you cry like that. Do you want to talk about it?" Spencer's face held worry when Aria looked up to meet her eyes as they sat at the kitchen island, drinking their morning coffee.

"No. I guess I just need space and I can't have that if he is there all the time. I don't know what to think anymore, Spence. I never thought I would leave him. Something just changed. And I don't know why."

Spencer reached a hand over the table to give Aria's a soft squeeze.

"You know I am here for you, right? Whatever you need. I will be here every step of the way. You don't have to do this on your own."

"Thank you." And Aria meant it. She couldn't express with words how lucky she was to have Spencer by her side.

"Why don't I call the girls and see what they are up to? A night out of town would us all do some good."

Spencer smiled reassuringly at her, tracing fingers in a calming motion over Aria's hand and the smaller girl nodded. Maybe a night out really was what she needed to get her mind off of things.

"That would be nice. I have to go to the apartment first, though. Grab some stuff. Thank you for letting me stay at yours, by the way."

"Ar, we've been practically living together the last two weeks, anyway.", she chuckled. "I think I can handle a few more."

And there was the smile again that let Aria know how much her friend cared. She really felt blessed to have someone like Spencer in her life.

...

Aria was glad when she found the apartment empty. Spencer had offered to help her, but she had told her she needed to this on her own. Even though Ezra had told her he would be out all day she still feared to run into him. She wasn't prepared to face him. Not yet. It would only complicate things and she wasn't sure what she would do if she saw his face.

As she packed up some of her things in the bedroom her gaze subconsciously wandered to her bed. Memories flashed through her mind as she imagined all the nights both of them had spent on that bed, creating memories and having long night talks about the future ahead of them, and Aria couldn't help but let a tear fall. It wasn't like she had automatically fallen out of love with Ezra, and it still hurt her to imagine a life without him, but she just didn't know if it was enough anymore.

Then, out of nowhere, a different memory creeped into her mind. Soft hands that held Aria's face and lips that were rough but didn't have the force of man's touch filled her thoughts. The way Alex had kissed her was different than anything she had experienced before. It was not the first time she had kissed women. She remembered stolen kisses at parties with drunk friends while gigglingly declaring their undying love for each other, remembered some guys daring her and Hanna to make out in front of them shortly after they had started college. However, that was something normal. It was not uncommon for girlfriends to kiss at parties for fun even though they were supposedly straight. And Aria hadn't really thought much of kissing her friends until she had visited Spencer in DC. She pushed those thoughts away quickly, not daring to think back at their night - not wanting to admit that it had hurt when Spencer stopped had them from doing anything else because she hadn't wanted it to turn into something big. So Aria had played it cool, and they had agreed not to bring it up again. Since then, Aria had buried all thoughts and possible emotions, afraid to feel something she was too scared of to admit. And then there was Alex. Aria was confused as why she even thought about Spencer's sister so often, why she got a tingling feeling whenever she touched her. She remembered how shocked she was to learn that Alex loved her. Love. That was an emotion reserved for Ezra only, and all of the sudden there was this girl who loved Aria just the same. Deep down Aria knew she shouldn't trust her, but her gut told her that Alex had been honest. The night before, when she was on the phone with the nurse, she was too close to just make an appointment to see her. Something didn't feel right thinking about the troubled girl being alone in an empty, cold room - not when Aria knew there was another side of her.

Subconsciously, she pulled out her phone and pushed the same numbers she had dialed just hours before.

"Hello?", a voice greeted her and Aria breathed in and out for a moment.

"Hi. This is Aria Montgomery. I called yesterday, about Alex Drake."

"Miss Montgomery! I remember. It is nice of you to call again. Did you decide on a date to visit Ms Drake?"

Aria bit her lip. "Yes. Actually I was wondering if I could come by early in the afternoon today? Is that possible?"

"Absolutely, Miss. I will let Mr. Clarkson know then. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

"No, I will be visiting around two then if it is okay. Thank you."

"Of course. See you later then."

"Yeah. Bye."

Her phone slipped from Aria's hands and she grew nervous. Was she ready for this? Was she ready to see her again? She prayed Spencer wouldn't find out about this. She would kill Aria in her sleep if she ever found out the truth.

She packed the last of her things, driving to Spencer's with a nervous feeling in her stomach. She hoped Spencer wasn't home, so she didn't have to feel guilty about leaving again to go to visit Alex.

"Aria! Let me help you with these!", she heard her voice, and she almost cursed when Spencer was standing next to her a second later, carrying a bag she had taken out of her car.

Aria smiled thankfully, hoping Spencer wouldn't notice how shaky she was inside. They had managed to set Aria's things into the room and Aria checked the time. It was already after half past one, and she knew she would need to leave soon.

"So I talked to the others and we thought of going to this bar in Philly that just opened recently. Ali offered to drive as she still can't really tolerate alcohol after the pregnancy because it makes her sick, so she will pick us up at around eight."

"Okay, cool. It's been ages since I went out to a bar that wasn't at the Radley."

"Yeah me, too.", Spencer chuckled. "Do you want to grab lunch? I don't really have too much work to do today in the office, so I am basically free."

"I would like to, Spence. But I have to take care of a few things."

"Let me help then. I don't want to see you mopping around with a sad face all day. Let me cheer you up."

"Spence.", Aria felt guilty, but she couldn't tell Spencer where she was going. She moved to put a hand on Spencer's arm. "I really appreciate you doing all this for me. But you don't need to guard me 24 hours a day, okay? I just have to work some things out concerning the book and the press and then check in on my parents. So relax, okay?"

"I just worry about you, Ar.", Spencer's voice was barely audible.

"I know. Thank you for that, but I am fine. I promise. I will be back before eight so we can get ready together, okay?"

"Okay."

She squeezed Spencer's arm in reassurance and smiled up at her, before leaving the barn and walking to her car, the weight of guilt laying heavily on her shoulders. She tried to ignore the feeling as she started the car.

…

"Miss Montgomery! It is nice to see you.", Dean Clarkson greeted her and smiled, as he extended his hand.

Aria nodded, shaking his hand for a moment before speaking.

"Where is she?", she asked, not beating around the bush.

"Look. As you are the only one to visit her so far, I would like to speak with you before you go in there to see her. My father was a little reluctant to allow you to visit, but I knew she needed to see you. So I want to talk to you first. Would that be okay?"

Aria sighed. She really didn't feel like talking, but she knew it was the only way to see Alex so she nodded anyway.

Dean led her to his office, as she sat down in a chair in front of him, observing the personal touch he gave the room with photos and postcards.

"Listen. I don't want this to be awkward alright? We just need to do what is best for our patients. My father is one of the best psychiatrists of the country. He is doing his best but we need to make sure not to interfere with her treatment. "

"I understand."

"I know you told me before that you wanted to see her. But you never told me the reason behind it. Her sister, Spencer was it?" Aria nodded affirmatively. "She didn't call once. And I understand that she is probably still scared and angry given the circumstances. We got Alex to confess. It sounds like you guys went through some hard times. She told me about you."

"What?", Aria stumbled out. "What did she say?"

"Well, she told me that she was in love with you. And that she is sorry for the things she did to you. Is that the reason you want to visit her? Did you know about her having feelings for you?"

"Is this an intervention?", Aria scoffed. She suddenly felt trapped.

"Miss Montgomery. You need to understand. We need to protect our patients. If you are only here to see her in order to get revenge or try to take advantage of her feelings for you, it will not work out. We need to make sure these things don't happen as it would hinder her recovery."

"I'm not here to hurt her." Her voice filled with determination.

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Why are you here then, Aria?"

"I want to help her get better. I want to believe in the good in people again. I want to see her and understand why she did what she did."

Aria knew why he looked at her so intently, his eyes looked for any kind of deception – but she told the truth. She needed answers. She needed to sort out her feelings. She needed to see Alex.

"I heard about Mona Vanderwall and Charlotte Drake. Those girls hurt you, too. Have you forgiven them for what they did to you?"

Aria was at loss for words. She had definitely never forgiven Charlotte, but had she forgiven Mona? She didn't know.

"This was different.", she began. "I understand where Mona was coming from. And while I might not have forgiven her fully, I respect her and I am thankful that she helped us save Spencer and expose Alex. I won't lie. I never forgave Charlotte for what she did to us. She tried to kills us more than a few times and she tortured us. Alex never did those things to me."

"But she almost killed Ezra, didn't she? She tried to murder Spencer with an axe. "

"Alex has issues. I know she has them. But if you think I am here to get revenge, you are wrong. I just need to see her. And honestly, I feel very tired of talking right now. You told me I could visit her."

"And you can. I just needed to be sure."

"Whatever. Can I see her now?", Aria impatiently asked.

"Yes."

And just like that Aria's heart started to pound wildly in her chest.

Finally, they stood outside her room and Aria grew nervous again, her heart still beating a hundred miles per hour.

"Oh, there is one more thing before we go inside.", Dean said and Aria looked at him with questioning eyes.

"No phones." He stretched out his hand and Aria turned her neck, her eyebrows furrowing in confusion. When Aria realized he wasn't joking, she reluctantly handed him the device.

Dean knocked firmly on the door and Aria's breath hitched when she heard Alex's voice.

"Come in."

They stepped into the room, Aria closely behind Dean, and Aria saw Alex's eyes grew wide the moment she saw her.

"Hi."

"Hi.", Aria heard Alex whisper back. "What – What are you doing here?"

"I came to visit." The nervous tone was gone and had shifted to concern as Aria saw how skinny Alex had gotten compared to the last time she saw her; her white gown falling largely on her body.

"How are you doing today?", Dean addressed Alex and she shifted her gaze from Aria to the doctor.

"Today is a good day, Dean." She smiled then, her eyes searching Aria's again and without realizing Aria smiled back.

"Are you comfortable enough for me to leave?" Aria wasn't sure if the question was addressed at her or Alex, but she nodded either way and Alex did the same. Dean nodded and explained the emergency button in case they needed him. He left afterwards, closing the door and leaving Aria alone with Alex.

"So, tell me, Aria. To what do I owe this pleasure?", she spoke, not hiding the sarcasm of her words and Aria had to adjust to her British accent again. Alex's legs crossed, as she sat on the bed, studying Aria who sat nervously on a chair beside the bed.

"I don't know.", Aria confessed.

"Spencer sent you down here, didn't she? Bitch doesn't have the guts to show up herself, huh?", Alex mocked, shaking her head in laughter.

"She doesn't know I am here. And it's better she doesn't find out. She would kill me if she knew." Aria's voice was calm, even though Alex's behavior made her question if it was really possible for her to change at all.

Alex looked taken aback, as she shifted on the bed, moving closer to the edge to face Aria. "My sister doesn't know you're visiting? Is that true?", Her hoarse voice

cracking a little as she spoke.

"She doesn't."

"So why? Why did you come to see _me_?" The last time Aria heard Alex sound so vulnerable was when she had confessed her feelings for her.

"I wanted to see you." Aria knew she was giving away too much. She shouldn't have told Alex, but at the same time she found it impossible to lie.

"You _wanted_ to? You came here because you _wanted_ to?"

"Yes." Aria smiled then. Hoping Alex would believe her. Slowly, Alex smiled back.

"Wow.", Alex replied, fumbling with the sheet covering the bed.

There was a pause of silence, both of them too afraid to speak.

"How are you doing, Alex?" Aria tried to keep her voice normal, not wanting to give away how anxious she was to hear the answer.

"To be honest? They try to give me pills all day and have me meditate to relax. I swear they play the worst songs - I bet they do it on purpose. It is terrible."

Aria laughed, enjoying the light tone of their conversation.

"How are you feeling?" Alex asked and Aria tensed up.

"I'm okay.", she replied cautiously, struggling her shoulders.

"You don't seem okay. Did something happen?", her persistence remembered her of Spencer and Aria couldn't deny how similar they were in character sometimes.

"Me and Ezra are taking some time apart.", Aria finally admitted and she caught something in Alex's eyes she didn't think she ever would – compassion.

"I'm sorry, Aria. I really am." Before Aria could respond, Alex had reached out a hand and put it over Aria's, squeezing her hand tightly and Aria could feel goosebumps forming on her skin. She didn't pull away.

"Was it because of me?", Alex's voice resembled a child then, and there was no trace left of the venom it held just weeks before.

"No.", Aria squeezed back haltingly. She didn't want Alex to believe their downfall was her fault.

"Why are you being so nice to me? I made your life a living hell." Alex's head bowed in shame, and Aria couldn't help the urge to hug the shaken girl in front of her.

"Alex." With just two fingers she had lifted the girl's chin so Alex was looking at her again.

"I want you to get better." Aria paused, but Alex's eyes were still fixed onto her, like she wanted her to continue. "Look,", Aria began once more, not removing her fingers from Alex's skin. "I never understood why Ali was so persistent in helping Charlotte after what she had done to us. It was something I couldn't grasp on – until now. I don't want you to feel like you have no one that cares about you, Alex. You don't belong in here."

It wasn't often Aria was so open with people, but she somehow found comfort in the presence of Alex and she wanted her to be the person she had dreamt of. She didn't want for her to rot in a psych institution, just because she got the bad end of the deal. She was still Spencer's sister and even though Aria knew neither of them were ready to face the other any time soon, she hoped they could try to mend things in the future.

Alex hadn't said anything, and Aria grew worried, afraid she had said something bad, when suddenly Alex pushed forward, kissing Aria softly on her lips before pulling back in an instant. Aria's eyes widened in shock, her right hand falling from Alex's face, while she removed the other one from under Alex's grasp. She recoiled from Alex's touch and moved her chair back a little, creating a distance between.

"God! Aria! I am so sorry!" Alex jumped from the bed, reaching out to touch her, but Aria held up a shaking hand, standing up from the chair and moving closer to the wall behind her.

"Please don't, Alex."

"I'm sorry!", Alex yelled out. Tears were tumbling hurriedly from her eyes and her slim form began to shake under the wild sobs.

"I'm so stupid.", her hands moved violently to whip the tears off of her face and she turned away from Aria, her body trembling.

Not being able to just stand there, Aria moved deliberately forward. Placing a hand on Alex's back. The girl cringed at the sudden contact and Aria feared for second that Alex would turn around and punch her in the face, but Alex didn't move.

"Alex.", Aria tried again, but there was no reaction. Aria could hear the short breaths that escaped the other girl's mouth. Her trembling body and the panting gasps worried her. She knew too well what a panic attack looked like. Not thinking about her next move, Aria shifted closer, turning Alex so she would face her and before she could move away, Aria's hands moved around her, so she could envelope her in a hug. She led them to the bed where they sat down with Aria's arms still around Alex and Alex's breaths seemed to find their normal pattern again. As exhaustion took over, Alex's head fell onto Aria's shoulder and despite the unfamiliarity of the situation Aria's hand reached up to run her fingers through her hair, hoping it would calm her down. She tried to ignore how similar this felt as to when she would comfort Spencer. She tried not think of her best friend at all, feeling guilt creeping up her spine. Spencer would never forgive her for this, but Aria couldn't let Alex fight her haunting demons alone anymore. Alex had no one left that cared and Aria wouldn't forgive herself if she followed Charlotte's fate. She didn't understood Ali then, but she understood now. And maybe it was too late to forgive Charlotte, too late to try and change her; but it wasn't too late to fight for Alex, to help her get the life she always wanted. After all, all Alex wanted was a family.

"It's okay. Breath. I am here. I am not going anywhere.", she whispered soothingly, holding the slim girl from crumbling and for the first time she wondered if Spencer and her weren't the only ones trying to find their way through the darkness in the aftermath of events.

...

Hope you liked it! Leave some words. I do write this story for you guys, so reviewing helps me to keep posting :)

Much Love!


	15. Girls' Night Out

Chapter 15, for you guys. Cannot believe this Story reached 50k words already. Thankful for all your reviews and kind words! They make my day!

Enjoy :)

…

With a heavy sigh she opened the unlocked door, letting herself in. She could hear the radio playing and moved a hand over face, holding back a yawn. Visiting Alex had been more exhausting than she would like to admit and she didn't really feel like going out anymore, but she had promised Spencer and her guilt was already pretty much eating her alive, so she couldn't really bail on their night on top of everything else.

"Aria?", she heard her name being called and looked up at Spencer, who was coming out of the bedroom. Already dressed in a tight, black strapless dress that finished just above her knees, she gave Aria a shy smile. It fit her perfectly. Her hair fell in soft waves over her shoulders and her make up didn't hide her natural look, but just highlighted how beautiful Spencer was with just a bit of powder, mascara and the red lip stick she wore. But then again, Spencer never failed to look amazing and her beauty had only increased over the years, as had her style. It made her look older, more sophisticated – Aria smiled up at her friend.

"You look nice.", she complimented when Spencer reached her and Spencer wrinkled an eyebrow.

"Nice? It took me far too long to get ready to just look _nice_!"

Aria chuckled. "You know what I mean. You look gorgeous, as you always do. Now, can you please help me get ready myself? I think I will fall asleep if you leave me alone in the room."

"Come on.", Spencer laughed and grabbed her by the hand to lead her to the bedroom. "We can't let that happen, can we?"

…

"Perfect.", Spencer concluded when she finished doing Aria's hair and smiled brightly. Aria looked beautiful. She always did. But seeing her in that navy dress that cut short, exposing her legs and showing just the tip of her chest, Spencer couldn't help but feel heat rising in her body. After thinking about their night again and the fact that she might have developed a crush on Aria, she couldn't help the tingling that went through her stomach whenever she looked at her tiny friend. Still, she tried to shake it off as much as possible. Even though, she had kind of admitted to herself that her feelings for Aria were more than just friendly, she didn't want anyone to know. After all, Aria was still struggling with her relationship with Ezra and as far as Spencer knew, Aria was also still straight and not interested in women. She just had to work out a way to forget about the crush and the wild feelings bottling up inside her, so things could back to normal again. _Normal._ She had a feeling she forgot what that felt like.

"Are you coming, Spence? They are here." Aria's words pulled her out of her thoughts and she nodded quickly, following Aria out of the room.

"I can't believe we're going out tonight!", exclaimed Hanna, who was sitting on Aria's right side as the tiny woman was squeezed in between her and Spencer in the back seat, leaving Emily on the passenger's seat next to a driving Ali.

"I know! It's been ages since we went out!", joined Aria as she pulled out and opened a bottle of sparkling whine that had been hidden in her lap, taking a sip before passing the bottle to a delighted Hanna.

"Seriously, Aria?", groaned Emily and turned her head so she could face them in the back. "What are we? Seventeen? We're going to have enough alcohol when we get to the club."

"I had a long day, okay? I can't wait until we're in Philly!", defended Aria, taking the bottle back from Hanna and taking a much bigger swig before raising an eyebrow at a scolding Emily. "Now, do you want something or not?"

Emily rolled her eyes but took the bottle that was reached out to her anyway.

"No spilling! I swear, you guys better not make a mess. I just had the car washed on Thursday!"

"Don't worry, Babe.", Emily leaned over quickly to kiss Alison's cheek, hoping to calm her down and succeeded when Ali smiled, her eyes still on the road.

"When did you take that with you?", asked Spencer as she took a sip herself. She hadn't even seen Aria bring the bottle, but then again she was too focused on Aria's appearance to notice. The alcohol made her way down her throat, burning slightly and Spencer squeezed her eyes shut at the disgusting taste. "This is awful. I know why I prefer a vodka soda any day to this amateur drink."

Aria laughed at Spencer's words and between her and Hanna the bottle was finished about half way to Philadelphia. Leaning towards the window, Spencer looked at the passing cars, thinking about the people in them and wondering where they were headed. Being lost in the flashlights and the speeding vehicles, it took her a moment to notice the weight on her shoulder. She turned slightly seeing Aria leaning on her side with her head leaning against her shoulder, eyes closed.

She smiled softly at her friend, hoping she would feel more relaxed when they arrived Philadelphia. She knew something was up with Aria. She had noticed a change in her behavior ever since she had left the ranch that morning but she didn't want to question her in front of the others – she wanted to wait and talk to her privately. She didn't like seeing her hurting like this. And while she knew she was still suffering from her and Ezra's conversation she was somewhat sure there was something else bothering her. She was about to turn around again, not wanting to intrude Aria's nap when she saw Hanna reaching out a hand to Aria. Slapping it away quickly, Spencer shot her a quick glare.

"Leave her alone, Hanna. I think she can use the rest."

"We're going to a club tonight, Spencer. Not a sleepover. I'm not going to let her sleep away our first night out in years!"

She reached out her hand again, ready to poke Aria's side with one of her fingers, when Spencer grabbed her wrist tightly. "Stop it. Once we're parked we will wake her up. Just let her rest a little, okay? She had had a tough couple of weeks."

"Fine. But the minute this car stops I'm going to shake her awake.", Hanna gave up and crossed her arms over a chest with a pout, facing away from Spencer. Spencer chuckled. Her blonde friend was too adorable sometimes.

When the car stopped in front of the bar, Hanna stayed true to her words and began nudging Aria. "Wake up, Aria! We're here! It's time to celebrate!", she declared loudly, but Aria refused to open her eyes. Burring herself deeper into Spencer's body and nuzzling her head into the crook of her neck. The sudden movement startled the taller woman and she drew in a long breath, feeling goosebumps form on her skin. "Look at tiny Aria. She looks adorable when she's sleeping away her liquor."

"I'm not drunk yet, Em.", came the ruffled reply and Aria sat up immediately, Spencer feeling the loss of the warmth where Aria's body was pressed into her. For a second she wanted to bring the girl back to her, but she quickly slapped herself mentally for even thinking that.

"Are we ready?", asked Alison, already stepping out of the car and Spencer and the others followed through.

"You okay?", Spencer bend down a little to reach Aria's ear and swung an arm loosely around her side as they walked into the busy building.

"I'm fine.", Aria replied simply but gave her a smile as to calm her nerves.

"Let's have fun tonight, all right?", she let out as she raised her head a little to meet her eyes and Spencer smiled back softly. "Sounds perfect."

…

"I think you're done with drinking, little one." The drink she had held firmly in her hand was being lifted and Aria followed the floating glass to see who had just stolen her margarita.

"Give it back, Hanna!", she whined in a childish voice as she felt the room around her moving.

"Aria, you are barely even looking at me! Be happy I didn't let Spencer come over here because that would have escalated far too quickly. You almost fell from that bar hocker a minute ago!" Aria ducked her head in shame. She felt the alcohol rushing through her system but she could still think somewhat logically and was aware of her surroundings.

"I really need this tonight, Han." Her voice still low and the confusion and pain she felt echoed through her words.

"Why? You've been off every since you got into the car. What's wrong?" Hanna sat down on the free barstool next to Aria and softly gave her hand a squeeze.

"You can talk to me, you know?"

"I thought we were having fun." Aria whined back, trying to reach the margarita, but Hanna was quick in holding it out of reach.

"Well, I think you're past fun right now and slipped into the depressive phase."

Aria knew it was Hanna's attempt to joke so she put on a small smile and sighed.

"Everything is really confusing right now." She didn't say anything else for a while, but Hanna didn't make a move to get up. She saw the concern in her friend's face and decided to speak up.

"Ezra and I – we're taking a break."

"What? Since when? Why didn't you say anything?"

"It's not that I wanted to keep it from you guys, I promise. I just didn't want to ruin our girls night." Aria felt the alcohol wearing off a little as her mind played back her conversation with Ezra.

"We talked over the phone last night. He was mad at me for staying at Spencer's because she felt sick and it all just ended in this big argument, I don't know. It just blew up. And then, when we calmed down, he asked me if I even wanted to try and work on our relationship and I just froze. I couldn't really answer that. So I asked him for space."

"Oh.", Hanna let out. Still comforting her by holding her hand on top of the table.

"Well you know, I'm here for you, right? Me, and the girls. Hell, even Caleb. He still worries about you, by the way."

Aria laughed gently. "Tell him I'm doing okay. But I will let him know if I need to burrow my best friend's boyfriend again. Thanks, Han."

Hanna nodded and smiled in response. "Always."

"How is the baby making going? I just – you are drinking alcohol, so?"

"Well, we're still trying but I got my period a few days ago and took a pregnancy test before that – so I can surely say I'm not pregnant right now.", Hanna sighed somewhat thoughtfully. "But we will keep trying and we want to schedule with a professional to talk about options."

Aria noticed the tad of sadness crossing Hanna's features, before Hanna spoke again.

"But things are going pretty well now that Mona has moved out. I feel like we're finally ready to start our lives together without drama."

"I'm really happy for you. You and Caleb deserve this. I can't wait to be an aunt again." She squeezed back Hanna's hand once more before letting go and tried not to think of her crumbling relationship with Ezra. Hanna noticed.

"I'm sorry about you and Ezra. But whatever you decide, I am here for you, got it?" Hanna's eyes wandered to the glass she had just taken away from her. "Maybe you really do need this tonight." With that she slowly pushed the drink towards Aria. "Just don't let Spencer see."

Aria chuckled and looked around to see Spencer dance around in a silly way with Emily and Alison moving around next to her, not really paying attention to her and Hanna. She grinned at the sight and turned back to quickly drain the last of her margarita.

"I didn't say to drink it all in one swig, Aria!", Hanna laughed. Aria ignored her friend's amused outburst and stood up, holding out her hand for Hanna to take.

"Come on, Han.", she announced, not waiting for the blonde to move as she took hold of the blonde's wrist, dragging her along with her to the dance floor. "I'm tired of all the depressive talk. Let's dance with the girls."

"Finally!", Emily yelled out happily as she tripped over to them, pulling them towards them as they danced to the music. Being there with her friends, laughing along with them, dancing to songs from the 90's – Aria felt like maybe everything was going to be okay. She didn't think of Ezra or Alex but about the group of girls that was making silly faces at her and she laughed as a drunk Emily spun her around, making her turn around herself for a couple of times. She smiled as Alison's hands found Emily's waist to steady her fiancée and at the way Emily dipped in to kiss Al's lips softly. She chuckled at Hanna's attempt to get Spencer to trade her flats for her heels, as she whined out in pain and she beamed at the thought of their friendship remaining strong through all these years.

The music changed its rhythm as a slower song began to play in the busy bar, people moved from the center to grab drinks and Hanna excused herself to go to the bathroom. Emily hugged Ali close as they swayed to the light tune of Ed Sheeran's Thinking out Loud. Couples gathered along them, as she suddenly felt a soft hand took hold of hers. "Wanna dance?", she looked up to see a goofy smile playing on Spencer's lips and she let Spencer lead them through the lyrics of the song. "Are you okay?", the taller friend asked, her hand loosely around Aria's mid but not too close and their hands intertwined. "I'm good." Aria was tired of talking. For a split second she debated laying her head on Spencer's chest, wanting to feel the comfort of her friend, but she didn't want to give people or their friends, or Spencer for the matter, a wrong impression, so she kept moving to the soft tunes with Spencer guiding her. It felt good to be close to her friend again. She had avoided her all evening, trying not to talk to her too much in fear she would slip Alex into a conversation. She still felt extremely guilty and part of her wished she didn't have to go back to Alex. But she had to. She couldn't stay away. Something inside of her had snapped and she felt like she had to help Alex heal and get back on track. Focusing on Spencer for the time she tried to block out any other thoughts of the troubled twin sister. She would deal with that in the morning. At this moment, she just wanted to enjoy a nice evening with her closest friends.

…

Having Aria so close to her, Spencer felt as though her heart was about to explode. Even though she longed to pull Aria closer to her, she made sure to keep a distance between their bodies as she didn't want Aria to feel weird and have her friends making silly comments. To the outside world it probably looked like two close female friends that were dancing and enjoying a good night out, but to Spencer it felt so much more than that. Ever since she had allowed thoughts of Aria back into her head and heart, she couldn't stop the feelings that were circling inside her. She knew she would never be able to tell Aria how she truly felt and a part of her hoped this crush would soon vanish, but on the other hand she hadn't really been looking around the club to find a man to keep her company and make her forget about those confusing emotions either. Hanna had tried to fix her up with one of the guys that had approached them earlier in the night, but even though he was not bad looking, her eyes had always travelled back to Aria who had sat by herself across the bar with a drink in her hand. She had tried to talk to her all night but Aria had simply waved her off and pleaded for Spencer to just have fun and dance and stop worrying. So she had tried. She really had. But when she had seen the bartender handing her the fourth margarita that night, she grew worried and was about to approach her before Hanna had stopped her, telling her she could handle it. And apparently she had handled it, Spencer thought, as she hold onto Aria's hand a little tighter. She tried to block out the spark of jealousy as she wondered how Hanna had gotten Aria to talk and get up to dance when she had tried to cheer up her best friend before. However, she decided to settle for being happy that she could see Aria's smile again. When the song ended just as Hanna came back from the restroom Spencer and Aria parted with a small smile to each other and the five of them began to sing along together as a new song blasted through the speakers.

The clock radio in Ali's car showed it was just after two a.m., as they drove back to Rosewood, the radio playing gently in the background. Spencer felt the body next to her stir slightly, the head nestling in the crook of her neck. Aria had snuggled into her side again and was sleeping peacefully, her pattern of breaths being like a melody to Spencer's ears. Hanna was on the phone on the other side of Aria, probably texting Caleb and Emily leaned against the window, her eyes closed and Spencer was sure she had dozed off as well.

"Thanks for driving out here, Ali. I think this night was just what we needed.", she kept her voice low, not wanting to wake Aria and Emily.

She could see Alison smile through the rearview mirror.

"Of course. I had fun tonight. I missed this. Us having fun like that. It felt good to be young again.", came back the whisper and Spencer laughed at her words. It was true. They were not even 25 yet and Spencer felt already like an old pensioner with everything they had been through over the last years.

"I'm glad Aria enjoyed herself in the end as well. She seemed pretty down at the beginning."

Spencer's eyes moved to Aria. "Yeah. She has been through a lot these days."

"So have you, Spence. How are you holding up? Hanna told me you were sick yesterday. You should have called to let me help you with the Lost Woods."

She turned to Hanna in surprise, trying not to move too much to not disturb Aria in her sleep. "How do you know I was sick?"

"Uhm, Aria told me. She said she stayed there with you and took care of things."

"What? Aria has got things on her own to deal with! She shouldn't have had to organize things in the Lost Woods as well." Alison's voice rose slightly and Spencer made a gesture for her to lower it down.

"I think it was good for her to keep herself busy after what happened with Ezra."

Spencer's eyes grew wide at Hanna's comment about Ezra and Alison squinted in confusion. "Ezra? What's wrong with her and Ezra?"

"Shit.", Hanna let out and Spencer was surprised Hanna even knew about that.

"Don't say anything to Aria, okay? But she and Ezra are taking a break."

"Hanna!", Spencer scolded from across the other seat. "That isn't your story to tell!" She shook her head softly, thinking how typical it was for Hanna to just let the words slip without giving it a second thought.

"She told me she wasn't keeping this from us.", Hanna defended herself. "And how did you know anyway?"

"I was at the Lost Woods with her, remember? She called him when I was asleep and I found her crying when I woke up. She told me this morning."

"Poor thing.", Alison let out and Hanna ran a hand softly over the back of the woman next to her.

"She is going to be okay.", Spencer mumbled, running a hand tenderly over the side of Aria's face as they continued driving through the empty streets.

"I promise you're going to be fine, Ar.", she vowed to a sleeping Aria in a whisper, so no one else could hear. "Cross my heart."

…

This is it for now. I'm going on holiday next week for two weeks and I don't know if I will be able to upload until then, but I will try. Hope you liked the chapter. Nothing too crazy happened but you can see Spencer is already falling for Aria. And Aria is still figuring things out. See you next time. Leave some words. Much love.


	16. Confessions

Hey guys! I am back from holiday and with a brand new chapter! I apologize for any mistakes in advance 'cause it wrote it down fairly quickly. I might check i tomorrow for errors but I didn't want you guys to wait so long! And there will be a lot of Alex / Aria in this one. Hope you like this one. Leave some words, it helps me write faster! And thank you again for all the kind words. Sparia is a rare ship and I feel that its so underrated. Even though people do see the chemistry. I hope to read more Sparia fan fictions in the future! The world needs it haha. Anyway. Enjoy :)

...

Carrying the sleeping girl to bed, Spencer couldn't help but stare at her tiny, sweet friend in her arms. She thought it was better not to wake her and let her sleep in her dress just this night as she had looked exhausted all evening and Spencer didn't want to interrupt her rest. She set Aria down carefully, draping a blanket over her and sat at the edge of the bed, looking at her to memorize how adorable she looked while mumbling something in her sleep. Spencer was about to get up to get ready to bed, when she heard the other girl call out her name, eyes still closed. She sat down next to Aria again and waited for her to slowly open her eyes. She smiled when they made eye contact, but Aria turned away quickly. Frowning Spencer reached out to turn Aria's head towards her again.

"What's wrong?", she wondered and noticed the thoughtful look on Aria's features.

"I'm sorry, Spence. I really am. I am sorry if I let you down. Please don't hate me.", she heard her mumbling, and Spencer knew Aria was trying hard not to cry.

"Aria, what is it? I don't hate you, okay? I never could. Just tell me.", her fingers started to play with a loose lock of brown hair that had grown over the past few months a little more. She would never say it, but she had always preferred Aria with her long wavy hair falling perfectly on her shoulder. She loved Aria's hair. As Spencer starred into Aria's eyes with a reassuring smile, Aria looked away again.

"We were supposed to have fun tonight.", Aria's tone had shifted and Spencer noticed the sad undertone her voice held.

"I did have fun tonight. Didn't you?"

She could hear Aria sigh in response.

"I have so much stuff on my mind. Things I want to get off my chest, but I can't."

"Why not? You can always talk to me, Aria. You know that, don't you?" Spencer grew worried, she hated to see Aria hurt and she wished she could do something to make her feel better.

"I know. But, I have to figure things out on my own for once." Aria turned to the other side, making Spencer drop her hand and letting go of Aria's hair. She had a bad feeling Aria wasn't telling her something, but she decided to wait until Aria was ready so she didn't push it. She patted her shoulder in a comfort way before she sighed and stood from the bed.

"I'm going to get ready for bed. Just promise you will talk to me if things get too messy in that little head of yours, all right?"

"Okay. Goodnight, Spence.", came the mumbled response and Spencer left the room.

…

"She knows."

"Spencer knows you're visiting me?", Alex raised an eyebrow and Aria was quickly to shook her head in response.

"Not exactly. But she knows something is up. She knows I'm hiding something."

"You could just tell her, you know. No more secrets." Alex twisted her mouth in thinking then, sitting on the bed with crossed legs while Aria sat across her on the chair. She didn't want to get too close to Alex. Thoughts of their kiss still crossed her mind and she wasn't sure if Alex was going to try something again.

"I know. But she will hate me if she finds out and maybe she will have you shipped somewhere across the ocean. And I won't get the chance to see you again. Plus, I don't think she would forgive me for going behind her back."

Alex nodded slowly. "I love that you are coming to see me Aria. You know how much I appreciate that, when I was treating you and your friends so horribly, when I put you guys through that hell. I could never thank you enough for your kindness, your willingness to help me. But as much as I love your visits, I don't want to drift a kyle between you and Spencer. I care about you too much to see you hurt."

Aria chuckled. "You have changed, you know? I don't think a month ago you would say these words, let alone think them."

"Love changes you. It makes you do stupid things."

"Alex.", Aria warned slightly. She was still a little uncomfortable. She knew about Alex's feelings and Alex wasn't shying away from proclaiming her feelings for Aria either. She wasn't used this attention from anyone other than Ezra. It felt a little weird. But she couldn't deny she didn't enjoy the fact that someone other than Ezra felt so much for her. It felt good to be wanted, especially after her and Ezra's heavy phone call and the lack of reaching out Ezra had done so far. Maybe he was done with her. She had told him she wanted space. But that didn't mean necessarily that she didn't expect him to call her.

"Aria.", came the reply, and Alex's eyes twinkled mischievously in flirtation.

"You look really beautiful today, did I tell you?"

"No,", Aria laughed. "But you look healthier. Looks like you're eating. That's good. How is treatment going?"

"Me and Dean talk a lot. It helps to deal with things. It helps me get my anger issues in charge a little. We talk about you, too, you know."

"I figured." Aria smiled softly.

"I told him you're my saving angel. I don't know what I would have done without you here. When I look back at the things I did to you and you're friends I see a whole other person. I cannot believe I abducted Hanna. I am sorry, Aria. I am a monster."

"I won't say you weren't. I don't know what you did to Hanna, and she will probably never forgive you for that. And I still can't understand how you could shoot Spencer knowing she was your sister. But I do know you have changed and that you are sorry. And if Ali could give Charlotte a second chance, so can I give you one."

"Can I kiss you, Aria?"

Aria was taken aback. She had never excepted Alex to so bluntly ask her that. She had half expected her to interrupt her and take her by surprise and just kiss her again. But she had never in a million years thought Alex would ever ask permission to do so. She felt her cheeks grew warm and something tingle in her stomach, but she knew she couldn't take this too far.

"Close your eyes.", Aria demanded and Alex did as asked without even questioning it. Aria's eyes looked over Alex and with one hand she reached out to trace fingers over her face, until she held her chin in place. She leaned in slowly, and before she could change her mind she pressed her lips to the corner of the girl's mouth, letting them linger there for a few seconds. Alex didn't move. Tracing the girl's cheek once more, Aria drew her lips back slowly.

Alex's eyes fluttered open, a shy smile playing on her lips, and Aria had never seen her look so flustered. She smiled that for once Alex seemed to be so affected by Aria's actions and couldn't help but find her adorable.

"Listen.", Alex said later, after a comfortable wave of silence passed them. "I really don't want you to go through trouble because of me, Aria. I don't want to drift you and Spencer apart. I sometimes feel like you feel forced to visit me."

"I don't feel forced when I visit you, Alex. I want you to get better. And I hope that one day I can make Spencer understand and I surely hope she can forgive you - and me. I think she would like to have a twin sister that cares."

"How can you be so kind? How can you be so optimistic? I love that about you, you know? You're ability to forgive. I know what Ezra did to you."

Aria's cheeks turned rosy and she could feel the shy blush on her face. She was still a little uncomfortable whenever Alex was expressing her feelings for Aria so openly. Aria knew that Alex probably didn't even notice and she didn't want to make her feel anything other than comfortable so she didn't say anything. She tried to smile. She had never been good at taken compliments. And even though it was a weird situation, she couldn't help but feel good about being wanted. Alex had changed. And Aria was feeling more and more relaxed in her presence. She looked forward talking to her and she hoped that they could soon talk somewhere else than in Alex's tiny cell. Aria had talked to Dean and just like Alex had told her he had explained that Alex was making great progress. And he had even promised that Alex would be allowed some hours in the lobby with other patients if she kept following directions and kept up with her therapy sessions.

"Aria? Can I ask you something?"

Aria noticed that they had stayed in silence for some good time now and she nodded at Alex, always happy when she reached out to her.

"Do you think -", Alex stopped then suddenly. Her head shook wildly and she made a small, rigid movement with her hand as to say "forget it". She turned away from Aria, making Aria frown in worry.

"Alex. What is it? You can trust me."

Alex kept her gaze away from her visitor, continuing to shake her head.

"It's not about trusting you, Aria. It's silly. I am being silly. Forget it, please?"

Aria didn't know why she felt the sudden urge to touch her, but she reached out anyway and took the girl's chin lightly between her thumb and forefinger, turning her head to meet her eyes. When she did so, she almost wished she hadn't. Her heart broke a little. A few tears were making its way down on Alex's face.

"Alex.", Aria tried, but the red eyed girl refused to answer.

"Please stop.", she whimpered. Her voice cracked and Aria knew Alex was hurting.

"Please, let go." Her body shook with quiet sobs.

"Why?" Aria's concern for the girl in front of her grew. She didn't know how to help.

"Alex, you can tell me anything.", she tried again and finally Alex seemed to have calmed down a little. She moved her head, and Aria had no choice but to let her chin go.

"You will think I am crazy. That I belong in this place."

"No.", and even Aria was shocked at how confident and determined her voice sounded.

"Promise?"

"I promise." And she smiled too, just to make sure how serious she was.

"Do you think -" she started again and Aria urged her to continue. "That sometime in the future, when I get better, when I am normal again and healed. Do you think there might ever be the chance for someone like me to be with someone like you?"

Aria's breath got caught and she couldn't hide how the shock of Alex's words washed over her. She half expected Alex to try and change her words, or to take them back - or even to get angry at Aria for taking so long to say something - but Alex didn't move. She looked at Aria and waited with patience and something Aria had rarely seen in her eyes. Fear. Fear of rejection. Aria closed her eyes for a moment, trying to think of something to say - without lying to herself, without hurting Alex. She could feel the sensation of Alex's lips on hers, she would be lying if she said she hadn't liked it. Alex was attractive. Of course she was. And Aria felt something warm whenever they talked. Whenever they were close.

So? Would she even consider being with a woman?

She had kissed some of her girl-friends during drunken nights. Had even kissed Hanna once. With tongue. But hadn't really felt anything other than the vodka from the shots that they had taken. She had kissed Spencer in DC, had wanted for Spencer to do so much more than just kiss her, than just make out with her. Aria stopped. Not allowing her thoughts to go further. She almost felt like she shouldn't think about that night. It felt forbidden. It felt wrong. To think about it when they had both agreed it was nothing but an experience between friends. To think about it when Spencer clearly had forgotten it had ever happened in the first place. She tried to push away the feelings that were trying to make it through the surface. She shook all thoughts of Spencer aside.

She focused on Alex and tried focusing on what she had asked Aria. Could she? Be ready for something? With her? She just didn't know. But she couldn't say she wouldn't ever be - either. So she settled for something between a sigh and a quiet laugh and moved forward again pressing a firm kiss onto Alex's forehead, and then her cheek. Letting her lips linger there for a little too long, before taking her hand.

"Maybe." She said, finally, and she smiled. And it grew a little wider when Alex smiled back.

...

"Spencer?", she heard her name being called and turned to Ali who frowned. "Where is your head at? I called you like ten times. If you are not ready -"

"I am! Sorry! I am!"

"Okay. So let's get over this financial bills one more time and when we are done we can get something to eat. My treat, okay?"

"Okay.", she smiled and felt slightly better. She tried to focus on Ali and the numbers, to give some input and to go over everything in detail so they wouldn't miss anything. The ranch was doing good. They had their continuous number of regular visitors and it made Spencer happy to have done something productive with the place. But right at that moment she couldn't really concentrate on the incomes, and outcomes and maintenance costs and the debate wether or not to hire more staff. She watched Alison go over there numbers again. She couldn't help but wonder when Alison knew she was in love with Emily. When she knew she wasn't solely interested in men. She knew for Emily it had been different. She had dated Ben a little while but then quickly began to understand that what she had felt for Ali was different, and she had started to fall in love with Maya. They had been young then however, innocent. But for Ali it must have been different. She had been with so many men before realizing Emily was the one. Hell, she had even married crazy Archer Dunhill. So how had she realized it was Emily? And was Emily the only woman she had ever thought of being with romantically? Spencer had had her fare share of boyfriends and lovers herself, but lately Aria had been on her mind constantly. And the night before had only been more proof that Spencer had developed feelings for her best friend that went so much beyond friendship. She felt the need to be near her constantly. And it has been difficult not thinking about her when they had basically lived together for weeks now. She loved having Aria over. She felt relived that her best friend had cut ties with Ezra Fitz. And she was glad she was able to spend so much time with her. But she knew she would never have the courage to tell her how she really felt. It didn't matter anyway. Aria would never return those feelings. And on top of it all, Spencer didn't know why Aria seemed to be hiding something from her. Something important. She felt like Aria was slowly avoiding her, and Spencer didn't like it at all. All she wanted was to have her close.

"Spencer?", Alison's voice grounded her to earth again and she sighed loudly, feeling exhausted as her mind couldn't stop spinning.

"Let's get something to eat. You look tired."

"Can we order in? I don't feel like going out."

"Sure. Is Chinese okay? Or do you prefer Italian or something?"

"Chinese is good." She smiled, trying to let Alison know she appreciated this and thanking her without using the words. Since she had found out that she was Mary's daughter and in fact Alison's cousin both of them had grown closer. Their bond had become stronger and Spencer was glad that somehow something good came out of this whole mess.

When the food arrived, both of them ate in silence. Spencer knew that Alison sensed that something was up and she couldn't hold in any longer what she had wanted to ask Ali since they started setting things right at the Last Woods.

"If I ask you something, do you promise to keep this to yourself and not judge?"

Ali eyed her with a curious look but nodded. "Of course."

"When did you know that Emily was the one you wanted to be with?"

Ali looked confused for a moment, but she might have remembered her promise to Spencer because she parted her lips and started talking.

"I think deep down I always knew that I was in love with Emily. That's why I flirted with her when we were younger, that's why I practiced kissing with her and not you guys."

She laughed a little and Spencer guessed she was thinking of some memory.

"But I was also very self driven and controlling back then. I strived to be perfect, and different and mysterious. And liking, or even loving a girl was not an option back then. I kissed guys, slept with some, dated very few and even married a scumbag as you know." She rolled her eyes at this. "And it's not that I didn't enjoy being with them. I even thought I was in love. And I definitely was attracted to them. And I am still attracted to men sometimes. But I have never really felt anything more than friendship for a woman, besides Emily of course. And somehow it made it even more special to me. Over the time I was away, I realized I missed Emily the most. But I also felt like I didn't deserve her fully. I fell in love with Emily's character, with her kindness and her compassion. And then I fell in love with her eyes, and somehow I fell for everything else as well. But I also fell in love with the way she loved me. But if you ask me for a moment when I knew, probably when I saw her with Paige and felt so jealous I wanted to rip them apart."

Spencer sighed it was a little like that for her, too. Aria was the only woman she had over thought of being with. She was the only woman she had ever really kissed on the lips, and not even after Aria's visit - on the very few occasions she went to a college party and played some drinking game - had she wanted to kiss another girl.

"Why did you ask me, Spencer?"

Spencer was at loss of words. Could she tell her? It was driving her crazy, having all these feelings bottled up in her and not sharing it with anyone. She wanted to talk to Ali. But she wasn't sure if she was brave enough to tell her everything.

"I am really confused.", she admitted and Ali's eyes searched for more.

"I think I am in love with her." There. She had said it. Out loud. For the first time. And she smiled then. Feeling relieved that she had finally gotten to admit it to herself out loud and more importantly - someone else.

"In love with Emily?!" And even though Spencer was shaking inside, she laughed at Ali's wide eyes.

"No, not Emily. You don't need to worry."

"Who is it?", Ali pressed, expecting an answer.

"Aria. I think I am in love with Aria.", Spencer whispered and Ali's eyes warmed at her, nodding slowly as to have Spencer know that she understood. That she would try and help Spencer figure this out. Spencer noticed how Ali was about to speak, when suddenly she heard another voice and her face went pale.

"Holy shit!"

...

Sooo who do you think heard Spencer's confession? Any guesses? Hope you liked the chapter and I appreciate any kind of feedback! The more you review the more I feel happy to write. Until next time. Much love!


	17. Breaking Point

I just want to thank you all again for the continuous feedback and reviews you have given me! It feels good to know people like the words I come up with. Sparia might have a small fanbase, but I think those two have something special, and bringing Alex into the mix is a lot of fun! This chapter might be a little hard on the heart, but I hope you like it! Review please, and let me know what you think! Feedback helps me update faster! Also, is there anything you would like to see happen in the story? Or do you wish for a character to make an appearance? I will try to include your wishes! Until next time! Now enjoy..

...

For a second, nobody moved or said anything, but then Spencer broke the silence.

"Please. Keep it to yourself, Han, okay? No word to Aria."

The shock on Hanna's face had slowly vanished and she approached her and Ali who sat on the couch, plopping down beside them.

"Are you serious?", she asked, while rising a perfect eyebrow. "Maybe it's just confused admiration that you have? You two have always been close."

Alison rolled her eyes at Hanna's comment and Spencer let out a tired sigh. "Everything is so messed up. I don't want to think anymore. She is in my head all the time."

"That does sound like you have it bad! Do you have.. you know..like.." and she lowered her voice a little "fantasies?"

"Hanna!" Alison's hand rose to slap the back of Hanna's head. "Shut up."

The other blonde muttered something along the lines "that hurt!" but Spencer was too busy trying to hide the deep blush that rose to her cheek, her mind going to DC and the taste of Aria's lips.

"Spencer?", came Alison's voice.

"Told you!", Hanna's voice exclaimed again. "She is fantasizing over Aria! Wait until Emily finds out about this! Aria and Spencer being the newest couple in Rosewood! Am I the only one that is actually with a guy now? How is it that I am suddenly the odd one?", Hanna rambled without stopping to breath in and Spencer would normally laugh at her friend's ramblings but she couldn't find humor in that moment.

"Hanna I just told you to keep quiet! You weren't even supposed to be here! And we are not going to be the next couple of Rosewood, okay? Aria is not even interested in girls!"

"It's not like she has never kissed a girl before Spencer! Plus, you two would be adorable together! Team Sparia taking their relationship to the next level!"

"Can you please make her stop?", Spencer pleaded for Ali to help her. This wasn't supposed to be like this. She wasn't even a hundred percent sure about her feelings herself and now not only Ali knew about her messed up heart but Hanna as well. She wished the floor beneath would crack open and swallow her. Alison was about to try and get Hanna to stop talking, but Hanna was faster.

"I am sorry, Spence. I am just happy for you. This is good!"

Spencer shook her head. "I have to make this stop. Aria is never going to see me that way. This will only be harder if this continues. God, I don't even know how this happened!" She buried her head into her hands, tears making their way silently down her cheeks.

"It's love, sweetie." Alison's hands ghosted over Spencer's shaking frame, while Hanna looked over with a concerned look. "You can never control who fell in love with."

…

The room was quiet, the dim lights barely illuminating Spencer's barn. Spencer was still at work, so that left Aria sitting by herself on the couch, with thoughts running through her head. She played nervously with the small folded sheet of paper in her hand. Alex had given her a number to call. She was allowed to have an old prepaid phone now that could do no more than call a few phone numbers that were saved in her contacts. She unfolded the paper for the tenth time, starring at the small digits glaring back at her. She wasn't sure if she should call, Spencer could be back any minute and she didn't want to risk her coming in in the middle of the conversation. It had been a week since she last saw Alex in Philly and even though she wouldn't admit it, she kind of missed her presence. Getting lost in her thoughts, Aria didn't hear the turning of the key, nor the sound of her voice being called. But she did hear the sudden approaching footsteps towards her and she quickly folded the paper back together, shoving it into the side pocket of her blue hoody.

"What are you doing?" She looked over to Spencer who had sat down on the couch beside her.

"Just thinking."

"Can I help?" Spencer's voice always held a caring and warming tone that made it almost impossible for Aria to lie to her. Technically, she wasn't _lying_ about her visits to Alex, but she continued to feel guilty about hiding the truth. Aria felt like she was going behind Spencer's back and as the weeks went by, Aria didn't know how much longer she could keep this up. It had been a little over three weeks now since Aria's first visit. And since then she had been there at least four times. It was becoming harder to come up with excuses to go see her, even though Aria knew nobody was suspecting anything. She sometimes felt like she was back in time, being a teenager with too many secrets and the fear of getting caught always on her mind. Or maybe, Aria thought, it had never changed at all.

"I am good." Another lie, another hidden truth kept under the surface.

"I know something is up, Aria. You can't fool your best friends." Aria looked up then, feeling almost anxious; thinking that she might not have behaved as normal and as natural as she had thought.

"I am fine, Spence. I am. I am going to get a shower and then we can grab something to eat, okay?"

"You're not off the hook, you know. I just want to make sure you know we are here for you. Is it Ezra?" And Aria couldn't decide what the swirling in Spencer's eyes was as she said his name.

"It's not Ezra. I haven't even talked to him. He hasn't called yet."

"Are you sure it's not that? You can tell me. I won't judge. Are you sad about it?" Aria sighed. She didn't think of Ezra that often anymore, but if admitting to Spencer that she was still a little heartbroken over Ezra's and her break up, she could get Spencer to back down a little and not have her hover over like some overprotective mother.

"A little maybe. It's just been a hard time.", she whispered, adding a sigh to sound more convincing. She hated how good she had become at hiding the truth from the people she loved most.

"I am sorry, Ar. I won't push you any longer. Go take that shower, I am going to order something for us and choose a movie. It will be good for you take your mind off of things."

"Okay. Thank you, Spence.", she smiled gratefully and got up off the couch, making her way towards the bathroom, not paying attention to the folded note that had fallen out of her pocket.

…

Spencer was about to call out to Aria as she saw the small paper flutter to the ground, but she already heard the bathroom door shut close. She reached out to the floor to grab the item that had fallen out of Aria's hoodie, thinking it might be some useless recipe or something. When picking it up however, she noticed that it had unfolded itself during the fall and a number of digits was starring back at Spencer, along with a few words written underneath them: _Please call me some time. Your voice makes it easier to get through the day. I miss you already._

Spencer's eyes squinted in confusion, while her brain was trying to make sense out of the note before her. She couldn't look away. Somewhere in the background she heard the shower being turned off, and not knowing what else to do before Aria came back and saw her, Spencer pulled out her phone, snapped a picture of the paper and folded it back together. With a swift movement she threw it back to the floor, just in time as Aria emerged from the bathroom, in nothing else than a towel. It was nothing new to the taller girl's eyes, but ever since she had admitted her feelings for Aria to herself, it was harder to not let her eyes linger on Aria's wet body.

She remembered then that she was supposed to order food for them, so she pulled out her phone again when Aria went into the bedroom. It was strange how _her_ bedroom had somehow become _theirs_ as Aria was still staying at Spencer's tiny place in the barn. She barely concentrated on the voice speaking through the receiver, as she ordered some Chinese food and stressed out that the spring roles had to be made vegetarian. The note was still nagging on her brain, not leaving her a second to think about anything else. _Who could have written that? Was it Ezra? Had Aria been lying to her this whole time? Or had Aria met someone? Is that why she had been acting so weird all the time? Why wouldn't she tell Spencer? Why all these secrets?_

"So, what are we having for dinner?", Aria's voice interrupted Spencer's train of thoughts and she sighed, focussing on Aria again, trying to force a smile. Her voice glanced to the note, but she furrowed her eyebrows in confusing when she didn't see it. Her head went back to Aria, still putting on a fake smile. Aria was smiling back. "We are having Chinese.", Spencer said, never once letting the curves of her lips fall. She spotted the very edge of the yellowish note inside Aria's pocket of her pajama shorts. That tiny human being sure was quick and good at hiding things, she thought. The door bell rang and Spencer knew a long night of pretending happiness and fake smiles was lying ahead of them – probably for both women in Spencer's living room.

…

"You should call it! That's the easiest way to find out!", Hanna excitedly bounced on Alison and Emily's queen sized bed, finding the whole situation overly amusing.

"I don't know. Isn't that like invading her privacy?" Spencer was currently in the Dilaurentis-Fields house. She couldn't hold on to her secret, and she needed advice so she had decided to go to Alison for some wisdom. However, Alison had guiltily confessed that Emily had found out about Spencer's feelings for Aria. Alison had explained that Emily had been mad at Ali for staying out so long at the Lost Woods without answering her phone and when she had not reached Spencer, nor Hanna, nor Aria, she had grown worried. When Ali explained they were all at the Lost Woods discussing something important, except for Aria, Emily had felt neglected and sort of left out and not being able to stand seeing her wife hurt Alison had told Emily what had happened. Spencer wasn't really mad at all. It would have been only a matter of time until the swimmer would find out and she hadn't liked leaving Emily out either. After all, Hanna knew, and she had surprisingly been supportive about it – so she had no doubt Emily would be nothing than understanding as well.

"She could be in danger. It's not invading if you want her save, don't you?"

"Hanna, I don't think this note sounds like Aria is in danger, more like the opposite actually.", Emily said, looking at Spencer apologetically.

"What if it _is_ Ezra though? I don't really trust the guy anymore.", Ali chimed in and Emily nodded in agreement.

"I say we call and find out!", Hanna wouldn't bug, Spencer knew. They would never admit it, but somehow after all the tension about A and the loss of adrenaline their lives began to spin in routines and normality and neither one was used to this life. "I brought one of Caleb's burner phones. The person on the other line will never know who called! They won't even be able to track it back, because we will just throw it away!" The bouncing continued. Hanna was not going to give up.

"Isn't that a bit much? Maybe she just wants to wait to tell us."

"You are boring Emily, you can leave!", Hanna exclaimed, giving her friend a look of disapproval before looking back at Spencer with pleading eyes.

"I live here!", she shot back, shaking her head at Hanna's words. The room filled with silence then, nobody really sure what to say next.

"I think I want to find out." All eyes turned to Spencer then, who was still looking at the numbers in front of her. It was almost as if they were laughing at her, daring her to dial them.

"Fantastic!" In one smooth motion, Hanna had pulled out the burner phone out of her purse, handing it to Spencer with an excited smile.

Spencer's fingers moved over the phone, dialing one single number after another, the doubt slowly shrinking as she continued to fill the screen with digits. Then finally, she pushed the green call button. Hanna tried to reach out, possibly wanting to turn on the speaker but Spencer waved her hand away, shaking her head. If she was the one uncovering Aria's secret admirer, she wanted to hear the voice first. She still didn't know if she wanted to find out.

Seconds passed and the phone rang. Once. Twice. A third time. The girls next to her grew impatient as well, moving from side to side, but not daring to say a word. By the ninth time she let the phone ring, with no answer, she was about to hang up, when suddenly she heard it click on the other line.

"Hello?", the voice asked and Spencer's eyes grew wide. Her friends starred at Spencer's shocked face, wanting in into the mystery. Spencer didn't say a word. She couldn't breathe. _Did she call the correct number?_ She continued to press the phone to her ear. Anxious to find out the truth. "Aria? Is that you?", the voice sounded through the speaker, almost pleadingly. Spencer tried to not yell through the phone, tried to stay still. That was Spencer's answer. It was the right number. It was _her_. Her phone slit out of her grasp slowly, falling to the bed with a light thump. "Hello? Are you here?", the voice continued to speak through the phone but Spencer couldn't move. Her heart felt like it stood still, a pain ripping through it, emotions running through her like a race car. Disbelief. Anger. Betrayal. Pain. Heartache. Emily clicked the off button, nobody said a word. They had all heard. They all knew. Even though they had never heard the voice before, the other girls knew too. Spencer covered her ears, shielding out the voice. But it was ingrained in her mind. Her British accent sending chills through her spine, her firm voice haunting her. She couldn't understand. Her normally overdriven brain couldn't make sense of the situation. She felt lost, confused, hurt.

"Shit! Was that freaking Alex Drake on the phone?!"

...

dum, dum, duuum! Spencer knows. Aria is in trouble! Will Sparia survive?!


	18. Confrontations

Hey :) I am back with yet another chapter. Thank you for sticking with me. I don't know why recently the reviews have become fewer and less people have looked at my story, but I still want to thank each of you who takes the time to send me a quick opinion or a few kind words to my story and/or my writing. And I do want to also thank all you anonymous readers. I know Sparia is a very small ship and I don't want to complain about not getting enough reviews or hits because for me writing has also become a well loved hobby and I enjoy writing this as much as you hopefully enjoy reading it. I know I make mistakes, and as English is unfortunately not my native language I am sometimes not entirely sure if it sounds good enough.

Anyway, I am rambling too much. This is going to be an intense chapter, focusing solely on Aria and Spencer and a long due confrontation. I do hope you enjoy my writing and I am thankful for every comment you leave. Thank you. And enjoy.

...

She stopped the car in front of the house she had called home so many years and exhaled deeply. She knew she wasn't ready to face Aria, but she didn't want to be a burden to any of her other friends so she had refused their offer to stay at one of their places. She stepped out into the night, tightening her cardigan a little around her body and made her way nervously to the barn. She promised herself not to lash out on her friend, to try and listen and maybe to even try to understand. She wished it was all some big misunderstanding, and almost prayed it was another move from A, or AD or whoever would play the game next. Having to handle another anonymous person taunting her was something Spencer could deal with, but being betrayed by one of her best friends, one of the few people she _loved_ on this planet was something she wasn't prepared for.

As Spencer stepped into the warm of her place, her heart felt her presence before her eyes could see her. She felt a rush pass through her body. The tiny woman was curled up on Spencer's couch, watching something on the bright TV screen on the other side of the room. Spencer walked wordlessly up to the TV and turned it off, ignoring the fake protests from Aria on the couch. She turned to look at her then. Aria raised an eyebrow, her lips were still curled up into a small smile and she scooted over to make room for Spencer. Spencer didn't smile but sat down next to Aria anyway with her face remaining stoic. She wasn't sure how to start. Just as she was about to say something, Aria's phone rang. Once. Twice. A third time. She noticed how Aria didn't even look at it. The phone stopped ringing. But only for seconds, and the ringtone started again.

"Go ahead. Answer it. It seems important.", her voice was cold and emotionless. Somehow Spencer figured it was _Alex_ calling her. She couldn't express what she felt just when she thought about the two of them talking to each other. It made her blood run cold and her hair stand on end.

"It's okay. You look upset. What's wrong?" Spencer hated how sweet Aria sounded, like she actually _cared_. How could she act so innocent when she was stabbing a knife so deep into Spencer's back that she could feel herself crumbling down deeper and deeper every passing second?

"Spencer?", came Aria's voice again and the smaller woman reached out a hand. With force she pushed it away, making Aria scoot away in disbelief, hurt reflected in her eyes. "Are you - ", she began but her phone rang again.

"For god sakes, Aria! Answer your damn phone!", Spencer yelled out in annoyance, surprising not only Aria but herself in the process. Aria shook her head, turning the phone off and tossing it to the side before Spencer could snatch it away from her hand.

"I bet Alex doesn't like it when she is being ignored.", Spencer snorted before she could stop herself and Aria dropped the phone she was still holding. Fear and regret swirled in the brown orbs before her.

"Spencer.", Aria began, her eyes went wide and her lips parted in shock. "How – How did you find out?" Her words were whispered, laced with panic.

Not being able to stand it anymore, Spencer let out a desperate snicker, before growing serious. "I called her! I found that peace of paper you dropped and I called the number and guess who picked up? What the hell Aria? What the fuck are you doing with AD behind our back, behind _my_ back?! I trusted you!"

Spencer had long pushed herself up from the couch, and was now pacing around the room, trying to resist the urge to smash things down in her living room.

"You went through _my_ things? That note was personal. It could have been anyone, you know. You should've asked me first before acting on such impulse!"

Spencer didn't understand why Aria was trying to turn things around. Sure, it wasn't the _most_ _honest_ thing she had done, and she kind of _had_ invaded her privacy, but the other girls had talked her into it, and besides it was so not the point! Aria was to blame! She was the one who betrayed them! She was the guilty one!

"Do not try and spin this around, Aria! You know what's worse, though? You don't even _deny_ having talked to that monster! Has she brainwashed you? Is she blackmailing you or something? Because I cannot come up with one good reason why you would voluntarily speak to the one person who has made our life a living hell! She kept me captive, Aria! She tried to kill me!"

"Spencer.", Aria rose from her seat. And despite Spencer's outburst, she still seemed calm, making Spencer's rage rise inside her. She turned away from her, not being able to stand looking at her doe eyes.

"I am sorry.", came the lame apology and Spencer laughed at how ridiculous Aria sounded.

"You are sorry?! Sorry?! I have never felt so betrayed in my whole life! You were my best friend, Aria! I don't even know who you are anymore!", her rage was not stopping soon and she let out a loud scream. "I hate you!", she choked out, hoping Aria wouldn't see the tears that were starting to fall from her eyes.

"Let me explain." Spencer knew Aria was crying by then as well, but she told herself not to care.

"Explain? How many times do you actually want to _explain_? What has she done to you that you would not only betray us _once_ but _twice_?"

"She is sorry, Spencer. She is being treated, and she is getting better. She loves you, Spencer. She does. You are her sister."

"The hell I am! Would a _sister_ really shoot her own twin sister hoping she would die so she could take over for her? What the hell has she done to your brain?" She crumbled to the floor. Shaking her head in disbelief as she pressed her palms to her shut eyes, not wanting to see her friend at all. She tried to breathe in and out while her shoulders were heaving up and down. The ache she felt grew with every passing moment and soon gut wrenching sobs tore through her heart, relieving her from the pressure built inside her chest. In the corner of her eyes she saw Aria move towards her slowly, heard her voice as she begged for Spencer to listen.

"Spencer, please. Let me explain. Let me tell you from the beginning. And then you can yell and you can shout and you can throw all the insults at me that you know. But _please_ try to listen.", Aria whimpered, sliding down to the floor as well, leaning her back against the wall.

…

There was silence. But silence didn't mean a _no_ , right? And that meant that it was an approval, right? Aria decided to wait a few more seconds, but Spencer didn't say anything else, so Aria decided to try and explain. She knew it would take a lot more than an explanation for Spencer to ever forgive her. She could see the hurt and the disappointment in her eyes. She hoped Spencer would listen. Aria couldn't lose her. She had become the one person she could rely on in times of need, she had become her safe haven without Spencer realizing it. She had saved her from falling apart, saved her from Ezra, and Aria prayed that their friendship would survive this hardship.

So she started at the beginning, telling her about every phone call she made to Philly and every visit she took to see her twin sister. Told her how she wanted Alex to get better because she wanted Spencer to actually have a real chance at having a sister. She told her how sorry Alex was and how Alex had wanted Aria to fill in Spencer about their visits so she wouldn't get in between the two friends. She told her about every conversation they had and every detail Dean had discussed with Aria about Alex's condition. And even though, Spencer didn't move, didn't make a noise, Aria knew she listened. After revealing everything to her, everything but her feelings and the tiny detail of the more intimate moments they had shared, she looked for some kind of reaction; hoped for Spencer to say something.

"Is that it?", Spencer's voice sounded challenging, daring even.

"Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"I was afraid. I was afraid you would freak out, which is your total right by the way, but I was scared you - ", she couldn't finish then. She feared it would sound worse saying what she really felt.

"Scared of what, Aria?"

"I was scared you would hate me.", came the small reply. And even though it wasn't what she had planed to say, it wasn't a lie either.

"Why would Alex care if _you_ visited her?" Spencer's words stung. And Aria didn't know what to say. Should she be honest? Could she tell Spencer the truth?

"The truth, Aria. And don't try to lie to me again. I don't even know why I am even giving you this chance! So you better not screw it up!"

Aria sighed, preparing herself for what was about to come.

"She is in love with me."

Spencer's head moved and suddenly she looked up. It was the first time in minutes that they held eye contact. Her brown eyes were wide opened and Aria could hear the gasp that was escaping her lips. She looked for some kind of emotion, but found none.

"She is playing with you.", Spencer's voice turned cold and Aria began to feel helpless.

"I don't know if she is.", she said. And to some extent it was the truth. While part of her believed Alex whenever she expressed her feelings for her, the other part was still careful around the British girl.

"But she is letting me help her. And she is making progress."

"Help her, huh?", Spencer's spiteful laugh echoed through the dimmed living room. "By what? Sleeping with her? Her being AD didn't stop you from making out with her before, that's for sure."

It felt like a slap right across her cheek. It hurt. Her words stung, and Aria knew Spencer wanted them to hurt. Spencer wanted her to feel ashamed and she had a feeling Spencer wouldn't stop until she collapsed and begged for her to stop.

"I am not sleeping with her, Spencer.", Aria was still trying not to raise her voice. She wanted to talk. And she would let Spencer lash out as much as she wanted. She was just glad she hadn't kicked her out yet.

"Not yet. Tell me, Aria? What are those visits really for? Are they some fucked up booty call you go for? Is that why you left Ezra? Because he has become one of the good guys and you prefer to go for the predators?"

"It is not like that. You know I am not into - ", she stopped. Not into what? Women? Is that what she was about to say? Not into women?

"Not into what?" Suddenly Spencer rose from her sitting positing, the rage was still radiating from her body and Aria could only stare wordlessly as Spencer let herself fall down next to her.

"Not into women?" She could feel Spencer's breath tickling down her neck, that's how close Spencer was leaning into her. She closed her eyes, trying to block out what was happening around her. She tried to ignore the tingling feeling she felt when Spencer brushed a strand of her hair out of her face to whisper into her ear. "Are you nervous? Do I make you nervous because I am a woman? Did you turn into a lesbian?"

"Stop it." Aria couldn't take this anymore. This was too much. She knew Spencer was too outraged to notice what was going on. In fact, she was behaving so irrational she might not even remember why she acted this way in the first place.

"Why? Because you would rather touch my sister?", her icing words were accompanied by a firm grip on her left arm. A wave of pain rushed through her.

"Spencer, stop.", Aria pleaded.

But Spencer didn't stop. Instead, she tightened the forceful grip on Aria's arm, making her wince as she felt Spencer's fingernails bore into her skin.

"You're hurting me." It was only a whisper, but Aria hoped Spencer would let go.

"Not as much as you're hurting me!", the taller girl countered. Heavy tears were streaming down both their faces, creating waterfalls that cascaded down their swollen eyes.

"How could you do that to me?" The circling hand around Aria's arm clutched stronger around her thin arm and finally, Aria cried out as the sharpness of nails scratched into her flesh. Aria's sudden cry made Spencer snap out of her fury in an instant and she released the hold on Aria almost immediately. She slid away from her in disbelief and exhaled heavily. Both women didn't move, but Spencer's gaze was still fixed on the red marks on Aria's arm that started to show and the small amount of blood that was dripping out of one of the scratch wounds.

Aria noticed how Spencer's eyes grew in fear as she looked at what she had done. Afraid she was thinking back to the time she thought she had hurt Ali with that shovel or the time she woke up covered in blood in the Dollhouse, she crouched to her friend's side. Spencer was shaking uncontrollably, her breaths being short and fast, and Aria reached out her hand to place it on Spencer's cheek to stop her from shaking.

"I am sorry. Oh god. I am sorry. Shit, I am so sorry." Her words were barely audible through her sobs.

"It's okay. It's fine.", she tried to calm Spencer down, fearing she was going to have a panic attack. "I am okay, Spencer. It doesn't hurt anymore.", Aria lied for her best friend's sake but Spencer shook her head. She turned away from Aria, slowly rising up from the floor.

"I hurt you.", Spencer shook her head repeatably. "I was freaking out and I - "

Aria got up from the floor as well but she tried to keep a distance, not wanting for Spencer to disappear if she was about to step too close to her.

"Spencer, it's okay. You are upset. Let's talk. Really talk. I am not mad. I am the one who screwed up."

"I think you should go.", her voice was filled with sadness and regret and Aria knew she couldn't let them part now - Not if it meant Spencer would be blaming herself all night. She dared to step closer.

"You would never hurt me Spencer. You stopped yourself before it was even really hurting." She closed the distance between them so they were no more than an inch apart.

"Don't push me away. Please, don't push me away. I am sorry for not telling you about Alex. I am. I wanted to tell you. I did. I didn't want you to find out about it like this. And I know you don't understand me. I don't understand me. But she needed help, and she is still your sister. So she is family. I am sorry, I know you don't think that way, but – I am sorry. I won't talk about her anymore. Just please forgive me. I need you to forgive me. You are my best friend. You are the one person I need to forgive me, to take me back. I cannot live without you, Spencer."

Aria hesitantly moved her arms around Spencer's tense body and when Spencer didn't push her away, she laid her head against her chest – she listened to the rapid beating of her friend's heart. With a trembling hand she traced circles on her friend's back from behind, wanting Spencer to relax. She hold her tightly, even though Spencer was motionless, even though her arms hang stiff at her sides. She needed Spencer to believe how sorry she was. "Don't let go.", Aria whispered in a broken voice as she continued to press her ear against Spencer's heart. "Please don't let go."

…

Hours later they laid on the couch. No word had passed between them. After standing in the middle of the living room, Aria had taken hold of her hand and let them to sit on the couch. Spencer didn't fight it as she was too afraid she might hurt Aria again. Once seated, Aria had curled into her, pressing her small form into Spencer's and intervening her fingers with hers. And even though every fiber in her body wanted to pull away from her because of how betrayed and devastated she felt about Aria going to visit Alex in Philadelphia she couldn't bring herself from untangling her body from hers. She couldn't help the warm feeling she felt at having Aria so close to her. Even if she wanted the feelings to disappear, she coudn't stop loving her. Her breaths had steadied and all Spencer heard was the light snoring noises coming from an asleep Aria. Subconsciously her eyes moved towards the girl's arm that was pressed against her body and she winced when she noticed how the bruises were slowly forming. Tears stung behind her eyes as she thought about her actions. What was wrong with her?! Sure, Aria had betrayed her, she had crushed her heart and wrecked her inner self and not only has she betrayed her but their best friends as well but she still didn't deserve to being physically hurt. She wanted to run, to flee. It was all too much. She had hurt the girl she was in love with. How had it been possible for Spencer to hurt her best friend like that? Why hadn't she stopped and noticed the force that she had grabbed Aria with? The room was suffocating and she could barely hold on. She tried to move out of Aria's hold on her without waking her, but it was useless. She felt Aria shift then. Her head moved up from Spencer's chest, so she was looking right back at her.

"Hi.", Aria whispered and Spencer tried not to smile at the way her eyes fluttered open. It was a curse to be in love with your best friend.

Spencer didn't say anything. Her focus was still on Aria's arm and she was still trying to wiggle out underneath Aria's touch.

"Spencer, Please. Let's talk. No secrets anymore. I promise."

Spencer's eyes widened in surprise. "You do?"

"Yes." She didn't know if she had ever heard Aria sound so convincing.

"I don't know, Aria."

"Please. You can ask anything you want and I will answer. I swear. I love you too much to let this ruin our friendship." Spencer sighed. She didn't want to lose Aria either, even if her heart felt like bleeding.

"Okay.", she agreed and Aria's eyes closed briefly before she opened them again and smiled at her. There was a pause then and Spencer knew Aria was waiting for her to ask questions.

"What did she tell you the night you two talked alone in your bedroom?"

"She told me she was sorry that things went this far. She explained she was jealous of you, that she lost her mind. And explained she was in love with me and that's part of why she kidnapped you and Ezra. She wanted to pretend to be you so she could be with me, but I had figured out her plan. And then she told me she was sorry for the things she's done to us."

"She is nuts!" Spencer tried to sat up, anger rising inside her again, but the small hand of Aria's pressed onto her shoulder, gripping her shirt to prevent her from standing up.

"You promised we would talk."

"Fine.", she snorted. "Why did you start visit her this late? What made you change your mind?"

"When you were having that breakdown and I called to check if she was still there, the nurse asked me if I was ever going to come and visit. They thought it would be good for her healing process."

"Of course it would. So what? You visit her and you talk? About what?"

"Spencer."

"You said no secrets, Aria!"

"We talk about her condition, about the therapy sessions she has to go through. Sometimes we talk about normal things, too."

Spencer nodded. Then suddenly a thought popped up in her mind and she was a little wary to ask, but she needed an answer. "You said she is in love with you. Does she ever like - flirt with you? Did she try something?"

It took Aria a few seconds to reply, and Spencer already knew the answer. Before Aria could even speak, Spencer cut through.

"Just tell me what that bitch did." She was done playing games.

"Promise me you will not get mad. Promise that you will stay."

"I don't know if I can do that.", she could barely get the words out.

Aria's eyes filled with tears. "Please."

"Fine.", she forcefully agreed.

Aria exhaled slowly, and then she rushed out the words like ripping of a band aid in full speed. "She kissed me again. And then she freaked."

Spencer felt her blood boil. She wanted nothing more than to grab her car keys and give her _sister_ a fine peace of mind. She hated Alex for messing with Aria. She should've payed more attention to Aria's weird behavior. How much more messed up could her life have become? Not only had she grown to love her tiny friend, but much worse - so had apparently her evil twin sister. Fate was cruel like that.

"She did what?", Spencer hoarsely asked. "Tell me that was the last time you saw her!"

"Spencer, you don't understand. She is really confused."

"Confused my ass!" Then she grew nervous, and angry again. "Oh my god! You didn't actually kiss her back, did you? Tell me you didn't actually enjoy kissing her!" She felt her heart throbing wildly against her chest as she waited for an answer.

"Spencer." This wasn't what she wanted to hear.

"Tell me!", she yelled out and Aria let go of her shirt and let Spencer jump up from the couch again. She hovered over the smaller woman, desperately wanting Aria to deny the actions and feelings Spencer had accused her of.

"I am trying here, Spencer. It's really complicated." And that was the last strike to the fragile heart of the over achiver. The once so smart girl felt really dumb and she felt all hope vanish in front of her closed eyes.

"Please tell me you don't actually _like_ her.", Spencer whimpered. She was not longer shouting, too exhausted to bend her voice.

"I can't tell you that." Aria was silently crying by now and Spencer could hear the hurt in her words, the nervousness, the battle inside her.

"Are you going to see her again? Do you _want_ to see her again?" It was a broken whisper that Spencer could barely get out. Her eyes were locked with another pair of brown and she nervously held her gaze.

"I – Yes, I think so."

Those words hurt. Everything inside her ached. She had experienced heartbreak before. She had known pain all her life, had lived years with the fear of rejection – but this was different. This was worse than any heartbreak, worse than any repulse. This was not only her crush hurting her, but her best friend as well.

And then, without realizing, without even thinking about the meaning behind them, or even the consequences, she let the bitter words escape her dry lips:

"You need to chose. I can't do this anymore. It's me or Alex, Aria. It's me or her."

...

Sorry for the cliffhanger! I think I know where I want the story to go, but I still want to hear what you guys think :) I would love to get some feedback on this and hoped you liked it! :))


	19. Choose or Lose

Hi! wow! I was blown away with the feedback I got for the last chapter. You don't know how much your words and support meant to me! I want to thank especially those who comment on my writing and that one comment about not even noticing that english is not my first language made me so happy! :) Thank you, Thank you! I always enjoy how in the reviews there is a little war between Sparia and Arlex shippers and I am glad you are enjoying this journey :)  
Even though this chapter might make some people realize in which direction this story will go, I hope you all will still join me to the end! I will continue this journey as a writer, as long as you will have me :)

But for now, feel hugged and thanked and enjoy this chapter :)

...

She looked at the tiny woman that sat on the wooden chair in the corner of the cold cell, looking ahead with a thoughtful expression on her face. Even though she was right in front of her, she looked so far away. Alex knew Aria's mind was somewhere else, probably with Spencer. Even though she didn't feel any hate towards Spencer anymore, she still felt jealous when she was once again reminded of the strong connection between Aria and her sister. As soon as Aria had stepped into the cell, Alex had noticed that something was wrong. Very wrong. When she got that phone call a few days ago and the only thing she heard was someone breathing heavily into the speaker a bad feeling had started inside her almost instantly. She had tried to call Aria's number then, but all she got was voicemail. She was surprised when Aria showed up a few minutes ago, entering the cell with no words, just a small smile as to greet her. Since then she had not said anything other then: "Spencer found out." Alex didn't need any more details as she placed the pieces together and got a quite good picture of the events that had probably happened. Just as she was about to try and say something to cheer Aria up, the shorter woman's lips parted.

"She told me to chose." Alex noticed how Aria's voice lacked any emotion and she couldn't remember another time she had seen her so indifferent. As soon as her mind registered her words, she felt her heart drop. She knew that Aria would chose Spencer over her any day. They had been best friends since they were kids and the way she spoke about her made Alex realize that she didn't stand a chance in this competition.

"Is this goodbye, then?", her voice was low and hoarse and Alex body shook with fear. She was about to lose the one person who believed in her, she was about to lose everything that had ever mattered to her in seconds and even though she didn't want to be mad at Aria for wanting to save her friendship with Spencer, she felt hurt and devastated.

Aria's hand rose as she pressed her inner palm to her head, as if to make a headache go away. "She waited for me too chose. She told me it was you or her, but I couldn't get the words out, so she threw me out of there."

Alex couldn't believe what she was hearing. Aria couldn't chose? Did that mean she had an actual chance to keep seeing her? She tried to not get too excited, but she couldn't control how her heart that jumped up and down with joy.

"I am sorry, Aria.", she began. And she truly was hurting for Aria. She didn't like to see her so sad, and she wished she could do something to make things better. "But I am really glad you came to see me." Alex wanted to be honest. She had spent her whole life lying and betraying people who didn't deserve the mistreatment and she had decided it wasn't what she wanted to anymore.

Aria gave her small nod in response and the corner of her lips formed almost an actual smile. _Almost_.

"I don't know why I am here honestly. I am risking _everything_ to be talking to you. But I didn't want you to think I gave up on you - " Alex couldn't believe what she was listening to. This was a dream come true. Somewhere in the back of her mind she thought of having a real chance to be with Aria now. If it meant that Aria chose her over Spencer, did that mean they had a chance now to be together? Aria surely hadn't missed the sexual tension between them and the more Alex looked at Aria the more she wanted nothing more than to grab her hand and kiss her until she couldn't breathe anymore.

"I am so happy to hear that. You don't know how much that means to me Aria. I know this must be hard, but I am sure things will get better in the future." Tears welled up in her eyes at the joy she felt.

"I can't believe you chose me."

The words left her without thinking and as soon as she spoke them she regretted them. The facial expression on Aria's face had changed and she stood, crossing her arms over her chest defensively. "Alex, I didn't chose you over Spencer. You understand that, right? I am here because I want you to get better. I want you to have a real chance at life. But being here does not mean that I chose you over her, or that she is less important to me."

Even though she would have expected them, hearing those words didn't stop her from feeling crushed. The heart that had jumped in excitement just seconds ago had dropped low and she forced herself to simply nod.

"Can I ask you something, though? No excuses. Just the truth." She had always wanted to ask Aria something that was burning in her head and now that she felt like she could lose her any moment, that any moment could be their last one shared together, she felt brave enough to ask.

Aria seemed taken aback, but she nodded. "Yeah, sure."

"Do you actually care about me? Because I feel like you do. And I really hope you're not here just to prove to Spencer that I am somewhat healed again and getting better. And please tell me I am not just an unfinished project to you. Because if you are just here so that someday Spencer and I will reconcile and be one happy family, you can leave. I messed up, I know that. And I wish someday she will be able to forgive me for what I did, but it has to be at the right time. She needs to have dealt with everything first. So - are you just here to help out Spencer, or _me_?"

Alex noticed the surprise that shone in Aria's eyes and she felt dizzy while waiting for Aria to answer. Somehow it was so much more to her than a silly question. She wanted to know if there was actually someone who really cared about _her,_ and not just because it might help or benefit someone else.

"I promised you the truth. And the truth is I started out visiting you as much for Spencer as for myself. I needed to deal with what happened, I needed answers and I figured you were the best way to do that. And I wanted for you to get better so Spencer could have a real chance to have another sister. But I did care about you from that night you confessed everything to me in my bedroom. I saw how much you were hurt by your own actions and I felt the urge to help you. I felt that pull towards you and I needed to know you got better."

It wasn't everything Alex wanted to hear, but it was the truth and that was the best answer she could get. She smiled "Okay."

Both women held eyes for a moment, before a ringtone interrupted the small moment between them. Aria glanced at her phone quickly and stood up then, letting it ring in the background. "I have to go."

Alex tried not look too disappointed but stood up to lead her to the door of the small room. "Will I see you again?", she asked in a timid voice and she hoped with everything in her that she would.

"Yeah." It was rather an unsure whisper than a concrete answer, but she would take what she got. Alex smiled then and bravely stepped forward to hug the girl who she harbored so much intense feelings for. Aria didn't seem to mind though as her hands moved around her too.

"Goodbye.", Aria said smiling and before they parted Alex leaned down to leave a kiss on the rosy cheek, when suddenly Aria pulled away completely. "No."

Rejected and hurt Alex took a step back, waiting for Aria to explain.

"Alex. If I am going to visit you, I am going to be here as your friend. I am sorry, but I can't." She was about to push the door open, when Alex smacked it close again, pushing her palm to the wood in front of them.

"Why? You like me. I know you do. You kissed me back the other day! I felt it! This is more than a friend coming to visit and you know it!"

"I am really sorry, Alex. I am sorry I gave you the wrong impression. I was hurt. I felt lonely because Ezra and I had just broken up, but I can't be with you like that. I will try and see you and we can talk and I will get you through this, but you need to stop doing these things."

Alex knew she should feel grateful for at least having Aria as her _friend_ , as someone who really cared - but it hurt all the same. Every possibility of having something real with this beautiful soul shattered into air and for her that was the worst feeling in the world.

…

The day passed and Aria still hadn't heard anything from Spencer. She had tried calling her and even showed up at her doorstep once but with no success of seeing her. All Aria could see was the heartbroken face of her best friend before she had asked her to leave. She knew she was stupid for not answering her right away, but even though it was not a question who she would choose over, Aria still felt that Spencer asking that was _wrong._ She had never really been put in such a situation before and part of her was hurt that Spencer had seemed willing to cut Aria out of her life immediately. The hardworking writer had read enough novels and had watched enough romantic comedies to know that people who make someone chose between them and somebody else couldn't be too sure of their relationship. And still Aria tried. She had talked to Hanna for two seconds, who had basically called her a bitch and hung up right away and then had called Emily, who had called back when she was with Alex. When they finally talked, she had gone into the bathroom so Alison wouldn't know she was speaking to her as Ali was beyond pissed as well and apparently didn't want Emily to talk to her either. Emily had also given her some piece of mind but unlike the others she had actually listened to her side of the story and said she wouldn't stop being her friend just now. Aria was glad she had at least Emily she could count on, even though their conversation was cut short as Emily had to go back to Ali.

She hadn't talked to Alex since her last visit over a week ago. She did text her to check on her though and promised to visit again soon. She figured things couldn't go worse than they already were and at least she could feel like she did something that mattered. She still held a flicker of hope that one day Spencer would see why Aria so desperately wanted for Alex to get better and that they could form a relationship that wouldn't be based on mutual hatred.

Sitting in her pajamas on her parent's couch in the living room, she stirred the coffee in her right hand and wondered how she had become so lonely in such a short period of time. She had debated calling Ezra for a minute, but she didn't want to drag him into more chaos and she also didn't want other problems to rise again so she had given up on that thought rather quickly. Her parents were fortunately both on holiday, so at least they weren't being nosy and hadn't asked a bunch of question when she had told them she would be staying at the house again. She glanced at the ticking clock in front of her and saw it was almost midnight. It was a Saturday night and she wondered if her friends were out somewhere, celebrating that she was finally kicked out of the circle.

…

"Spencer I don't think you should drink any more of these." Emily remarked as she tried to reach for Spencer's shot of tequila. Spencer didn't really comprehend what was happening around her but she did know that in that moment alcohol was the one thing that numbed the pain in her heart so she wanted more of that. As Emily took her glass away she reached for it again, giving Emily an angry look.

"Hey, that's mine, Em! Get your own!"

She saw how the tanned girl shook her head. "Spencer, you've had enough!"

"No! No!", she whined like a small child, reaching again for her treat. "Mine!"

Suddenly a blonde girl appeared next to Emily, and it took Spencer a second to realize it was Hanna. "Hanna!", she excitedly screamed and evolved her in a tight hug. She could hear her whisper something into Emily's ear that sounded like "What's up with her?", but Spencer was too intoxicated to fully grasp the words. Soon another blonde stood next to her friends and Spencer's mind felt dizzy.

"Hanna, you have a twin!", she observed as she pointed to the other blond in shock.

"Spencer, it's me Ali.", the other blond explained with a shaking of her head and Spencer laughed loudly, forgetting for a moment that she needed more booze.

She felt an arm grab her waist and jerked around to see Emily slowly guiding her away from the bar. Understanding what was happening she stopped and firmly pushed her feet to the floor in order to stop moving. She looked to the bar and smiled wildly, thinking of shots of Tequila and Margaritas. "I want more of that!"

"Spencer we are taking you home!", Hanna chimed in and dragged her across the dance floor as her head was spinning and her vision blurred.

She felt a little sick as she opened her eyes again and recognized the house they were parked in front. She turned sideways to find Emily and Alison on either of her sides and turned to see that Hanna was sat in the front seat.

"I've got her.", she recognized Hanna's voice say and saw how the blonde walked out of the taxi and to Spencer's door. She felt too sick to move and thought she might throw up on the spot but Hanna managed to get her out of the taxi and with a quick goodbye to Ali and Emily she helped her to the barn.

The flickering of the lights hurt her eyes, but it was soon forgotten as she felt her stomach grumble and she sprinted towards the bathroom, heals clicking behind her. She felt her hair being pushed away, and heard Hanna's comforting voice. Half an hour later, after cleaning up and drinking lot's of water she felt slightly better and a little more sober. Hanna had not left her side and was now rubbing circles on her back.

"Are you better?", she asked motherly and Spencer slowly nodded.

"Yeah, thanks for taking me home."

"Of course.", her blonde friend gave her assuring smile and Spencer felt lucky to have such caring she son friends by her side in moments like these.

"You should get some sleep, Spence. I will stay with you, all right?"

As much as she appreciated her help she wanted rather to be alone.

"Han, I am really glad you've been here to help me but I think I would like to be by myself for a while."

Hanna's eyes softened at the tiredness in Spencer's voice. "Are you sure? I don't feel good to leave you here by yourself."

"I'm sure. And if I am not anymore I will call okay? Text me when you're home. The Uber is on me."

Hanna gave in and with a soft kiss to her forehead and one last smile she disappeared to the door.

When Hanna left Spencer took another bottle of water finished it half and popped a paracetamol into her mouth for the pain in her head to decrease. She was still feeling tipsy as she made her way through her kitchen. She wondered what had made her drink so much in the first place when suddenly Aria's name rushed through her mind.

Subconsciously she reached for her phone pushing through her contacts to find Aria's name blind her on the bright screen. She knew that calling her was irrational and stupid but the alcohol clouded parts of her brain and she suddenly thought it wasn't such a bad idea. She wanted to get her anger out and she concluded that it wasn't fair for her to be so heartbroken when Aria was probably on the phone with Alex. In one swift motion she grabbed for her jacket, glad that Aria's house was just around the corner. Earlier in the evening Emily had slipped that Aria was staying with her parents again even though they were away again and that had earned quite a look of disbelief from Ali who wasn't very happy about the obvious conversation they had shared.

After stumbling over her back yard and making her way towards Aria's house in one piece, she stormed to Aria's door. Wide awake and confident she let her fist hammer at the wooden door, waiting for an answer.

...

"Spencer?", Aria was surprised when she saw her friend stand just inches away from her and she didn't know weather to feel thankful or scared.

She moved slightly to let her pass.

"Why?", Spencer asked in a desperate tone and searched with her eyes for an answer. Aria was confused.

"Why what?"

"Why did you chose her? Why did you chose her over me? Why does it hurt so so much? Just _why_?"

She saw tears streaming down Spencer's face and wanted nothing more than to hold her. She could see that she was trying hard to keep a balance and that she had probably been drinking. Her heart ached for her and she wanted to step closer. But it wasn't the right time. At least not yet.

"Spencer I didn't chose her over you. You know I could and would never do that. But you took me by surprise by even asking me to chose. Like it didn't matter to you if you lost me at all."

"Like it didn't matter?! Aria I've been trying to hold on to you since the day I got thrown into that gutter by that stupid creep! You were the one who got me through it! The thought of you being save and you coming to my rescue! And then you did and I - I just. I really tried, Aria. I tried not to, but I couldn't help it."

Aria was confused. There was something that Spencer was holding back, something that she wasn't fully saying. "What? What is it?"

"It doesn't matter anymore. There is Alex now and you - so I will try and forget.", Spencer half slurred. Aria blinked. She didn't know what Spencer meant with that.

"Spence, I told Alex -" Spencer didn't even let her finish the sentence as she pressed a cold hand to her mouth.

"Stop! Stop saying her name!" Aria could smell the alcohol on her breath and she grew concerned as Spencer's eyes seemed to wander dizzily around the room.

"How much did you drink, Spencer?"

"Now you care? I am a grown woman! If I want to get drunk, I can!", she had never seen Spencer this way. She was normally the responsible one, the one in control and see her lose that side made Aria realize that something was really not okay.

"Spencer. What's wrong? Talk to me. What is it that you can't tell me? Please. Maybe I can help."

"Don't you get it? You cannot help me! You cannot help me because _you_ are the problem, Aria!"

The small woman blinked as Spencer's words hit hard. "What?"

"God. Are you really that blind?"

Silence took over the room for awhile as Aria was to dumbfounded to say anything.

"I am in _love_ with you!" The world stopped and all Aria could do was stare into the dark brown eyes of her friend. Her heart pounded wildly. She wanted to say something, but Spencer beat her.

"And I don't want to be because all it does is hurting me! I've been hurting non stop because I can't think about anything else than you!"

"Spencer. I -", she tried again. Emotions swirling in her body. She didn't know what to think of this, but she couldn't ignore the warm feeling she felt.

"I have been so stupid all this time! All this time this tiny part of me felt hope. All I can think about is Washington. Do you even remember that night? Or has Alex succeeded to brainwash you fully now?!"

"Listen - " She needed Spencer to listen, so they could both talk and figure this out. Just the two of them.

The other woman shook her head, clearly not wanting Aria to explain.

"I don't want to hear it! I am in love with you, Aria. I love you. But I hate you all the same. For making me feel that way, for making me forget everything around me and for doing all these dump and irrational things - like showing up here in the middle of the night because my stupid heart misses you!"

"Spencer!", Aria begged one more time but it was no use. She felt her heart ache as Spencer moved to the door. She wanted so desperately to hold on but she felt her slip away in seconds and she could do nothing to stop it from happening.

"Don't. I will forget. It will take time but I will get over you, eventually. So don't. Just please. Leave me alone. Don't call. Don't text. Because you're making it so hard not to love you, Aria. And I can't. I just can't keep loving you. It's killing me."

She was gone before Aria could say anything else and Aria's mind went blank for a moment.

It took Aria a second to realize what was happening and then her feed took over her body and she was sprinting after Spencer.

"Spence! Spencer, wait!"

She rushed to the street, trying to catch up with her friend as she saw her back in the dark. The only light illuminating her tall body were the few street lights. She grabbed hold of the first thing she could catch, an elbow, and didn't let go. She felt an electric jolt rush through her as Spencer's body turned and Spencer's eyes burned into hers.

...

I hope you liked it :) I have already the next chapter half written, but I am curious about what you guys think will happen :) Also, even though it seems that this story is going into the direction of Sparia, Alex will not disappear! I have some plans for her, so be patient please!

I am going away again for a few weeks, but I wanted to finish this before I leave because you were so awesome at reviewing that I just had to give you another chapter and a direction before this little break :)

So - Spencer deserves some happiness, right? Let's see how long she has to wait for that...


	20. Goodbye?

(Rating: Strong T)

Hello! It's me again :) I am back from holiday and finally had some time to update this story :) I hope you guys like it.. it's still a long way to go for Sparia to be happy! Thank you again for all the support and the reviews, you are awesome! Thanks for all the kind works and I am happy that you are enjoying this story so much! I apologize in advance for no Alex in this chapter - but she will be back in the next one! Promise :)

Have fun reading it, enjoy :)

Spencer threw the remaining clothes that lay shattered on the floor into her suitcase as tears rushed down her pale face. She needed a break. A time to breathe and to find herself again. She felt lost. Her emotions couldn't stop swirling and her heart didn't stop breaking. She pushed away the small doubts forming inside her head and ignored the whispering inner voice in the back of her mind that sounded too much like Aria, pleading her to _stay_. She couldn't stay. She needed a fresh start. She needed to be away from Rosewood again. It was too much for her to cope with. She needed to be alone, away from all the drama a small town like Rosewood could hold, away from the one person that kept bruising her delicate heart until there was nothing left to break.

 _36 hours before_

 _Her heart stopped as Aria's brown eyes starred back into hers and the hand that had reached for her arm in desperation had now travelled up to grasp her shivering chin. As Spencer's eyes danced with Aria's in the dimming street lights, the taller girl felt suddenly light headed and she couldn't think straight anymore. All she could think of was Aria and the beauty she held as she looked up at her. Maybe it was the remaining of alcohol that clouded her rationality or maybe it happened because for once her heart took over her brain, but not even a minute had passed and Spencer's hands flew to Aria's cheekbones to hold her in place and a second after she dipped down to lay her lips on hers. She almost let out a tiny moan as she felt Aria kiss back immediately, her slim arms reaching up around Spencer's neck to bring her even closer to her. Spencer smiled into the kiss, feeling the rush of the alcohol being replaced with desire and love for the brunette in her arms. For a while Spencer thought she was dreaming but then Aria let out a small giggle and she felt the smaller woman run her tongue over Spencer's bottom lip. The moan Spencer had tried to hold back escaped her lips and Aria's tongue slipped into her mouth as it found Spencer's to dance with in rushed circles. Spencer's hands couldn't stop moving as they had left Aria's rosy cheeks and had travelled down her body. They moved in sync for a long time, as tongues battled for dominance and hands caressed the other's body and Spencer felt herself slipping into a state of delirium. It wasn't until she felt Aria's lips part from hers that she crashed back into reality. Adrenaline rushed through her veins and she suddenly realized what was happening around her. Her eyes searched for Aria's. She was terrified to find the one thing that she would never be able to stand in them. Regret. Finally, she made eye contact with Aria's still fluttering orbs and as Aria looked up at her, Spencer nearly fainted as she saw the dark color reflecting in those beautiful eyes of her best friend. Not being able to talk, Spencer rose a hand to Aria's face to caress it softly as she placed a loving kiss to her forehead as her other hand brought her close, wanting Aria to know how much she enjoyed this moment and telling her silently she would not let go. She felt Aria's body move even closer and felt tiny hands encircle her back as Aria rested her small head to Spencer's chest, breathing in and out and sighing softly, making Spencer's heart flutter in happiness. She had never imagined for Aria to want her back. Had never imagined being able to feel so much for another human being. Suddenly, all the love she had carried for Toby for such a long time felt foolish compared to the amount of desire and adoration she felt for the woman she held in her arms right at this moment. No words were exchanged between the two, but Spencer felt Aria slip slowly out of their embrace. She feared that the moment was ruined but soon felt a hand clasp around hers and Aria led them away from the chilly night, back to her house._

 _Spencer felt nervous as Aria closed the front door behind them and she followed her to the living room where Aria sat down on the couch and was tugging Spencer's hand to sit with her. When Spencer sat down, she felt Aria's body move closer and her chin buried into her shoulder, their hands still firmly connected. Not being able to stand the silence, Spencer was the first to speak._

" _I can't believe this is real."_

She wiped away the tears as the memories flooded her mind. Her body was betraying her as she still could feel Aria's hot breath on her skin and her lips graze hers in a feather touch. Angrily she slammed the suitcase shut and grabbed her phone and ID from her nightstand. She was ready to head out of the door when she heard her phone ring. She sighed as she realized who was calling and quickly rejected it. She thought she had made it clear to Aria that she didn't want to talk anymore. She was tired of talking, tired of hurting. She finally understood that Aria and her would never be real, at least not in the sense Spencer wanted them to be. With one last look to the barn she moved out of the doorway and closed the front door – ready to take some time away from Rosewood and the problems it had caused her during all those years. She knew she should have returned to Washington a long time ago, but her sense of loyalty and her protective nature had made it impossible to turn her back on her friends before. Now it was different. AD was gone, or at least she was locked away in psych and her friends weren't blackmailed or traumatized anymore. It was the right time to go. Spencer finally felt ready to leave the small town behind. Her mother hadn't been to keen about the idea of her daughter leaving but she had been supportive enough to trust Spencer in her decisions. As she walked up the small path to her car, she wondered if her friends would ever forgive her for leaving without saying goodbye. A second later though she decided it was for the best as she was too scared of Aria finding out and trying to stop her. She would let them now that she was save and that she loved them and would miss them terribly. And she hoped they understood that it was something she had to do in order to move on. Move on from Rosewood. Move on from Alex. Move on from her shattered heart.

"Goodbye, Rosewood.", she whispered as the engine roared and off she went.

…

"Spencer, I know you don't want to talk right now, but please – call me back. I need to talk to you. We need to talk. I need to explain. You cannot just disappear into thin air and ignore me all day, you know? God! Why do you have to be so fucking stubborn all the time? Shit – I am sorry, I am. Just – Please let me know you're save, okay? Spence, I -"

"Fuck!", she yelled out at the peeping tone that indicated the time limit was reached and she threw the phone to her bed in frustration. Pacing around her rooms in circles, her mind couldn't stop spinning. She needed to talk to her. She needed to explain. Why was everything always so complicated in their lives? Why couldn't they be happy – just for once? It felt so good to just be and not having to worry, not having to think about consequences. She wished she could just go back to the night two days ago and make things right.

 _"It is.", she whispered with a smile and pushed Spencer down on the couch, hovering above her while admiring her beauty. Suddenly, she felt like everything made sense. This felt right. Spencer made her feel good. She made her forget about Alex and the drama of her recovery. She made her forget about Ezra and her failed relationship and almost marriage. She made her forget about her fears and doubts about the future. She closed the gap between them and crushed her lips onto Spencer's, tangling her fingers into thick long hair and enjoying the feeling of her body pressed against hers. She could feel Spencer shiver beneath her, could feel the rapid thumbing of Spencer's heart against her own chest and she was sure her heart was beating just as fast, finding the same rhythm. Lost in the kiss, she barely noticed how Spencer's hands had travelled from her back down her body. Only when she felt Spencer's cold fingers trace soft patterns on her bare skin did she let out a tiny moan that was soon silenced by Spencer's tongue dancing with hers. She couldn't help but notice how different it felt this time compared to when they had kissed in Washington. She was completely sober now and aware of her surroundings and unsurprisingly it made it all the more special. She felt her shirt being moved upwards and lifted her arms in response as the taller girl slipped the fabric over her head, their lips only parting for seconds. Opening her eyes she smiled down at her, her eyes dancing mischievously as her hands danced over the buttons of Spencer's blouse, popping them up one after the other and slipping it over her shoulders without losing contact. Lost in brown eyes, she let out a squeal as Spencer rolled them over, taking over control and dipping down to leave open mouthed kisses on her collarbone and down her chest._

" _You always have to be the one in control, don't you?", she laughed and was answered by teeth biting softly at the edge of her bra that was soon being unhooked and thrown onto the pile of clothes on the floor. Aria let out a whimper as she felt wet kisses being pressed onto her breast and her nails scratched into the thin skin they could grasp on Spencer's back. As Spencer's tongue continued to tease her exposed chest, Aria shivered as her own teeth were sinking into a shoulder blade to suppress the urge to scream out in desire. Her other hand was holding tight to the mass of hair and as Spencer's kisses went down south and her own lips lost contact with the pale skin, she felt her best friend push down her jeans first. Needing something to hold on she let her hands fall to her sides and grasped the fabric of the couch. Spencer looked up briefly, her eyes asking for permission and as Aria nodded firmly Spencer pressed a light kiss to her left thigh before finally removing Aria's last piece of clothing. As Spencer's mouth wandered dangerously close down south, Aria closed her eyes and moaned out Spencer's name, anticipating what was about to come._

Even now she could feel how heat rushed through her veins at the solely thought of Spencer's hands on her skin or the feel of her lips against her own. Her mind still played with images of Spencer's mouth pleasuring her in a way she had never experienced before and the thought of Spencer's face the moment Aria had made her come with her fingers inside her made Aria want to take a cold shower. She would be lying if she said she had never imagined being with Spencer, especially after their night in Washington where she was ready to let herself go. However, no secretive fantasies nor her deep dreams had prepared her for the flood of emotions that had exploded inside her that night. She now knew that any attraction she felt for Alex had probably been because she had felt lonely, or maybe it was because she resembled Spencer so much that Aria's body had reacted to her flirty nature and Alex's adoration for her in such a way. After being with Spencer though all thoughts of being romantically involved with anyone else than her best friend since middle school had vanished and all she could think about was Spencer's words of declaration she wished she could have said back.

…

 _Slowly coming back from her high to reality, Spencer's arms continued their hold around Aria's naked body. Her trembling fingers danced over her porceilan skin in adoration and Spencer couldn't express the amount of emotions that just seemed to grow deeper inside her heart. For once, Spencer felt happy and it felt so good to her because the feeling had been pushed so far back into her mind that she had almost forgotten what it really felt like. Being with Aria, having her in her arms in such an intimate way and for her to be content enough to stay with her meant the world to her. It made Spencer forget all their troubles and hardships and formed the bright smile on her face she couldn't hide. She couldn't get enough of Aria though, so she kissed her neck softly and whispered into her ear, ignoring the giggling coming from the younger girl as her breath tickled her exposed skin. "You're beautiful." Aria turned to her slightly, pecking her on the lips and snuggled into her once more, clearly enjoying the way Spencer pressed her into her own body from behind. Spencer's mind was racing though. She couldn't stop thinking about this moment and what it meant for them. Being this close to Aria, Spencer suddenly felt brave enough to voice the words that played over and over inside her head, like a broken record, never stopping._

" _I love you. God, Aria. I am so in love with you - it's driving me mad."_

Looking back now, Spencer wished she had never said them. It didn't help that her mind was replaying the scene over and over in her head. She turned the radio station to another one, hoping to find some music that could set her mind free of thoughts of Aria, even though it seemed impossible. The longer she drove though, the farer she left Rosewood behind, the more relaxed she felt. She had already driven about an hour, so if she kept up with her speed she would be there in about three more hours. Away from Rosewood, away from all the drama, away from _her_.

…

"Aria?", Hanna answered the phone in a surprised voice.

"Hey. Have you talked to Spencer today? Do you know where she is?", Aria cut right to the topic, not wanting to waste any more time.

"No, I haven't. Why? What's wrong?"

"It's nothing. Don't worry, Han. I – I will call you back later, okay?"

She was about to hang up, when Hanna's voice sounded through the receiver again. "Did something happen between you two?" Her tone was softer now and Aria sighed deeply. "Did she tell you?", Hanna asked further and Aria went still.

"What do _you_ know?"

"We _know_ Aria. We know about you and that bitch. It was a shit move. You know that, right? I can't understand why you would do that to Spencer. You should have seen her, Aria. If you weren't my friend, too, I would ring your neck!"

"Okay, calm down now, Hanna. You just don't understand, okay? Spencer doesn't understand. That's your _fucking_ problem. You don't _want_ to understand!"

" _Understand_?! Aria, you're hooking up behind Spencer's back with her twin sister who was the one responsible for all of us being traumatized! How can you not see how fucked up this is? Do you not get what you're doing to Spencer? Hell, Aria! She is in _love_ with you!"

Aria's breath got caught and she replayed Hanna's words in her mind.

"You _know_?"

"So she did tell you, huh? And what? You chose the crazy psych over her? Are you that insane?"

"It's not like that, Hanna. You know that I would never choose Alex over Spencer." Aria could barely form the words now, she felt trapped.

"You just don't love her like that, do you? I am sorry. I shouldn't have yelled at it you. It's not our fault who we fall in love with. I just hate seeing her this hurt. And I am still pissed at you for visiting AD."

Aria barely listened to what Hanna was saying, her mind drifted to Spencer again and her heart ached in a way she couldn't explain. She felt like hope was slipping away and in the end she had no one to blame but herself.

 _None of them moved for a few seconds and Aria tensed up in Spencer's arms. The taller girl sensed the change of air in the dark room and slowly released her arms around her midsection turning her slightly so they were looking at each other. Aria was scared. She hadn't expected Spencer to say these words and now that they were out there was no chance of taking them back. This would change everything between them at this very moment, and Aria wasn't sure if it was for the better or for worse. She couldn't get her lips to form words, so she stayed silent even though Spencer was begging her with her eyes to say something, she could read her like that, she always could. "Please say something.", the older girl spoke after more seconds had passed but Aria was too scared to let the words pass her lips. "Aria?", Spencer tried again, moving a little further away on the couch, creating space between them and Aria felt the cool air hit her body. "I don't know what to say.", she confessed finally and Spencer's eyes widened in shock and frustration._

" _I just spilled my heart out to you, and you don't know what to say?"_

 _The fear in Aria took over and she couldn't stop herself. "Spencer, I thought this was more like a spur of the moment thing?"_

" _What?" Aria could see the anger in Spencer's eyes but she didn't know how to clear up the mess she made._

" _I am sorry, I like you Spencer – and this was – it was amazing, so much more than that. And I could never imagine being like this with any other woman, but - "_

" _But you're not in love with me?" Aria never thought that she would ever become the reason to see all the color of Spencer's face vanish and tears forming in her brown eyes as she tried to maintain her stoic face. She wanted to take her into her arms and whisper soothing words to her, trying to make this all better. But she couldn't. Because now it was her own self that was hurting her best friend like that._

" _Spencer, I didn't know you felt that way. I am sorry, I - "_

 _"Don't apologize.", she sighed. "I know it's not fair to you. We don't choose who we fall in love with."_

 _"Spencer, please. Let me - "_

" _What's there to say, Aria? I am in love with you. I love you. I want to be with you. Tonight has been one of the best nights in so long for me. And I will forever remember this. You. But I know now it's not what you want."_

 _"I wanted this! I don't regret this, Spencer! You - "_

" _I know.", Spencer leaned forward, kissed her temple quickly and drew back._

" _But I can't stay here any longer."_

 _Aria watched helplessly as Spencer got up from the couch behind her, fumbling with her clothes and trying to put them on without falling as she was moving so quickly._

" _Please don't go.", she whimpered, not sure what to say but clearly not wanting Spencer to leave._

 _"Please stay."_

 _"Tell me Aria.", Spencer spoke, her back turned towards her. "Tell me you didn't sleep with me because you needed someone close. I know you love me. I know you didn't intent to use me. But tell me. Do you want to be with me? Did you sleep with me just because you think I am attractive or because you realized you're in love with me and you couldn't imagine being without me? Because that's how I feel about you and if you're not feeling the same way I don't know how this could ever work." She hang her head then and moved to the door._

" _You're my best friend.", Aria cried, her heart aching in pain as Spencer haltered at the door. "I didn't want to hurt you, Spence. I like you, I - I like you more than just a friend. Last night. It was like being in another universe and I know I want you. I know I am not there yet. But I think I could fall in love with you. You're this great girl and I know you inside out. So I want to try this. We could try!"_

 _Spencer shook her head. "I don't want you to think, Aria, or to try. I want you to know. I am sorry. Goodbye."_

"Aria? Are you still there? Are you okay?"

She let herself fall to the floor, her phone clutching in her hand and tears streamed down her hot cheeks while reliving the memory before her closed eyes.

"No, I am not okay. I need to see Spencer. I need to explain."

"Do you think that's a good idea?", Hanna's voice was calm but Aria noticed the worried tone it held.

"I am not going to hurt her, Han. I will call you back. I will try Em and Ali."

She hung up before Hanna could protest any further and dialed a new number.

"Hello?"

"Hey, have you or Ali seen Spencer lately? Like today?"

"No, why? What did you do?", Emily accused angrily into the phone and Aria was taken back by the harsh tone coming from the normally calm swimmer.

"Okay. Back off, Em. I know you know about me seeing Alex, and believe me I know it was wrong but if I tried to explain you wouldn't understand and right now I need to see Spencer. I just need to talk to her. Do you know where she is?"

"No, we don't know. And even if we did we wouldn't tell you. You hurt her, Aria. You better hope she is okay! Bye."

"Emily! Ali!", she tried but all she heard was the dial tone ringing in her ears and tiredly she slumped further to the floor, clueless what she should do next.

...

Sooo, still no happy Sparia, huh? It sucks. And I really do apologize about all those Alex/Aria fans! I do want Alex do continue to be a part of this story; but from this point on it will be more of a friendship between the two of them and Alex trying to get passed her feelings for Aria. But I do have someone in mind that could make Alex happy! :D

I hoped you are happy with this chapter, and please don't forget to leave some words, the tiniest message will make my day and put a smile on may face! :)


	21. Hope

hey there. I am back with yet another chapter! Enjoy!

...

Silence. It was the most painful sound to Aria's ears. She laid in bed motionless, waiting desperately for her phone to ring. She had run out of ideas as to where Spencer might be, and Aria doubted she was even home as there was no light shining from one of the rooms when she had passed it earlier. She tried not to worry, tried to not think of the scenarios that normally went through her head whenever one of the girls wasn't in constant communication with them. Aria tried to calm down, telling herself that Spencer didn't want to be found because she wanted to be alone, but somehow nothing worked and she felt her heart ache more and more for the tall brunette.

Thinking back to the night, she felt shivers run through her body. She wanted Spencer to understand how confused she was. She had been attracted to guys all her life, had wanted to marry Ezra just months ago – so why could Spencer not understand how difficult it was for Aria to accept the fact that she was falling for a woman? She knew she wanted to be with Spencer. And her mind couldn't shut off with imaginary pictures and the sound of her voice - but _love_ was something Aria had only really felt once. With Ezra. And it was so consuming, almost _too_ consuming, that she just wasn't sure if she wanted to feel it again. Being with Ezra had meant to make sacrifices – to the point where she had almost lost her own self in the aftermaths of finding out about his book, in the way she had given up her high school experiences to date an older guy, perhaps missing out on better colleges, or more flirts or simply more _fun_. And she had been too involved, too clouded with emotions to ever really speak up, to fight for what she wanted. Her whole high school experience was branded by _him_ , her teenage years didn't even feel like _teenage_ years as she and her friends had been to busy too fight A and Aria was too busy hooking up with Ezra behind closed doors – all while being scared of getting caught, and then scared of not being good enough for someone as experienced and as educated as her English teacher. Aria sighed deeply as she looked up to the ceiling. It was simple, really. She was scared. Scared of falling in love again; scared of giving up herself in order to become part of a relationship – but mostly, Aria was scared of not being good enough for someone as driven and as perfectionist as Spencer Hastings.

…

Alex laid still. The night would soon fade away into morning and yet another day would pass that went without seeing her. She missed her, even though she didn't want to. Every time _she_ was there, things were better, easier. Dean was trying. He really was a great guy and he could even get her to laugh from time to time with one of his silly jokes but Alex still missed the small brunette that had taken a part of her heart she didn't know existed. She knew she could never compete with her sister. Jealousy spread through her body at the simple thought of Aria choosing Spencer over her. And it evoked something in Alex she had tried so hard to push away – anger and envy. She couldn't help but think how unfair it was that Spencer had once again been the lucky one. It made her mind race and she desperately tried to keep those horrible thoughts lurking at the surface in the back of her mind. She wanted to get better, she didn't want to be crazy anymore, but she also needed some kind of motivation to move on, to go on with her treatment – she just hoped that Aria would come back soon and give her the strength she was yearning for.

…

Stepping into the dark apartment, she flicked on the lights and pushed her suitcase inside. She closed the heavy door and went to grab her water bottle out of her small bag, collapsing on the soft couch in exhaustion. Her eyes wandered over the walls and the paintings which she didn't recognize. She was glad she had found an apartment to stay in so quickly. She thanked the internet silently and pulled her legs up on the sofa, relaxing as she starred a the bare ceiling. Hours ago she had wished for nothing else than this. Silence. Being alone. She reached into her jeans pocket to look at her phone, blinking in surprise when she saw that she had more than 13 unanswered calls and over 20 unread messages. She scrolled through them, the hint of a frown tugging at her lips when she realized they were all from her friends who were starting to get worried over her quick disappearance. Most calls were from Aria. She sighed at seeing her name, but she refused to call her back. Instead, she typed in a group message to let them all know she was okay but needed some time to be alone. Not a second later though after she pressed "send", her phone rang once more. She squinted her eyes as she saw Hanna's name lighting up on the screen. For a millisecond she thought of declining the call, but then she decided she might as well talk to her in order for the others to leave her alone.

"Hello?"

"Spencer?", Hanna exclaimed, her voice mixed with both - anger and relief.

"Yeah, it's me. I told you I am fine."

"Where are you?"

She debated telling her or not. "I'd rather not say."

"Bullshit! We were all worried sick! I know what happened! I know what happened with Aria. She's been all over the place since you've been missing! Where the hell are you?", Hanna yelled through the phone and Spencer had to push her phone away from her ear.

"I am fine, Hanna. I am in Washington, okay? I just need time.", Spencer finally revealed, hoping their discussion would end.

"In Washington? Why? Spencer, you can't just flee from your problems! Are you staying at a hotel or something?!"

"Hanna, I don't _want_ to stay in Rosewood anymore, okay? It's toxic. I don't know why anyone would want to live there voluntarily. You should all just leave that horrible place. And _no_. I am not at some hotel, okay? I am on campus. There was a student flat free, so I took it."

"But Roewood's home.", Hanna's voice was weak and Spencer guessed that Hanna knew she was right.

"If home is Rosewood, I would rather be homeless." She sighed deeply. "I am sorry. I just couldn't stay there anymore. I need a fresh start. I need to be by myself. Please tell the others, too. And tell Aria that I am sorry, but that I can't talk to her right now. Goodbye, Han."

Before Hanna could get out another word, Spencer had hung up, shutting her phone off and enjoying the silence of her new _home_.

…

Days passed and even though Aria knew that Spencer was safe in Washington, she couldn't help but miss her terribly. She still hurt over Spencer's parting without so much as a goodbye and she couldn't understand how easy it was for Spencer to cut ties completely with her and the other girls. It had been over a week since she had seen her and as time went on she began to lose hope slowly. She knew that she wanted to try. The only thing holding her back from jumping on a plane that second was the fear of hurting Spencer even more.

Thoughts of Spencer continued to fill her mind as she knocked slowly on the closed door, waiting to be let in. She knew that it was a bad idea coming to visit Alex, but she had grown to like talking to her and even if the girls wouldn't like her saying it, she had missed her. Over the weeks, Alex had become a _friend_. A friend she wanted to help out and she couldn't back out now, even if it meant to go behind everyone's back. She hated betraying her friends, but Spencer had left them by themselves in less than a second – without a word – and for Aria that was much worse than to help out a bruised soul.

"Come in.", she heard her tired voice and Aria entered the room hesitantly. She wasn't sure what to expect and she hoped that Alex wouldn't hate her for being absent for so long.

"Hey, Alex.", she smiled briefly, letting Alex know that she cared.

Alex's eyes widened in surprise as she turned to Aria and returned the smile softly. She placed the book she was reading on the side and got up from the bed, standing awkwardly in front of her. Breaking the tense atmosphere, Aria leaned forward and hugged the other girl, squeezing her briefly before letting go to sit on one of the chairs. Her eyes travelled to the book on the bed.

"I see you're allowed to have books?", Aria was happy to know that Alex seemed to make progress.

"Yeah.", the other girl chuckled as she sat down on the bed. "Nothing too crazy, though. It's a story about friendship."

"Sounds nice."

"It is."

"How are you?", Aria dared to ask as her eyes tried to find the answer by looking over Alex's outer appearance. She was glad when she noticed how healthy she looked compared to the first time she saw her in that room and couldn't help but feel proud.

"Good. Better. Dean is really trying and he is helping me whenever I feel I could slip." Alex smiled widely. "I was allowed to go with him to the park the other day.", she proudly added and Aria couldn't help but grin at the good news.

"That's so awesome! I am really proud of you, Alex!"

Alex's cheeks turned into a rosy color and she turned her head a little, possibly to hide her blush. Aria bit her lip, thinking that maybe she had said something to make the situation uncomfortable but Alex looked back at her, nodding softly.

"Thank you. Look, I know you said you don't feel the same way. And I tried really hard to understand and I think I do. I am sorry if this is uncomfortable for you, but I want you to know that you are important to me and that I appreciate you coming here – as a friend. I need a friend. And I am so glad to have you. Like I said, you make things easier.." She drifted off then, starring out of the window with a thoughtful expression on her face and Aria couldn't help but wanting to reassure her.

"I am here for you.", she promised, reaching out to place her small hand on top of hers. "I want you to get better, and I really believe in second chances. I know there is no excuse for what you've done but I can understand where you were coming from, even though it was all very wrong. But that's the past, and you've changed, and I can't help but feel proud of you. You're so strong at fighting those inner demons and I think you deserve that second chance, a chance to make things right."

Heavy tears were running down Alex's cheeks and Aria quickly wiped them away with her free hand, wanting Alex to know that she would be there for the journey to recovery. The two stayed in silence, but finally Alex asked about the topic both of them had managed to avoid until that moment.

"Have you spoken to Spencer?" Aria couldn't help but hear out the jealousy in those words and she tried to not think about the weird feeling she got when sensing it.

"I have. She needs some time off, so she left Rosewood for a while." It wasn't a lie technically, but Aria knew that Spencer wouldn't come back in just a few more weeks. She tried not to show her frustration for it and focused back on Alex.

"Oh, wow." Aria could basically hear Alex's brain working on overdrive.

"What is it?", she prompted, wanting to understand.

"I just think it's a little ironic. You chose her over me and now she left the both of us here in Rosewood to get away.", her remark didn't hide the bitter undertone and she sighed deeply as soon as she had realized the meaning behind her words.

"I am sorry, Aria. I know she is your best friend. And she is _my_ _sister_. I just had hoped, wished even, that maybe she would come around."

The writer couldn't help but feel sorry for the poor girl in front of her. She could only imagine how hard it was for Alex to not being able to talk to Spencer but she could understand Spencer's side as well. She squeezed the hand beneath hers a little tighter, wanting to comfort Alex in the best way she could.

"I am sorry, too, Alex. I had hoped that, too. But like I said, I am here. You are not alone in this. And I know that sooner or later, Spencer will be here, too." She wasn't sure if she could promise anything, but seeing her this sad and hopeless she couldn't help but add: "I promise, Alex. I promise to try my best for the two of you to at least talk things out."

An hour later Aria stepped into her parents house. Talking to Alex made Aria feel a little better, but on the other hand it made her miss Spencer even more. Before she could even rationalize what she was doing she had thrown some of her clothes into a duffle bag and was out of the door, determined to find Spencer before it was too late for her to change her mind about leaving her behind. How hard could it be to find someone living on campus?

…

The loud knocking on the door made it impossible for Spencer to go back to sleep. As much as she tried to ignore it as it was probably just a neighbor or even the landlord, she couldn't anymore. As it was well past midnight she looked into the peephole first, and immediately regretted her action. In front of her door she could see Aria swaying from side to side, a bottle of what looked like tequila firmly pressed in her hand. She grew angry, because even though she wanted nothing more than to ignore her and go back to her bed, she couldn't leave her drunk friend outside. She pulled the door open with every intention to rant out at Aria for not leaving her alone. However, she didn't even have a chance to open her mouth as Aria let the empty bottle fall to the floor and ran into Spencer's surprised form. The taller girl barely caught her with her arms, so they wouldn't both stumble to the floor. Aria's arms snuggled around Spencer's shoulders in seconds and soon Spencer could feel a head being pressed into the curve of her neck. She secured the hold onto the smaller woman as she let out a sigh of relief when the tequila bottle didn't actually broke but was coming to a stop at one of the walls. She was about to bend down to force Aria out of her grasp, when she felt legs tangling around her knees and a wetness on her exposed skin. She heard Aria mumble something along the lines "I missed you". It took her a minute to realize that Aria was crying into her neck and as angry as Spencer should be at her friend for coming to see her in that kind of state, she couldn't help but grow soft when she heard the heavy sobs escaping her friend's lips. Without another word she used her left foot to kick the empty bottle inside the apartment and carried the crying girl into the room with her, not letting go of the hold on her once.

Struggling to hold them up both and keep them from falling, Spencer had managed to reach the bedroom. She lifted Aria up a little bit more to sat her down on the bed. Clearly not being aware of her surroundings, the smaller girl was swaying from side to side, trying to keep her balance. Spencer reached an arm around to steady her and began to unzip her jacket. "Aria, you need to change." The other girl responded briefly, so Spencer could take off her jacket and placed it on top of the nightstand. Looking down, she bend down a little to untie Aria's shoes as the intoxicated girl reached for Spencer's shoulders in order to hold on.  
"Spence? Your room is spinning really badly.", she let out and as soon as Spencer had removed the shoes she looked up at Aria again. "Do you need to be sick?", she asked in a rather calm tone and Aria shrugged her shoulders, probably not really knowing what was happening. Not wanting to risk anything, she placed an arm around Aria's shoulder to help her get up and lead her to the bathroom where she sank down on the floor with her. It was then that she noticed how shaky Aria was. She was shivering all over her body and it made Spencer worry how much she had really drunk. Not being able to stand the sight, she reached for Aria to pull her into an embrace to rub a hand over her arms in order to calm her down a little and warm her up in case she was cold. Aria snuggled into Spencer in response and the brunette let out a sigh at the close contact. "Are you okay?", she whispered into wild locks of hair and she could feel Aria's head moving slightly. "I am now."

They stayed there for what felt to Spencer as hours, until Spencer decided Aria wasn't probably getting sick. "Let's get you into bed, okay?" She tried to stand up, but Aria kept holding her back down, shaking her head wildly. "Don't leave me."

Sensing Aria's tense body, Spencer decided to slip a hand under Aria's knees and lift her up. "I am here, okay? We're just going to tuck you in so you're more comfortable." Aria's head once again moved into Spencer's neck, as Spencer walked the two of them out of the bathroom. Spencer tried to ignore the tickling she felt as Aria's breath came in contact with her skin, but it was nothing compared to the feeling she felt, when she suddenly felt Aria kiss her neck. "Aria.", she warned as she entered the bedroom. But Aria wouldn't listen. "I am sorry. Spence, I am so sorry.", and she felt wet tears again. She let Aria down onto the bed, and tucked her in, covering her body with a blanket and decided it was best to let her sleep in her clothes that night. She noticed how Aria struggled to keep her eyes open and she stood from the bed when she felt Aria's hand reach for hers. "Stay. Please."

Probably sensing how conflicted Spencer was, Aria added: "You make it easier to sleep." And Spencer couldn't help but feel her heart warm up at Aria's words. She nodded, knowing fully that she was risking her heart to be broken again. But in that moment she didn't care. It didn't matter how Aria had found her, it didn't matter that Aria had shown up in the middle of the night, unannounced and despite Spencer's pleads to be left alone. Somehow, it just mattered that Aria was okay. She slipped into bed next to her and as Aria turned to her and snuggled into her, tightening the hold on her hand, Spencer felt at ease.

"Spence?", she heard Aria whisper after a few minutes and she opened her eyes to stare into Aria's brown orbs. "You should get to sleep, Ar."

"I know, but I just wanted you to know.", she spoke timidly.

"Know what?", Spencer whispered curiously.

"That I won't give up on this, us. You're the one that I want."

Hearing those words, made Spencer's body shook with emotions and her heart beat rapidly. "Let's talk tomorrow, okay? When you're sober."

"I am not so drunk anymore.", Aria argued, lifting her free hand to cup Spencer's cheek as a lonely tear fell from Spencer's left eye.

"I want you to know that I want to love you, Spence. I do. But I am scared."

Spencer grew confused and moved closer to Aria, despite wanting to protect her own heart. "Scared of what?"

"Scared of love, scared of loving you too much. And I know if I will let myself fall, I will fall so deep... Because you are this person, Spencer. You have the ability to make me forget the world when I am with you and when you look at me sometimes I get this feeling that there is no place I would rather be other than with you."

Spencer's heart pounded wildly in her chest and she wondered if Aria could hear it, too. "And that is bad?"

Aria sighed. "I just - With Ezra...He was so consuming; loving him was too much for me. Our relationship was never balanced, I know that now. And I lost myself in that relationship. He dominated our relationship. I wasn't myself anymore. I was too fragile, too scared, of not being good enough because he was older, wiser. I was scared of being left alone. And now, with you. I am feeling these things I've never felt before. I feel safest when I am with you, I always have. And I want to be with you, I want to let myself fall and love you like I've never loved before, but I am scared. Scared of not being good enough for you."

Aria moved her head slightly, away from Spencer and Spencer guessed she felt too vulnerable to meet her gaze. She wouldn't let her though, as she carefully reached for her friend's chin to turn it back to her. Smiling shyly at Aria, Spencer moved forward and pressed a loving kiss to the bridge of Aria's nose, lingering there for a second before drawing back. Her hand however remained and had now cupped Aria's cheek. For the first time, Spencer felt like she knew what was going on in Aria's head. She knew what she was thinking and why she had acted that way and she couldn't help but want to believe everything she said. She wanted Aria to know that she didn't need to be scared and that she was there to catch her.

"Thank you for telling me." She whispered, moving slightly to kiss her forehead. "For trusting me. I feel like I finally know what's going on in that little head. But I don't ever want you to feel that you're not good enough." Spencer paused then, taking time to make Aria understand how serious she was. "Because you are. You are the one person that takes me as I am. And when you're scared I want you to know that I will be right here. I am here, Aria.", she spoke softly, caressing Aria's cheek and wiping away silent tears that had managed to find their way down Aria's face. "I love you.", she said the words with certainty and Aria looked into her eyes, smiling and covering Spencer's hand on her cheek with her own. "Promise to catch me when I fall?" Spencer laughed lightly, letting go of Aria's hand that was still tucked in hers to wrap her arm around her, drawing her closer. "I promise.", she vowed and Aria grinned, daring to shift her face closer and connect their lips. And for the first time in years maybe, Spencer felt that _hope_ was not such a bad thing at all.

..

I hoped you liked the chapter and all of your Sparia hearts can rest a little for now :) Thanks for the support! Please leave me some words weather or not you liked the chapter! Also, I was thinking of introducing Mona to the story and have her pay a visit to Alex? What do you think?

Until next time! x


	22. Steady

Hey. I don't know if most of you just didn't like the previous chapter or if I have lost all those Aria/Alex shippers, but I was a little surprised by the lack of response. It's always a weird feeling when you see that a chapter has been viewed around 500 times and there were a few hundreds of visitors, but only three or four end up responding. I hope you still like the way this story goes and I am sorry for not going the way a lot of you hoped, but Sparia wins my heart. Still, I will try to incorporate Alex' character more. And I am always open for suggestions and comments, as well as critique! So feel free :)

Anyway, here is another chapter. I don't know how long this story will be, I guess it depends on the readers? Are you willing to bare with me for longer, or do you think I should come to an end soon? Please tell me :)

As always, Enjoy!

...

Aria's eyes fluttered open as she heard the shrilling sound of an alarm clock. She buried her head into her bed, groaning as the ringing sound didn't stop. She felt her bed move then and she furrowed her forehead in confusion. She opened her eyes fully then as she adjusted herself to the bright light shining into the room. That's when she noticed the silence; it was also when she realized it wasn't her bed she was in fact sleeping on, but rather a body. She looked up quickly and then soon relaxed when she saw Spencer looking down at her with a smile.

„Hey.", the taller brunette whispered softly and leaned down to press a kiss on her head that was still resting on Spencer's chest. „Mmmh.", she let out and turned her head to press her lips to Spencer's collar bone as the events of the night before replayed in her mind. She couldn't believe that they had finally talked and Aria hoped it was the first step of many to take into something bigger. Suddenly though, all soft feelings turned into confusion as she felt Spencer sat up.

„I am sorry, Ar. But I need to get ready." Aria felt Spencer's hand move through Aria's hair as she slipped out of bed only to bend down again and kiss Aria's cheek. „Sleep some more. I'll be back soon, okay?" However, Aria was wide awake by now and sat up in bed to catch Spencer's wrist before she was out of the room.

„What's the rush?" She hadn't intended for her voice to sound so small, but she couldn't help but feel that Spencer was trying to make an escape.

She didn't have much time to think about it though, as Spencer had sat down on the bed again, reaching out an arm to caress Aria's cheek.

"Hey.", she heard Spencer whisper softly. "I meant what I said last night. Every word. And I want you to know that I want this. You." She kissed her then, firmly as to prove a point and Aria couldn't help but melt into the kiss.

Aria pushed away softly. "So, why do you have to leave so early then?" She just wanted for them to finally be honest which each other.

Spencer sighed, not stopping her hold on Aria's cheek. "I have a job interview.", she rushed out and Aria turned her face so Spencer had to let go of her cheek.

"What?", she asked shocked and moved farther away from Spencer. "And you didn't think of telling me?", Aria let out hurt.

"I just told you!", Spencer remarked, probably waiting for Aria to throw a comeback at her, but she didn't. She just nodded. "Okay, then.", and Aria could see Spencer's confusion.

"Aria, I am sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but it's just an interview. I thought you didn't want me and I -" She looked away for a second. "I want you, Aria, but I can't stay in Rosewood anymore. It's killing me to be in that place."

Aria nodded, understanding where Spencer was coming from, but it didn't mean that it hurt any less. "So, now what? You're just going to stay here while I go back to Rosewood? How is that even going to work?"

Spencer sighed again, moving to her drawer to throw on her pants and searched for her white blouse. "Aria. Look, I would _never_ force you to move away from your family, from our friends, so I won't ask you to move in. I won't. Not yet. Because you deserve to have what _you_ want. And I know you are not ready to leave Rosewood. But just know that me getting a job isn't going to change how I feel about you. I know we can make this work."

Spencer managed to close the last button of her blouse and straightened it out a few times; Aira knew she was nervous. She got up from the bed then, walking over to the girl she had known since they were little kids and hugged her, resting her head against her chest for a while, enjoying the sound of Spencer's heartbeat. "The thought of you even considering for us to move in together sometime in the future, makes me so happy. It's real, isn't it? This?"

She felt Spencer's arms move around her waist, drawing her close. "It's very real. Now wish me luck and promise you will be here when I get back, ok?"

Aria laughed lightly at Spencer's request and stretched slightly, kissing her on the mouth. "Good luck.", she whispered against her lips, kissing them once more, before moving out of Spencer's arms and back to the bed.

"If you do good, I might have a price?", Aria smirked and she could see Spencer's eyes dance in desire, before letting out a deep breath.

"Don't tease when you know I am gonna have to be professional. See you soon. - Oh, and don't think we're done talking about the fact that you even knew where I lived and showed up here so drunk I had to literary carry you into this room, missy!"

Aria chuckled and saw Spencer grab her hairbrush and some of her make up to probably get ready in the bathroom and let her go back to sleep. "Make me proud.", she called out to her and Spencer turned briefly to wink at Aria and smile happily at her.

…

Walking along the streets of Washington, Spencer couldn't believe how her world had changed in just a few hours. Suddenly, she felt a new source of energy running through her body, a feeling of happiness and love and lightness that she didn't know she had missed so much until she had it back. Of course she wasn't naive enough to believe that everything was going to be perfect, and Spencer knew she and Aria had to talk about their relationship and how they were going to make a long distance relationship work if she ended up getting a job in DC, but all these issues felt small and manageable, because she finally knew that there was something _real_ fighting for and she made a promise to herself that she wouldn't stop fighting any time soon.

…

The buzzing of Aria's phone made her sit up in bed and she reached sleepy for it to take the call.

"Hello?"

"Aria?! Thank god!", Hanna greeted her in a high tone and she could hear the relief in her voice.

"Is everything okay?", Aria asked worried and now fully awake again.

"That is the question _I_ am supposed to ask here! I call you about 10 times yesterday to know where you are after all this blow up with Em and Ali; then you finally text me around midnight and tell me that you are somewhere in Washington, drunk off your ass, and you don't even know where you're going - only for then ignoring all my messages and calls for the entire night! So _no_! It's not okay! Don't you ever do that to me again!" Hearing Hanna's shrill voice and hectic words made Aria almost laugh because it was just so _Hanna Marin_.

"Relax, Han. I am fine. I am sorry about you yesterday. I ran into this frat party yesterday while looking for Spencer's place and this guy invited me in to have some drinks; it was nothing. I am sorry I worried you."

"Yeah, whatever. I am just glad you're okay. Where are you now anyways? God, don't tell me you slept with the guy! Aria Montgomery!"

Aria's eyes widened. "What? Of course not! I was there for only about an hour or two!"

"So – Where are you now? Oh! No way! You found her?!"

"Yeah. Long story."

"I want to hear it!", the blonde pleaded and Aria laughed, but gave in.

"Okay. Don't complain. So, at this party there was this frat guy's older brother who was our age and he had some friends with him, and guess what? One of them was a lawyer and finished his degree in Washington in the same class as Spencer did. So he knew Spencer briefly, but he didn't really know where she was staying - but I was just so desperate and pleaded with him to find something."

"Did you promise him something in return?", Hanna laughed out and I rolled my eyes even though she couldn't see it. "What? No. Gross. So, anyway, he contacted some people he went to law school with and boom – one of the girls he messaged was actually a good friend of Spencer in college. I called her myself then and asked if she knew the address, and she did. Turns out however, that Spencer rented the place for a couple of days only, so there was no "Hastings" label at the door.

"Shit! That sounds complicated! How did you even get there? You didn't walk there by yourself, did you?!

"I took a cab! It's fine.", Aria assured quickly.

"Okay, good thing your mind still functions a little bit with alcohol in your system."

Aria sighed. "Actually, the boys made me take one. But, yeah. It's fine. Don't worry. So I stand there and I have this nearly empty Tequila bottle in my hand and that's when I decided to ring one doorbell after the other. Of course, nobody wanted to let me in and I guess it's understandable given the fact that I must have slurred the words."

Hanna giggled amused "What did you even say to them?"

"I told them the truth! That I had to see the girl I liked because I screwed up!"

Hanna gushed into the phone, sounding happy for her. "That is so romantic! I wished somebody had filmed that! Spencer should see this! Wait! You're at Spencer's right?!"

"Patience, Hanna!", she joked and she heard Hanna scoff.

"Well, of course you are! You wouldn't sound so happy if you weren't. Hi, Spencer!", Hanna greeted through the phone and Aria couldn't help but laugh. "She is not here, Han. Let me finish the story, okay?"

"What? Where is she?", her voice alarmed now and Aria hushed her. "The story, Hanna!"

"But it's just so long!", Hanna started to complain but Aria was having non of that.

"I told you before! And you wanted to hear it! So suck it up and listen.", Aria demanded firmly but with a light tone and she continued before Hanna could interrupt her once more. "Okay. So I ring the door bells trying to get in, and then, suddenly, this old lady laughs at my request and opens the door! Saying that there was a girl going in into the apartment earlier that day with a suitcase opposite her house! She gave me the number and I rushed up the stairs, I think I needed 20 minutes to reach the top but I managed. And then I rang the door, waiting for Spencer to open and five minutes later she was there in front of me."

"Ohhh! That is so cute! Spencer must have been pissed though, right? I mean I were if it was me! Hell, I don't know if I would've let you in."

"Thank you very much, Han."

"I am sorry, Ar. You just really hurt us. Not just Spencer, you know?"

"I know. And I am sorry. But, it's complicated, okay? But I know what I did was wrong."

"You are not going to go back there are you?! To Alex I mean...", her friend trailed, off making Aria a little nervous and unsure what she could say to not make a big deal out of this.

"It's complicated.", she repeated herself, sighing deeply. "I know you don't understand. But just try and trust me, okay?" Aria was getting tired of having to explain herself to everyone.

"Aria, this is not okay - "

"Can we please not talk about it? Not now. I still have to have that conversation with Spencer, and its going to be a lot harder, so please Hanna?"

She heard Hanna sigh on the other line and she hoped it was a _yes._ "Okay." There was a short pause. "So, what's the deal with you two? Spencer didn't kick you out, I guess?" Aria noticed the shift in her voice and she couldn't blame her. She was just glad she hadn't hung up on her.

"No.", she answered, a smile resting on her lips. "She let me in, took care of me and then I sobered up and we started talking about our feelings and I know now that I want to be with her. I haven't felt this much in such a long time, Han. She makes me happy."

"Good. I hope you two can make this work. Just please, don't hurt her again, okay?"

"I promise."

It was then that Hanna laughed softly. "I am really happy for you, you know? And I am proud of you for finally admitting it and leaving Ezra behind. I know it has been hard for you these past weeks. Just know that I am here, okay? Whatever you need. Caleb, too, by the way. For both of you. He has a soft spot for you now, Ar." Aria giggled, remembering her and Caleb's rescue mission only a few weeks ago.

"Tell him I said hi, okay? And don't worry about me, Han. I am finally at peace. I think I just needed to realize what I wanted, and I did."

"I am glad. I will call later, okay? So you two can give me details about your new relationship!", she chuckled. "How did four of my best friends end up dating women?" Aria laughed, getting more and more comfortable with herself every passing day. "I know, right? Wonder, who's next. I hear Mona is single again?"

Hanna snorted in response, but Aria could hear the amusement in her voice. "She is. But I am happily married. We're still trying by the way. We talked to a specialist a few days ago."

Aria grew nervous, she knew that it was a big deal for Hanna and she herself had to deal with news that were heart shattering not too long ago. "And?", she asked nervously.

"Some new methods, some hormones, we will see."

"I do believe that it will happen, Han. You deserve it so much.", Aria said, trying to show faith.

"Thank you.", came the reply, and then Aria heard some rustling in the background.

"Call you later, okay? Caleb just got home. Love you."

"Yeah, talk to you soon. Love you, too. Tell the others I am sorry about the other day."

"Will do, bye."

…

She let herself in, closing the door behind her and put her purse aside. "Aria?", she called out and seconds later she heard the shuffling of socks moving through the apartment.

"Hey!", Aria greeted, approaching the taller woman with a smile. Spencer couldn't help but stare at her in awe. She was still not fully grasping on the fact that she was _hers_. She frowned. Was she though? Of course they had talked about wanting to be together, but did that mean she was her girlfriend now? Or maybe they were they just dating to see how things would go? Her train of thoughts was interrupted by Aria's hand that had reached around her neck and was now forcing her to lower her head. A moment later Aria had captured her lips with her own, snatching another arm around Spencer to deepen the kiss. It was moments like this that made the doubts fade away. The shorter one drew back slowly, holding her face still close to hers.

"How was the interview?", she questioned as she ran a hand over Spencer's neck and Spencer let out a content sigh.

"It was good, I think. They said they would call." She smiled briefly before taking one of Aria's hands, leading them to the couch. She sat down first, reaching for Aria's thighs to draw her closer. Aria obliged instantly, stepping in between Spencer's legs and running hands over her back and neck before dropping down to connect their lips once more. In between soft kisses and muffled moans, Spencer reached for Aria to inch even closer, grabbing her by her waist and moving her on top of her own body as she lay down on the couch.

"You have no idea how long I have wanted this.", she admitted, looking into Aria's shining eyes.

"Tell me.", Aria whispered, their faces just inches apart.

"I think that I've always found you attractive. But it wasn't that I knew something was off with my feelings for you until Alex told me her plans to hook up with you." Spencer's head turned then, not really wanting to talk about those memories, especially when she knew that Aria had been visiting Alex.

She could see Aria bitting her lip as she let her head rest into the crook of Spencer's neck. She searched for Spencer's hand to hold tightly in hers. "I am sorry it took me so long to realize.", Spencer heard her whisper and she felt her heart skip a beat as she felt Aria's lips press into the palm of her hand. "I am sorry that I went behind your back and that I started visiting Alex. And I am sorry how much I hurt you."

Spencer tensed under Aria's touch, not sure she was ready to have this conversation, but Aria continued to hold her hand, and intertwined their legs, so she couldn't move. "I am sorry. I am. And I wish I would've told you. And I know you and the others think I am insane. But all I want is for you to trust me. You don't have to understand, I get that now. _I_ sometimes don't understand. Just trust me, okay? Please. I am doing this for me, too."

Spencer's heart started to speed up, her muscles tensed and she fought with herself to not push Aria off of her. She tried to calm down, to take Aria's words in and she finally relaxed a little, when she noticed that Aria was brushing her free hand through Spencer's hair. "Please don't push me away.", she heard Aria whimper and it made Spencer realize that despite everything that happened with Alex; that despite the fact that Aria had been visiting her evil twin sister in Philly without her knowing, Spencer couldn't hate her. She couldn't. And she didn't want to let go either.

Because in the end, Aria chose _her._ And she had promised herself to not let her go again. "I am not going anywhere, Ar. I don't agree with you but I will try. I will try to listen, okay? Not for Alex. But for _you_. Because I know it's important to you." She raised her hand that wasn't still clasped in Aria's to caress Aria's back, slipping it under Aria's shirt softly, wanting to feel her skin.

"Thank you.", she heard Aria say with a small smile. She looked down at her, the doubts creeping in slowly once again and decided she needed to say something.

"What are we?", she voiced the question she had not dared to ask before.

Aria's eyes squinted in confusion. "What do you mean?", she asked, not stopping to brush her fingers through her hair, and clearly trying to understand what Spencer was thinking.

Spencer sighed. "I mean. Are we dating? Do I get to call you my _girlfriend_? Do we keep this a secret, because you know my parents and - " Aria kissed her quickly, stopping her in her rush.

"I hope so. Of course. And whatever you decide." She kissed her again and Spencer smiled. "We don't have to tell people right now, Spence. I mean Hanna kind of knows but - "

"Wait, Hanna knows?", she interrupted confused and Aria explained the phone call.

"Okay. So the others will know, too", Spencer concluded. "What if I my parents find out?" She knew she sounded ridiculous. She was an adult now and she wasn't supposed to feel threatened by her parents knowing who she was dating, but somehow this felt bigger. She knew her conservative family and while Aria's parents might open up to the idea of them being together, Spencer just couldn't imagine her parents being too happy about it.

"They won't.", promised Aria, and took her hand to kiss it quickly before meeting her eyes. "We've kept secrets for years. I don't think we will have problems with this one."

Spencer chuckled, and then grew serious again. "I know. I just don't want you to feel like I am being unfair to you, to us." She didn't want Aria to think she felt anything less for her. She was afraid to upset Aria now that she wanted to keep this between them until she was ready to open up to her family.

"Spence", Aria began. "I know your family. I know _why_ we are doing this. And it's worth it to me. I want this, us. It's the only way we can make this work and convince our families this is real - whenever we're ready to tell them." That said, Aria kissed her again, and Spencer couldn't help but smile. "Have I told you how lucky I am to have you?"

Aria laughed lightly. "It helps that you're hot!"

...

Good / Bad? Let me know with a comment! Always Love, M. :)


	23. Surprises

Hey guys! i am back with another update :) Hope you like the new visitor..

Enjoy! :)

...

Before she even heard the opening of the door, Alex could see a head popping through the slim gap and it didn't take long for her to recognize that it was Dean.

"Hey.", he smiled, a little nervous, and Alex wondered what was going on. She raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"There is a visitor for you.", he announced and Alex' eyes lit up. She had missed Aria. She always managed to make her feel good after her visits and it was really the only thing she looked forward to these days, apart maybe from her few trips to the park with Dean. She was still trying to cope with the fact that Aria had turned her down to any chance of having something beyond friendship, but she was grateful that Aria didn't abandon her when Spencer found out she was coming to visit. Alex' eyes travelled to Dean and she smiled softly at him and nodded, indicating for him to let her visitor in.

He stepped aside then, and suddenly anticipation turned into confusion when she noticed that it wasn't Aria who was standing in her room, but non other than _Mona._ She was glad she didn't freak out right this second as all she could do was stare at her unexpected visitor.

Before she could say something, it was Dean who spoke again. "Ms James here told me she is an old friend of yours and wanted to see you when she found out you could receive visitors now. Is that all right with you?"

Of course she had thought about changing her name, Alex thought. Mona probably knew Alex had mentioned her when she was telling Dean her story, but Alex was certain he had never seen a picture of her and because this was Philadelphia he probably didn't hear much about her either.

Two pairs of eyes travelled back and force until Alex finally nodded, forcing a smile onto her lips.

Seconds later, the two girls were alone as Dean had left the room and Alex' eyes wandered around Mona, not understanding why she would have the nerve to show up.

"What do you want, Mona?", her voice laced with a mix of venom and annoyance.

"Relax.", Mona raised her hands as to make clear she wasn't here to cause any trouble. She followed Mona's eyes around the room and scoffed when Mona sat down in the chair in front of her. She didn't want her here. The only person she trusted enough to have visit her was Aria.

Alex looked at Mona doubtfully, still thinking about possible theories as to why she would make the effort to find out where Alex was treated to come visit her. She was certain there was more to the story. And normally, Mona Vanderwall appearing magically, was never a good sign.

"You don't approach people unless you want something from them. What is it?"

Mona raised an eyebrow, chuckling a little. "Oh, and _you_ are different?"

"I have changed." Even though Alex knew she didn't need to explain herself, she wanted to make clear that she wasn't interested in Mona's shady business anymore. She had promised Aria to work on building a normal life and she had actually enjoyed not having that constant pull inside of her to hurt somebody out of revenge or satisfaction - she certainly didn't want to return to her old ways, and she wanted to show Aria that she was right in believing that she was able to change.

Mona's lips turned into a smile, and soon a scoff followed. She shook her head slightly as to say that her answer was ridiculous. Before Alex could throw out a comeback however, Mona spoke. "You have changed? Really? Why the change of heart? Don't tell me it's because of little Miss Montgomery. I knew you had the hots for her when I was still tangled up in all your mess. This is hilarious, Drake. I remember thinking it was so odd for her to come visit you, but I thought it was to stand up for Spencer. But now – now everything makes more sense! This is awesome! You really fell in love with her, didn't you? I thought this was all a joke when I found out! The beauty and the beast. Priceless."

For a moment Alex' eyes squinted in confusion. Mona knew about Aria's visits? She knew about her feelings for her?! How was that even possible? The only possible explanation was that Hanna had told her, who had to know because of Aria. Had Aria not only told the others about her visits but also about her feelings for her? Had Aria told Hanna about the things she had confessed her? She didn't want to know the truth. She wasn't naive enough to think Aria had not explained herself after they found out about her visits. But she didn't think Aria would go as far as tell them about Alex falling in love with her – that was something private, something vulnerable. It hurt that Aria was capable of betraying her like that. She felt something inside of her crack, and then turn cold. Did she not realize how hard it had been for her to even confess these kind of feelings out loud?

Trying not to show any emotion, Alex shrugged, not meeting Mona's gaze.

"I've changed because a lot of things."

"Fine then.", the other brunette scoffed. "I only came here to be sure you're not going to bring me down again."

Alex rolled her eyes as she watched the tiny woman in front of her sending her a threatening glance. "I am done, Mona. Just go and live your life. I don't care."

"You know too much. A few months, a year maybe, and puff you are out of here. I can't have you walk around the streets of Rosewood without knowing what you're up to."

"I won't spill your little secrets, if that's what you are scared of. I have my own to protect." She was tired of talking to her, annoyed by having to remember all the reasons why she was being held in this nuthouse in the first place, annoyed that she had cracked open a wound in her heart she didn't know existed.

"Fine. But I'll warn you. You cross me again, and you will regret it. Don't play with me, Alex. I will always be one step ahead of you. I can make your life a living hell, and I won't hold back. See you next time – I have to check on my favorite psych after all."

Alex didn't move, too lost in her own thoughts. Something inside of her started itching then, wanting to come out. She fought back, not wanting to let thoughts of revenge and pain control her actions, but as she saw Mona leave for the door, she realized she was too weak to defeat her inner demons.

"Mona?", she called out then, unable to stop herself and the other woman turned around with a questioning gaze.

"Would you do me a favor?"

…

"Are you sure you have to go back?", Spencer whispered, nuzzling her nose against Aria's face as she caressed her exposed back, her fingers drawing circles on the naked skin.

"Yeah. If I don't go to this meeting tomorrow to discuss this new book idea, they might throw me out of the firm. I wish I could stay, though." She turned around to face Spencer, kissing her softly on the lips.

"I doubt they would fire someone as passionate and talented as you.", She whispered against Aria's lips. Feeling Aria draw back a little, she tightened her hold onto her and moved her lips over hers more forcefully, not wanting to end this. Spencer couldn't believe their short time of bliss was over already. She wanted nothing more than to keep Aria in this bed with her forever.

"You are quite the charmer, you know?", she heard Aria chuckle as the smaller woman had finally managed to move out of Spencer's arms. "I need to get ready, Spence." Spencer felt Aria roll away from her and she let out a disappointed sigh at the cold space beside her. She closed her eyes again, already being lulled back to sleep by the warmth of the bed, when seconds later a pair of lips pressed to her cheek from the other side of the bed. "I am taking a shower before I go; just to let you know." Aria's breath tickled Spencer's ear and her eyes shot open when she grasped on the meaning of those words. She could see Aria's almost naked form leave the room, her hips swaying a little from side to side. Without another thought, she jumped off the bed, her hurried steps following Aria and as she reached her lover, she lifted her up with almost no effort, their lips already battling for dominance as they stumbled into the bathroom.

An hour later both of them stood in front of Aria's car, a little blush still present on both of their faces as they thought about the passion they just shared. Spencer's arms were wrapped around Aria's slim frame while Aria's head laid on Spencer's chest with her arms circling around Spencer's waist. Both felt powerless. Just as they had finally found happiness in each other – finally committing to a relationship - life was forcing them apart again.

"Promise me to call me as soon as you get back.", Spencer whispered, not even trying to hide the worry in her voice.

"I promise.", Aria chuckled, leaning up to press a chaste kiss to Spencer's lips before reluctantly stepping out of the embrace.

"It's only two weeks, Spence.", Aria tried. Spencer had promised to drive back in two weeks time as it was her Mother's birthday and she wouldn't miss an opportunity to see Aria again.

"I know.", Spencer sighed. "I will miss you, though."

"Me too.", Aria smiled as she reached for Spencer's hand to give her light squeeze. "We can do this. I won't let us mess this up again. I am ready for this, for us. This – us - It's all I want."

"God, I love you.", Spencer vowed and she couldn't help but notice the flicker in Aria's eyes before the writer's head turned a little to the side. "Relax.", she whispered and kissed her girlfriend's forehead to assure everything was okay between them. "I know you're not ready to say it back. And I would never force you to. You showing me how much I mean to you is enough for me. But that doesn't mean I can stop saying the words; because Aria – you saved me, you are my _home_."

Aria met her gaze then and Spencer could see the tears welling up in her eyes. "You are my home, too, Spence." With another chaste kiss, Aria wiped away some of the falling tears, laughing a little when she realized she was crying. "I better go now, or I won't be able to leave at all."

Spencer wanted to convince her that she didn't need to go, that she could stay with her in DC, could find a job and that they could start a life away from Rosewood – but she knew Aria wasn't ready to leave their hometown behind and she respected that.

"All right.", she agreed. Kissing her one more time, before Aria climbed into the driver's seat.

"See you in two weeks. Try not to miss me too much.", Aria chuckled through the rolled down window and Spencer smiled back, starring into Aria's eyes – not believing that the last few days were real. "Drive save, Ar. Don't forget to call, okay?"

"As soon as I get back. See you soon." And with that and one more hand wave Aria was gone.

…

"Welcome back, Romeo!", Hanna greeted her as she stepped into Ali's and Emily's house later that night. She had promised them to come over and celebrate Aria's success of earning Spencer's forgiveness and starting their newfound relationship. Even though she was exhausted from driving all the way to Rosewood without so much of a break, she was glad to be surrounded by her friends and soon made herself comfortable on the couch.

"I still cannot believe you drove there by yourself without even knowing where she lived.", Ali chuckled. "Sounds like somewhere from a movie."

Aria's cheek turned into a shade of red. "It still feels like a dream. I don't remember the last time I have been this happy. She makes me brave and melt inside. She feels like _home_."

"Look at that romantic writer we got here! All crushed on her new girlfriend.", Emily joined and grinned. "I am so happy for you, Aria. So, when does Spencer come back?"

Aria's body tensed, not sure how their friends would react to Spencer's decision of trying to get a job at DC in order to stay there for a while. It had been easy not to mention the interview on the phone but Aria had promised herself not to lie to her friends again, it would only cause more problems after all.

"Spencer is staying in Washington for now." The words were forced, and Aria's wide smile had turned into a slight frown, as doubts crept into the back of her head. She wanted to make their relationship work, wanted nothing more than to grow even closer to her best friend, to experience things with her and build a life – but somehow the distance made it all so much more complicated.

Hanna was the first to react, letting out a high pitched screech as her mouth fell open in shock.

"This is unacceptable!", she protested. "She can't just turn her back on us! I thought we were all going to grow old here together once we reunited!" Her burning eyes turned to Aria. "Why didn't you stop her? You can't just start off a new relationship like that!"

"Washington is not the end of the world, Hanna. It's only 150 miles. I think you guys can do it, Ar.", Emily interfered, and Aria was thankful to her for trying to make her feel better. But then Emily's eyes shifted to Alison, confusion featuring her face. "Did you know?", she asked and even though her tone was light Aria could spot the anger behind it. Hanna's eyes moved to Alison, too, almost ready to freak out again.

"Yes.", Ali confessed and before the other two could say something, she tried to explain herself. "She had to tell me! We are running a business together! She was supposed to tell you herself, but I guess she got – distracted." Their eyes shifted to Aria again and the brunette sighed. "Sorry."

"It's okay, Ar. I just wish she would have told us. Who knows when she is coming back home."

Seeing Hanna so upset, Aria felt a tuck of guilt. Spencer had told her not say anything about her coming back for a visit in only two weeks and Aria had promised to stay quiet but she felt bad for their friends and she knew it was something that could light up the mood.

"Listen, don't tell Spencer. She wanted to surprise you, but she is visiting in only two weeks for her Mum's birthday."

The girls smiled, seemingly happy that it wouldn't be too long until they were reunited again, when Ali spoke again.

"Listen. What if, instead of her surprising us, we throw her a surprise party and show her that this is in fact her home?"

Aria wasn't sure if convincing her girlfriend to stay was the right move. She understood Spencer's wish to have time away from Rosewood and didn't want to pressure her. On the other side however, she was certain that Spencer belonged to Rosewood just like and the others and she also wished for them to start their future together, not separated by drives on the roads. Maybe it was a little selfish, but in the end Spencer could still decide for herself what route she would take.

"I am in!", Aria agreed and Emily pressed a loving kiss to Ali's cheek. "Perfect idea, babe."

Hanna clapped excitedly; Aria could already picture her coming up with a plan. "Yes! Let's convince Spencer to stay!

...

Thanks for reading! Hope you liked it! I am going to be honest, I am running a little out of ideas; so any idea or suggestion might be helpful! :)

don't forget to review! :)

Until next time, xx


	24. Rising Clouds

I am sorry for the long wait, I've been a little stressed ..But I am back now!

So, It looks like Aria and Spencer are finally happy, but we will see how long their fairy tale bliss will last?

Also, Alex isn't to amused about finding out what those two have been up to...There will be some danger ahead of us! Or will she fight her inner demons?

Hope you enjoy!

...

"Dear Ms Hastings,

We regret to inform that we - "

Letting out a frustrated groan, Spencer shut the laptop down with force, not caring if it broke something at all. She was tired of this. She was tired of failing. She had never really experienced rejection in her academic career before, and she didn't know how to handle this. It was not that Spencer didn't know what it felt like to be second best. She and Melissa had always competed about the silliest of things and it wasn't seldom that Melissa would beat her in almost every situation – in game and life – but other than her, she had always been the best in everything she did.

She had worked hard to be valedictorian in high school, had worked her ass off at university - when everybody else was drinking their brain cells away - to be at top of her graduating class and she had fought to have an internship at one of the most important law firms in Washington. She had been unstoppable then. That was until Alex had shown up again to steal Cece's game and had crashed the life she had tried so hard to rebuild. Once again, she had been chained to the town she had been so glad to leave behind, and even though moving back to Rosewood had had its perks – Aria being the most important one – she couldn't help but wonder how many sacrifices she had had to make since her first day back. Not being able to follow the path she had one planned, she had decided to work for her mother's campaign and try desperately to find out the truth about her messed up family. Now, it seemed like one of the biggest mistakes she had ever made.

Lack of work experience. A gap in her CV. The amount of time that had passed since she had actually worked or studied anything law related. It was always one of these reasons that shattered the last bits of hopes she had. If it wasn't for Aria's constant kind words, she would have given up a long, long time ago – She just didn't know how much longer she could take it.

She couldn't wait to be home soon and have a relaxed weekend with her friends and Aria. Away from all the stress and away from all those tiring thoughts of not being good enough.

She was in desperately need for some vacation. At the same time, she would have never believe that one day she would actually be glad to go back to the one town she hated most.

…

"Hey, tiny.", sounded the tired voice through the speaker and Aria rolled her eyes at her nickname.

"Why do you always call me that?", she asked with fake annoyance, hiding a smile.

"Oh, please. You love it. Now tell me how that meeting went yesterday? Any news? Did they like the new pages you sent them?"

Aria's heart warmed at Spencer's word. She missed her already. It was barely a week ago since they had been together, but the following weekend couldn't come soon enough. And even though they were miles apart, Spencer always tried to be as involved as possible in her career as a small writer and all her projects she had going on. She knew that Spencer's life was busy enough right now; having interviews any other day for different law firms while impatiently waiting for them to call or write back with a job offer - and still she had time to focus on what Aria was doing. Aria sometimes wondered how she got so lucky to date her best friend.

"They liked it, but they want me to work faster on the next ones.", Aria sighed, thinking of how stressful next week will be.

"Don't stress yourself too much, Ar. And don't let _them_ stress you. I am sure they will love whatever you give them."

"Yeah, let's hope so. So, any news on that interview two days ago? I know you loved the firm and you said the boss was quite nice."

"Still no word.", her tone shifted and Aria knew Spencer was holding back. She hated when she did that. Spencer had always been someone hard to get through, but Aria wasn't going to let it go this time.

"What it is?", she tried, she didn't like it when Spencer felt so out of reach.

"I got rejected by two other firms, yesterday. Again. I am tired of failing.", her voice was so small Aria almost didn't hear it. But when she did, her heart broke for her girlfriend.

"Babe.", she sighed. "I am so sorry. I don't understand – how can they not hire you? You have the best grades of your class!"

"It's not enough. They are looking for someone with practical knowledge, and the last year all of us have been in Rosewood, and yeah I've been helping out my mum but I didn't really invest time in my career, so..."

"It was not your fault!", Aria practically ranted. And for a moment she thought Alex was to blame. It was because of her that Spencer had to stay in Rosewood and couldn't continue to look for a job in DC. She wanted to hate Alex, she did - but she couldn't. And if she was honest with herself, she actually missed her – as a friend. But it was still a hard topic to address to Spencer, and she didn't feel like either of them nor their relationship were ready for Aria to go to visit her again.

"It's fine. I just wish you were here with me." It was not often that Spencer showed Aria her vulnerable side, but she loved the moments when she did. It was then that Aria felt closest to her, even though they were miles apart.

"I wish that, too. I can't wait for next week." And she really couldn't. She felt her heart warm at the thought of being in the tall girl's arms again.

"Me too." There was some rustling in the background before Spencer spoke again. "Listen, I have to go. I think my chicken ready and I am starving."

Aria chuckled. "Okay. I will text you later then. Just - Spencer. Don't give up just yet, okay? You are amazing at what you do. I know you, Spence. You are one of the most hard working and smart people I know. And I know if they would take their time to get to know you, they would see what a beautiful soul you are. Someone will see that. And when they do, they won't let you go." She had promised Hanna to convince Spencer to stay in Rosewood, but she couldn't help but try to cheer her up. There was a pause and for a moment she thought Spencer had hung up, when she heard her sigh over the phone.

"Spence -", Aria tried again and she heard some deep breathing.

"Thank you, Ar. For saying that. I miss you."

"I mean it. You are kind, selfless, loyal, intelligent - you fight for what you think is right and you always try to see the good in people even if you doubt them at first. It's just the kind of person you are, how you fight for justice. It's one of those hundred reasons that made me fall for you in the first place. You can't give up on yourself, okay? I know I won't. You deserve this, you worked so hard for this - they are stupid for not seeing the amazing person you are. You are perfect for this job."

There was another pause then, and Aria thought she had said something wrong. It was then when she heard a sniff and she felt bad.

"Did I say something wrong? Spencer, I am sorry if -"

"No!", the lawyer interrupted firmly. "You said it just right.", she chuckled through what sounded like new tears. "I don't know what I would do without you. You are incredible."

Aria blushed deeply, happy that she could make her girlfriend smile. "You could do it. I know you could. But I am so glad I am here to help you out, to cheer you on."

"You know what would really help me out right now?" The older girl asked flirtatiously through the phone.

Aria laughed and decided to play along. "I have no idea. Tell me."

"You, here with me. I like sleeping next to you. You make everything easier."

Aria's smile grew, not having expected an answer this sweet. She felt the warmth of Spencer's words surround her. "That would be nice. I wish I was there, too. You make me brave, Spence. You are my best friend, my safe haven. I miss you."

"I miss you too, babe. God. The things I would do to you if I was there right now."

Aria blushed, feeling heat rushing through her body, before she suddenly started laughing.

"Perfect.", came the fake bitter voice of her girlfriend. "I am trying to turn you on, and all you do is laugh at me.", she pouted and Aria chuckled.

"I am sorry." She let out between giggles. "I am really sorry to have interrupted your adorable attempt on phone sex, but I just remembered your chicken!"

"Shit!", she heard Spencer yell and she heard some more rustling and suddenly coughing, too.

"Are you okay?", she asked through the speaker, a little worried that Spencer burnt down her whole kitchen.

"Well, it looks like I won't have chicken today, after all.", she grunted and Aria started to laugh again. As determined and strict as Spencer was with herself and work sometimes, she was such a dork, too.

"I better let you clean up that mess you made then."

"You are so funny." Aria could picture Spencer rolling her eyes.

"All right, I will text you later, beautiful."

"Okay, have fun cleaning up. And don't be too upset, okay? I will still want you, if you are broke. Cross my heart."

"I don't know if that was you mocking me, but because you just saved my day, you are forgiven for now. Speak to you later, little big one."

…

"Anything?", she asked curiously, eyeing the girl that sat in front of her on the same wooden chair that had been occupied by a certain small brunette for so many times a while ago. Now, it felt like ages go. Alex knew Aria was probably conflicted because of Spencer, but she couldn't help that something else was going on. After all, she had promised to help her through this. And as the weeks passed, she felt like slipping further and further away from her.

"You won't like it.", replied the other woman and Alex could almost see the curves of her lips moving upwards.

"Mona.", she warned. She didn't want to play games. That is not what those meetings were about. She knew asking Mona for a favor wasn't going to be the best idea, but it was the only chance she had and she wasn't about to destroy it. She also knew that getting something from Mona would mean she would have to give her something else in return. These things were never free, but she certainly wasn't about to let her enjoy this too much.

"She is seeing your sister." Her tone was casual, but the twinkle in her eyes told Alex that Mona was just waiting for her to lash out. She didn't quite understand though. She let out a frustrated groan. Was this Mona's way of annoying her? She knew Aria was probably hanging out with Spencer a lot. She certainly didn't need for Mona to come all the way to Philadelphia just to tell her that.

"They are friends, Mona. Of course, they are going to hang out. I want to know if you found out a reason why she is not visiting. Has she talked to anyone about me?"

She grew impatient, waiting for answers.

"You don't seem to understand. Aria and Spencer are not just hanging out. More like they are too busy to talk because they are doing other kind of things.", Mona let out a laugh then and Alex' suddenly realized what she was implying.

"Don't test me, Mona. I am done playing these games with you. I didn't ask you to come up with some lie.", she accused her with confidence. "You can go now. And don't come back" She shouldn't have asked her to spy on Aria. She knew Mona would just come up with some sort of lie just to mess with her head and she hated her for that.

However, Mona didn't move. She crossed her arms and started to laugh. "I knew you would say." She shook her head slightly and turned around to grab her bag, sliding her left hand inside and fumbling around, looking for something inside.

Alex grew nervous and looked anywhere but Mona. She hated how Mona had so much control over her feelings. She didn't want to feel that way. Threatened. Nervous. She knew Mona was bluffing so why did she let her turn into the weak victim?

She finally dared to look Mona in the eye again, her gaze moving towards the object she had just pulled out of her bag. Looking closer, she suddenly felt her breath hitch. Then, time stopped. If she were to ask later what she was feeling at this particularly moment of Mona showing her those pictures the only honest answer would be that she didn't know. Her mind felt blank and she lost all control over her body. She was rooted to the spot. It was almost like she was looking at the image before her through a pair of different eyes, not being able to look away, but not being able to react in any other way either. There she was, the one person who she trusted the most, the one person who made her believe she could switch sides and become one of the good, the one person who had genuinely cared for her - or so she thought. Aria had become so much more than a crush,than a shoulder to lean on, she had become the woman of her dreams. And now here she was, nestling her slim and small frame into an intimate embrace with someone that wasn't her. It hurt. And still, Alex thought she had never seen Aria look more full of life - more beautiful - than in that exact picture. Of course, all thoughts of beauty left her mind the second she noticed whose arms she was nestled in, whose left arm held her torso protectively as not to break her, whose lips were buried in her neck making Aria tilt her head back in pleasure, whose right hand was crawled around her shoulder in desperation and need. She felt sick watching the two lovers being in their own world. She felt betrayed. She couldn't understand what was happening. All she could do was stare at the couple and she felt the sudden urge to strangle the taller woman for stealing her muse. Her sister had no right to take the last thing she had left, the last person that believed in her. She felt anger boil inside her body, fuming with emotions she didn't know she could feel. Before, she had wanted Spencer to forgive her for destroying her and her friends' lives, had wanted for them to finally leave the past behind and move on to become family - Now, all she wanted was to make her suffer; and make her feel like she was feeling right now: Empty, Broken, Dead.

In the background, she could vaguely hear Mona shouting at her to calm down, but Alex couldn't control her heart from racing, her body from shaking. Her hands tore the picture in half and it was then that she felt like she was slipping into darkness, away from the only light that was left inside her.

...

There you go :) Hope you liked the chapter!

So, Alex knows Sparia is real! And by the looks of it nothing good will come out of it.. Will she return to her old ways? Or will her love for Aria stop her from being evil from her? Can someone get through her? We will have to wait..

For now. Thank you so much for reading and please leave a review to let me know what you think!

Side Note: I am so glad there are more Sparia out there now! I feel like recently more people start to write about them and it makes me so happy!

Until next time, much love!


	25. Worries and Fears

Hey again! Thank you all for reviewing and still reading my story! I can't believe it's over 80.000 words already. That is just crazy! I hope you are still with me! :) You are all probably surprised to see me update again this fast: But it's true! And it's a longer one too! Lucky you haha.. I had the Chapter already played out in my head so it was just about putting the whole thing into words, and here you have it. You will be warned: There will be some drama ahead of us. Enjoy!

...

"Bloody hell. What are you doing here? I told you not to come back.", her voice was cold, indifferent, and hearing the other girl chuckle slightly, only made it worse.

"I wanted to check on you. You put on some kind of a show the last time I visited you here."

"I am surprised Dean let you in. He can be very protective and he normally can spot a bitch from a small distance. What do you want, Mona?"

She wasn't in the mood to have to deal with this. The last days had been horrible for her. She couldn't even blink without thinking of Aria and her twin sister making out or confessing their love to one another. It made her sick to think about those images. She wasn't even sure anymore if she wanted Aria to come back to visit her or if she ever wanted to see her again. She just felt so betrayed, even though Aria never really said she liked her romantically and had denied it a few times, she did give her hopes with her and she definitely didn't refuse her direct flirting. And Alex knew Aria had felt something from the kiss she initiated. No one was an actor who performed that convincing. However it wasn't just about her feelings towards Aria. Seeing her with Spencer, made her realize how Spencer always seemed to beat her – in everything. She was tired of being second best, tired of letting people into her heart again, when - the second she let those feelings stay - somebody hurt her again.

"I know you are angry, Alex. I can understand how furious you are at Aria, how much hate you must have for your spoiled twin sister. But we both know you are stuck in here and can't do anything. That's why I came to help you with that. You don't even have to pay me back. You can look at it as an apology for freaking you out in a way that you almost had a heart attack the last time I was here."

Alex sighed, too tired to let Mona drag her into another mess. She had sworn to herself that she was done playing games with other people's lives, and even though something inside of her screamed to let Mona explain what she was planning, she felt strong enough to refuse.

"I don't want your help. You can go now."

Mona shifted closer. "See. I think you do want my help. Don't you think Spencer deserves some kind of revenge? I don't mean for you to almost kill her off again to get her out of the picture." She chuckled, before going on. "I just think she needs a little reminder that she is not the most perfect human being on this planet. A little something that makes her realize that she can't have everything she wants just because she is a Hastings."

Alex thought about it. She didn't know if she could trust Mona; She didn't know if it was a good idea to play with other people's lives again – But then again – She didn't have anything to lose. Spencer wasn't talking to her anyway, and the only person that really mattered had abandoned her because of her twin sister. Maybe it wasn't such a bad idea after all to play some tricks.

"I don't want somebody to get hurt. Do you hear me? No one gets hurt."

Mona laughed loudly, before rolling her eyes. "Wow. That coming out of your mouth, sounds pretty convincing."

"I am serious, Mona. Aria will never forgive me if something happens to Spencer."

"Don't worry, I won't touch a hair on her head. I will just mess with her mind a little bit."

Alex nodded, thinking about what Mona had said, about how maybe she could trick Spencer into showing Aria that deep down she just didn't deserve a girl like her. That Spencer and Aria just weren't meant to be. She would just show Spencer that Aria was just not hers to keep, and technically it was the truth. They didn't fit. Spencer was too sarcastic, too driven and too strict to be with someone as careless and emotional as Aria. It wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"Tell me your plan."

…

"I can't believe you are coming home!", Aria squealed into the phone. She felt like smiling the whole time and she didn't even try to hide her excitement. She couldn't wait for Spencer to be in Rosewood again and have some quality time with her and their friends.

"I know, I missed you like crazy these last two weeks. You are in for a long weekend, Miss Montgomery! I hope you got some sleep last night, because we sure will be awake quite some time tonight." Aria blushed deeply, thinking of how to make Spencer's stay extra special. She had already bought some candles and some bath salts to help Spencer relax a little after the last couple of weeks.

"When are you setting off?" Aria had promised Hanna to let her organize a small "Welcome Back" party. Technically, Spencer wasn't even gone a whole month, but Hanna had insisted that it would be the first step of their mission to convince Spencer to stay in their small town and Aria just couldn't say no. However, them being too spontaneous about things, they still had a lot to organize.

"Well, as soon as I can. Probably in an hour. I think I won't be later than half two, three maybe."

Aria frowned slightly. This was certainly too early to organize everything, but she had an idea on how to give Hanna some extra time to prepare the surprise.

"How about we meet just outside Rosewood at that Italian place you like so much then? We could go and have some lunch. I know you will probably be hungry and that way I can have you to myself before the others will come over to your place to scream at you for disappearing like that."

That way, Hanna, Emily and Alison had enough time to set up the house, to get everybody in who was invited and to prepare the food. Even though it was technically Hanna's idea, she wanted everything to be perfect. Spencer deserved to know how many people loved her and she deserved to realize how special she really was. Especially in such a difficult time, when she was so desperately trying to succeed it was important to Aria that Spencer knew she wasn't alone in this and that she and their closest friends and family were there for her.

She heard Spencer chuckle. "I would like that. Our first official date."

Aria smiled at her words, not having thought about it in that way. But it was true. It was their first official date as a couple, and Aria couldn't be happier. Aria would be lying if she wasn't nervous, and she didn't know how being with Spencer in public would feel like, but she was ready to find out. She let that thought linger for a moment before answering softly. "Yeah, that's pretty perfect. You can text me half an hour before you arrive and I will set off."

"Sounds awesome. I can't wait. See you soon, Ar."

"Neither can I. See you soon, Babe."

"Aria?", she heard Spencer call out before she was about to hang up.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

Aria smiled and she heard the phone click then. She knew Spencer had hung up so Aria wouldn't feel bad for not saying it back, but she loved Spencer for being so patient and wonderful about it. Aria knew she was probably falling deeper every second and that it wasn't so much about the feelings and emotions she was feeling for her taller friend, but the confidence and courage to say those words out loud, to think about what they meant, and to confess to herself and to Spencer how she felt. She couldn't wait to be ready to announce it not only to Spencer, but to the whole world.

…

Arriving at the small restaurant, Spencer parked her car right outside and noticed that Aria's car was still not there. She had texted her about half an hour ago that she was close to Rosewood and Aria had replied that she was setting off then, so she wondered why she would take so long if it was just a ten-minute drive. She didn't think much of it and decided to go inside to not wait in the car and have some coffee while waiting for Aria. She was nervous to see her again. She had missed her terribly and she couldn't help but take her in her arms and overwhelm her with kisses.

Half an hour later, there was still no Aria in sight, so she grabbed her phone to see what was taking her so long. When no one picked up after the fifth ring, she got confused. It wasn't like Aria to not show up and to not pick up her phone. She would have sent a text even though it she would be only ten minutes late. She tried not to worry as she stirred her coffee, her eyes fixed on the clock at the restaurant's wall in front of her. Every second that passed felt like an eternity and Spencer's left foot began to tap on the floor in a fast rhythm as she tried to calm herself down.

Drinking the last bit of her coffee, having left already three messages, Spencer noticed it was already an hour since Aria was supposed to show up. While paying for her coffee she accidently let some change fall to the floor because of her shaky hands and she took a deep breath as she finally sat down in the car a few minutes later. She knew Aria had probably a good explanation as to not show up and part of her wanted to be angry at her for standing her up like that, but another part of her brain, the part that couldn't help but remember the days of someone threatening her and her friends constantly, was filled with worry. It wasn't an easy baggage that she and the other four carried around constantly. The rational part of her knew it was impossible, though. Because AD was locked up in a nutshouse, and the rest of her team was buried under ground, but still - she couldn't help but fear the unknown.

It took her less than 8 minutes to arrive at Aria's house. On the way home, she began to think that something might have happened to Aria's phone and maybe that's why she wasn't calling her back. It didn't necessary explain her not showing up, but knowing Aria she probably was too concerned about her technical device, that she forgot the time.

Knocking loudly, she felt blood rush through her body as her heart beat so fast she could basically feel the vibration through her chest. The door opened and she was about to scream at Aria for making her worry so much, when Hanna's arms wrapped around her torso and the blond girl hugged her tightly. "Spencer!", she shouted and was dragged inside. She was too confused to notice what was going on but as she walked into the living room and saw a bunch of people standing in front of her, something clicked.

"Surprise!", the group of friends chanted and Spencer felt her body calm down, as she looked around the room, her eyes searching the little monster that had probably organized everything. Despite feeling furious at Aria for letting her go through this phase of going crazy, she couldn't help but smile at all the people that had welcomed her back even though she wasn't even gone that long.

"Welcome back!" Emily and Alison stepped forward and hugged her close, as Alison stayed by her side with an arm around her side. "I missed my cousin."

She smiled at her friends when her mind drifted back to Aria. "So, where is she, huh?" She didn't want to sound mad, but she was. Still, she wanted nothing more than to hold her even though she probably didn't deserve it.

"Who?", Emily asked confused and Spencer rolled her eyes.

"Don't tell me she is hiding from me. C'mon Aria. Where are you?", she yelled through the room as some of the other guests looked at her a little weird.

Hanna was the first whose eyes began to widen. "Spence, Aria is not here yet. I thought she was parking the car or something or still on her way since you both drove separately to that Italian place."

Spencer couldn't help but squint her eyes, not really wanting to understand what Hanna was implying. Her worries surfaced again and she tried to calm her nerves. There had to be some explanation. She was tired of surprises, tired of jokes.

"Hanna, don't try and mock me. Just tell me where she is. I promise not to get angry at her for throwing this surprise party. Just her out of her hiding place so I can see her."

Emily turned towards her then, a nervous expression on her mind and before Spencer could even protest she was dragged into the kitchen, away from the starring eyes. Alison and Hanna followed suit, and when the girls where inside Alison quickly shut the door.

"Spencer, I swear she is not here. She was supposed to go meet you at the restaurant. We were organizing the house when you texted her to let her know you would be there soon, so she set off."

Spencer tried to avoid the other's worried glances as she starred at the wall in front of her, different scenarios rushing through her mind, one more terrifying than the other one.

"Please tell me you are not messing with my head, Emily. Because right now I am on the edge of really freaking out. Please tell me she is here somewhere. My brain can't stop from spinning and I am starting to really, really worry right now."

Her breaths were fast, and Hanna put a comforting hand on her arm. "Look Spence, I am sure there is some sort of explanation. There has to be. Have you tried to call her?"

"Yes!", she let out frustrated, still not fully believing what was happening.

Alison sighed as she pulled out her phone. "I will try again."

The four friends waited impatiently, but after a soft click the only thing that was heard was Aria's soft but recorded voice as it told them to leave a message on her answering machine if it was important.

"Please tell me this is not happening.", Spencer breathed, thinking about what she could do.

"Maybe we shouldn't freak out just now.", Hanna voiced. "Maybe she just had something to do."

"I doubt that. This was way too important to her to do something else.", Emily argued.

"Maybe there was an accident." Spencer turned her head towards Alison. It wasn't that she hadn't thought about such a possibility before but hearing somebody else voice her worries out loud made it more real. Aria was missing. And Spencer didn't know what to do.

"I think they would have called or rang the house by now, in case her family was home to go see her. But l am still calling the local hospital to be sure.", Emily said as she already pulled out her phone. And even though she was scared out of her mind, Spencer was glad to have her friends with her to keep a tough face and tried to figure out the situation.

The air tensed however, when the hospital informed them that there was no Aria Montgomery there and that there was no car accident recorded around Rosewood in the last few hours. Having heard those news, Emily decided to let everybody know that the party was over because Aria hadn't been able to come and Spencer wasn't in the mood to celebrate as she was too tired after the journey. The guests left, confused, but at least they were civil enough to not question the real reasons behind being thrown out. Hanna had even managed to get Caleb out of the house. She had explained to them that she didn't want him to worry too much. Ever since, he had helped Aria with her mission to rescue Spencer he had grown a soft spot for her, and Hanna knew he was probably only going to make Spencer even more worried.

Sitting on the couch, the girls stayed silent for long moment, and Spencer guessed they were starting to feel as hopeless as she was and that this was the moment they really started to worry.

"Oh my god." It was Hanna's shocked voice that cut through the silence. Spencer noticed how her friend's face turned pale and her eyes closed briefly before starring into Spencer's eyes worriedly. Not needing to be told, she continued with her shocked realizations.

"Alex." It was one word, one simple name, but it was all it took to make Spencer jump from her seat on the couch.

"That whore! I swear to god if she even touched her I am going to kill her the minute I find her!"

She was already halfway towards the door, when Emily and Alison dragged her back inside, Alison trying to make Spencer stop from storming off.

"Spencer, calm down. If Alex has really something to deal with Aria's disappearance we can't just act on impulse. That woman is dangerous. And I am not going to have you walk into another trap of hers!"

"Aria is missing! And I bet Hanna is right and Alex has something to do with it! So I am sure as hell not going to sit here and do nothing when my girlfriend might be terrified to death right now! I am going to Philly and give that whore a piece of mind! Right now. And I swear I will not leave that bitch until I get some answers!"

"Okay. Just breathe for a second, okay? Alex is locked up in her room and there is no way for her to escape. That facility is not like Radley. Plus, we don't even know if Aria is really missing." Emily tried and her gaze shifted to Hanna. "Hanna, can you call Caleb and see if he can locate Aria's car?"

Hanna nodded, phone already in hand, and Spencer gave up the struggle against the other two girls. She slumped tiredly onto the floor, waiting for Caleb to get some information.

"He has a location!", Hanna screamed after some mumbled explanations and questions and Spencer snatched the phone out of Hanna's hand, pressing the speaker button.

"Where is the car?", she demanded, not even caring how rushed her voice was.

"It tells me it's on some road, but it's not moving.", his tone was soft, but Spencer could spot the worry in his voice.

"Shit. Maybe she really had an accident after all!", Hanna yelled and even though Spencer was never really religious she prayed that Aria was safe.

"I need to go there. It's still light outside. I have to see if she is there!"

"I have an idea." It was Emily who spoke again, and Spencer wondered when she became the voice of reason.

"Caleb, you are going to come here and pick Spencer up and you're driving to that location as soon as possible. And me and Hanna – we are going on a trip to Philly to- "

"No way, Emily! You are not going to see that crazy bitch! She is insane and reckless, I am not letting you – "

"Like I said before, she is locked up and under surveillance. We will be fine, Ali." As to prove a point she kissed her on the cheek softly.

"I agree with Alison, if someone should talk to her, it should be me!", argued Spencer but Hanna shook her head.

"No! Emily is right. This is how it will work. You need to go to Aria's car. Spencer, if something did happen to her and she is still there, maybe even hurt you're going to regret no going to look for her and maybe – "

"Enough!", interrupted Spencer, not wanting to let thoughts so dark slip into her mind. She reluctantly agreed to the plan, hoping it wouldn't be long until she had Aria back in her arms. But right at that moment, she couldn't do anything else than wait for Caleb to pick her up.

"Call us if you find her by the car.", Hanna told Spencer, wrapping her arms tightly around her in a hug. "I promise you everything will be okay." She added in a whisper and Spencer wished she could believe her.

"All right, Hanna, let's go. Visiting hours will be almost over if we get there. Spencer, call us if you find her. Maybe there is an explanation and everything will be solved sooner than we think."

"Wait!", Alison interrupted. "What about me?"

"You are going to stay here in case Aria comes back home." Emily pressed a loving kiss to her lips and Spencer couldn't help but wish Aria was here so she could kiss her too.

Emily then moved to stand in front of her to take one of her shaking hands in hers. "We will find her, Spence. Trust me. We will find her." With one last squeeze to her hands Emily and Hanna rushed outside the door. As Spencer starred towards the closed wooden door, she began to realize what was happening. Aria had never showed up at their meeting place. She had been missing for more than three hours by now. They couldn't reach her on the phone, and there was no accident recorded in the town's database. Something was seriously wrong. Aria would have called if something had happened, she would have come home, she would have find a way to tell Spencer that she was okay as she knew she was waiting for her to come meet her. It was that realization that broke the walls she had managed to built up earlier and she fell to the floor in sobs. The crying only got worse as she felt Alison wrap her arms around her in a tight hug, whispering words of hope into her ear.

...

TBC - of course haha

So what did you think? Please let me know in the reviews :) Also, what do you think happened to Aria; were you surprised something would happen? I am curious to find out what you think!

Until next time xx


	26. Looking for answers

Happy new year you all! I hope you had a great time with all your loved ones and you started this year with some good new year's resolutions! Here is mine: To write more! So last chapter kind of ended with Aria being missing? Who could be behind it? Alex? Maybe there is more to the story … Anyway: Enjoy the first chapter of Aftermaths in 2018!

...

Hearing the loud knocking on her door, Alex put the book she was reading aside and smiled when she saw Dean enter the room.

"Alex, you have visitors. They say they are Spencer's friends and want to talk to you. I can send them away if you are not ready."

Her forehead wrinkled in confusion. "Is Aria with them?", she asked but Dean shook his head. However, she was curious enough to know the reasons for this strange visit.

"Let them in. I will call you if I need to."

"All right."

A few minutes after she saw Hanna and Emily enter the room. They smiled at her for a second but when Dean left, Emily pushed the door close, turning around to glare at Alex.

"Where the hell is she?!", Hanna yelled at her and Emily put a hand on her arm to stop her from lashing out.

"Calm down, Hanna. Or she will kick us out again!", Alex heard Emily scold in a whisper.

"Who are you talking about?", she asked, a little confused as to what was going on.

"Don't you dare mock me! You took Aria and now you are going to tell us where she is or I swear - " She was already halfway to the bed, when Emily held her back. "Hanna, stop!"

Alex's mind raced. "Aria is missing?" She asked and couldn't help but feel worried. It didn't matter that she was still furious and felt betrayed – she just hoped Aria was okay.

"That's enough!", it was now Emily's turn to shout at her. "Listen, we know about your crazy obsession with her! No point in pretending, Alex. What did you do to her?"

If it wasn't for the situation she might have actually found it funny how the two women burned with anger, but she still couldn't shake off the concern she felt for the tiny woman she had grown to love so much.

"How long has she been missing?", she asked again, her words laced with fear.

The confused look on Emily's features showed her that maybe they started to understand that this time she wasn't the one playing the game.

"Four hours, maybe five. She was supposed to meet Spencer at a restaurant but she never showed up.", the swimmer answered and Alex squinted her eyes.

"That's not that long. Have you called her? Tracked her car?", the ideas were racing inside her brain, trying to find an answer.

"Of course we have! You are still trying to play us, huh? Listen, Alex - "

"I have nothing to do with this!", she finally yelled, needing to put this war between them to rest so they could focus on the real issue – Aria was missing.

Hanna still looked at her with disbelief, so Alex sighed and started to explain.

"Look, I know you hate me for what I did to you. And I know you don't believe me when I say I am sorry I hurt you. I never wanted it to escalate this way. And I really don't care if you forgive me or not, I don't. But I swear I would never do anything to hurt Aria. She is the only person who has ever cared about me. She is the reason why I am still here, trying to get better, to prove her I am worth being her friend. I love her."

She saw Emily and Hanna sharing a nervous look. That's when she knew they still didn't believe her. Alex's brain still couldn't stop from working, looking for hints, searching for possibilities – when suddenly something popped up in her head. She turned to Aria's friends.

"I might have an idea where she is. But if I tell you, you have to promise me to let me finish. And you have to promise me to never tell Aria about it. Or Spencer."

Hanna opened her mouth, and Alex was sure she would protest but once again Emily stepped in and spoke first. "Deal."

"What? No! We can't just make promises like that! What if something happens to Spencer, too?"

Alex rolled her eyes. "I am not really able to do a lot, am I? I just don't want them to know about this as it might prolong my treatment because – It doesn't matter. I just don't need people to think I am not getting better."

"Just say what you wanted to say Alex. If it's true and you care about Aria, you owe it to her."

Emily was right in a way, she did care about Aria and now that she knew she was missing she had to collaborate with them so she could stay informed. If she wanted to or not.

"A few weeks back, Mona came by."

"Mona?", Hanna's eyes widened in surprise and Alex almost fell sorry for the betray she spotted in her eyes.

"She wanted to make sure I would leave her alone. I told her not to worry, because I was done playing the game. But then she started provoking me, saying it was ridiculous how I fell in love with Aria. And when she was about to leave, I couldn't help but ask." She hung her head, almost ashamed that she had failed Aria and went behind her back, even if it was just spying on her, she knew it was wrong.

"What did you ask her?", Emily had moved to sit on the floor and Hanna had taken the chair.

Alex sighed, knowing she had to come clean, hoping those girls would stick to their promise not to tell Aria. "I asked Mona if she could find out why Aria was ignoring me."

"You forced Mona to spy on Aria? And you say you have changed!", exclaimed Hanna and it wasn't helping how Alex felt.

"I didn't force her! She just agreed! Mona is not the victim here! Anyway, I know it was wrong. I shouldn't have asked. God, just please – don't tell her. She would hate me and I can't – I can't handle that. She is the only one I have left."

Hanna rolled her eyes, but Emily's features softened. Maybe she was thinking about Ali's behavior so long ago and she could actually understand where Alex was coming from.

"We promised. Go on. We are losing time."

Alex nodded. "Right. So Mona came back with news. And that's when I found out." Her jaw clenched subconsciously and she tried not to show her real emotions. "She told me about Aria and Spencer. That they were dating. I was losing it. I felt betrayed and hurt. And then Mona made this proposition."

The other two looked intently at her, wanting her to continue and Alex was glad she wasn't being yelled at again.

"She said she could fix it. She said she could make Spencer realize that she couldn't be best at everything. I told her that I didn't want anyone to get hurt! I told her to not touch Aria! I just wanted - "

"Revenge! You wanted revenge! You wanted to hurt Spencer for dating Aria!", it was Hanna again but somehow this time her words hurt more than before. She sighed, wanting to explain, but Hanna didn't stop.

"You are pathetic! Don't you understand that Aria does not want you? She loves Spencer and she would do anything for her. And even though she did visit you I am sure it was not because she took a like on you but because she wanted to be sure you stayed away from her girlfriend! You. are. pathetic! And on top of everything you are telling us this lie about Mona, too! I don't believe you! You wanted to hurt Spencer, so you kidnaped Aria and now you are telling us where the hell you are hiding her!"

Alex closed her eyes, trying not to let those words get to her. She tried to concentrate on breathing normally, not wanting to slip into yet another panic attack, and not wanting them to know how broken she was inside. She wondered if Hanna's words were true and if Aria had ever genuinely cared for her. She didn't know if she could handle it if she didn't.

"I am not lying about Mona, Hanna." Her voice was calm, and she felt a tear make its way down her cheek. "I don't know if she has Aria or not, but I am not lying about her planning something. Maybe we should call her. Maybe _you_ should call her."

Hanna held a hand to her forehead. "Maybe that is not a bad idea." Her eyes drifted to Emily then, clearly wanting a second opinion.

"Let me call Spencer and Ali first. Maybe they have found Aria by now. Are you okay to stay here, alone?"

Hanna looked at her then, as if to reflect on the idea, but ultimately she nodded, her eyes staying on Alex. Emily stood up then, shooting Alex a glaring look before moving to the door. "Don't you dare hurt Hanna." And the door clicked closed.

Both of them stayed silent, until Hanna spoke. "Was it really Mona's idea to sabotage Spencer and Aria's relationship?"

Alex couldn't help but look at her with sympathy despite all the horrible things the blonde had thrown at her. "I am sorry you found out this way, Hanna. I know she is your friend."

"Yeah, whatever. Let's focus on finding Aria."

"Okay.", Alex replied in a whisper.

Hanna sighed. "I hope she is okay."

Alex closed her eyes, envisioning Aria's smile and trying not to let fear overtake her emotions.

"Me too."

…

"Can't you drive any faster?", Spencer urged as they were driving to the location where Caleb had located Aria's car.

"I am driving as fast as I can, Spencer. I know you are worried and so am I, but it won't do any good having us in an accident, so please, just let me drive."

Spencer sighed, silently agreeing and moving her head to rest against the window. She couldn't help but let a lonely tear fall at the thought of the possibility that something horrible happened to her girlfriend. As the minutes passed and she still hadn't heard from her, she wished she had neglected her idea to meet her out of Rosewood. Back then, when they were still teenagers hiding from A they were so much more careful but the years of surviving A's tortures somehow made them lose that sense of fear. And after Alex had been caught they had slipped back into the state of normal, where they thought they didn't have to fear every step they took.

She was lost in her thoughts when suddenly the car stopped and a second later she spotted Aria's car right in front of them. Ignoring Caleb's protests to just go over there, she jumped out of the car, running towards the other vehicle. As it was already dark, she flipped on her phone's flashlight and looked inside. She closed her eyes when she disappointingly realized that the car was empty. Holding back new tears, she tried to keep a cool mind. Caleb joined her then and put a comforting hand on her shoulder, squeezing it softly. "I am sorry, Spence. Let's look for something that can help us find her okay?" Spencer nodded briefly, but she couldn't help but remain in her position, starring at the empty car. She observed Caleb opening the car looking for clues that could tell them what happened and why Aria had stopped at the side of the road.

"This is so weird. It looks like she wanted to stop here. There are no skid marks, she put on the hand brake, the headlights are shut and the key missing. The only thing weird is that the car is open. That means she most likely did not leave her car on purpose. Someone must have made her stop the car and then - "

"And then taken her? Is that what you are saying?", Spencer's eyes brimmed with tears and she shook her head. "How is this happening again?"

Caleb closed his own eyes and sighed. "I don't know. I really don't. But I swear to you, we will find her, okay? I promise you."

He was about to step closer to Spencer to comfort her, when he suddenly felt something beneath his shoe. He bend down to pick it up, raising his eyebrows at the sight of a phone.

"That's Aria's phone!", Spencer exclaimed, snatching it away and looking at the broken screen. She was about to put it in her pocket when Caleb took it from her. He clicked on one of the buttons to light it up. His eyes widened and Spencer looked at him questioning.

"What?"

"Shit!", he yelled, giving the phone back to Spencer and he ran back to his car. "Do not touch the phone, Spencer!"

She looked at the phone again, confused as to what Caleb had seen and why he was looking for something in his car. It didn't take long though for Caleb to return with what looked like a phone charger. Plugging it into the phone, Caleb sighed with relief.

Still not understanding Spencer gave him a baffled look. "What are you doing?"

"Look." He showed her the phone, pointing to the right corner of the phone where Spencer could spot a blinking red microphone. "It's recording! The phone is recording!"

Spencer's eyes widened, slowly realizing what that meant.

"Do you know Aria's code?" And before Caleb could finish his sentence, Spencer had unlocked Aria's phone, silently thanking Aria for not changing it. She quickly saved the recording and handled the phone back to Caleb.

"I don't know if I want to know.", her voice trembled and a millions thoughts swam in her mind as to what could have happened.

"We need to find her Spencer, focus. This is big. This could lead us to the person who has Aria." Caleb tried to reasons with her. She nodded then, wiping away new tears that had fallen from her red eyes.

"Okay. Play it.", she said, waiting for what was to come, and silently praying that whatever it was they found on that recording it meant that there was a possibility of finding Aria and having her back. She couldn't help but blame herself for what was happening. Maybe, if she had never left Rosewood in the first place, if she had stayed, she could have protected her, maybe she could have prevented this from happening. She swore to herself that _when_ she found Aria she would never leave her alone again. Suddenly, Washington didn't matter anymore, all that mattered was _her_.

...

There you have it. First chapter of 2018. I know, I know. It's yet another cliffhanger. But I am curious about who do you think is behind it? Do you think it's really Mona?

Please leave a review and tell me what you think. I am also debating how long this story should continue so feedback means a lot to me. I know there are a lot of secret readers out there, but it is always nice to know that people like the writing and that people want me to continue.

Until next time!


	27. Sometimes the Villains win

**_Surprise! So I was_** ** _rewatching Pll today, because tomorrow I will start my routine life again and I wanted to have a break. Also, did you see their Cast reunion? Where was Lucy Hale though? I think she distanced herself from the cast a little because of her new show, but I think Spencer and Aria were always closer than Troian and Lucy, so that's okay._**

 ** _Anyway, I got inspired by Season 4 a little bit, so this what I came up with. I had Aria's kidnapper already in mind before that but it gave me the energy to write this.._**

 ** _I do really hope a few more of you would say hello in the reviews! Sometimes I feel like I am writing this story for two or three people, but I see the views and that's why I still want to thank you all :)_**

 ** _Here we go..._**

 ** _..._**

 _5 hours earlier._

 _Nodding along to the music that was playing from the radio, Aria smiled at the mere thought of seeing Spencer again. She missed her girlfriend like crazy and couldn't wait to see her again. Even though, they had realistically only spent one full day together as a couple, she felt like being with her was the most normal thing in the world. She was about to speed up a little at the thought, when she suddenly saw a car passing her only to turn into her line again. The car slowed down then, forcing Aria to slow down herself. She couldn't even pass it as there was too much traffic coming from the other line. That's when she noticed the license plate. She frowned when she noticed it was in fact Ezra's. The car's lights suddenly blinked up, as the car was slowing down even more, making her almost crash into it. She heard the car behind her honk. That's when Ezra's car came to a sudden stop, driving onto the side line. Furious with the situation and not thinking about it twice, Aria drifted into the side line as well and parked her car right behind Ezra's._

" _What the hell, Ezra?", she screamed as she emerged from her car and saw that Ezra had already came out of his vehicle as well._

" _Sorry. I am running out of gas soon and I wouldn't make it to the gas station. And then I saw your car and my phone died and - "_

 _Aria sighed, not sure if she believed his story. She had been avoiding him ever since their break up and had deleted the messages he had sent her, not wanting to fall back into the web of chaos. She had not even told Spencer because she thought she would misunderstand the situation._

" _It's fine.", she said and forced a smile. They moved to stand in front of the car, a moment of silence passing them._

 _"Okay. Could you drop me off at some gas station or something, so I can call someone?"_

 _"I guess." She wasn't really in the mood, and she hoped there would be a gas station before the restaurant she was meeting Spencer at. She didn't want to ruin their first official date by tagging along Ezra and Aria could only guess how Spencer would react to him showing up with her._

" _Great.", he smiled and took a step closer. "You know, I missed you." He stood there, his hands in his pockets and his charming smile planted onto his face. Aria felt sorry for him. He wasn't the one to blame for all of this and it made her feel guilty being annoyed by him when he was so supportive and honest when she decided to take time off._

" _Yeah. I am sorry I didn't answer your calls."_

 _"Or texts.", he added and Aria nodded, scratching her arm nervously. "I just needed time, Ezra. I needed time to be by myself."_

 _Ezra took a few steps back then, leaning against the driver's door with his back pressed firmly towards it and Aria wondered briefly why they weren't inside the car yet. "So, do you still need time?" His tone had shifted and Aria didn't really like the direction this conversation was going. She noted how firmly he pressed his body against the door, almost shielding it and his behavior took her back to the time he started behaving suspicious because of his book._

" _Yes. So, should we go?" She wanted to get away from him._

" _Aria, why are you being so distant?", he forced for the conversation to go on. He stretched out his arm then, pulling her a little closer to him, and Aria could feel the tight grip he was holding her with. This was definitely something Ezra wouldn't normally do and it scared her a little. She stepped a little closer, still trying to have a distance between them, but not wanting him to lash out._

 _She tried to breathe normally. "I am not, Ezra. I told you, I just need space."_

 _He eyed her then, his eyes holding a darkness she didn't expect, and it made Aria want to call or text one of her friends, especially Spencer. Aria knew she was probably wondering what took her so long. "I actually have a meeting with some of my coworkers. I will just let them know it will take a little while."_

 _She glanced at her phone then, noticing how she didn't have any signal and she almost let out a frustrating sigh. Not wanting to risk anything, especially not after having lived through numerous A's, Aria did the one thing she could think of. She saw Ezra turn a little, his eyes not on her and she quickly put on a recording that she could later hopefully send to Spencer. She tucked the phone back into her pocket._

 _"Did you text them?", he asked, still not moving from the door._

" _Yeah." She smiled, hoping Ezra wouldn't notice how fake it was. She patted his arm softly, indicating for him to move away from the door. "Let's go."_

 _When he didn't move, she eyed him with a wondering glance. "Ezra?"_

" _Why are you lying to me Aria?" His voice laced with a tone of venom Aria had never heard him use before, and she attempted to step back, only to be pulled back. She felt trapped, and scared, and confused._

" _What? Why would you say that?" She didn't recognized her own voice as it was barely a whisper, shivering with fear._

" _I know that you are not meeting a colleague. I know that you are being distant for a reason. I know, Aria. Everything."_

 _She didn't knew what "everything" meant but she had a guess and the traces of jealousy she could spot on her exe's face were enough of a clue to know what he was talking about._

" _Ezra I - "_

 _"Shut up!", he screamed and as the cars passed by, Aria wondered why nobody found it weird that there were people arguing on the side of the road._

 _"It's enough!", he held his head in his hands and even though Aria knew she should run away, should wave for a car to pick her up, should do anything to get away – she was rooted to the spot, looking at her former lover with a sense of pity. Part of her wanted to comfort him, but there was another, bigger part that wouldn't let her. She walked backwards, hoping he wouldn't notice._

" _Don't run away!" In a second he had clutched her wrist tightly, and Aria felt a sense of deja vu. She forced those thoughts out of her mind, telling herself that Spencer's grip didn't compare to the force Ezra held her with. She screamed out in pain as he clenched his fingers around her slim arm._

" _Ezra please! Let go! You're hurting me!" The rational part of her should have called for help, but she wasn't thinking straight._

" _Why did you leave me, Aria? My life is falling apart without you!" Aria could see the tears welling up in his eyes, and she wondered how a person could be so conflicted with themselves._

" _How could you choose Spencer over me?"_

 _She closed her eyes then. Aria had never really thought about him finding out about her and Spencer, she didn't even know how he had found out. But it didn't matter anyway. He knew, and there was no way in denying now._

" _Ezra, I am sorry."_

" _Tell me you still love me." His strong hold on her didn't loose but Aria had long lost the ability to feel the pain._

" _I am sorry. I never meant for this to happen." She was breathing in uncontrollable patterns, convinced she was close to hyperventilating._

" _For what to happen, Aria?" The terror in his voice was enough to flinch but Aria kept quiet._

" _I asked for what to happen, Aria!" His free arm began to shake her then, and Aria wondered when he became so abusive._

" _To fall in love with her."_

 _It was the first time she had said those words out loud, and while it was probably not the smartest answer to give Ezra at that exact moment, it made her feel brave, feel free, and for a second she let herself smile. Her smile however fell, when Ezra's arm suddenly left the shoulder he was shaking, raising his hand in a threatening movement. Still trapped with his other hand clutched to her wrist, Aria closed her eyes. She was waiting for him to lash out, waiting for the sting she would feel on her face the moment his hand would collide with her cheek. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, nothing happened. She dared to open her eyes, not understanding why the pain never came. As she opened her eyes she could see Ezra shaking his head, his fingers clutched into a fist tightly, as if he was trying to control his emotions. He sighed deeply, locking eyes with her._

" _Aria, Please! She messed with your head! Don't you get that she can never give you what you need? What you want?" He hold her closer then, not as tight, but hovering over her like a predator, and Aria's body began to shake. Her mind was racing. He wouldn't..?_

" _Ezra, let me go. Please." She whispered, trying to make him understand that she didn't want this. "I swear I will tell no one, not even Spencer. Just let me go." She didn't realize that she was crying, both – of the pain on her arm and the pain she felt emotionally._

 _"I can't – I am so sorry. I can't." His breaths were short and his voice almost apologizing. Aria looked up, but before she could think of what he was doing he had grabbed her wrists into one, holding onto them with force as he dragged her with him to his car._

" _Ezra!", Aria cried out, as she wiggled against his touch. She tried to force her feet onto the ground, but there was no use. Struggling against him, she saw how loosely her phone sat inside the pocket of her jacket, now remembering that it was still recording. She took a short breath, shouting a little louder, struggling a little stronger, until the phone fell onto the floor without Ezra noticing. "Where are you taking me?", she screamed as Ezra pulled out a scarf to shield her eyes, preventing her from seeing. Not being able to fight against his strong hold she slumped into the back seat and heard Ezra buckle her up. She just hoped someone would find the recording soon._

…

"I am going to kill that - ", Spencer was already storming back to Caleb's car, Aria's phone clutched tightly in her left hand, her emotions spiraling out of control. Caleb grabbed her arm to put her to a stop. She struggled against him, shaking as she cried because of what they had just listened to. She wondered if there was ever going to be an end when she would live happily ever after.

"Believe me,", Caleb tried to reason with her. "I am right with you on this one, I want nothing more than to make him pay for hurting her. But we need to over think this, okay? If he really has Aria, we don't know how dangerous he really is."

Spencer closed her eyes briefly, blinking away some more tears. If she was honest with herself, she couldn't really believe that he was even capable of hurting Aria. He loved her too much to do that. Spencer knew that. But then his voice replayed inside her head. He had sounded so mad in that audio, despite hearing Aria's helpless voice and cries of pain. Part of her felt like it was her fault.

"This is all my fault. If I haven't - " She sobbed then, wiping away her tears as Caleb put an comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Don't go there, okay? It is not your fault. No one is ever to blame for falling in love."

Spencer weakly nodded. It was then that she suddenly remembered a part of the recording, one she didn't really grasp onto its real meaning as she was too busy to figure out what was going on.

"She loves me." Her voiced mixed into a laugh and cry, realizing how big this was - before turning to Caleb.

"We need to find her, Caleb. _I_ need to do something, so if you don't want to come - "

Caleb shook his head. "This is _not_ what I said. I just think, it's better to be prepared."

"Let's just go. I don't want to waste anymore time to get her back."

Caleb nodded then and the two of them got into the car.

…

 **There you have it! Hope you liked it.**

 **Ezra has Aria, but would he really hurt her? And will Spencer and Caleb be there on time?**

 **Also, next chapter there will be more Mona / Alex interaction! Stay tuned..**

 **.**

 **Please review! And Thank you for the support!**


	28. Heavy

Hello people, here comes an update! Hope you are still with me on this journey! This chapter is a little darker..Enjoy!

...

Alex saw Emily's features change as she came back into the room, shaking her head from side to side. "They are not answering their phones! Where the hell are they! We left them an hour ago!"

"I am calling Mona!", Hanna announced, locking eyes with Emily for a moment, before taking her own phone with her out of the room.

Alex couldn't help grow even more nervous. _What was going on?!_

"Do you really think Mona could be behind all of this? Do you think she would hurt Aria? Hurt Caleb and Spencer?!" Emily sat down on the chair in front of her and Alex could see how shaken she looked. It was once again proof that these girls shared a bond nobody would be able to destroy, and god was she jealous of that kind of friendship. She let her mind wander to Mona, and all she could do to answer Emily's question was shrug, still too worried about the tiny brunette who was missing to really think about those scary possibilities. She didn't know how she could cope if something serious happened to her. She knew it was wrong to ask Mona for help and she knew now she had made a mistake by asking Mona to come between Aria and Spencer, but she still refused to believe Mona was willing to risk Hanna's trust again.

"I don't know. I - I told her not to touch her. I don't know what's happening." She shook her head hysterically, burying it into her hands with a sigh, praying – even though she had never been religious – that they would find Aria soon. She didn't care as tears were falling from her eyes or that Emily was right next to her seeing her in her most vulnerable state , she wanted this nightmare to be over. Out of the corner of her eye she could see how Emily was eyeing her carefully as to find out if she was acting or not, Alex couldn't care less.

It was then that Hanna rushed back into the room. "It's not Mona!"

Alex's head shot up, locking eyes with the blond, an unanswered question on her lips.

"She told me it's not her who is behind Aria's disappearing and I believe her."

"What? How? Did she say she has proof? You know Mona's way of convincing people that _she_ is the victim!", Alex couldn't help but rush out in an aggressive tone, not caring how desperate she sounded.

"Mona is my _friend_. And unlike you, I trust _her_." That stung a little, but Alex brushed it off - there were more important things than trying to convince Spencer's friends she was done playing games.

"Besides, she thinks she knows who is behind all this."

"Who?", Alex and Emily asked simultaneously and Hanna took a deep breath before answering.

"She thinks it might be Ezra."

…

"I tracked his car, he is – wait – he is parked right outside his apartment.", Caleb noticed confused as he looked at the small screen of his phone that showed the car's location.

"Do you really think he would hide her in his own apartment? This is Ezra, the guy that spied on us for years!" Spencer couldn't think straight anymore, all she wanted was to know that Aria was safe.

"It's our only lead. Maybe we find something there."

Caleb was right, it was the only thing they got. "You're right. Let's drive."

She was tapping her left leg up and down, nervously clenching Aria's phone into her fist, as they were coming closer to Rosewood's center, closer to the Brew, closer to Aria – hopefully. It was then, as she let her mind wander that she remembered she hadn't called Emily or Hanna about the whole thing and that they were probably still grilling Alex for answers. It was Emily who answered after the second ring.

"Where the hell are you? We have tried calling you guys a hundred times! Are you okay?"

"Yes, we are – ", Spencer tried to explain but was cut short by Hanna.

"Mona thinks it's Ezra!" Spencer was confused, how did Mona find out about Ezra if they were the ones finding Aria's phone? "What? How?" She noticed Caleb making a weird hand move, pointing to her phone. She put on the speaker and he nodded, concentrating on the road again, as well as watching the location of Ezra's car.

"She said she had been spying on him and how she noticed that he was behaving weird, she didn't think too much of it though. But when we called, she hacked into his phone and that's when she found out he had saved photos of Aria's locations and messages. I think he hacked into her phone. Maybe via a virus or something, sent by a text message."

"Why would Mona be spying on Ezra?", it was Caleb who had asked and Spencer could hear Hanna call out his name.

"Are you okay?"

"I am fine, babe. I love you.", he answered with a smile and Spencer had the urge to roll her eyes for a second at their timing, but decided against it.

"Me too. Listen, we will explain later, okay? The thing is, Mona tracked his car, I think they are in Ezra's apartment."

"Yeah, we think so, too!", Spencer agreed, explaining in a rush how they found Aria's phone and the recording. "We are almost here."

"Wait!" It was Hanna again, who yelled out before Spencer could hang up and both she and Caleb looked at each other confused. Spencer could hear muffled sounds, and it almost sounded like someone was crying. She wondered briefly if it was Alex.

"He has a gun. There were messages on his phone indicating he was texting someone about buying it."

It was then that all color drained from Spencer's face. All while worrying like crazy about Aria, she still was convinced that Ezra wouldn't really hurt her, not physically at least, because she most certainly knew that deep down he still loved her. However, this information suddenly changed everything, and thoughts of terror and fear creeped into her mind, making her body shake.

"I still have to go inside." She looked over to Caleb, but her statement was directed to all of them.

"We are here.", Caleb announced a second later as he parked the car and Spencer could hear Hanna's cries on the phone.

"You know I can't let her go in there alone, right?" Spencer felt almost guilty for listening to their conversation, but she couldn't help but be the reason for Hanna's pain.

"I know. I love you. Be careful, please. Both of you."

Spencer sighed, promising: "We will, Han. I promise nothing is going to happen to him.", and Caleb ended the call with an "I love you."

…

"Why would you throw away everything that we tried so hard to build up over those last few years, huh? Why would you treat me like just another ex? I am your fiancé, for god's sake, Aria! This -", he harshly pointed between him and her, "was supposed to last a lifetime! How can you treat me like I don't mean anything to you anymore?"

Aria's hands were tied up strongly together as she sat in the corner of the room, not daring to move even an inch. Her body shook with fear, and she couldn't help the silent tears that would run down her cheeks. She couldn't believe that the same person she was so close to marrying was the person she suddenly became most afraid of. Ezra, who was walking in circles around the apartment they once shared, let out a frustrated groan as he wiggled around the gun he had pulled out shortly after they had entered their old "home". It dawned to Aria that there was nothing left in this place that made her feel that way anymore and it almost saddened her to see it vanish before her eyes. This had been her save haven, the one place she would run to when the world around her seemed unbearable to handle, and now it was the place she wanted run from most. Life could be funny that way.

"I never wanted for this to turn into – this – ", Ezra sighed, frustrated with his own emotions. Aria could see how conflicted he was, how hard being the bad guy was for him, but it didn't change his action, didn't justify them.

"Ezra, I know you don't want to do this.", she reasoned slowly. She didn't even recognize her own voice. Ezra turned to look at her, and for a brief second his hard features softened. He kneeled in front of her, and suddenly he was untangling her hands, holding them together with one of his own. Aria didn't dare to disobey as his gun was still clutched tightly in his other hand.

"I loved you. I don't know how else to love but with you. There is nothing else like loving you, Aria. And I can't imagine a world without you, without your love."

His voice shook with sadness, and Aria couldn't help but take note of the heaviness of his words.

"Ezra, you _can_ love again. I know you can."

He shook his head, protesting like a small child and then chuckled quietly. "You don't understand, Aria. You are the one person I want to marry. I want everything with you. No one else will understand me the way you do. If there is no you, then there is no one. Without you, there is no me."

"Please don't say that.", she whispered, not sure where he was heading with this emotional speech, but it sounded too much of an _ending_ and she didn't mean it in a _break-up_ way.

"Aria", he called out her name, stroking her hands softly with his thumb and even though he was supposed to be someone to be afraid of, it strangely gave her a familiar feeling of comfort. After all, this was the man she had loved for almost a decade, and some part of her refused to believe he was capable of hurting her - really, physically, hurting her.

"I am sorry.", she apologized, thinking that she should have said that a lot sooner. She had been a coward by not talking to him, and now this was her karma, his kind of revenge – she closed her eyes. "I do care about you, Ezra. And I swear to you, if you let me, if you let go of the gun, I will help you get through this. I know you are scared of being alone, but I will be there with you every step of the way, okay? I will help you get better."

She tried to search his eyes to make him see that she was serious. Had she known how deep he had slipped, she would have helped him sooner, would have tried to drag him out of the hole he was falling into. As she scanned the apartment with her eyes for the first time, she noticed all the empty beer bottles and take out boxes piling up in the room. She hadn't noticed them before, as her fear had clouded her vision, but now that she was thinking straight, she could see the old shell of a man that used to embrace life to the fullest. And for the first time, Aria understood that Ezra's mental health had maybe never healed to the fullest since his obsession with Alison and that there might still be a voice inside his head telling him that what he was doing was the right thing, no matter how wrong it seemed to everybody else, to her, to the real world.

She was about to carefully reach for the gun in his hand, when she suddenly heard the front door crash open, only to reveal Spencer and Caleb breathing heavily as they stumbled into the room.

…

"We have to do something", Spencer urged as they stood outside Ezra's apartment, hearing loud voices coming from behind it. Spencer flinched when she heard Ezra scream out, but she couldn't identify the words, despite trying her hardest to understand.

"I am going to use my shoulder to break the door." Caleb stated, looking for Spencer's approval and she nodded as he handed her the metal bar they had picked up downstairs. They knew that it would bring little help in case Ezra would use the gun, but they had to try.

The door cracked open on the first attempt, making Caleb fly into the room as Spencer rushed to help him up, before looking across the room to see the one person that mattered most to her.

Her eyes welled up with tears as she locked eyes with Aria, and unspoken words crossed the two lovers, as Aria's eyes shone into hers.

However, the moment of joy and relief lasted only a mere second, as the crash had not only brought Aria's attention to the new pair, but Ezra's as well. Turning around, he pointed his gun towards them. "Step back!", he shouted, balling his hand into his fist and Spencer could hear him curse under his breath. "Do not come any closer. One more step and I - I will - I will blow your heads off!", he stuttered, as tears fell from his eyes and Spencer held up her hands, watching as Caleb followed suit.

"We won't come any closer.", Caleb affirmed, and Spencer wondered how he managed to stay so calm.

"Did you call them?!", he shouted over his shoulder to Aria, who hadn't moved from her sitting position and she shook her head violently. "No. I swear, I didn't call them."

Spencer felt waves of anger boil up inside her as she watched Aria's shaken frame on the floor, wanting nothing more than to sprint forward and let her fist crash into her former teacher's face, before cradling Aria into her arms to whisper words of comfort to her.

"How the hell did you find me here?", he demanded and Caleb spoke first: "I tracked your car."

"Dammit!", he cursed loudly, and kicked away one of the beer bottles on the floor. Spencer's breath hitched as the glass shattered, but stood still, her eyes not leaving Aria.

"Listen, Ezra. I am sure your neighbors will hear you screaming and the door is still open and that means the police could be here any second. So why don't we just handle this ourselves? Why don't you put away your gun, and we can talk this out, okay? We all know this isn't you."

Spencer wanted to scream at Caleb, wanted to lash out at Ezra and tell him that there was no way of talking after he had kidnapped Aria and basically threatened all their lives, but it wasn't the time for the truth, or even for justice, so she played along. Nodding to indicate that Caleb was right. She could see Aria standing up slowly, their eyes not leaving one another, and she silently tried to tell her not to move. Aria didn't seem to listen to her though, as she rose to stand behind Ezra. "Ezra.", Aria said softly, and it sounded so sweet that Spencer almost felt betrayed at the mere sound of Aria calling her ex's name.

"You don't have to this." She spoke quietly, and she reached out a hand to touch his arm. Her eyes moved away from Spencer's and locked with Ezra's as he turned to face her from the side, his gun still moving back and forth and suddenly there was a silent conversation going on between them that Spencer couldn't read.

"I am so sorry for having to do his, Aria." Ezra wiped away the fallen tears from his face, and moved the hand in which he held the gun. In an instant, Spencer's eyes grew wide, wanting to yell out and sprint over to them, but Caleb's arms moved to hold her in place, preventing her from moving any further and she felt too paralyzed to even speak.

With a trembling hand Ezra raised his gun, but to all their surprise he didn't point it to Aria, but into his own chest. His hand was trembling as he began to shake his head and Spencer could see Aria's face grew paler than it already was.

"Don't!", she heard Aria scream. And Spencer's eyes widened in shock and terror as Aria's hand reaching around Ezra's, her body pressed firmly behind his. The taller girl couldn't believe how reckless her girlfriend was being.

"Aria!", she finally yelled, but Caleb's strong grip wasn't letting her move. "Please -"

"Shut up!", she heard the smaller woman scream and Spencer was too shocked to say yet another word. She couldn't believe what was happening, all she could do was watch in horror, as Aria was risking her own life to save a man, who had not only used and betrayed her, but also kidnapped and threatened her.

"What are you doing?", Spencer could hear Ezra hiss, as Aria didn't move from her spot behind him, her hand still clutched around his and the gun.

"Ezra, if you shoot you, you will shoot me too. You know that the bullet will probably go through both of our bodies, right? I won't let you do this. I won't let you.", Aria's calm voice and determination surprised Spencer. And even though she thought she was being beyond stupid for throwing herself in for Ezra Fitz, she didn't think she had seen a stronger version of Aria Montgomery.

"Please let me go. I don't want to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you." His sobs were uncontrollable by now, and his hands shook with every second that passed.

"You don't want to do this. I know you don't.", it was Aria's sweet voice again and Spencer's eyes stayed glued to her girlfriend.

"Nobody moves!", Spencer heard someone shout and she saw a police officer came into the apartment, as another one was close behind. She briefly wondered if it was the neighbors who had called them, or their friends. The two men passed through Caleb and her, coming to a stop when witnessing the scene in front of them.

"I just want this to be over.", Ezra pleaded while Aria didn't move from from her position.

"I promise you, we will get through this."

"I hurt you. I hurt you. There is no way you can still care about me."

"I still do. I care. And I don't want you to take your life, Ezra."

"I just feel so alone."

"I am here. I am not going anywhere. Please just calm down and give me the gun."

"I am so sorry.", Ezra cried, and for a spit of a moment, Spencer held her breath, but released it just as quick as Ezra let slowly go of the weapon, slumping to the floor suddenly, burying his head inside his hands, as he started weeping like a small child.

In one second Aria slumped to the floor as well, and placed the gun at a distance beside them. Her arms encircled his tall frame, and Spencer spotted Caleb moving to grab the gun, handing it to the policeman, who was too confused to react.

Spencer watched as the two bodies stayed clinging together for a moment. Aria held onto Ezra's fallen form, whispering words of comfort; Caleb breathed heavily as to calm himself down, and Spencer was rooted to the spot - watching the couple sob while holding onto each other like they were the only ones in the room. That's when she felt a sensation cringe inside her, and while she tried to tell herself that she had no right to feel that way, she couldn't help but let it absorb her fully: Jealousy.

The rest of it, happened in a blink of an eye. After moments of waiting, Aria finally let go of Ezra and the two police officers handcuffed Ezra to bring him to the station. Spencer witnessed how Ezra turned one last time to Aria, mouthing what looked close to "I am sorry." and "I love you". She furrowed her forehead as she saw the hint of a small smile grace Aria's features as she watched after him. She couldn't analyze the moment any longer however, as she suddenly felt a body pressed into her, arms embracing her in a crushing hug. She didn't hesitate in bringing her closer, as she felt Aria shaking in her arms, rubbing her back, while kissing her head repeatedly. Tears of joy ran down both of her cheeks, and Spencer felt warm again, her heart finally healing after being terrified for so long.

"I am sorry, Spence. I couldn't let him kill himself. I just -"

"Shh.", Spencer interrupted, drawing circles onto the slim body in her arms as she laid her head on top of Aria's. "It's okay. I am here. You are safe."

All thoughts of Ezra had suddenly vanished, as she realized that Aria was safe and sound in her arms and how close she was to losing her.

"I am never letting go of you again." She promised while holding her girlfriend close to her, not caring that other policemen and some other people had entered the apartment. Looking over Aria's head briefly, she saw Caleb smile softly at her and she couldn't help but thank him with a wink as he seemingly tried to explain the situation to the cops, letting her and Aria have their moment.

"I love you.", she heard Aria mumble into her chest and her heart skipped a beat at those simple words. "I need you to know." Aria looked up then to meet her watery eyes and Spencer's heart filled with warmth and love. "I am in love with you.", she heard Aria whisper and Spencer smiled as she felt kisses being pressed into her neck, that mixed with Aria's tears.

"I know.", she softly replied, letting her hand wander through the thick locks of brown hair. "I love you, too.", she whimpered, finally allowing herself to fully show her emotions. "I was so terrified, so scared. I am never letting you go again."

"It's okay." She felt cold hands being placed onto both of her cheeks, and she could feel Aria lowering her head so they were on eye level. "I am here. You found me." Spencer couldn't describe how much she felt just by looking into the brown orbs that were starring back at her. She nodded, unable to form words and she felt Aria run a hand across her cheek.

"We are together now. It's all that matters."

"It is.", she agreed, finally dipping her head to meet Aria's lips in a kiss that tasted of tears, and relief, but most of all of hope, and love.

...

There you have it! Aria is saved!

But there are still some things left in the open.. now that Alex and Mona kind of helped to get Aria back - will the girls finally realize that Alex is willing to try to change? What if Alex' secret of going behind Aria's back and spying on her comes out? You will have to wait, review and stay tuned to find out!

All the best and see you soon with another update! Please tell me what you think in the meantime! your words is what keeps an author writing these stories for those who are reading them!


	29. Up and Down

_**Here comes another chapter! Thank you for those who always take time to read, and review. And to all of those anonymous guest readers, too. The story will slowly come to an end, but there will be a few more chapters to come.**_

 _ **Enjoy for now, and please tell me what you think in a comment!**_

 _..._

 _Two weeks later_

Spencer's eyes stayed focused on the smaller body in her arms sleeping peacefully in her bed in the barn. It had been two weeks since her life had been put to a hold. Despite having wished never to return to her hometown, she had decided to come back to Rosewood to stay with Aria and be with her. She had given up on applying for any jobs in Washington and decided a break from everything but Aria was what she needed the most. It had also been two weeks since they had taken Ezra to the police station, and they hadn't heard anything since. Spencer knew Aria wanted to talk to him, but Spencer was perfectly fine not having to see him ever again. They were both sure however that he would probably end up with _Alex_ in a mental institution. Aria had been hinting at seeing her again, trying to convince Spencer that she had changed and that she had tried to help them when she went missing. Spencer knew she was right, but she just didn't know how to feel about her _twin sister._ However, letting Aria go alone, was not an option. Ever since that night, Spencer hadn't let Aria go out of sight, and while she knew she was probably overreacting at times, she couldn't help but feel a little overprotective over her girlfriend. She knew she should try and give her space eventually, but the sole thought of losing her again was tearing her apart. That is why Spencer had finally decided to agree to take Aria and visit Alex Drake in Philadelphia. She would lie if she said she wasn't nervous and she didn't like the idea of her _sister_ still having feelings for the girl she was with, but she tried to relax and reason with herself that Aria had chosen her in the end. She knew if she didn't do this now, she would chicken out later, and never be ready for this.

She smiled, when she saw Aria's eyes flutter open and she kissed her forehead lovingly.

"Good morning."

Aria smiled momentarily, but pulled the blanket over her head a second later, nestling into Spencer's embrace and mumbling something that sounded like "5 more minutes". Spencer laughed, pulling away the blanket and searching for Aria's brown eyes.

"I have been thinking.", the older brunette announced and Aria's head peeked from under the blanket, her eyes searching Spencer's face for answers.

"I know you want to see how Alex is doing. And I have thought about what you said..."

Aria sat up in bed, suddenly fully awake and she was looking at Spencer with wide eyes. It made Spencer realise how much Aria really wanted to go visit her, but at the same time she couldn't help but feel a little jealous at Aria's excitement. She just hoped Aria wouldn't notice.

"Spencer?", she heard Aria say and she realized she hadn't really finished. She sat up in bed to sit next to her, and was suddenly nervous. A part of her regretted having decided to go through with it.

She felt Aria take her hand then, and the small movement of Aria's thumb brushing against the back of her hand, made her feel more relaxed.

"We can go to Philadelphia and visit her, Aria. I would do it for you.", she almost rushed out the words before she could think otherwise and she could see Aria's lips curve into a smile.

The smaller brunette crawled over grinning, stretching out her arms to lay them loosely around Spencer's neck. "You would do that for me?"

Spencer couldn't help but smile at seeing Aria so happy. "Yes.", she hesitantly nodded.

She felt Aria's hand brush her face and her eyes burned deep into hers. "Are you sure?", Aria asked. "I wouldn't want you to do this if you aren't ready. I can go see her alone, when _we_ are ready for me to go out alone, I mean."

Spencer couldn't help but smile, a thoughtful look crossing her features.

"I am sorry that I have been a bit overprotective lately. I just worry." She looked down, avoiding Aria's eyes as she spoke.

"Hey.", Aria said firmly, lifting her chin to maintain eye contact.

"I don't blame you, okay? And honestly, I feel safe with you." She pecked her on the lips, before drawing back.

"And like I said, I think it would be good for you to actually see her. I want you to move on from all of this. And I swear, she has changed. You said it yourself, Hanna and Em said she seemed worried when I was gone, right?"

Spencer couldn't help but roll her eyes. "Yeah, because she is in love with you." She didn't mean to sound so bitter, but the words escaped her mouth before she could stop herself.

Aria looked taken back, creating a distance between them. "Spence."

Spencer sighed. "I am sorry. I can be a bitch sometimes. I just worry."

"About what?"

Aria's fingers started brushing at the nap of Spencer's neck and it made her nervous.

"That you and her get along. That you connect. That somehow – she is a better version of me. I know what she did was terrible. But to create such a game, you have to be smart, incredibly intelligent. And she never really harmed you that much. She wanted you on her team, she targeted you the least and - "

"Shh.", Aria stopped her. "Just try and forget the past for a sec, okay? Please. She _is_ sorry for the things she did to us. And maybe she does have a soft spot for me, so what? I told her that we could only be friends and she accepted that. You don't need to worry, okay? You're stuck with me."

Spencer closed her eyes briefly, trying to get rid of her doubts. With a soft kiss planted on top of Aria's head, she nodded.

"Okay. Thank you. I love you, you know?."

"I love you, too."

…

"Are you _insane_?", scolded Hanna next to her on her couch and Aria waved her hand a little for Hanna to lower her voice.

"I just think it is time. They are sisters, after all. Plus, Spencer agreed. I wouldn't force her into this. You know me, Han. I wouldn't do this, if I didn't believe it won't help her. I think both of them can benefit from this."

Hanna sighed. "Did you guys tell Ali? I mean, technically she is family, too..." She trailed off, clearly waiting for Aria to say something.

"I have mentioned it, and she didn't seem too upset about it. I wanted to ask her to come, but I just have this weird feeling that it wouldn't be the best idea. All Alex and Ali really shared was their love for Charlotte, and now that she is dead there is still so much unresolved business, I guess I don't want it to blow over. I mean, she should know what's best for her and she has Emily and the girls now. Maybe she doesn't need to visit her to move on."

"And Spencer does?"

Aria sighed. "I know Spencer seems tough. But she is hurting, still. She can't let go of the fact that Mary is still gone. She hasn't heard from her. No letter, no call, nothing. And I haven't really thought of that woman until a few days ago, because our lives have been crazy again, but I know she is hurt. I hope Alex can give her the answers no one else can."

Hanna bit her lip, and Aria noticed how the blonde was nervously squinting next to her.

"Hanna?", she asked, but her friend didn't quite meet her eyes.

"You haven't talked to Alex or Mona at all since it all happened, have you?"

"No, I already told you, we -"

"And Emily or Ali haven't said anything, either?"

Aria grew nervous, as if there was something bigger to come. She hated that secrets had started to dedicate her life again. She grew impatient.

"Hanna, what aren't you telling me?"

Hanna's voice was shaky. "It's about Alex, and Mona. They have been working together again."

"To save me. They worked together to save me, Hanna."

Hanna shook her head. "No, even before that."

Aria's forehead wrinkled in confusion, not knowing what Hanna was trying to say. "What?"

"Alex knows. She found out about your relationship with Spencer, because Mona told her."

Aria's head was spinning. "What? Why would she do that?"

"Because Alex asked Mona to spy on you. She wanted to know the real reason you were avoiding her."

For a moment, the small brunette was too shocked to talk as she sat frozen at Hanna's coffee-table. Her heart sank when she realized that Alex had once again betrayed her. She knew it hadn't been very nice of her to avoid her and she haven't had the chance to visit her since her kidnapping, but she thought Alex understood that she needed time to come to terms with what happened.

"No." Her voice was tiny, broken as she realized she might have been wrong about Alex after all.

Hanna's face showed empathy, and she reached out a hand to comfort her, which Aria gladly took, still not fully believing what that meant.

"I am sorry, Ar. I know you liked her."

Aria smiled, despite feeling betrayed and hurt. "Thanks, Hanna. For telling me. I guess now is the time to tell me: _I told you so_."

Hanna shook her head, moving a little closer to Aria on the couch, and draping an arm over her shoulder. "I won't do that. But Aria, there is more."

Aria's eyes widened, not knowing what to think. "More?"

The blonde girl tensed, almost as to not really wanting to say what was really going on.

"Hanna, what is it?""

"She and Mona tried to sabotage Spencer by manipulating her interviews. Mona hacked into the e-mail accounts of the law firms she applied for. That's why nobody would offer her a job and all she got was rejections."

Aria felt like she couldn't breathe. Spying on her, betraying her – was one thing, but involving Spencer into this – crashing her chances at having a real job – Aria couldn't believe it. The emotions of disappointment and sadness had evolved into rage and anger. Alex had tried to ruin Spencer's life – _again_. Maybe had been wrong. Maybe Alex hadn't changed at all. Her body was trembling with resentment once again.

"Why would she do that? I thought she had changed. God, I feel so stupid for believing that bitch could ever change."

She held her head in her hands as a few tears started to fall.

"Aria, I am sorry.", Hanna tried to calm her as she rubbed circles on her back. Aria was grateful for having her there, she needed the comfort.

"Spencer has finally moved on. We are finally on our way back to normal... she has even begun to try and understand why it was important for me to give Alex a chance. This ruins it all. I have to speak to Alex."

Aria made a move to stand up, but Hanna was faster as she took hold of her wrist and pulled her down again.

"Speak to Alex?! Aria, are you crazy? Look, I know this is confusing right now, but you need to speak to Spencer first. She thinks that nobody wanted her as a lawyer and it's not even true! Who knows how many jobs she would have actually gotten?"

"I know, Hanna. I just – I am scared.", Aria confessed and she spilled her heart out to Hanna. She told her that part of her wanted to tell Spencer everything, despite knowing that eventually it was the right thing to do. But there was a bigger part that was conflicted about that choice. It was the part of her that was scared. Scared to finally accept that Alex didn't deserve another chance. Scared for Spencer to ultimately lose the chance to connect with a member of her _real_ family, scared to lose Spencer to Washington again, now that she might have a real chance at getting a job, scared that everything that happened would be too much for their newfound relationship to get passed.

"What do I do?", she finally asked, tears having stained her face and she tried to wipe them away.

"Speak to her. Tell her everything. Tell her you are scared. Tell her that you still want to see Alex. Just talk to her. Don't try to make this more complicated. Secrets always come out."

Aria nodded, glad that Hanna was there to reason with her.

"Do you think it is wrong for me to still want to see Alex?"

Hanna shrugged. "I saw the look on her face when you went missing. We were all scared and Em and I wanted to kill her at first because we thought she had something to do with it. But after a while, we both understood how scared she was for you. There is no such acting, Aria. She cares. I guess, you have to find out if she cares enough to accept you and Spencer and enough to change."

Aria wondered when Hanna had become so wise, but as she looked at her friend, she could see how she had grown up into this incredible smart, beautiful woman. Out of the four of them, she had clearly gone through the most personal development. She felt proud to see her grow from the more superficial and naive high school girl into this intelligent, funny and loving woman.

"Thank you, Hanna. For telling me, and for making me feel better. You are the best. I am really glad to have you, you know?"

"Me too.", she smiled, and then suddenly she hiccuped, a few tears making their way down her cheeks. Aria frowned, but it turned to confusion as she saw Hanna starting to laugh.

"I am glad to have you, too. And I really need all of you right now, because Caleb has finally managed to knock me up, and I can't do this without my girls."

"Hanna!", Aria exclaimed, forgetting her own problems for a moment, and pulling her friend into her arms, as her lips turned into a real smile. "I am so, so happy for you. You deserve this. Both of you. And we are here for you, whatever you need."

"Thank you. I am here for you, too. It's what best friends do."

...

 ** _There you have it. A little short, but Aria now knows about Alex betrayal and Hanna is finally pregnant!_**  
 ** _Please tell me what you think.._**

 ** _Slowly everything will fall into place.. But will the girls finally get their happily ever after?_**

 ** _Thank you so much for reading! xx_**


	30. Assurance

**Hey, are you still there? First of all, sorry for that long time of absence. I just didn't have the motivation for the story that I had when I started it, and honestly I felt like most of my readers have lost interest in this, as well. However, I don't ever like to not finish something I have started, so here we are. It's going to be small steps. This chapter is a little shorter than normal but I just wanted to tell you guys that I am back again. And you tell me, if you think I should continue with this. I love reading and writing Sparia but it's always nice to share the work with someone. So please take a minute to tell me, if you would like to see more.**

 **Anyway, thank you so much for your patience and your messages.**

 **Here we go.**

The room was filled with silence as Aria sat on the couch, her legs curled up on the side and her hands were fiddling nervously with her phone. Her eyes were rooted at the door and every time Aria could hear something creak, she sat up instinctively as she prepared herself to have that one conversation with Spencer that could change everything. She hadn't really thought of how she was going to start explaining the things Hanna had told her, but her blonde friend had been right. Too many secrets had sabotaged their newfound relationship already, and Aria didn't want Spencer to find out somewhere else just so that things would start to boil all over again.

She starred at the wooden door while seconds turned to minutes, and minutes to an hour. By the time the door opened she was almost asleep, eyes closed from the brightness of the light, when she suddenly heard Spencer whisper her name.

Her head moved up in seconds and she spotted Spencer withdrawing her hand from where she had laid it on her shoulder.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you."

Aria shook her head softly, making room for Spencer to sit next to her on the couch. As soon as Aria felt Spencer's weight drop next to hers, she shifted closer, reaching for the taller girl's hand almost on impulse.

"Are you okay?", the brunette asked as she ran her thumb softly along Aria's hand, and Aria could already see how her brows furrowed in worry.

Aria shrugged slightly, not knowing how to start.

"I was at Hanna's earlier."

Spencer seemed confused.

"I know."

"And she said something - ", Aria couldn't find the words, she paused, thinking of the best way to get this off her chest.

"Aria?" Spencer's attention was now fully on Aria, confused as to why that information was important.

"She told me some things, Spence. And I swore to myself to not keep anything from you again, ever, so -"

"She is not in love with you, too, is she?" Aria was halfway at breaking out in laughter, when she noticed how serious Spencer seemed. Instead of laughing, she shook her head, planting a kiss on their intertwined hands.

"No. It's nothing like that."

"Good. I don't think I can handle more competition." Spencer's tone was light and a small smile tucked on her lips, but Aria knew the weight behind them.

"There is no competition, Spence." Aria assured her, squeezing her hand briefly and smiling up at her, before turning slightly, as her eyes found the door again.

"Do you wish you would have gotten a job in Washington?" She didn't mean to sound so cryptic, but she couldn't help it. A millions of thoughts were rushing through her mind and she wasn't able to control the chaos that filled her head.

"I – what has that got to do with the fact that you were at Hanna's?"

Aria grew impatient, her fingers fiddling with Spencer's hand. "Just answer the question, Spencer."

Spencer sighed at that, opening her mouth slightly when seconds later it fell shut again and Aria already knew the answer. "You do.", she answered before Spencer could speak up again, and even though she wanted to drop Spencer's hand she forced herself not to.

"I _did_ , yes.", Spencer agreed, and then her eyes went dark. "But that was before you were kidnapped - by Fitz. Before I was scared to death that something might have happened to you. Before I felt guilty that I couldn't protect you. And now - Now I don't even know what I want besides being here to look out for you, holding you so you won't be able to escape, watching you sleep peacefully so I know you are okay. You don't know the thoughts that kept swirling through my mind while we were looking for you, Aria. I don't even want to think about that day."

"I -", Aria tried to say, but Spencer shook her head, her voice suddenly rising. "You don't understand, Aria. When you were risking your own life to save Ezra from shooting himself, I lost it. I wish you would have thought about me in that moment. Did you even think how _I_ felt when you were basically at gun point?!"

"Spence, I understand that -"

"No!", Spencer screamed, her body shaking. "Aria, you don't understand. You don't understand. I could have lost you that day and – and I can't - I can't live without you." Aria could spot tears in her girlfriend's eyes and she felt her heart break at the sight. Without thinking she cupped the taller brunette's head, bringing her down to meet her own lips, before Spencer had time to pull away. Their kiss tasted like salty tears and desperation, and Aria allowed herself to stay in it a few more seconds until breaking apart, her hands cupping Spencer's face while her own tears threatened to fall.

"I am sorry. I know it looked like I was being reckless, but - "

With that Spencer withdrew her body from Aria's and shook her head furiously, new tears making their way down her cheeks.  
"Aria, for god sakes you fricking told him he would shoot both of you, if he pulled that trigger! And don't tell me you _knew_ he wouldn't do it. You don't know what someone is capable of in a state like that. You were lucky - and insanely stupid for risking your life that way!"

It took Aria a second to fully grasp on Spencer's outburst. She was right. She _was_ being reckless, and she hadn't really thought of the consequences in that moment. Seeing Spencer so furious and scared at the same time, made her suddenly realize what her girlfriend must have been going through.

"I am sorry.", she swore again, scooting a little closer, hoping Spencer wouldn't push her away. Spencer sniffled, but wrapped her arms tightly around her in a bone crushing embrace, inhaling the smell of her hair as Aria laid her head on the brunette's chest.

"Me too. I didn't mean to scream at you. I just - I was so scared. I don't ever want to be that close to losing you."

"Me neither." Aria replied after pressing kissing soft kisses to Spencer's collarbone, and she knew she didn't had to elaborate on that. They both had been going through hell those last months and Aria could only hope that it wouldn't get worse than that after she would tell Spencer the whole thing.

It took both of them a moment to relax again, but when Aria could feel Spencer's breathing had calmed down, she decided to try again, this time going straight to the point.

"Alex and Mona have been working together.", she began and even though she still had her head burrowed into Spencer, so she couldn't see her face, she felt Spencer tense at those words.

"They have been sabotaging us. _You_. Hanna told me they were spying on us. And that Alex had made Mona sabotage your mails. That's why you got rejected, Spencer."

When she finished, Aria noticed how awfully quiet Spencer was, so she turned her head to see what Spencer was thinking. The other girl's eyes seemed empty and for the first time in forever, Aria couldn't quite read her. After giving Spencer the time to progress the new information, Spencer finally turned to make eye contact. "Thank you for telling me.", she softly said. "I guess I shouldn't be surprised." Aria could feel how Spencer's body sank into hers, and Aria quickly sat up to bring Spencer's body down to hers in order to console her. "I am sorry about the job, Spence. Maybe you should call some of them. I am sure they would be thrilled to have someone as outstanding and efficient as you to work for them. We can work this out. I could go to Washington. I don't want you to miss out on such an opportuinity" Spencer's reply was a soft laugh against Aria's body and a kiss to her exposed shoulder blade. "I love you for saying that. But I don't think I want to be in Washington anymore. Not right now at least. This is still our home. Maybe in the future, when we both decide it's the right move."

Aria felt like a thousand stones had been lifted off of her shoulder, but she couldn't help but feel guilty, too. "You don't know how happy I am to hear that, but I would never want to be responsible for you not being able to live your dream."

Aria could feel Spencer's hot breath near her ear, her mouth dangerously close to that sensitive spot right below her ear. "Lose her?" She smirked, and Aria blushed deeply. "She is right here.", she heard Spencer whisper as shivers ran down her spine. "And I don't ever want to lose her ever again." With that Spencer grabbed Aria by the waist and pinned her into the soft furniture, before attacking her neck with hot wet kisses and sliding her hands down her small body.

"Spencer.", Aria breathed out, unable to formulate a coherent sentence as Spencer's hand worked their magic over Aria's slim frame. "What about Alex, and Mona though?", she got out, breathless as she tried to push Spencer slightly off of her. Spencer groaned, lifting herself off of Aria so she could lean on her elbows, hovering above her. "You really know how to ruin the mood, you know?", she hoarsed frustrated as Aria couldn't help but giggle at the way Spencer's dark lustful eyes were still eyeing her. Deciding that another drama could wait, she slung her left arm around her girl's neck, guiding her down so she could feel Spencer's body against hers again. "I changed my mind. Let's not talk anymore", the writer whispered, before connecting their lips roughly, leaving no more room for discussion. She could hear Spencer moan into their mouths, her hands finding the curves of her body easily, her mumbled words barely audible: "Your wish is my command, baby."

 **tbc**


	31. Simplicity

**Hello again. Something rare happened today, I found motivation in writing and couldn't help but write this chapter. Thank you for those who keep reviewing and still read this story after such a long time of absence.**

 **I hope you all enjoy this chapter, it's the beginning of the end. Is it a happy ending though?**

 **Enjoy.**

 **...**

Spencer's mind was racing. Her heart pounded in sync with that of the sleeping girl resting on her chest, finding the rhythm of peace and calmness, all while her thoughts couldn't stop spinning. She was glad Aria had told her about Alex and Mona and she felt such a giant rock leave her shoulders that she had finally told Aria how scared she had felt that night Aria had been kidnapped by Ezra.

Thinking about the past months, she sometimes couldn't really believe that that was really _her_ _life_. That this was actually reality. It seemed so bizarre and right out of a Thriller movie, but then again nothing had been normal since Alison's fake death. And when her eyes travelled to the one person she loved most, she knew she would go through it all again just to end up at that moment with Aria in her arms. As she listened to the soft breaths, she couldn't help but wonder how so much strength could fit into such a tiny body. Sometimes, she couldn't believe how many times she had come too close to lose her and she finally was ready to admit that she wanted to be happy, to be normal.

All her life, she had wanted to reach for the stars, be the best at everything, beat Melissa and be the independent, smart and ambitious woman her parents had tried to raise. After everything that has happened though, she longed for nothing more than simplicity. Simplicity with Aria Montgomery.

And for that she needed to set some things straight, to mend relationships, to swallow her pride and forgive people she knew had hurt her in a way that shouldn't be forgiven.

She wanted to talk to her mother, reach out to her as their relationship had somehow suffered again ever since she had been kidnapped and had distanced herself from almost everyone but Aria. She wanted to work with her again at the law firm, and not live off of her and her father's money that they were still sending her because they knew she was going through a phase of depression, as she once told them.

She wanted to thank the girls for all they had done for her, and she couldn't help but want a normal sleepover with them. Their group all together, watching a corny movie, eat some popcorn and talk about things like their jobs, Ali and Emily's girls and Hanna being tired of throwing up because of her pregnancy (the one she only really knew about because Aria had told her last night). She wished for simplicity.

And then, there was something else she wanted, something she was almost too scared to admit. She wanted to visit Alex. Alone. She knew she needed this in order to move on. In order for her to be normal and leave the past behind. Spencer had never understood Alison's relationship with Charlotte, but there was a part of her that wanted to at least talk to her. Aria had told her in detail last night what Hanna had told her before, and while it wasn't what normal couples would talk about while they were lying in each other's arms, sweaty and naked after several rounds of love making, it seemed pretty normal to them. Aria had told her that Alex had genuinely cared about her disappearance and that she had wanted to help the girls desperately to find her. Spencer couldn't help but see the softness of Aria's eyes as she talked about her sister, and it made her wonder if there was indeed some good in what was Alex Drake. She considered wanting simplicity with her sister, being able to see her as more than the monster she viewed her as. She pondered on that thought for a little longer, letting her mind wander.

„What are you thinking about?", came a soft whisper and Spencer turned to the voice slightly, seeing that Aria's eyes were still closed, and Spencer doubted she had even opened them to look at her.

„How can you know I am awake when your eyes are still closed?", she wondered in awe and Aria smiled as she snuggled into her, her right hand tracing small circles on her left arm.

„Do you think I have to open my eyes to know that something is troubling you?", she raised an eyebrow then, slowly looking up at Spencer and Spencer felt her heart melt.

„Simplicity.", she answered softly and pressed a kiss to the tiny brunette's hair.

„Hm?", came the confused answer and Spencer chuckled a little.

„I want simplicity. With you, with our friends... with my family. I want to feel normal again."

Aria smiled, lifting herself up a little so she could see eye to eye to her.

„Okay.", Aria nodded, catching her off guard and pecking her on the lips. „I am here to support you, you know? Whatever you decide, I am in."

„I want to visit Alex. Do you think that it is wrong? After everything that happened? After hurting us? After kidnapping me and Ezra? After hurting _you_? After spying on us? After finding out she manipulated my e-mail so I couldn't get a job?" Spencer sighed, her eyes heavy and her heart soared in a way she didn't know how to analyze.

„It's not wrong, Spencer. Whatever _you_ decide is right. It's your life. It's your choice. " Assurance, guidance, support. Aria's voice was filled with those and more. Love and understanding. Another kiss to her slightly open lips sealed her words and her eyes didn't leave Spencer's.

„I want to go by my own. Is that, is that okay? I - ", she was interrupted by a kiss again, this one a little longer, and Spencer was about to slip her tongue past Aria's lips when her girlfriend broke the kiss. A small pout escaped Spencer's lips and Aria giggled lightly at that, cupping her cheek tenderly.

„It's your choice, Spencer.", she said and Spencer wondered if Aria knew the impact she had on her, she wondered if she knew how she was the reason, Spencer felt so brave and put together in all this.

„Ok then, it's settled. I am visiting Alex.", she breathed out.

„Okay, then." Aria gave her arm a small squeeze before she settled into her arms again, humming softly as Spencer began stroking her air.

…

Her heart was pounding wildly in her chest as she and Dean came to a stop in front of one of the heavy doors of hallway three.

Dean had led her through the small corridors, and her mind had flashed back to all the other times she had been in a mental institution. Radley had surely left a scar in her life she would never get rid off and she wondered what a place like this could do to people. Good or Bad.

As her head throbbed and her heart was beating so fast she could almost feel it come out of her chest, she felt a hand on her shoulder.

„It's going to be fine." She turned to look at Dean and nodded, feeling slightly better.

Her mind drifted back to the morning hours, as she and Aria had laid in bed together, cuddling and sharing stolen kisses, and the way her blood had rushed when she felt Aria's hand moving down south. Morning had turned into afternoon, and even though she had been reluctantly to leave, she had been sure she had to do this this same day. She had kissed Aria goodbye longer than usual and the writer had gave her the last reassurance she needed: _I love you. You can do this, Spence. You are the strongest person I know. I know you can do this, Spencer Hastings. Call me if you need to hear it one more time._

Spencer wished she could call her in that moment, but before she knew it the door opened and she was led inside.

„You have a visitor.", Dean said and Spencer couldn't look anywhere but Alex. It was the first time seeing her since the day she had been admitted into this place so long ago.

„Spencer?" Alex's eyes grew wide, and Spencer couldn't read what flickered inside of them.

„Is it okay if I leave the two of you alone?", Dean asked.

„Yeah.", both of them answered at the same time and Spencer could see Dean trying not to chuckle at that. Her eyes travelled to the woman on the bed again, when she heard the door click.

„I must say I am surprised. I didn't expect you to ever step into this room." She twirled around a loose end of hair through her fingers.

„You cut your hair." It was the first thing that came to Spencer's mind as she looked at her.

It was cut short, only reaching her to the shoulders, and was colored a tone darker than before. She still looked very much like herself, but she didn't look like the copy she had seen months before either.

„Yep. I was kind of tired looking like someone I really wasn't, and the look was too boring anyway." Even though her tone was provocative, Spencer couldn't help but notice the soft undertone underneath.

„Aria told me some things, about you and Mona.", she began and Alex raised an eyebrow, smirking.

„Ahh. So that is why you are here. To yell at me? Go ahead then. I had had worse."

This wasn't what Spencer had been expecting when she came here, she didn't really want to fight. She was tired of fighting. She knew she should lash out, yell back, but she was too happy with her life at the moment to start a war again.

„I am not going to yell at you. I know you did it to break up me and Aria. I know you fell in love with her. And part of me is sorry for you, because she chose _me._ And I am not letting go of that, I can promise you that. You think I don't know what you feel, but I do. I didn't come here to yell at you. I want to make peace with myself, finally. And I had to come see you for that. You were the monster that wouldn't let me sleep, you were the nightmare I had woken up from again and again, and I want to understand. I want to know why." Her voice was calm, and strong, and determined, and even Spencer was surprised with how she handled this situation.

„Spencer -", Alex began, standing up from her position of the bed.

„No.", she held up a hand, didn't let Alex finish. She had to say this first. She had to get it all out, make herself free. She knew what she wanted. She didn't want to be scared of the demons in the dark anymore, the monsters under the bed, the fear of getting a text message. She wanted it to be over. Aria's words kept repeating in her head: _I love you. You can do this, Spence. You are the strongest person I know._

„You made my life a living hell. You hurt me, and you hurt the people I love most in this world. But you know, what? I forgive you, Alex. I forgive you for all of it. For all those nights I couldn't sleep, for the worry and the heartbreak, for every tear I cried because of you. I forgive you. I don't want revenge anymore. I want to be free, free of darkness, free of it all. It's my choice. It's my life."

Before Alex could blink them away, Spencer had seen the tears welling up in her eyes, and it made her reach out an arm to touch her shoulder. The touch felt so foreign, yet familiar and for a second she felt her face twist in a way that made her lift up the corners of her lips slightly.

„Why? Like you said, I made your life a living hell. It's not possible for you to forgive me."

„I am tired, Alex. Tired of the games, tired of the competition, tired of not being happy, not being free. I spoke to Aria. She sees something in you, no else can. She believes that you can change. That you can get better. That you can be one of the good people. She is a dreamer, you know. And she cares. She cares more than anyone else I know. I came here to see if she is right."

Two sets of caramel eyes starred into each other, wordlessly, the weight of Spencer's words swirling between them in the space of air, until one simple question, just two words, cut the line of silence.

"Is she?"

 **Sorry to leave it like that. A cliffhanger never gets bored, does it? Tbc. Please leave some comment so I know you are still with me :)**


	32. A Second Chance

**So, this is chapter 32. I am not sure if there will be a chapter after this, or if we just jump ahead to the epilogue. I do want to have a scene between Alex and Aria though, so I might squeeze in a chapter before ending this with an epilogue that will most likely be set after some time has passed. And with that, Aftermaths will be finally be completed.**

 **But if you are up for it, I do have an idea for a Sequel, a few years into the future.**

 **For now, enjoy the last installments of Aftermaths. What a journey.**

 **...**

Her heart couldn't stop pounding. How many times had she envisioned this moment before? When she first got into this place, she had wanted to spit at her, slap her across the face or worse – crank up her neck so she would never have to see her again, her – Spencer Hastings– the lucky one. It could have been her life if she had been born first, just seconds had decided fate and that thought alone had created a bitterness towards her sister so cruel and murderous she had wanted to make her life a living hell. Alex didn't know what had changed exactly. Maybe it was the pills, or the talks with Dean and the friendship the two had began to share. Or maybe it was Aria and her perspective of life to give everyone a second chance, to believe in people in the worst state and to fight for those you love more than anything. It had been a puzzle of small pieces, a series of events that had led up to this moment, and Alex suddenly found herself looking forward to a future in freedom. She knew she would never fully cross the line to the innocent, to the white hats, she would remain in the fine line between black and white, the color of grey marking her territory, but she had come to understand, and she did want to try and live a life outside these walls. It was easy what she wanted. Simplicity. Being able to build herself a life, and move forward. She could only guess what it would take to get there, but she was up to accept that challenge.

"Is she?", Alex asked her visitor, feeling nervous, anxious even as her eyes searched for answers.

"You tell me, Alex." Alex had imagined Spencer to be cold, hateful, but not this. Calm, forgiving and even almost – almost caring. Putting all her pride aside she knew what she needed to say, needed to finally say out loud.

"I want her to be. Right, I mean. I know I hurt you. And I – I am sorry." Her eyes closed at that briefly, before she looked for Spencer's stoic face again. "I am really sorry, Spencer."

There was a brief pause that hovered between the two sisters, before Spencer's hard facade finally broke and a small smile appeared on her lips.

"Alex Drake – apologizing?"

If Alex was honest to herself it did sound like a joke. Never in a million years had she thought she would one day be apologizing to Spencer. But there she was, finally wanting to make things right.

"Yes.", she chuckled nervously. "I know there are some things that cannot be forgiven, and I don't want people – I mean especially not you – to forget what I have done. I will always feel responsible for killi - "

Spencer's hand shot up suddenly to cover her mouth and Alex's eyes widened in surprise.

"Stop. I don't know who else knows about this, but as fas as everyone else knows you only held me and Ezra Fitz hostage, and that's it. You do want to get out of here someday, don't you?"

Alex couldn't control the small smile that broke out at those words. Did Spencer really care about her getting out of there?

"Dean knows anyway. He saw the tape, the one were I explained everything to Aria."

She could see Spencer's eyes dart away from her, and she wondered if Aria was still a sensitive topic to her. She realized that Spencer was a lot like her. She tried to bottle up emotions, making it seem like she didn't care. She wanted to say something, but Spencer beat her to it.

"So? Those informations are confidential, it's like confessing to a psych. They can't do anything about it. As far as the police knows you are not a murderer."

"Why would you protect me?" Alex's voice almost cracked at those words.

"Believe it or not, I now believe in second chances. I spend a lot of time thinking about this, and I won't say it will be easy for me, but I will try. I will try, if you will."

"I will. I promise."

"Good."

They both smiled shyly at each other, and Alex didn't quite know what to do next. She knew normally those promises would be sealed with some sort of gesture. A handshake, maybe? But a handshake just felt too business like and she didn't know if a hug was appropriated.

"I guess it is too soon for a hug, right?", she attempted to joke to break the tension and she felt relieved when she heard Spencer chuckle.

"Let's not overdo it.", her twin sister said, but did put a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

Alex smiled warmly, getting used to this feeling around someone so close yet so far at the same time.

"Does that mean you will come visit me again?" She had never been shy around people, except maybe Aria, but she did feel uncertain in that situation.

"If you want me to, yes."

She nodded, finally being able to accept that she wanted to work on this relationship. There was still one thing though that she needed to know. She had thought about the small writer constantly, and even though she had finally come to the conclusion that there would never be a chance for them as something more than friendship, she still missed her deeply.

"Can I ask you something?" She begged the universe – and she never did – to not let this ruin their moment, but she had to ask.

"You could try."

"Do you think Aria will stop hating me?" Her heart still leaped in a way it never had before, when she said her name, but time was slowly healing her and making her ready to move on.

She could see Spencer's eyes squint a little, and she hoped she hadn't ruined everything they just had built.

"She does not hate you, Alex.", Spencer finally said and Alex let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. "In fact, I think she misses you." The somewhat bitter and sad tone she said those words with didn't go unnoticed though. "I know she wants to see you. She really cares about you, Alex. And I know I said I want to try to get to know you. But I swear if you ever hurt her again, I will have you move across the country to never see you again."

She knew it wasn't the time, but she couldn't help but chuckle slightly at her sister's words. It was ironic how one tiny person could make both her and Spencer's life turn upside down.

"I care too much about her to hurt her again. I just want to see her again. I want her to know that she got me through this. She was there for me when no one else was. She was my first real friend. And I know Aria loves _you_ , Spencer. I know a big part of her wouldn't come see me because she was too worried about you. That girl would do _anything_ for you. Oh, and one thing goes right back at you. If you hurt her, I will promise you the same fate you promised me."

There was a long pause, and Alex hoped they would still be able to move forward, hoped Spencer would understand where she was coming from.

"Sounds like a deal. I promise to talk to her, okay? To come see you I mean."

Alex eyes widened in awe. "You would do that for me?"

"I would do that for both of you. Maybe we could visit you together sometime?"

"I would really like that.", she whispered. And she really, really meant it.

"Okay. Take care, Alex."

"See you soon, Spencer."

And with one last smile Spencer was gone, and Alex finally felt like the hole she carried along in her soul was starting to slowly heal.

...

Sitting in her car for what felt like hours, Spencer couldn't get herself to turn on the engine. She kept replaying her conversation with Alex inside her head, and she didn't notice the tears falling from her eyes until she heard a sob escape her own throat. The feeling of relief flooded through her like wild waves and she finally felt free. Tears streamed down her face and she let them fall, not attempting to catch even one. This was it. This was what had been bottled up inside her for so long and now - finally - she could get it out of her system. She sobbed wildly, and at the same time she began laughing, too. She was finally free.

A loud knock on her car window pulled her out of her somewhat delusional space and she was about to yell at whoever had interrupted her own victory dance against her own emotions, when she turned and saw no other than her girlfriend smiling softly through the glass. She quickly unlocked the car, already stepping out of it, and enveloping her in a tight embrace. Her breaths were still uneven, as tears continued to stream down her cheeks but she didn't care who saw.

They stayed like this for several moments longer, until Aria slowly leaned back to look her in the eyes, her arms still wrapped around her and her own arms encircled around the smaller woman's waist.

"Are you okay?", Aria asked her in a whisper, taking one hand away from her grip around her neck to trace it along the tears stained cheeks, smiling as her eyes automatically closed by Aria's feather touch.

"I am.", she replied with all honestly and she took the short pause as an opportunity to peck her girlfriend softly on the lips.

"What are you doing here?", she wondered, still in awe that Aria had shown up.

"I figured you could need some support.", the other woman smiled lovingly.

Spencer's heart leaped, smiling at Aria as she let her fingers wander through her hair. "I do."

"How did it go?"

Deciding it would take a while to explain, Spencer took Aria's hand in hers. "I finally feel free" She bend down to rest her head against Aria's.

"Let's go home first, okay? I will tell you everything there. But just so you don't worry, I am fine and Alex is fine, too."

"Does that mean you will give her a second chance?" Spencer could see Aria's eyes twinkle with pride and excitement.

"It does.", she nodded, letting her eyes rest on Aria's. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For supporting me. For giving Alex a chance when I couldn't."

"Spence. You don't ever have to thank me for that." With that she stood on her toes, guiding Spencer towards her, kissing her with force.

"You don't know how proud I am. You are the strongest person I know.", Aria whispered against her lips and even though Spencer wanted to protest, to

say that she wasn't that strong, that if it hadn't been for Aria she wouldn't have mend things with Alex that day, Spencer decided to tell her later.

In that moment, all she wanted was to hold onto Aria, kissing her senseless, letting herself fall into the moment.

And for once in Spencer Hasting's life, her mind was free. It was not racing, it was not thinking. All there was, was the present. And she finally felt content.

 **tbc**


End file.
